Before Wounded Warrior - Qui-Gon, Obi-Wan mission - COMPLETE - 23-Dec-2007

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by ardavenport, Dec 8, 2007.

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  1. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Title: Wounded Warrior
    Author: ardavenport
    Timeframe: pre-Episode I, pre-TPM
    Genre: humor, mush
    Characters: Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon
    Keywords Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi, toe, Jedi
    Summary: Obi-Wan is injured. Qui-Gon is patient. Mostly.
    And: typo is my middle name, with missing words and errors that spell checkers don?t catch being my speciality ? if you see any, just post a reply or send a PM with the what and where and I will kill them with no mercy.
    Disclaimer: All characters belong to George and Lucasfilm; I?m just playing in their sandbox



    "This way! This way!"

    Voices repeated the command, while others shouted demanding to be told more. Obi-Wan did not hear his Master's voice amidst the panicky tumult, but he could feel his hand under his shoulder, grasping a handful of robe and carrying him with the others. But all he could see were the bodies around him, arms and clinched hands. No faces. His robe supported most of his body, though he could feel the weaknesses threatening to tear under his weight and smell the burned fabric. The legs of the people carrying him jostled his body as the mob moved out of the open meeting hall into an enclosed darker space.

    Hands clutched his legs and boots and brushed against his left foot, the one part of him that was injured. Obi-Wan sucked in air through his teeth, a slicing sound, like the pain. His foot was still there, he was sure of that, but the intense burn went deep, as if his flesh had been fused to the sole of his boot.

    They bumped and shuffled into a better lit room with natural, outside light reflected on the ceiling. Though he was twenty-two years of age, he was not very large (certainly not by Qui-Gon's standard) but a dozen people had rushed to carry him anyway.

    "Over here! Over here!" The command echoed between the bearers along with several, 'easy's, 'careful's and 'all right's. Qui-Gon remained silent, but when Obi-Wan was laid on a soft, padded surface it was his Master's hands that cradled his head.

    Long strands of dull brown hair touched his cheek and he caught a glimpse of dark blue eyes looking down at him and the hint of a smile. Qui-Gon knew he was not hurt badly.

    "Give him air! Give him air!" a meeting hall official pushed the crowd back. The would-be helpers were reluctant to give up their minimally positive role as if they were seeking absolution for their calls for violence only moments before.

    Obi-Wan lay on a full body recliner next to a wide window in what appeared to be an office. The recliner was not properly adjusted to his height and the rumply folds of his damaged and singed robe jabbed him. Faint wisps of smoke still rose from his left boot. The smell of burnt fabric and plastoids intensified.

    Obi-Wan looked upward to scan the worried faces.

    "Out of the way! Out of the way!" Senator Bladdos and his aide, Mainuz, pushed through with a small, pretty woman in a blue and yellow striped suit and carrying a matching blue and yellow case with a large silver triangle on the side. Obi-Wan lifted his head for a better look, but his Master's large hand gently pressed it back down on the cushion. Then the second hand loosened the Padawan's lock on the back of his head.

    "Get people out," the woman demanded, her voice carrying strongly over noise around her. "And chair for me, for sit on." Two uniformed meeting hall officials enthusiastically drove out the crowd. The bodies shuffled out with heads still turned, their gazes still clinging to Obi-Wan.

    His forehead warm under his Master's hand; Obi-Wan felt an increasing detachment from his wound. It still seared his flesh, but it no longer overwhelmed all his senses. Breathing deeply, Obi-Wan pushed away his embarrassment over needing his Master's help with such a limited injury. He heard Qui-Gon's voice close to his ear. He closed his eyes. . . .

    Obi-Wan started. The broad dark brown back of Qui-Gon's robe bent over his leg which was clasped under his Master's arm. Obi-Wan
  2. JediKaren Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Apr 26, 2007
    star 3
    good one. I liked it
  3. Master_Tigris_Leigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 10, 2004
    star 1
    Yay! A new story! *happy dance* [face_dancing] And what's this? A tbc at the end? Another yay! Excellent start! Poor Qui-Gon, he's finally losing his patience. :D I can't wait to see where you take this! Please update soon!

    =D=
  4. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    I couldn't find just one part to quote or comment on. I loved the interweaving of the "replay" and real-time - and man, those Holonet anchors sounded real.

    This was great and I really enjoyed it. How many parts will it be?
  5. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Loved that he only hurt his big toe and yet all the fussing. From the holo it did look like he was hurt far more than he was.

    Good job.
  6. Cole_Kenobi Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 17, 2005
    star 2
    Aha, I was so excited to see that someone had written a new Qui-gon and Obi-wan story, and an injured Obi-wan at that! And I was not disappointed, to say the least.

    I love how you started this story, very cool depiction of Obi-wan being carried aha. And it's so true, people tend to over react. And I love the subtile things that make such a difference and so how much people care. Like Qui-gon cradling Obi-wan's head, untying his ponytail, and not letting him watch as the healer cleaned his wound. Aha. Very fatherly like, and very cute. I loved the banter between them.

    I wish and hope that you continue this story, that would be great if you did, it would make me really happy! :D Oh, and if you have a PM list, can I please be added? Thank you.
  7. Nimloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2007
    star 1
    Nice story, I liked it: some politics, some fun, some action, even some mush...And you described too a very peculiar diagnostic technique with all that sniffing around the patient![face_laugh]
  8. Ara-gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    Another great start to what will undoubtedly be a great story! I look forward to the rest. I'd love a PM if you're doing them.
  9. LuvEwan Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 24, 2002
    star 4
    Pretty morbid that the guy wanted Obi-Wan to have worse injuries. [face_shame_on_you] I love the image of the 'wounded warrior' lying there with a pillow under his foot. [face_laugh] And interesting that the healer was sniffing him--I love those unique and quirky touches to your stories.

    Can't wait for more, of course! =D=
  10. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4


    Ah yes I hurt my big toe once and you seem to bump
    into everything with it[face_laugh]
    Keep it up on the pillow Obi, out of harms way.:D


    cool :cool:
  11. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    JediKaren: Thanks for reading! :)

    Master_Tigris_Leigh: Glad you enjoyed it - thanks!

    Valairy_Scot: Aaaah, I was thinking of those talking-gossipy news people when I wrote the holonet anchors. There are only 3 parts to this one. And I'm sorry I'm slow on posting them because I'm still in un-packing mode at my new place. Ugh. That really gets in the way of writing. Thanks for reading!

    dianethx: I had a picture of Obi-Wan with just his big toe hurt. But people will make a big deal out of it anyway. Aaaah the life of a Jedi. Thanks for the reply!

    Cole_Kenobi: Glad you enjoyed the story! It's those little gestures and things that fill out Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan's relationship, and I think that Qui-Gon is more physically demonstative with a touch or gesture.

    Nimloth: Thanks! I like to put a little of everything in stories, if I can. It makes them more real to me and more fun to write. :)

    Ara-gon: Thanks! :)

    LuvEwan: Pretty morbid that the guy wanted Obi-Wan to have worse injuries. [face_shame_on_you]

    Oh, yeah, we fanfic writers never do that.[face_shame_on_you] [face_shhh] [face_mischief] And I've always heard that the sense of smell is vastly overlooked for what people can do with it, but it's inconvenient to use it. So, I'm supposing that some GFFA cultures do use it, an amusing detail to put in. Glad you liked it!

    Gkilkenny: It is surprising how exposed toes can be, especially Jedi toes. Thanks for the reply! :)

  12. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    For some time Obi-Wan stared up at the bland ceiling, contemplating many days of standing silently glaring at emotional and posturing delegates. He recalled his first meeting with Senator Bladdos who, without introduction, pronounced him 'too small to be any good' and demanded that Qui-Gon send back to the Temple for 'something bigger and meaner' before they left Coruscant. Qui-Gon's cold denial had sufficiently satisfied the Senator that at least one of his Jedi escorts could be useful for his purposes.

    Obi-Wan had reviewed the facts and history of the Staretz unification talks, the factions, the traditions and objections of the various ethnic and corporate entities. None of that had mattered to Bladdos, or his staff, who sneered at the suggestion that either Jedi actually participate in the talks. He was more concerned that his Jedi not ever stand together so Obi-Wan's unimpressive stature was less obvious.

    For the first few days Obi-Wan had sincerely imagined that he was looking at Bladdos whenever he glared at any disruptive delegates. Bladdos was pleased, but he had done it too well because Qui-Gon had sensed the real target of his ire and had admonished him for it in private.

    Days of observation had revealed how exceptionally well suited Bladdos was at herding the snarling mass of delegates toward their duty. Just prior to this mission, Obi-Wan had prepared himself with puny facts. Bladdos and his staff had come armed with an arsenal of knowledge, cunning and skill. They knew who to flatter, they knew who to bribe, they knew who they could have removed from the room. But every trick and insult still advanced the talks toward their goal, establishing the unified governance. Qui-Gon himself had said, 'It was impressive.'

    Accepting that he had much to learn about this type of negotiation, Obi-Wan finally looked down at his wounded toe, propped up on the white pillow. The bottom of his foot tingled a little, making it feel less like an object separate from himself.

    Another holo-facz snooper cruised by the window.

    The office was sparsely furnished with desk and chairs that had just enough metal-blue surfaces to make them desk and chairs. Matching abstract shapes decorated the walls and there were cabinets and a meeting table by the far wall where the droid had retreated. There were a few pictures of people on a shelf behind the desk as well as some text sheets, indicating that someone used the office, but otherwise it was very plain with pale walls and some squat plants in heavy pots.

    Obi-Wan turned on the com on the stand next to him and tapped through the public channels. He saw holos of . . . .

    . . . . Qui-Gon emerging from the office anteroom with Bladdos's Rhodian assistant. He impressively stared down the throngs of beings shouting questions at him while the security droids and officials warned them back.

    . . . . the blaster confrontation in the conference room seen from different angles.

    . . . . three commentators arguing over the merits of the unification of the Staretz, Po-Staretz and Staretz-Mek Confederations.

    . . . . the blaster confrontation in the conference room replayed as he and Qui-Gon had originally seen it.

    . . . . five holo-facz persons comparing what they did not know about the sequestered negotiations and a lot of speculation about what they did not know about the condition of the 'wounded warrior' Jedi Apprentice and how his Master would react if his condition 'became terminal.'

    . . . . the blaster confrontation in the conference room recorded from a rather crude personal com belonging to a minor participant.

    . . . . some holo-facz recordings of Jedi in confrontations on other planets and some inflated descriptions of Jedi abilities, along with a narrative about 'Ancient Jedi Blood Traditions' that Obi-Wan had never heard of.

    . . . . the blaster confrontation in the conference room recorded from above the circular table with several voices arguing about the general ignorance of the commentators on the other com channels about Jedi. One
  13. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    "He is pleased with us?" Obi-Wan asked with surprise.

    "He apparently appreciates our silence and obedience most." Obi-Wan thought his Master looked a bit unhappy with being complimented for his obedience.
    [face_laugh]

    Yes, I can see Qui-Gon not too thrilled with his role. Loved this:

    So he had watched carefully. This conference would unify several systems. It was the final act of years of politicking. Bladdos had been a negotiator, off and on, nearly from the beginning. The result was logical; the unification would bring together the peoples of many worlds and stifle years of antagonism. The methods were a chaos of promised favors, appointments to persons of high rank and dubious qualifications, wrangling over trivial points of ceremony and hours and hours of deal-making. If this was how the galaxy was run, Obi-Wan wondered why it didn't all crash from the weight of its excesses.

    Bladdos plowed through the political muck like a hungry horned eel, squeezing out favors and bullying anyone who hesitated. He mastered details that Obi-Wan had no hope of commanding unless he was willing to devote a large portion of his life to it. Obi-Wan cringed to think of himself buried in the arguing and backstabbing. He considered himself a good negotiator, and Qui-Gon had commended him for his growing skills, but this was no simple peace treaty. This was the depths of the dirtiest politics that dominated the lives of billions of beings.


    Wow.

    Poor Obi-Wan feels a bit out of it. Will he stay that way?
  14. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Obi-Wan felt embarrassed, exposed. "Master, is this deception wise?" he asked.

    "No," Qui-Gon answered immediately. "If it is undone, then it could undo everything Senator Bladdos has accomplished so far, though I would not be surprised if he yet found a way to continue dominating the delegates. He is very good at it. And he quite enjoys it."

    "But Master, you've seen the holos. You're being portrayed as Bladdos's silent, malevolent shadow. And I've practically joined the Force. And what is the Ancient Jedi Blood Vengeance, Master?"

    "Aaaaah, Senator Bladdos made that up spontaneously during an interview. He has a surprisingly creative mind for a politician."

    "But it's pure deception!" Obi-Wan argued. "Surely the Council objects to it."

    "As I have already said, they do not. And the Jedi Council is notorious for ignoring mis-information about Jedi, especially if it enhances the mystique of the Order."

    Sadly, Obi-Wan knew this was true. He had learned years ago that people of all species tended to gravitate toward stories that were most entertaining regardless of their accuracy. The Jedi made little effort to counter the sometimes overwhelming tide of sentient fancy, and at times like these, they even swam with it. It was practical to use the tales and exaggerations to their advantage, since they would be out there anyway, like a persistent fog. But the desirable mystique came tainted with an odious haze of misconception and prejudice as well.


    No, the deception is not wise and I'm surprised that the Council would agree to it. It could all come crashing down if the reporters discover that Obi-Wan only had a toe injured. It would make it look like the Jedi were liars as well and make things a lot worse for everyone.

    Good job on showing Obi-Wan's boredom. Looking forward to more.
  15. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    loved it and eager to see more of this mission.
  16. Nimloth Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Mar 10, 2007
    star 1
    Days of observation had revealed how exceptionally well suited Bladdos was at herding the snarling mass of delegates toward their duty. Just prior to this mission, Obi-Wan had prepared himself with puny facts. Bladdos and his staff had come armed with an arsenal of knowledge, cunning and skill. They knew who to flatter, they knew who to bribe, they knew who they could have removed from the room. But every trick and insult still advanced the talks toward their goal, establishing the unified governance. Qui-Gon himself had said, 'It was impressive.'


    Interesting character that Bladdos, kind of twisted, as a politician, but with some redeeming traits...

    Nice chapter!:)
  17. Ara-gon Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 31, 2005
    star 2
    Very interesting perspective, Ardavenport, to tell the story from the pov of someone who is on the periphery. Obi (and your readers) are getting most of our information second-hand. Of course, the story could be more about Obi's inner world, but he seems pretty serene, all things considered. It's novel, and I can't really guess where it's going next.

    Loved the details about the various sun-ups and downs. A world of continual sunrises and sunsets--I think I'd enjoy that!

  18. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    Valairy_Scot: Obi-Wan will get back into the 'action', sort of. ;) Thanks for the reply!

    dianethx: Thanks! Deception is a terrible idea, but I have a feeling that the Jedi gave up a long time ago about keeping the facts straight about them. Padme, an educated senator, thought that love was forbidden to a Jedi, and from an outsider's view, that's what it would look like, but that is still a pretty simplistic way of looking at it. But I also think that the Jedi Council can just go with things if it suits them. They certainly put up with a lot of corruption in the Senate for a long time.

    earlybird-obi-wan: Thanks, glad you enjoyed it!

    Nimloth: Politicians are rarely all good or bad, and they're more interesting that way. Thanks for reading!

    Ara-gon: I do love putting in details in stories. None of them are enough to make a story from, but they add up for the stories they go into. Thanks for the reply!


  19. ardavenport Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Dec 16, 2004
    star 4
    <<<OOO>>> <<<OOO>>> <<<OOO>>> <<<OOO>>> - - - Part 3


    "Obi-Wan."

    He opened his eyes, waking to a quick, rough touch on his cheek, but when he looked up toward his Master, he only saw Qui-Gon's back, turned away, going to the medical droid at the other end of the room.

    Sitting up, Obi-Wan blinked. The light outside had gone to a ghostly, sterile white. It was already well past red sunset, leaving only the planet's tiny white dwarf star in the sky.

    Obi-Wan swung his feet off the recliner and saw a tall white and silver cylinder standing upright by the door. Surprised, he looked from the medical capsule to his Master who was impatiently giving instructions to the droid.

    "There are no injuries for me to attend to -"

    "Correct." Qui-Gon cut the machine off with a wave. "However, you will appear to behave as if you are tending a seriously injured patient."

    The droid blinked, red and orange. Something inside it whirred softly.

    "Please specify the nature of the injuries to be simulated."

    Qui-Gon scowled, apparently unsatisfied with the droid's initiative and imagination.

    "Shock. Dehydration. Blaster burns to the torso and extremities," he ordered.

    Obi-Wan wondered if he would survive. The droid confirmed the instructions, and that they were only simulated injuries. Qui-Gon went to the medical capsule and activated it. The cylinder swivelled down into its cradle, hovering over the floor. The clear-plas opening slid back with a gentle whoosh.

    Qui-Gon finally turned back and actually looked at him.

    "We will be returning to the ship. Senator Bladdos has requested that you be transported in a suitable fashion."

    "Requested?" Obi-Wan asked with a grin.

    "Demanded, Padawan." Qui-Gon's hard glare invited neither discussion nor questions. He was not just hurried; Obi-Wan saw only unyielding purpose and no compassion at all.

    "Yes, Master." He nodded, gathered up his belt and lightsaber, and limped to the capsule, keeping his weight off of his injured toe. Qui-Gon stepped aside for him. Obi-Wan laid his hand on the smooth clear-plas, preparing to climb in.

    The office door slid open.

    "What is he doing standing?" Bladdos snapped, then whirled about, confirming that the door had shut behind him before aiming his ire at Qui-Gon, who lifted his head slightly, his expression severe.

    "You said he would look the part," Bladdos pointed a thick finger up at the Jedi Master. "He can't have his miraculous Jedi healing until after he's back at the ship."

    Obi-Wan stood there, frozen as if the contempt between Master and Senator had thickened the air around him. While he had slept, the two had transformed into enemies.

    "My Padawan is quite capable of performing his part for your. . . . display. Your concern, such as it is, is misplaced."

    Bladdos snarled. "Then get on with it," he ordered in a derisive tone that he used for delegates who used up thirty words complaining about another delegation being allowed six more words than they had.

    Qui-Gon turned away from the politician. He folded his arms into the sleeves of his robe, an unhurried gesture that Bladdos followed with narrowed eyes.

    "Obi-Wan, you will assume the appearance of the injuries that I have instructed the droid to simulate treating." Qui-Gon did not quite look at him as he spoke, his expression cold with what a Jedi Master might only privately admit was anger.

    "Yes, Master." Obi-Wan did not hesitate or question. Anything other than obedience would put him right in the middle whatever conflict now divided his two seniors.

    He climbed into the medical capsule, putting aside the folded covering as he did so. As soon as he had lain down, Qui-Gon spread the shiny fabric over him, effectively concealing his lack of injury. The ends of his long hair briefly brushed over Obi-Wan's face and neck as he brushed the covering smooth, the edge a neat line across his chest and the end of his thin Padawan's braid.

    "Here, take these." Obi-Wan looked up to see Bladdos waving the ruined boo
  20. Valairy Scot Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Sep 16, 2005
    star 5
    You have such a unique take on things - this was truly wonderful. Great job.

    Loved Qui-Gon's anger.
  21. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Poor Obi-Wan and his big, bad toe. I bet the Council won't be happy with this resolution either. At least Qui-Gon tried to argue with the man. However, if the reporters ever found out, it wouldn't be Bladdos that would look bad...

    Good job.

  22. earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    Great ending to one enjoyable story. Loved it=D==D=
  23. Gkilkenny Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 27, 2004
    star 4

    I loved these lines in the previous post[face_laugh]

    Obi-Wan stared back. "He wanted you to intimidate people in the fresher, too?"

    Qui-Gon only shrugged. "It is most effective when the target is in such a vulnerable position."

    Obi-Wan did not reply to that, picturing the dark shadow of Qui-Gon looming behind nervous politicians cringing before the fixtures in a fresher. He dipped his own drinking tube into the water cylinder on the tray and drank from it.


    A wonderful story showing what weird and wonderful beings Jedi are.o_O


    =D= =D=
  24. ratna Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2007
    star 4
    Dang! All the good comments are taken! What they said. (Especially about intimidation in the 'fresher...8-})

    Actually, I was initially so freaked out by Obi-Wan's injury that I was afraid to read further. Just shows how realistic and empathy-inspiring your descriptions are. Glad I got up the courage to revisit, since it's a wonderful and masterful little story. I guess news feeds are the same in any Galaxy. Nice nod to canon and the potential downside to the Jedi of fostering misconceptions. I also liked the multiple suns. Reminds me of a short story I absolutely adored about a spacer stranded on a planet with multiple suns of varying colors, and the light of each brought forth a different, ghostly civilization on the planet. I read it forever ago and can't remember the title, but it was deeply surreal, yet also rich and beautiful in descriptions.

    Much=D=
  25. azizah Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 4, 2006
    star 1
    Oops. :oops: I read this and did not leave a reply. [face_blush]

    This was really enjoyable, full of dry humor and great detail (as usual). I think that is what I love most about your stories, personalities and emotions come out in the details and that makes them so much stronger and more real than when they are just openly expressed.

    I like how all of the action takes place offstage, it adds to Obi-Wan?s isolation. And I love that Qui-Gon finally ran out of patience.

    Great work.
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