Before Young Qui-Gon Fic: Repercussions - COMPLETED! Thanks for the Awards!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Layren, Jan 4, 2004.

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  1. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Well everyone this is my first really big project. I have been working on this little baby of mine since May 2003 with greencat and we are quite pleased to finally be able to post the first little segement. Much more will follow shortly :)


    Title: Repercussions

    Authors: Layren and Greencat336

    Rating: Strong PG for violence- no language and brief nudity. Non-slash.

    Category: Angst Hurt/Comfort

    Archive: Sure, just let us know where.

    Disclaimer: We don't own the Jedi. Layren owns Kyran Josel. Other original characters can be divided up among Layren, Jalei, and Greencat. Please ask before using their characters.

    Special Thanks to Jalei for working with us in the beginning and helping us create Devin. We really appreciate all your hard work!

    Special Thanks also to Durhelediel for letting us borrow Jayla Bro?ak and have fun with her :-D

    Author's Note: Thanks to Cassia and Siobahn for letting us borrow a few lines from their fic "The Hunted" which originally gave Layren the idea for this fic. We really appreciated it guys!

    // means telepathy.

    Qui-Gon is in his late twenties.

    Prologue:


    The young girl chatted happily about the art exhibit they had just come from. Qui-Gon Jinn smiled at her enthusiasm. They had decided to walk back to the Temple, rather than take an airbus. It was a bit of a distance for the fourteen-year old, but it seemed a good way to channel the boundless energy the girl seemed to generate.

    Qui-Gon had been a bit hesitant to take on the responsibility of caring for his best friend Kyran's Padawan while he was away on a mission deemed too dangerous for the young Padawan. But Kyran had insisted. 'Let you get in some practice before the real thing,' Kyran had joked, since Qui-Gon was considering the possibility of taking on a Padawan of his own. Qui-Gon had to admit, Kyran had been right. He'd very much enjoyed the past week, teaching the eager young teen. Perhaps he was ready to take on the responsibility of a Padawan of his own.

    "And the way you could smell the colors! We read about pheromone use in art, but I'd never . . . Master Jinn, do you feel that?" she interrupted herself.

    Qui-Gon frowned, sensing the disturbance in the Force, putting his hand on his lightsaber hilt. "Stay close to me, Jayla"

    Something hard struck him in the back of the head, knocking him dazed to the sidewalk. A sharp stabbing pain in his arm quickly followed. As the world twisted and tilted, he heard a cold voice remark triumphantly, "Revenge is mine."

  2. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    A good start. I liked that the young one is so enthusiastic about art (the pheromones in art was a cool idea) and that Qui-Gon was enjoying himself. Is this before Xanatos?

    Looking forward to more.
  3. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Diane,

    Wow such a prompt reply. To answer your question yes this is before Xanatos. This is even before his very first padawan whoever that was as some places still maintain that Qui-Gon trained three. We have lots of OC's that I hope you'll enjoy :)
  4. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    No prob. So Qui-Gon is a fairly young Knight then. He had three (according to the Ep. 1 Visual dictionary) Padawans if you include Obi-Wan.
  5. female_obi_wan Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 1, 2002
    star 3
    Yay I found it!

    Now where's the rest...;)
  6. Qui-Gina-Jinn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2003
    star 4
    Nice, nice - heh, but you already know ;)
  7. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    Thanks everyone!

    Layren should be along with the next part soon.
  8. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Indeed I shall! Here is more for your enjoyment!


    Chapter One:
    Qui-Gon blinked against the bright lights. He tried to sit up, but discovered that he barely had the strength to raise his head. Forcing his eyes to focus on his surroundings, he realized he was in the Healers ward. But where was his friend's padawan? In a raspy voice, he called out, "Jayla?"

    Kyran looked up from where he'd been pacing. Qui-Gon was finally coming around and it was about time. He had several questions that needed answering. His padawan was missing and Qui-Gon was the only one who would know what had happened to the girl. He peered over his friend. "No. It's me. "

    "Where's Jayla?"

    Kyran tried hard not to sigh but failed. "Perhaps you can answer that for me. What happened Qui-Gon?"

    "We were returning from an art exhibit at the Karhneige Gallery. I was hit from behind and then something stabbed me in the arm. There was a voice, and I passed out. Jayla, what happened to Jayla?" Qui-Gon struggled to sit up.

    Kyran gently pushed his friend back and bit his lip, worry evident on his face. "I don't know. She's missing. Did you recognize who took her? The voice? Anything at all? If you can figure out who took her then I can go after her." Kyran replied earnestly


    Qui-Gon concentrated on his memory of the encounter, replaying the voice's brief taunt over and over. "I think I know who it was. A woman named Aldeim. She was the leader of a ring of smugglers and slavers I helped break up about a year ago. Most of them were captured, but she escaped."

    Kyran swore quietly. Slavers. That was just what he needed. His next question had a hard quality to it that he'd never directed at his friend before. "Do you remember if they said what they planned to do with Jayla when they took her?"

    "Revenge," Qui-Gon whispered, horrified as the full realization hit him. He had let his best friend's Padawan fall into the hands of a ruthless criminal. ?She must have seen us together and assumed Jayla was my Padawan.?

    Kyran's stomach twisted. His padawan was missing because some two-credit pirate wanted to get back at the Jedi. "I'm going to find her." He announced tersely.

    "I'm going with you. I know Aldeim, I found her once, I can find her again." Qui-Gon drew on all of his strength, managing to sit up.

    Kyran pushed his friend back. "No. You're not coming. I don't need your help. You were poisoned Qui-Gon. If not for a passerby you would've died. She commed for Emergency Medical Services after she found you passed out in the middle of the street. You're in no shape to be doing anything but keeping the staff here busy."

    Qui-Gon tried to resist the steady pressure of Kyran's hands, but was unable to find the strength to do so. "It?s my fault that she was taken. I should help to get her back."

    Kyran frowned deeply at that. "Not entirely. However..." His voice took on a hard tone. "You took her out of the safety of the Temple and she was kidnapped within walking distance. You know how dangerous Coruscant can be for young Jedi. Why weren't you more careful?"

    Qui-Gon flinched as if he'd been slapped. "Kyran . . . I-I-I'm sorry. I should have been more aware of my surroundings."

    "Sorry won't change the past, Qui-Gon. If you tell me everything you can about Aldeim, I'll start looking." Kyran tried hard to curb his frustration and anger, but with the worry for his apprentice he wasn't very successful.

    Qui-Gon had been friends with Kyran since he was a child in the crèche and Kyran a young initiate. In all that time, even in their worst arguments, Kyran had never directed such cold anger towards him. But then, Qui-Gon thought bitterly, he had never done something so unforgivable as allow his friend's Padawan to come to harm, either. With a deep breath to help keep his voice steady, he began listing everything he knew about Aldeim's habits, known associates, and weaknesses.

    Kyran knew he had to get hold of his anger or that would be his undoing. He took several deep breaths and tried to calm himself. He knew it wasn't
  9. Qui-Gina-Jinn Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 2, 2003
    star 4
    Even more nice - but still, you already know ;) :D
  10. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Qui-Gon STOLE the ship!!!! Oh, he's in such trouble! Just wait til Yoda gets hold of him. Wow, Qui is a bit reckless in his youth.

    Good job.
  11. BecJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 27, 2003
    star 3
    Lol...good work, Layren. I like how fast paced this is. :) The action is written very well and...I love the humour! :D Trust Qui-Gon to STEAL a ship. The interaction between him and Kyran is great; very enjoyable and funny to read. The only thing I could recommend is that you expand more on your first post. Qui being knocked out seems so sudden and we barely get to know Jayla. But you make it so easy to read, it doesn't feel thrown out by not having much of a peaceful intro. :) Poor Qui. He's gonna get his be-hind whipped when they get back, isn't he?! Yeah...what is going to happen...? :eek: I hope they don't...kick Qui-Gon out. :( *squeak* Well, I'll just have to see. Post soon, PLEASE! :D Love ya work, dude! :D
  12. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    *grin* Actually what you are reading IS the expanded version. In the first drafts everything we are currently posting was orginally summed up in a short dream sequence and a few paragraphs of exposition from Qui-Gon. Hopefully we will be able to give you a better feeling for Jayla and Kyran in the coming posts.

    Glad you like the action scenes, they are one of the hardest parts for Layren and I to write.

    As for what happens to Qui when he gets back to the Temple . . . well, you'll get the full version soon, but safe to say the Council lets him know that they are not very happy. ;)

    Thanks for the feedback!
  13. Charmisjess Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 31, 2003
    star 3
    Okay, well, even though i've already looked over this, i'll still writecha a leettle reviewskies. :D
    Ah, what can I say Miss Laurie? I already told ya I like it. Like Roo said, I think you could have gone into a bit more detail at the beginning, but if very good. Keep at it, girly girl! whee! Update?
    jess :)
  14. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Hello Everyone! I am glad you are all enjoying this so far.

    Diane,

    Yes Yoda will have his hide once he gets back...as will the rest of the Jedi Council.... :D

    BecJedi
    They can't kick him out before TPM silly :) this isn't an AU :D

    Jess,

    Thanks so much for your continued support! I really hope you like the next post.. edited with your suggestions :)



    Repercussions

    When we last saw our heroes, Qui-Gon had stolen a starship from the Temple hangers to recklessly throw himself into a rescue mission.

    Chapter Two


    The two ships landed next to each other at the Jedi Temple. A team of healers, alerted by Kyran's call, rushed forward as soon as his ship lowered its ramp. Taking the injured Padawan from Kyran's arms, they placed her on a stretcher and rushed her off in the direction of the Healers' Ward.
    Qui-Gon slowly headed down the ramp of his borrowed ship, limping slightly. He tucked his arms into his sleeves as he came to stand next to Kyran who was glancing anxiously in the direction of the Healer's ward.

    Yoda was approaching, followed by three grim faced knights. The look on Yoda's face was enough to make Qui-Gon's blood run cold. "Go on, Kyran. See to your Padawan." whispered Qui-Gon.

    Without further comment Kyran turned and left, rushing after the Healers, leaving Qui-Gon alone to face the Jedi Councilor.

    Yoda narrowed his eyes as he studied Qui-Gon. The tall knight before him stood straight, eyes focused on the horizon. Yoda recognized this posture from his grand-padawan. It meant that Qui-Gon had done something that he knew was going to make those around him very angry, but that he felt was necessary. Well, he had crossed the line too far this time to get nothing more than a verbal reprimand. "To your quarters you will go. Remain there until summoned by the Council. Escort you there, they will."

    It took all of Qui-Gon's concentration not to take a step back away from the small master hearing the fury in his voice. He bowed deeply. "As you wish, my Master."

    Qui-Gon turned, limping towards his quarters. The three knights fell into formation around him, two on both sides and one behind. They said nothing. As they walked through the halls, those they passed fell silent and stared. There was no doubt that Qui-Gon was under guard. For a Jedi within the Temple to be so treated was almost unheard of. At long last, they reached Qui-Gon's quarters. Two of the guards took up position outside of his door. The third said in a flat tone, "I will return when the Council is ready to see you."


    Qui-Gon's stomach was in knots as the reached his quarters. He nodded to the guard and as he hesitated briefly to go inside his quarters. It was clear that they were there to make certain he stayed put locked in his room. He sighed deeply. /Well what else did you expect Jinn? You ran off in the middle of the night, stole a ship without telling anyone where you were going./ Might as well get cleaned up and get ready to face the consequences for his actions.

    Qui-Gon sighed again as he stepped into the shower and turned the hot water up. He needed to relax. His shoulder muscles were tight from tension. He had not expected the harsh anger in Yoda's voice as he directed him to his room. He knew that the other master would be upset. Yoda had been upset with him before, but it had never been this bad. Qui-Gon wondered just what the Council would do with him. And Kyran. His friend seemed even more upset with him than Yoda. His stomach churned even more at the thought.



    Feeling no better for having cleaned up, he stepped out of the shower and toweled off. He headed to the kitchen after changing into fresh clothes and put water on for tea. He tentatively reached for the link that he shared with Kyran intending to try to get the other to at least talk to him. //Kyran?//

    //What?//
    The reply was sharp.

    Qui-Gon winced at the sharpness of Kyran's reply. It threw him off and he wasn't quite sure how to respond to it. //I'm sorry. I
  15. Stridarious Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Nov 27, 2002
    star 6
    [face_shocked] I finally have time to read it! 8-}

    Thanks for the reminders Layren, I truely love [face_love] this Fan Fic, and all that is therein ;) . I have also decided to save it to a word document to share with others, you will become a great writer I forsee :D .
  16. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    As I do so humbly thank everyone for their replies I must also point out that I had help on this fic :D *points to greencat standing in the corner* This project is just as much hers and without her it would not have been written......Let's all give her a big round of applause for sticking with me through this sucker... *cheers madly*....
  17. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
  18. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Good. Qui-Gon needs to learn that he can't go off stealing ships when "he" feels the need. There are other ways.
    I liked that Yoda was there to meet him and show how badly his actions were viewed. And that his friend wouldn't talk to him either!

    I liked that the Padawan understands better than Kyran.

    Looking forward to seeing what they are going to do about our rebellious Knight....
  19. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Jenny, Poor Qui-Gon indeed. It was his own fault you know. He knew that he was doing wrong when he snuck out but he did it anyway :D Now he's paying the price. Welcome aboard! Hope you enjoy the rest!

    Diane, I doubt if Qui-Gon truly ever learns that he can't go doing things like that :D
  20. Jenny_The_Jedi_Girl Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 16, 2001
    star 4
    Yeah, but a true friend wouldn't disown you like quigon's friend has :mad:
  21. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Jenny Kyran hasn't disowned him .. yet. He's just trying to get Qui-Gon to see how reckless he was...don't hate him too much. He more than pays for it.
  22. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Hello faithful readers. Here is yet another installment of our fic. I'm so glad y'all are enjoying this.

    Repercussions

    When we last saw our Jedi, Qui-Gon was locked in his room until punishment could be determined from the Council.

    Chapter Three


    It was mid afternoon when the guard appeared, again. He had come first thing in the morning, escorting the droid that brought him several meal packs. Not particularly appetizing, but filling and nutritious. Now the two who had stood watch on his door flanked the guard. "Its time. The Council will see you now."

    Qui-Gon's stomach churned as he put down the novel he'd been reading and smoothly stood. Somehow he knew this was going to turn out bad. Imagine that, he thought darkly as they walked. He tucked his arms into his robes and tried to maintain an air of graceful dignity even though it was obvious to everyone who saw him that he was under guard.

    ******



    His Padawan sleeping soundly in the care of the healers, Kyran headed back towards his rooms for a quick shower and change of clothes, the first time since returning with Jayla yesterday. He had refused to leave her side until the Healers had finally chased him out. He was almost there when he was passed by Qui-Gon, escorted by three guards. Kyran knew that the Council was displeased with Qui-Gon, but guards? His shock was quickly followed by the thought, perhaps now Qui-Gon will stay where he is supposed to be. Kyran ruthlessly suppressed the guilt that flared up at that thought. Qui-Gon was turning his head towards him, face serene, but eyes seemed to be begging for understanding. Kyran frowned. Whatever trouble Qui-Gon was in, it was because he refused to believe anyone else knew anything except him.

    Qui-Gon felt his face warm slightly as Kyran turned away from him. His best friend had seen the kind of trouble he was in and he still didn't have any sympathy for him. Of course he doesn't, Qui-Gon thought bitterly. You let his padawan get kidnapped. Qui-Gon felt vaguely like he might be sick. He reflected that it was a good thing he hadn't eaten what the guard had brought him for lunch. He took a deep breath, centering himself as best he could, then stepped inside the Council chambers.

    "Knight Qui-Gon Jinn. You are called before the Jedi Council to answer several very serious charges. ? said Yarrel Poof.

    "You are being accused of stealing a starship from the Temple Hangers. Disobeying orders to remain in the Healers' Ward. Unauthorized interference in another Jedi's mission, to the possible endangerment of both that Jedi and his Padawan. How do you respond to these charges?"

    Qui-Gon flinched inwardly at the list. He knew all of the charges were correct and he had done every one of them. "I am guilty as charged, my masters. However, I do ask that you listen to the reasons behind my actions."

    "Listen we will, then decide your fate." Yoda said.

    Qui-Gon swallowed hard at the coldness in Yoda's tone. " As you know, I was responsible for Padawan Bro?ak's welfare while Master Josel left on his own mission. While we were walking she was forcefully taken from my care. Duty demanded that I go do everything I could to try to help. I could not in good conscience sit and wait knowing that there was something I could do to assist."

    "I was aware of Aldeim's movements and location more so than Master Josel. I know her habits down to the last vice. Since she took Padawan Bro?ak in attempt to get revenge against me, I knew it was likely the padawan would be injured. I knew that with an injured apprentice it would be extremely difficult for Master Josel to rescue her on his own.?

    "And yet Master Josel was able to track her down. According to the report he submitted, he had already found her location when you joined him. While he does acknowledge your assistance in Padawan Bro?ak?s rescue, he also stated that he had to leave her to retrieve you. There is no reason to believe that Master Josel would not have been able to rescue his own Padawan. Your presence was a
  23. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Good punishments. Qui-Gon does need to think about his actions before running off and stealing a ship!

    But Kyran needs to cut Qui-Gon some slack. He was worried about the Padawan.

    Good job on this.

  24. Bekah_K Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 3, 2002
    star 4
    This is really good Layren!

    I came across this today and thought I'd check it out.

    I can understand both sides, Kyran and Qui-Gon's. Qui's punishment suits him well, but I think Kyran needs to lighten up somewhat in his anger towards his friend - he's hurting and angry because he almost lost the two people he cares about the most. And when he thought one was safe and that was one less he'd have to worry about, he turns around and there's the very person he thought was out of sight, out of mind for the time being. Then he was in the position of looking out for both of them again, and facing the possible loss of his friend a second time around. I think his friendship and his feelings toward Qui are as strong as they've ever been if not stronger, but the mixed emotions he's dealing with are creating a barrier around his heart.

    Sorry, I tend to ramble sometimes. 8-}

    Good job!


    ~Bek
  25. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Bekah, Welcome aboard! Glad you're enjoying the fic! Kyran is here with me and very happy that someone FINALLY understands his point of view :D He nearly lost the two people closest two him. One of which could have been prevented... Qui-Gon was reckless and rushed right into things that could've gotten him killed. So yes Kyran is a bit upset. Anyway, greencat and I have had immense fun working on this so both of us are grateful that our readers are liking this. It's going to get even worse before it gets better ;) But it WILL get better.....just stick with us :D As for the rambling feel free! That's what we're looking for :D

    Diane, Glad you thought the punishment fit the crime. We were trying not to be too lenient with him and trying to get Qui-Gon to stay put is difficult you know :) Yes Kyran needs to cut him a bit of slack but consider things from his point of view...if Qui-Gon had gotten killed while coming to his aide when he really didn't need help....it would've been on his conscience the rest of his life....
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