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Beyond - Legends You installed a what? - One shot DT challenge response, Pash Cracken

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by InyriForge, Oct 30, 2005.

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  1. InyriForge

    InyriForge Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Title: You installed a what?
    Characters: Pash Cracken, Mouse, Staci
    Disclaimer: I do not own Star Wars. Still.
    Summary: Response to a challenge in which the following pilot-mechanic lines had to be used "Problem - dead bugs on windshield" - "Solution - Live bugs on backorder." Short little plot bunny thing set between Pash's wing's defection to the Alliance and the first X-wing novel.


    ?You know, I?m getting really sick of our mechanic.? A short, dark haired man sat down across from him at the table. ?You should see some of the stuff she leaves on my A-wing.?

    ?Secret admirer, Mouse?? Pash didn?t look up from the report he was reading.

    ?Hardly.? The other man snorted. ?So, last week, I left a note for her that my targeting computer is humming.?

    ?Yeah.? Pash still didn?t look up.

    ?They aren?t supposed to hum, Captain.?

    ?I?m aware of how targeting computers work, Mouse.?

    ?I wrote it up all nice, too. ?Staci, the targeting computer is humming.? That?s honestly what I said.?

    At the use of the word ?honestly,? Pash looked up. Mouse had a tendency to use ?honestly? when he wasn?t being honest at all. ?Really.?

    ?And she left me this note on the cockpit window.? He passed the piece of flimsy over.

    Pash unfolded it. In rather feminine handwriting ? it always surprised him that a woman like Staci would write in such a flowing way ? was written ?Problem: Targeting computer humming. Mechanic?s Solution: Reprogrammed targeting computer with lyrics.? He passed it back to Mouse. ?So, what song is the computer singing now??

    ?This really isn?t funny, Captain.?

    ?Staci strikes me as a hard rock type of girl,? he continued. ?Does the computer sing just one song, or does it have an entire repertoire??

    Mouse rolled his eyes. ?So, a few days ago, we came back from a practice run. I see her in the hanger and tell her there are dead bugs on my windshield.?

    ?Cleaning your windshield isn?t her job,? Pash pointed out.

    ?What, like it?s mine??

    For the thousandth time, he had to remind himself that these pilots were used to the standard Imperial operating procedure ? in other words, practically everything was done for them when they arrived to climb into their fighters. The Alliance, however, tended to do things a little differently. It wasn't really a choice, as they didn't have the resources or the support personnel the Imperials did. ?We don?t exactly have a large number of mechanics, Mouse. Because of that, little things like cleaning the windshield are going to fall to the pilots.? He reached for his caf, ?By the way, what did she say??

    ?She left me a note that said, ?Sorry about the dead bugs, Stan. The live ones are on backorder.?? He crossed his arms. ?I really hate being called Stan. Even ?Mouse? is better.?

    ?I thought you hated ?Mouse.?? Since the day they?d dubbed him ?Mouse? back at the academy, he?d complained about it. Pash would have thought using the man?s actual name would be a positive thing.

    ?Not as much as I hate ?Stan,?? Mouse griped. ?What did I ever do to her to deserve this treatment, anyway??

    Treating her like his personal slave would be a good starting point. ?Do you want me to talk with her about it?? Apologize to her was more like it.

    ?Yeah. I mean, there are certain things mechanics should do, Captain. She doesn?t do them. If she doesn?t start, then maybe??

    ?We?ll have Luke Skywalker choke her to death?? Pash supplied.

    Mouse reddened. ?I was thinking we could get a new mechanic.?

    ?Just as we don?t punish our mechanics in the traditional Imperial way, we also don?t expect them to do five times the work one Imperial mechanic did. Staci has to keep the entire wing running. That?s a hell of a lot more than twelve fighters. Not to mention that A-wings are just a bit more complex than your standard TIE fighter.? Pash paused to take another sip of his caf. ?Things that are just annoying, like your computer making odd noises, are not going to be high up on
     
  2. Valin_Halcyon

    Valin_Halcyon Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2005
    Just as funny the second time around. :D
     
  3. Killik_Swarm

    Killik_Swarm Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Oct 13, 2005
    Heh, this is funny. I saw it over at DT? but I never read it.

    Great job!

    KT
     
  4. VaderLVR64

    VaderLVR64 Manager Emeritus star 8 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2004
    Loved it! [face_laugh] [face_laugh] =D= =D=
     
  5. Jaina_Solo_15

    Jaina_Solo_15 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 5, 2002
    [face_laugh] Very cute! I love it. :)
     
  6. Reaver_Leona

    Reaver_Leona Jedi Knight star 1

    Registered:
    Oct 9, 2005
    Unfortuntely I'm not familiar with these characters at all, but you have made me want to know more. Mouse certianly deserved Staci's notes. Pretty demanding kind of guy.. I say she should let the cat stay. LOL

    Excellent viggie!
     
  7. DaenaBenjen42

    DaenaBenjen42 Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    May 15, 2005
    ?Good stars, what did you do to him??

    Staci shrugged sheepishly. ?I may have installed a cat in his cockpit.?



    [face_laugh]

     
  8. JadeSolo

    JadeSolo Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 20, 2002
    A cat?? [face_laugh] I hope it's a mushy one, and not one that would chase after a mouse...

    Lame, yes, I know. :p
     
  9. TheCrazyRodian

    TheCrazyRodian Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 3, 2004
    :)

    Excellent!
     
  10. JainaZekk_Index

    JainaZekk_Index Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2005
    LOL!! This was priceless.. I love your use of Pash, he's got such potential and is very forgotten.. excellent vig :D


    EDIT: Woops! Jade forgot to log out of the index sock... sorry, Jade_Max replying... Time to go fix it ;)
     
  11. InyriForge

    InyriForge Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Valin, :p Want to review everything here a second time and make me feel special? Jk.

    KT, glad you decided to catch it. :) And glad you liked.

    Thanks, VaderLVR

    JainaSolo15, thanks.

    Reaver_Leona, I?m glad you found it interesting. Pash Cracken is a character from the X-wing novels. The other two are OC?s. Pash is the son of the head of New Republic Intelligence.

    Daenabenjen, :)

    JadeSolo, eh, just as lame as me. The ironic thing is that I named the guy Mouse a long time ago (he?s from a different story) and for reasons unrelated to mice in general. And then I was writing this and that specific problem/solution seemed good for a cheesy end. And I love cheese.

    Thanks, CrazyRodian.

    Hey, JadeMax. Thanks. I like Pash a good deal; he?s got such an interesting background that you don?t find in the other characters. I enjoy writing about him.

    -No comment from the peanut gallery on what I did to him elsewhere. [face_devil]

    ~Inyri
     
  12. DreamingIce

    DreamingIce Jedi Knight star 3

    Registered:
    Aug 8, 2005
    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]
    That was was great Inyri! *hearts Pash*

    I have an entire list of those jokes at home, now their threatning to spawn plotbunnies for me too!

    ~Misha
     
  13. talkingbanana

    talkingbanana Jedi Master star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 2003
    Okay, so I definitely read this when it went up on DT a while ago -

    - and I JUST now got the cat/Mouse thing. :oops:

    [face_laugh]

    Great work, Inyri!

     
  14. jackyyy17

    jackyyy17 Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 12, 2006
    That was funny, I'm glad I found this *Thanks DaenaBenjen42 for sending the link*

    Humm a cat in his cockpit, thank might be intersting.

    Very good fic

    jacky
     
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