Write a FAN LETTER or HATE MAIL to your FAVORITE or most DESPISED EU CHARACTER!!

Ah.....the good all "Write a FAN LETTER or HATE MAIL to your FAVORITE or most DESPISED EU CHARACTER!!" thread that inspired the "Where in the Galaxy is Borsk Fel'lya's drones?!?" thread.

Hey...there are so many unanswered letters in here....tsk tsk tsk....somebody needs to answer them....

 

Dear Fey'lya,
You are crafty and smart. You made it to the top of the New Republic. Don't mess it up. Shut up about the Bothans sacrifice 22 years ago. It's about time you made a sacrifice.

Dear Kyp,
Thank you for keeping Luke on his toes.

Dear Leia,
Finish your Jedi training. Your queen mother would've wanted it that way. If Mothma is still alive, knock her out for holding you back.

Dear Balance Point spoiler,
Thank you for being there.

 

Dear Red-Gold 03,

Don't anger the guy who's brother controls Centerpoint.

Sincerely,Jacen

 

<snip>Dear Leia,
Finish your Jedi training. Your queen mother would've wanted it that way. If Mothma is still alive, knock her out
for holding you back. <snip>

Dear Jag,

You know my mother? Please tell me more! PLEASE!!!!!!

Anxious,
Leia

 

Dear Jaina,
Hurry up and ask Zekk out!! He LOVES u man!!

Dear Jacen,
get a girlfriend mate, Danni or Tenel Ka, u choose!!

Dear Anakin,
GEt a life!

Dear Leia,
Get away from HAn...he's MINE!!

Dear Han,
DUMP LEIA, SHE'S A BITCH!! Marry me instead!!

Dear Mara,
Come on girl, we need some action!! Nothing's happening between u and Luke!! IT was better BEFORE u got married!!

Dear Callista,
U should have taken Luke when u could!! Now he's taken, what a pity!!

Dear Lando,
I wish Han had never saved u from the Sarlacc pit!! It was have been nice to see u die!!

Dear George Lucas (sorry not a character)
MAKE MORE MOVIES. MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE ORE MORE MORE MOERM MORE MOREM ORE MOREMO REMO REMO REMO

 

Dear Jagged,

So you'll support my attempt to assassinate Luke?

Sincerely,Kyp

 

Dear Forcefire Jade,

I already got Tenal Ka.Our relationship finished on that trip back to Yavin IV after we finished off Black Sun.See the "Say something nice about Jaina" thread.

Sincerely, Jacen

 

Dear Jade,

Ew! I don't like Zekk anymore. He was only my crush! I have the hots for Jagged Fel now....Now if only I could get him to join Rogue Squadron...

In Love w/ a Certain Imperial,
Jaina

 

Dear Mith'raw'nuado

Can I be cloned to serve in your military? It sounds so cool

-Needstofeellikehe'sacomplishedsomething

Dear Mitty

DUDE THE COMPLETE THRAWN IS ALIVE FICTION HAD YOU BETRAY PALPATINE!

THESE GUYS SUCK

-Mittyfan

P.S. This is nOT a blatant plug dude

Dear Mith'raw'nuado

Is it true you and Iceheart were smoking? How about you and Mara Jade? Maybe some cute Chiss chicks?

-Mittyfollower

Dear Thrawn

I want to join your family. Do you have a daughter or have an opening for an adopted son?

-Worshipfuladorer

 

Oh Jaina,
I'm sorry to hear ur not in love with me anymore!! I was going to ask u to come with me...never mind!! But I love u SOOO much!!
Zekk

Jacen,
Think that our relationship had ended I did not. I am sorry about whatever I did wrong, can we still continue our relationship. PWEETY PWEASE!?!?!?
Tenel Ka

 

Dear Needstofeellikehe'sacomplishedsomething

Send me your service record and I will then decide if you should be cloned or not.

Sincerely,
Thrawn

Dear MittyFan

I know, I'm currently reading it. Hopefully, these two authors won't kill me off.

Sincerely,
Thrawn

P.S. They don't suck.


Dear Mittyfollower,

The rumor you have heard is completely false. Please refrain from spreading this false rumor around.

Thank you,
Thrawn


Dear Worshipfuladorer,

No, you will not marry any of my children. Sorry, interspecies mating is not accepted in my household.

Sincerely,
Thrawn


Dear Star Wars Fans,

Please stop calling me Mitty. It's Mitth'raw'nuruodo or Thrawn.

Thank you,
Thrawn

 

Dear Thrawn,

Hey, can I be cloned too? Cloning would be a new experience for me, and I think it would be neat to have 2 mes running around.

Ireallyneedanewjobvacationisgettingtomyhead

Dear Thrawn,

You sure about the no interspecies mating thing?

Ireallyneedanewjobvacationisgettingtomyhead

 

Dear Han,

I know I sometimes come on a little strong, but is that restraining order really necessary? I LOVE YOU. I just wanted you to know that. *That* is why I broke into your home that time. How was I to know your wife would get so upset? And I resent the term "psychotic stalker", I prefer to be called a passionate devotee.

love you always and forever,

Yanksfan

p.s. remember, I meant what I said: I could give you wonderful FORCE-FREE children. Think it over.


Dear Leia,

I don't understand why you keep throwing out the chocolates I send you. And don't lie, I know you have because I routinely rummage through your dumpster looking for things your husband might have actually touched. *swoon*. But seriously, just try one. They're *delicious*. Would I lie? And while you're at it share them with your kids...and Mara too. I hate that b**ch.

Sincerely,

Yanksfan

 

Dear Yanksfan,

I can make sure you dissapear with no trace what-so-ever.

Sincerely, Leia

 

Dear Jacen,

Until you power your own superweapon/spacestation, I will continue to anger you. Now be a man and kick some Vong a%$

With love,

Red-gold03

 

Dear Anakin Skywalker,
Why do u have blue eyes in TPM and brown eyes in ROTJ??

Dear Anakin SOlo,
Don't u hate being named after Darth Vader?? I know I certainly wouldn't!!

Dear Tenel Ka,
make up with Jacen, he suits u!!

 

Dear Jade,

I wore colored contacts so that I could see better when I fly my pod, plus I like the color blue. That last crash didn't do to well for me. Now that I know how to use the force, I healed my eyes.

Sincerely,
Ani

Dear Jade,

I was named after my grandfather, Anakin Skywalker, not the man whom he became. I am proud to be named after Grandpa Skywalker.

Sincerely,
Ani

 

Grand Admiral Pellaeon,

Sir, I respectfully submit a plan that will enable the Empire to rise in statur and eventually engage the Vong forces under the banner of galactic defense.

A) Send a majority of the so called "Moffs" staight to moffell and leave them there.

B) Re-impliment the Imperial Senate with representatives from each planet.

C) Name Moff Serretti temporary President of the Senate until an election policy / law is worked out.

D) Tell the current leaders of the Republic, "Kiss Off, the Empire is back!" (perhaps this can be said in a more diplomatic effort)

E) Ram a few motions through the new Senate that allows increased spending for military defense and the development of industry. Suggest naming Captain Ardiff as envoy to the Imperial Chiss forces (and promote him to the rank of Vice Admiral).

F) Promote Major Teschel to the rank of Captain and give him your flagship, Chimaera.

G) Bring those ImpChiss forces back into the fold of the Imperial Fleet.

H) Highly encourage alien races to join with the Empire in the name of protection and openly welcome them into the new Imperial Senate.

I) Begin planning with Admiral Kre'fey(sp?) on a reprisal against Vong forces.

J) Let the Vong know, the Empire is back and its gunna kick some Vong @ss! (this should be said with devistating volleys of turbolaser fire)

Thank you Sir for considering my plan to restore the Empire to its rightfull place as a defender of the Galactic population.

<SALUTE>

Lance Jade

 

UP! This stuff is great!

 

Dear Tahiri,

Put some shoes on.

Love,
Muke

Dear Luke,

Name your kid Muke.

Love,

Muke

Dear Timothy Zahn,

Eat poop and die.

Love,

Muke

 

Dear Borsk,

If you're reading this, the package bomb failed to detonate. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Sincerely,
KansasNavy

 

dear corren and luke

Whould one of you please kick the sh!t out of Kyp he is really pissing me off. he's a little B!+ch who thinks he is the sh!t and thinks he is more powerful than you 2 so kick his A$$

 

Dear Pash Cracken,
My heaven, am I the only girl who appreciates you? The only one who has to worry about her relationships because no guy is you? The only one who tears her hair out three-way between you, Quatre Winner, and her boyfriend? (well, maybe those are just my choices) The only one who writes fan fiction where YOU get the girl, the glory, the happiness?
I am writing to say that someone truly cares what happens to you. Someone reads the books and forgets the main characters as she wonders how you're doing. Someone who wept when you resigned Rogue Squadron, because with it went your major role, dooming you forever to cameo appearances. Sadly, my darling, they refuse to write books about you. The one man who could keep up with Corran Horn without the Force, and not crash. That alone would have been the deciding factor, if it weren't for your personality. The few lines you were allowed to speak showed a kind of sarcasm, and a hint of sadistic humor that I find maddeningly attractive. How could I resist you?
I'm afraid I have made his letter far too long, but I just wanted you to know that someone out there loves you.
Sincerely,
Allya

 

Dear Rogue Squadron,

Where are you? We last saw you all in action during the Hand of Thrawn saga, and then you all retired... like sissys!!! Wedge and Tycho, I can understand, your married, you have families. But WES, HOBBIE and the rest of the crew, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? As just one of thousands, we miss you guys! Running your mouths, blowing away pirates (since we can shoot the Imps anymore) cracking horrable jokes. Come on! We need you back to bring more life to the Universe.

Thank you,

Lance Jade