You might be a Jedi Redneck if......

Discussion in 'Richmond, KY' started by rogue11lovesjag, Jul 23, 2003.

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  1. rogue11lovesjag Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 2002
    star 4
    I thought this might be some enjoyment for those of us who are, in effect, Jedi Rednecks. ;) If you have any you'd like to add, please do. My favorite happens to be #31....because sandpeople DO back down from my mama.

    ~Rogue



    YOU MIGHT BE A JEDI REDNECK IF...

    1.) Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.

    2.) You use your lightsaber to open a non-twist-off bottle of Bud.

    3.) There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.

    4.) You use your lightsaber to pick your teeth.

    5.) At least one section of your X-Wing is Bondo colored.

    6.) You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.

    7.) You can't describe the taste of an Ewok without using the word chicken.

    8.) You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.

    ***

    10.) A peaceful meditation is one without gas.

    11.) You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE force.

    12.) Your master/mentor ever said "Hey, pull my finger..."

    13.) Your X-wing is up on blocks in your front yard.

    14.) You lost a hand during a lightsaber fight because you had to spit.

    15.) The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

    16.) Wookies are offended by your B.O.

    17.) You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

    18.) You use your lightsaber to clean fish.

    19.) Your father said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side... it'll be a hoot."

    20.) You use your R-2 unit's self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light.

    21.) The moonshine still you built on Endor is hidden so well even the Ewoks can't find it.

    22.) You have a stuffed womp rat over your fireplace.

    23.) You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

    24.) You think the symbol for the Rebel Alliance should be the Confederate flag.

    25.) More than half the droids you own don't function.

    26.) The number of blasters you own exceeds your I.Q.

    27.) You wonder why Luke and Leia never got married.

    28.) You used a carbon-freezing chamber to store the 78 Wampas you shot while on vacation on Hoth.

    29.) Your moonshine is really made on the moon.

    30.) You don't like wearing a Jedi robe because it prevents access to the dip stored in your back pocket.

    31.) Sandpeople back down from your mama.

    32.) You've ever used Jedi mind control to talk your way out of a speeding ticket or DUI.

    33.) You've ever strangled someone with the force because they laughed at your accent.

    34.) You built an outhouse over the Sarlaac.

    35.) You've ever argued with a Jawa over scavenging rights to a broken droid.

    36.) A Wookie has told you that you need to shave.

    37.) You have ever wrecked a landspeeder while lighting a cigarette with your lightsaber.

    38.) You don't think the Ewoks are primitive.

    39.) You think an AT-AT looks like a giant cow.

    40.) You don't think Jabba's pig guards have a hygiene problem.

    41.) You consider your lightsaber the ultimate bug zapper.

    42.) The Rancor monster refused to eat you.

    43.) You discover that your greatest enemy is, in fact, your father, who also happens to be your brother...

  2. DVDMaster Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 25, 2003
    star 4
    From an old list I had came these additions:
    1. You have ever used the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

    2. Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

    3. You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

    4. You have ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

    5. You have the doors of your X-Wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

    6. You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

    7. You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

    8. You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

    9. If you hear..."Luke< I am your father...and your uncle."
  3. rogue11lovesjag Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 2002
    star 4
  4. YodasQueen Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jun 9, 2003
    star 1
    OMG, those are funny!
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