You might be a redneck Jedi if...

Discussion in 'Washington, DC' started by Jack_T_Chance, Apr 19, 2004.

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  1. Jack_T_Chance Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 4
    So, people sometimes ask me, "Master Re-Kab, how can I tell if I'm a redneck Jedi?" So, I devised a little test to help people out...

    How to Know if You're a Redneck Jedi
    1. Your Jedi robe is a camouflage color.
    2. You have used your light saber to open and cook a can of pork and beans.
    3. You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
    4. At least one wing of your X-Wing fighter is primer-colored.
    5. There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder.
    6. You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder.
    7. You can easily describe the taste of Ewok.
    8. You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks.
    9. You think that the Stormtrooper Elite Guards are just KKK members with really good sheets.
    10. A peaceful meditation session is one without gas.
    11. You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not The Force.
    12. Your master has said, "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
    13. You have had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
    14. You have lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had to spit.
    15. The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
    16. Wookies are offended by your B.O.
    17. You have used The Force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
    18. You have used The Force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
    19. You have used a light saber to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
    20. Your father told you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
    21. You've had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to light a bar-b-que.
    22. You might be a redneck Jedi if you say, "Luke I am your father... and your brother."
  2. Jack_T_Chance Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 18, 2002
    star 4
    23. If you know Leia was your sister all along... ya might be a redneck Jedi! [face_laugh]
  3. MuttandSolo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 1, 2002
    star 4
    24. You have a big number 3 painted on the sides of your X-Wing.
  4. DarthDrew Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 26, 2002
    star 4
  5. beezel26 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 11, 2003
    star 7
    If you get upset when others say that Podracing isnt a sport. Yet you cant convince anyone why it is.



    You replace your R2s dome with a cooler for your beer. SO the beer can be cold all the time whereever you are.
  6. strangebehaviour Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2002
    star 6
    omg, beezel posted here!
  7. Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus

    Member Since:
    Sep 9, 2000
    star 4
    If you turn on your lightsaber and it plays the theme from The Dukes of Hazzard instead of making that hissing sound...
  8. MuttandSolo Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 1, 2002
    star 4
    ...or worse, the "Dueling Banjo" from Deliverance.


    *Shivers uncontrollably*
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