Niagara, ON "Young Jedi Niagara's Flying Circus"

John, Ian, this thread is for you. And for any other of you Monty Python fans out there. Come here and we can discuss our favourite skits, movies, and obscure quotes.
So come do a silly walk in here, grab a box of Whizzo Chocolates and get posting!

 

General: Right men, confuse the ... cat!

(Drum roll and cymbals. The curtains draw back and an amazing show takes place, using various tricks: locked camera, fast motion, jerky motion, jump cuts, some pixilated motion etc. Long John Silver walks to front of stage.)

Long John Silver: My lords, ladies and Gedderbong.

(Long John Silver disappears. A pause. Two boxers appear. they circle each other. On one's head a bowler hat appears, vanishes. On the other's a sterve-pipe hat appears. On the first's head is a fez. The stove-pipe hat becomes a stetson. The fez becomes a cardinal's hat. The stetson becomes a wimple. Then the cardinal's hat and the wimple vanish. One of the boxers becomes Napoleon and the other boxer is astonished. Napoleon punches the boxer with the hand inside his jacket. The boxer falls, stunned. Horizontally he shoots off stage. Shot of cat, watching unimpressed. Napoleon does one-legged pixilated dance across stage and off, immediately reappearinng on other side of stage doing same dance in same direction. He reaches the other side, but is halted by a traffic policeman. The policeman beckons onto the stage a man in a penguin skin on a pogostick. The penguin gets halfway across and then turns into adustbin. Napoleon hops off stage. Policeman goes to dustbin, opens it and Napoleon gets out. Shot of cat, still unmoved. A nude man with a towel round his waist gets out of the dustbin. Napoleon points at ground. A chair appears where he points. The nude man gets on to the chair, jumps in the air and vanishes. Then Napoleon points to ground by him and a small cannon appears. Napoleon fires cannon and the policeman disappears. The man with the towel round his waist gets out of the dustbin and is chased off stage by the penguin on the pogostick. A sedan chair is carried on stage by two chefs. The man with the towel gets out and the penguin appears from the dustbin and chases him off. Napoleon points to sedan chair and it changes into dustbin. Man in towel runs back on to stage and jumps in dustbin. He looks out and the penguin appears from the other dustbin and hits him on the head with a raw chicken. Shot of cat still unimpressed. Napoleon, the man with the towel round his waist, the policeman, a boxer, and a chef suddenly appear standing in a line, and take a bow. They immediately change positions and take another bow. The penguin appears at the end of the line with a puffof smoke. Each one in turn jumps in the air and vanishes. Shot of passive cat.)

 

MONTY PYTHON RULES!!!!!!!!!!!

"So logically...." "If she weighs the same as a duck...then she's made of wood" "and therefore...." "....a witch!"
"She turned me into a newt" "A newt?" "...it got better."

Hehe, I've got that whole scene memorized.

 

Coool, nice idea Nick!!!

My fav. movie is "The Meaning of Life".
Best Quote:
"how are you feeling today..."
"better"
"oh thats good"
"better get me a bucket, I think I'm guna throw-up"

And it also shows the exact way I want to die...To be chased to my death by 25-30 topless beauties.

*thinks to self..."why would I be running?"

 

Dennis More skit:

"She's bloody dying and all you bring us is lupins. All we've eaten mate for the last four bleeding weeks is lupin soup, roast lupin, steamed lupin, braised lupin in lupin sauce, lupin in the basket with saut~ed lupins, lupin meringue pie, lupin. sorbet... we sit on lupins, we sleep in lupins, we feed the cat on lupins, we burn lupins, we even wear the bloody things!"

 

*shakes head feeling shame for chris*

that's about all I can do about that. lol.

But anyways.....I wish I could see more monty python. I've only ever seen "Life of Brian", "Holy grail" and "And now for something completely different". I've also heard some of the skits on morpheus. I love the "Eric the half a bee song" and "fish lisence" and "argument".
I wanna see more! lol

 

Well all of the movies are superb: Holy Grail, Life of Brian, Meaning of Life, The Hollywood Bowl special

and of course, the Flying Circus episodes.



"Albatross! Albatross! Seagul-sicles! It's a bloody sea bird . .. it's not any bloody flavour. Albatross!"

 

I'm in a bad mood right now...this is to make me feel better;

"I one more time-a, unclog my nose in your direction, sons of a window-dresser!
I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second-hand electric donkey bottom biters!!!"


Ahhhhhhhh......Now I feel much better!!

 

*hangs head, rolling eyes at all of you*

What else is there really to say...

 

I burst my pimples at you, you tiny-brained wiper of other people's bottoms!

And now remain gone, illegitimate-faced bugger-folk! And if you think you got nasty taunting this time, you ain't heard nothing yet! Daffy English knigget!

 

I am assuming you were insulting me, but I didn't understand a stupid word you said...
maybe if you were speaking PLAIN english I would know if I should be trying to get even with you or not!

 

Well Debby,
You see, in your report here, it said that you are an extremely dull person.... ummmmmm...Our experts describe you as an appallingly dull fellow, unimaginative, timid, spineless, easily dominated, no sense of humour, tedious company, and irrepressibly drab and awful!!!!!

 

Oh that's nice

 

I just watched Hollywood Bowl. It was so funny. I've never actually seen the sketches (but I've heard them on morpheus). I was laughing so hard (except for the Wizzos one. I was grossed out by that one. lol).
Anyways, that's all I had to say.

 

Storyteller: (sitting with large children's book, at desk) Hello, Children, hello. Here is this morning's story. Are you ready? Then we'll begin.

(opens book; reads)

"One day Ricky the magic Pixie went to visit Daisy Bumble in her tumbledown cottage. He found her in the bedroom. Roughly he gabbed her heavy shoulders pulling her down on to the bed and ripping off her..."

(reads silently, turns over page quickly, smiles)

"Old Nick the Sea Captain was a rough tough jolly sort of fellow. He loved the life of the sea and he loved to hang out down by the pier where the men dressed as ladies..."

(reads on silently; a stick enters vision and pokes him; he starts and turns over page)

"Rumpletweezer ran the Dinky Tinky shop in the foot of the magic oak tree by the wobbly dumdum bush in the shade of the magic glade down in Dingly Dell. Here he sold contraceptives and ... discipline?... naked? ..."

(without looking up, reads a bit; then, incredulously to himself)

"With a melon!?"

Listen to the original

 

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Eric Idle: Very passable, isn't it? Very passable.

All: Right, all right.

Graham Chapman: Good glass of Chateau de Chasselet, ain't just that, sire?

Terry Jones: Oh, you're right there, Obadiah.

Graham Chapman: Right.

Eric Idle: Who would have thought, thirty years ago, we'd all be sitting here drinking Chateau de Chaselet, eh?

All: Aye, aye.

Michael Palin: Them days we were glad to have the price of a cup of tea.

Graham Chapman: Right! A cup of cold tea!

Michael Palin: Right!

Eric Idle: Without milk or sugar!

Terry Jones: Or tea!

Michael Palin: In a cracked cup and all.

Eric Idle: Oh, we never used to have a cup! We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!

Graham Chapman: The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

Terry Jones: But you know, we were happy in those days, although we were poor.

Michael Palin: Because we were poor!

Terry Jones: Right!

Michael Palin: My old dad used to say to me: "Money doesn't bring you happiness, son!"

Eric Idle: He was right!

Michael Palin: Right!

Eric Idle: I was happier then and I had nothing! We used to live in this tiny old tumbled-down house with great big holes in the roof.

Graham Chapman: House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twenty-six of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling.

Terry Jones: You were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in the corridor!

Michael Palin: Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us! We used to live in an old watertank on a rubbish tip. We'd all woke up every morning by having a load of rotten fish dumped all over us! House, huh!

Eric Idle: Well, when I say a house, it was just a hole in the ground, covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us!

Graham Chapman: We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in a lake!

Terry Jones: You were lucky to have a lake! There were 150 of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road!

Michael Palin: A cardboard box?

Terry Jones: Aye!

Michael Palin: You were lucky! We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper in a septic tank! We used to have to get up every morning, at six o'clock and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill, fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, for six pence a week, and when we got home, our dad would thrash us to sleep with his belt!

Graham Chapman: Luxury! We used to have to get up out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot gravel, work twenty hours a day at mill, for two pence a month, come home, and dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!

Terry Jones: Well, of course, we had it tough! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox in the middle of the night, and lick the road clean with our tongues! We had to eat half a handful of freezing cold gravel, work twenty-four hours a day at mill for four pence every six years, and when we got home, our dad would slice us in two with a breadknife!

Eric Idle: Right! I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill and pay millowner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves, singing Hallelujah!

Michael Palin: Aah. And you trying to tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you!

All: No, no they won't!

 

Click!

 

John, I HAD to post this, seeing as you're our "boss" and all:Click!