Tucson Yet Another Star Wars Game to Play... STAR WARPS

"STAR WARPS" should be a fairly easy and (hopefully) fun game for people to play. It is the result of working alone for eight hours every day with very little human contact. The mind starts to wander... and I digress.
The rules are simple. Take any TV show, or radio show, or (non-STAR WARS) movie, and then... give it a STAR WARS touch. Simply list the NEW NAME of the show, followed by the original show title in parenthesis (if applicable). List what your new show is, i.e. comedy, drama, etc. , and a brief description of the show and/or episode.

That's it. You can any other details you want. If someone has already listed a "show" and you can think of a different "episode" to add to the "series", do it. This game is meant to be silly.

A couple of examples are called for:

STAR PORES
infomercial - Emperor Palpatine discusses his new line of cosmetics that he is making available to the public. Running time: 5 hours. Viewing is MANDATORY!


ANAKIN'S ISLAND (Gilligan's Island)
comedy - Takes place right after Obi-Wan takes Anakin as his padawan. In Episode one, they are shipwrecked along with six other passengers (a Gungan, a Hutt and his wife, a Kaminoan scientist, a Dantooine farmgirl, and a Fortuna dancing girl) on an island on an unknown planet. In Episode two, the survivers' numbers drop to seven as they discover that Gungan really does taste like chicken. Episode three finds Obi-Wan and Anakin in the Jedi hut, Obi-Wan is asleep in the upper hammock while in the hammock below Obi-Wan, Anakin is putting the finishing touches on his first lightsaber...
(sound of lightsaber igniting)
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! ANAKIN!!!"
"Sorry, master."


BROKEBACK JEDI (Brokeback Mountain)
movie - aaaah, let's not go there...

 

BROKEBACK JEDI (Brokeback Mountain)
movie - aaaah, let's not go there...

QFT!!!!

Although TK-2970 says that Brokeback Mountain is the story of what happened to the cowboy after the Village People.

OK, let's see if I can have a go at this:

The Wookionizer!

Got a not so fresh Wookiee companion? Just use this handy dandy ion particle cleaner to keep your Wookiee smelling fresh and looking clean. Great for those times when you are boarded by Imperials and when you need to impress a princess!

Made by Ronco. Order now for $19.95 and we'll include the smaller version - the Ewokionizer! Not for use on Gungans, Jawas or Sandpeople!

 

The Lord of the Universe: The Fellowship of the Saber

The Evil lord Sidious lost his saber in thee fight with Yoda, and with it his power. Hundreds of years later, a Jawa by the name of Damien finds it, and must destroy it by throwing it into the great Maw of Kessel. Damien is helped along the way by the Fellowship of the Jedi, which includes a Wookie named Jack, a Bounty Hunter named Frankie Fett, a Jedi named Jake, a Togruta named Cat, a Sith Wench named Hope, an ex-TIE pilot named Dustin, a smuggler named Tim, and his faithful gardner Sam. Together, all must fight off the forces of evil and destroy the saber and Palpatine forever.

 

But how does it end? I've got to know!

 

Galaxy Quest II: The Rise of Palpatine (Galaxy Quest)

Memorable quote:
"By Darth Bane's lightsaber, by the suns of Tatooine, I will conquer the galaxy!!" - Palpatine

 

Well, that is what The Lord of the Unvierse: The Two Suns is for.

 

"THIS OLD CYBORG" (This Old House)

Documentary - Darth Vader leads us on a weekly tour of how he keeps updating his mechanical body parts to improve their overall performance and the near-constant maintenance it takes to keep his body working at peak efficiency.

Broadcast on PBS - Palpatine Broadcasting System.

 

The Lord of the Unvierse: The Two Suns

Sequel to The Lord of the Unverse: The Fellowship of the Saber

The Fellowship has been dissolved. Tim fell protecting Cat and Hope at the Battle of Yavin Four. Jake fell protecting the rest of the Fellowship in the Mines of Kessel. Damien and Sam have left the Fellowship to continue the quest on their own, getting deeper and deeper into the galactic core, seat of Palpatine's evil. Meanwhile, Cat and Hope are catured by the forces of the traitor Vader, former Jedi. Frankie, Jack, and Dustin decide to rescue Cat and Hope, leaving Damien and Sam to fate.

 

Very nice.. I look forward to reading all of these.

 

BE-SITHED (Bewitched)

comedy - Ordinary guy meets beautiful girl, they marry, and on their wedding night she confesses that she is really a Sith Lord. Lots of "comedic" scenes as the two of them try to lead a "normal" life while he tries to avoid death chokes, lightning bolts, and lightsaber blows from her Sith Lord Master, Darth Endora.

 

The Emperor Knows best ( Father Knows Best )

Sit-Com Takes us into the life of the Emperor and what it takes to run an evil empire...ranging from overseeing the building of Death Stars & Star Destroyers to taking care of sick and battle injured Stormtoopers and just how funny it can be to force lightning the enemy

 

The Princess Sith

Darth Buttercup is kidnapped by the ebil Prince Owenhumperdink. Dread Pirate C-3P0 comes to her rescue.

 

To complete my trilogy, I present:

The Lord of the Universe: The Return of the Wookiee

Jack, Frankie, and Dustin have found Cat and Hope, and have overthrown the evil Vader, all with the help of Jake the White. The gang all head towards the fabled Coruscant, last free planet on the edge of Palpatine's Core. Once there, the group sees that a great battle has broken out between the forces of Coruscant and the Core. Meanwhile, Sam must save Damien from the clutches of Palpatine's forces, and both destroy the saber.

For the ending, highlight:

The Battle of Coruscant is a devastating blow for Palpatine's forces. With the victory at hand, Jack is revealed to be the fabled Wookiee that will rule Coruscant, and the rest of the Galaxy. Jack refuses the throne to Coruscant until Palpatine is destroyed. While is the Core, Damien and Sam destroy Palpatine's Saber, and bring peace to the Universe. Jack is crowned ruler of the Galaxy, and peace reigns for the rest of time. Damien, Sam, Dustin, Frankie, Cat, Hope, and Jake all return home. After some years, Jake, Damien, and the rest of the Jedi (BrotherHalo and Jedi_Knight_Birr) leave the Galaxy, becoming one with the Force.

 

BROWN ACRES (Green Acres)

comedy - A well-to-do (but not very bright) Gungan moves to Tatooine after buying a moisture farm, thinking it was full of water. He and his wife/mate decide to stay (I told you Gungans weren't very bright!), and make a go of the farm. Comedic sidekicks include: Jawa Haney, who is always trying to sell the Gungan something out of his sandcrawler; the farmhand, named Biggs; and Watto Drucker, owner of the general store.

 

Real Star (Real world)

Real time hidden camera and interview reality show that takes place over 6 years.

Our story starts out with Moff Tarkin completing (what is known as) the 1st death star, watch him deal with contractors, labor disputes, shipping problems, and uncorporating wookies. Later another main character arrives, the ?right hand? of the emperor, Darth Vader. Hilarity in sues as the local officers and officials ?mess? with Vader in his iron lung by pulling such classic pranks behind is back as: ?got your nose- Literally?, ?Oil up the stairs?, ?mechanical breakdown?, ?tazer fun with the sith lord?, and many more.
Second season, takes place right after the Hoth battle campaign. Watch as Snow Troopers battle bitter cold and try to warm up with the local wampa beasts. Tensions flair as we watch the repair crew try to fix an ionized star destroyer in record time as they attempt to capture the rebel forces fleeing Hoth.
Season 3 (pre-empted by Sabac grand champion tournament) was short but memorable.
Watch the excitement as we board Darth Vader own star destroyer The Executor. High excitement ensues as we watch a lowly ensign rise to captain through the ranks, as the Dark Lord chokes the ensign?s way to the top. Can he handle the command responsibilities? Will he be vaders next victim, watch all of season 3 to find out.

Coming soon: Box set # 1 and 2 DVDs include "behind the scenes", anatomy of a star destroyer, and space station, death of the last Jedi (previously unseen), Just who is the farm boy anyway that caused is so many problems?, Darth Vaders meal schedule, puree that!, and many more enthralling outtakes not suitable for viewing, such as "where is the rebel base princess", and punish the wookie, and what does a storm trooper wear under that armor, and how much damage can an astoriod really do?.

 

Full Deathstar (Full House)

Palpatine and Vader raise a family of stormtroopers and go through the trials and tribulations of everday life in the Deathstar.

 

Frightening Thought of the Day: Does this mean the stormtroopers are being played by the Olson CLONES?

 

"Depends" Discovery Health Channel Saturday Feb. 25th 8:00 pm (check local times and listings for your area)

Trial and tribulations of a Sith Lord: Darth Vader's battle with everyday tasks including using the bathroom in an iron lung.

 

Jedi Springer (Jerry Springer)

Leia appears on the show, explaining to Jedi Springer her story: she's in love with Han, but...there's another. Han then comes to the stage, gazing at his beautiful Princess girlfriend. "Okay, now Leia, tell Han why you brought him here today". Leia turns to Han, "Han, you know I love you. I would do anything for you, and the last thing I would want to do is hurt you. But..." Leia bows her head. "But sometimes I just need more...fur...than what you have." Han's face twists into a look of hurt and confusion. "Are you saying what I think you are saying?", Han asks, slowly pulling his chair away from hers. Leia looks up to Han as he stands, "It just happened", Leia pleads, "you were off on a smuggling run, and he was there...". Jedi Springer cuts in, "Let's bring out her 'other'---and I think we all know who this is!" The crowd gasps and calls as Chewbacca's huge furry frame appears from backstage. Han immediately runs to him, fists ready to go at it. Stormtrooper Steve and his clones rush the stage to try to break up the ensuing fight. Leia stands back, knowing what Chewie is capable of. Han grabs a chair only to be stopped by a clone trooper before he is able to use it. The stage is a mess of troopers, Han, and Chewie towers over them all. Chewie's growls and roars can be heard above the jeering/cheering of the crowd. One trooper can then be seen flying off the stage into the audience...

 

TO TELL THE TRUTH (To Tell The Truth)

A different kind of gameshow where the "contestants" are believed to have "certain information" vital to the Empire, and the "panelists" consist of Imperial Interogaters who use their own "unique methods" to extract the "information".
Not for the squeamish or the faint of heart.

 

GONE WITH THE SITH (Gone With The Wind)

An epic motion picture that centers on the life of a young woman, Scarlett O'Mara, in the days before, during, and after the Great Rebellion. Scarlett is desperately in love with a young man, Anakin Wilkes, but Anakin turns down her offers of love and instead, marries Padmelanie.
The war breaks out. Anakin leaves Padmelanie with Scarlett, and he goes off to fight in the Great Conflict. Scarlett refuses to let go of her love for Anakin, even though she is continually pursued by the good-looking rogue and smuggler, Lando Butler. The war eventually makes its way to Scarlett's plantation planet of Taraendor, where we find Scarlett trapped with a pregnant Padmelanie, and getting no help at all from Padmelanie's servant droid when Padmelanie goes into labor,"I'm sorry, I'm only a protocol droid, I was never programmed with any reference information as to the biological birthing techniques of infants of the human species."
With the Death Star igniting the surface of her plantation planet (they turned down the AMPS on the Death Star!), Lando Butler arrives in the nick of time to save Scarlett, Padmelanie, the babies (she had twins, SURPRISE!), and the near-useless droid. Unfortunately, Padmelanie never recovers from the trauma of childbirth and space travel, and soon dies. Anakin Wilkes, who has been wounded, returns home after the war ends, but now that he is again available, Scarlett O'Mara discovers that she doesn't like scar tissue (I mean some, yeah, but this guy's whole... well, what's left of his body is one big scab, and what is going on with that miniature Grand Canyon running down the back of his head?), and decides to take Lando Butler up on his long-standing offer of marriage. Lando, however, has other plans, having smuggled the kids away from their father (Anakin eventually finds them, but that's another story...), and tells Scarlett the marriage offer is null and void.
Bewildered and confused (you, too?) by all that has happened to her, Scarlett asks Lando, "But where will I go? What will I do?"
To which Lando Butler utters that immortal line,"Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn what George Lucas does with the sequels!"

running time: 1138 minutes

 

ROTFLMAO

You guys kill me

I'm still trying to figure out what to turn into a spoof of SW

But until then, keep writng...I can always use a good laugh

 

ohhhhh--ohhh--that gone with the sith!!! ohhhh--