Before Young Qui-Gon Fic: Repercussions - COMPLETED! Thanks for the Awards!!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Layren, Jan 4, 2004.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
  1. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Kynstar . I'm very upset at the moment with hubby but you helped brighten my day ;) Thanks for the great review. I'm glad you enjoyed it. Of course Qui-Gon couldn't've killed him. He woulda gotten kicked out if he had you know.
  2. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Uh oh! Upset with hubby? [:D] Hopefully not too terribly upset?
    Yeah I know he'd been kicked out... but arg!! sometimes the Code can be such a stickler sometimes... wait what am I saying? sometimes? All the time! hehehe :D Glad I was able to bring a smile to ya face! 'Tis what I do best :D

    (edit: Ack forgot the 's' in the 'face_hugs' code *snrk*)
  3. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    A deep and sincere thank you to all of you who read our story. I hope that you enjoyed it as much as Lauren and I enjoyed writing it.

    As promised (threatened??) here is a bit of silliness about what happens after the story is over.


    ?I?ll take a card?

    ?None for me.?

    ?Raise five.?

    ?Call.?

    ?Sabacc!?

    ?Spit and Hades.?

    Lauren laughed at Greencat, despite the fact she had lost too. ?I warned you Kyran was good at Sabacc.?

    ?Yeah, yeah. Is there any coffee left?? Greencat wandered into Devin?s small kitchen while Kyran dealt the next hand. She didn?t like to lose, but so long as there was a steady supply of strong coffee, she could tolerate it.

    ?Its called kaf in this universe,? Qui-Gon said, with a grin. ?Aren?t you the one that gets so nitpicky about details and continuity in a story. Driving Lauren crazy with all your demands to rewrite stuff a half dozen times.?

    "He's got you there," teased Lauren, tossing her ante into the middle of the table. "It's not just the rewriting that bothered me. It was the editing, re-editing and re-editing the re-edits . . . and all because I didn't have a thesaurus handy and you didn't like a particular word I used. Just one word! Would that have been so bad?!"

    "Yes," said Greencat, pouring cream into her coffee. Okay, she sighed to herself. Pouring cream into her kaf. "Different words create different conatation."

    "Connotation." Lauren corrected. "For being a teacher you sure don't spell very well."

    "Embarrassing, but true. Good thing I have you around for that," laughed Greencat as she sat back down, throwing in her ante.

    "There's also the spell check in Microsoft Word," Lauren said snorting. "Ever heard of those?"

    "As Mark Twain said, its someone with a very limited imagination that can only spell a word one way," said Greencat in mock seriousness.

    "I don't think Mr. Bill Gates would take kindly to you calling him someone with a limited imagination," Lauren remarked after swallowing a sip of her ice cold drink.


    Greencat shrugged. "I think Bill has other things to be concerned about more."

    ?I still can?t believe Repercussions is done. We worked on it for more than a year,? said Lauren, studying the cards in her hand.

    ?I can?t believe what you put us through. What kind of twisted mind does that to characters they like?? complained Qui-Gon.

    ?I?ve asked myself the same question. The short answer ? ?

    Greencat paused for a moment at the muttered comment from Devin, ?As if you have ever given a short answer in your life.?

    ?The short answer is I?m fascinated by putting you all through such horrible things, but you never abandon your basic beliefs. And of course, there?s the mush. Can?t have any comfort and mush if nothing awful has happened.?

    ?I think you?re still a pair of very twisted minds,? said Kyran.

    ?Yes,? agreed Greencat. ?No doubt about that.?

    ?So what are we going to do next? We have all those half written stories, like the cult fic and Secrets. And of course there?s the plot bunny Chris-Stacina-Rajinn gave you, where we torture Devin.? Asked Lauren.

    ?Torture Devin? That?s a terrible idea. I thought Lauren had taken up writing humor stories. Can?t you do something like that?? pleaded Devin.

    ?What about that humorous commentary idea of Diane?s? The one where we write about us sitting around afterwards discussing writing the story and a little about ourselves,? asked Lauren.

    ?Do you really think our faithful readers, like Kynstar, jeday, Charmisjess and the others will have any interest in that? Who cares if your married or that I?m a high school history teacher?? Greencat looked at the card she just added to her Sabacc hand and frowned. ?I can?t believe you dealt me this, Josel.?

    ?Tim cares about me being married,? said Lauren. ?I?ll take a card, Kyran. And I think it might be fun.?

    ?What about the fact that you are a liberal agnostic and Lauren?s a conservative Christian?? commented Devin, indicating to Kyran that he also wanted another card.

    ?So?? asked Gree
  4. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Hehehhehe. that was rather fun to write wasn't it? And very silly too. I still can't believe the story is totally finished. I put up the remaining chapters at fanfiction.net today.
  5. Kynstar Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 2, 2004
    star 5
    Oh man! That was great! *snrk* hehehehehe :D

    Playing cards with the guys... hmmm bad thoughts juz went through my head! Ayi! :eek: Bad thoughts! Shame on me! [face_blush] hehehehehe Well... with Qui who couldn't have bad thoughts? *snrk*

    Ahhh so the boys gonna get a town upset with them, eh? And *ears perk up* did you mention my sweetie!! Dooku?? [face_love] Woo-hoo! (*snrk* that rhymed hehehehe)

    Looking forward to it! And you two should let them guys rest some time! ;) hehehe Great lil humor afterward something we all need from time to time! :D
  6. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Btw, I forgot to post this here.. My hubby got the job he interviewed for :) So we're moving to chattanooga, TN in mid-august. :D
  7. jeday Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jan 4, 2004
    star 2
    Back from holidays and I find this great story finished. :eek: :D
    Liked the last part [face_laugh], and I am in it!! :D
    Looking forward to the sequel. [face_love]
    And Lyren that's good news! :) What's chattanoga like?

  8. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Jeday Welcome back from vacation! Glad to see you :) Hehehehe glad you liked the last part. We didn't know if anybody else would be interested in that little bit of insanity we wrote hehee. Glad you enjoyed it ;) It's not a sequel, actually. It takes place when Qui-Gon is around 18 and still an apprentice ;) But keep an eye out for it just the same :)

    Chattanooga has tons of mountains and things like that in the area. It's a really neat town. It's about as big maybe a bit smaller than Huntsville, AL where I grew up and it's only an hour and a half from there, which is lots closer than the three and a half hour drive I have currently. I really look forward to moving ;) Will keep y'all abrest of the move if you want later on :)


    Btw, my husband printed the non-edited with all the scenes including ones that got left on the cutting room floor and the grand total for this fic was 217 pages and 85,825 words :D Just thought I'd share ;) Again, thanks for reading! I really appreciate you leaving so many comments for us!! Thanks again!
  9. dianethx Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2002
    star 6
    Also back from the holidays. Glad to see that everything worked out in the end. I could have just pictured you two turning this into an AU and having Qui kicked out! Nay... too easy.

    Thanks for the afterwards commentary. It was quite amusing. I certainly can understand the edits and reedits and the edits on top of that - all for one word. Hey, words are important, especially the ones that need to be just right....LOL.

    Looking forward to your next project. Great job.
  10. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Diane Nice to see you back sweetie! I've missed ya! [:D] I hope you had a very good vacation :) Three weeks is a long time to be gone. Just the other day I was asking Shaindl about you ;)


    Of course it worked out! Stop giving me evil plot bunnies, Diane! I have enough without that one you just gave me ;)

    Hehehe. You're quite welcome for it. It came much easier than I expected cause I got to be "myself" instead of somebody else lol. Even though we did edit and re-edit a few times .. *shakes head*

    I've got several joint things I started with my padawan up now that should hold you in the meantime ;) It'll be awhile before our new idea is ready for posting :D Thanks SO much for reading this from start to finish.. it means a whole lot to me that you've been here from the very beginning. Thank you!! [:D] and congrats on your awards!!
  11. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    Glad that jeeday and Dianethx rejoined us and thanks for the kind words about the card game.

    Layren and I started the next story with the boys. Its the one Chris-Stacina_Rajinn suggested, when she wondered how Devin would react to the type of abuse Layren and I put Qui and Kyran through.

    This one will be much shorter than Repercussions, so with any luck it will be done and posted in October or November.

  12. Xaara Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 30, 2002
    star 3
    Since I promised to review and then forgot ([face_blush]), I first extend my congratulations to both of you for your completion of the story. I know from experience how hard it is to write an entire novel-length fic, and you've done a wonderful job.

    The characterization is spot-on throughout the entire story, and as Kyran's interviewer, I can tell you that I especially enjoyed him. His relationship with Qui-Gon was wonderfully complex and dynamic. I like how they finally managed to move on together despite their initial difficulties.

    I appreciated the fact that while there was angst and violence, it was not gratuitous - it had a clear purpose and served its literary value. This alone contributed a great deal to my enjoyment of the story.

    The final chapter was a fitting conclusion. I liked that there was no perfectly happy ending. Still, there was hope, which is really the only certainty in life. (And I love the idea of a Soul Healer - I wish we had some of those here on Earth!)

    I especially enjoyed the Meet the Authors post. It made me laugh out loud. :)

    Thanks for sharing this story - I look forward to reading more of your writing! :D
  13. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    Finally finished. I don't know what was better--the tight, amicable characterizations of the three Knights, the depth of the relations that they're forced into, the torture scenes that were so extensively and realistically done, the prison dynamics that you shudder to think about, or especially Qui-Gon's dark urges, especially towards his captor.
  14. SarkaVrae Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2004
    star 5
    I laughed, I cried, I stood up & cheered! I want to read it again & again.....

    Very emotional story, very nicely done. A little violent at times (I was cringing over and over during some of it), but overall conveyed the story very well. Thanks to both Greencat and Layren for putting your minds together for such a great fic!

    Bravo, bravo, bravo....& encore!
  15. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Xaara Thanks so much for reading! One of the things we tried hard to do was make a point to the angst. We don't really believe in angst for no reason other than angst :p There has to be a purpose to it. So we're both glad you thought there was one!

    I'm really glad you liked Kyran. He's my favorite OC since i've been writing with him the longest. Devin is our newest OC and I like writing him but I admit I like doing Kyran a bit more. I'm still having trouble figuring Devin out once in awhile but I know Kyran like the back of my hand :p


    I'm glad you liked the ending :) There were too many loose ends to tie up if we had made it a completely happy ending lol it would've been another 100 or so pages :p Thanks so much for reading AND reviewing such a lengthy reply! I've been pondering a sequel lol. A bunny bit me just the other day ...I'm trying to make it go away but it's refusing to go! :p


    Ish Hey sweetie glad you liked it! I'm glad you had so many good parts you didn't know which you liked better :D We worked hard on making the bond between the knights come out right hehe. Glad you liked it!


    Sarka Vrae Hey you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! It was a bit violent lol but it was supposed to be ;) He was in prison, and we were doing our best to show that it was one of the worst in the galaxy :p I'm glad we succeeded :D One of the best compliments an author can receive is invoking an emotional response from a reader so I'm really glad you liked it so well!


    And now --- the moment you've all been waiting for -- or maybe not lol. Actually I was inspired (and pushed into) writing a Qui-Gon, Kyran and Devin haiku. For those of you who don't know a haiku is a poem with 5-7-5 format. Five syllables in the first line, seven in second ... etc. I did a few Qui-Gon ones from the Qui-Gon challenge thread which can be found HERE

    Enjoy!

    Family Ties

    Bonds thicker than blood
    between them flow always, they
    help each other, friends.

    Like three brothers they
    work together with the Force
    to get the job done

    All have been childhood
    companions, nothing can tear
    Family apart.

    When one is hurt, near
    Is the other, feeling it.
    Bonds are strong with them.

    A threefold cord is
    Not easily broken. Torn,
    But not broken down.

    They have each other
    To lean on for strength and love
    The Force brings them close.

    Time after time they
    Are tried by the Force. As
    Iron sharpens iron.

    They sharpen their skills
    Their strength is relentless; yes
    Helping them along.

    Making them stronger
    Even in death they are not
    Parted. Watching they

    Are for each other
    Eternity is theirs, as
    Lives draw to a close.

    Each one not perfect
    But having done duty, they
    Receive their reward.




  16. AthenaLeigh Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Aug 3, 2004
    star 2
    haha, yayness, there it is again! *nudge* Nice work, Layren, lol. And good story. ;)
  17. DarthIshtar Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 26, 2001
    star 9
    My favorite one is the threefold cord.
  18. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    Wow, I had no idea so many people had dropped in after we had finished this fic. Thank you all for your kind words about our tale.

    As to the Devin fic and the sequel to Repercussions . . . Layren is ready to go but I have been so caught up in doing things for work that my fanfic writing time seems to have disappeared.

    Fear not, however, the stories will eventually be written and posted.

    Thanks again for reading and the feedback!
  19. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    wow thanks ever so much those of you who nommed Kyran for Best OC in the awards! I'm astounded! and so pleased by your generosity and Kyran thanks everyone very much :) Also thanks for the nom for Family Ties for Best Poem!

    [:D]
  20. tangled_sphere Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Dec 28, 2003
    star 4
    Hey there you guys, just starting reading this and it is very intense. Qui just couldn't stay away, and he stole a ship to do it :eek: Since I know Kyran from Darkness of Temptations, its fun to read about him later in life ;) Great job you two, and I'll post as I read more :D
  21. greencat336 Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Jan 27, 2001
    star 5
    Intense is a good description of this fic, thanks :) Hope you enjoy the rest of it. Maybe Layren and I will someday finish up the other story we started, with Padawan Qui getting his two young knight friends in a bit of trouble . . . .

    A friend of mine, Chris-Stacina_Rajinn, did a couple of drawings for this story. She's still working on the one that shows Kyran and Devin half carrying Qui, but I really like her portraits of Devin and Kyran.


    Devin

    Kyran
  22. Layren Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 28, 2003
    star 5
    Thanks so much everyone for your votes for Kyran as Reader's Choice OC Male -- I was thrilled and he was too :)

    [:D] We all appreciate it on behalf of my co-author, me and Kyran :D
  23. Alethia Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Feb 13, 2005
    star 5
    So Qui-Gon has snuck out of the Healer's ward, stolen a ship and gone off to rescue Jayla. Heh. Why do I know that something bad is just waiting to happen?

    Oh yeah, probably because something always does...

    I like Kyran, by the way. He sounds very interesting. And having his Padawan stolen...poor guy. He sounds like a great friend to have, though. Seems to equal out some of Qui-Gon's, uh, recklessness....

    And now Qui-Gon's going to have to face the Council. That sure sounds like fun.

    And Kyran is angry at him on top of that. I can understand why, though. Qui-Gon didn't really do that great of a job of thinking things through and it did endanger Jayla even more. But then again, he is his best-friend. I guess I'm hoping that Kyran will cool off in a bit and not be angry at him anymore.

    Never underestimate the insightfulness of a Padawan. I liked that bit with Jayla. Poor thing, she went through such a horrible ordeal and now is worrying about Qui-Gon and her Master. That's not something she really needs at the moment.

    Somehow he knew this was going to turn out bad.

    Heh. Doesn't take much to come to that conclusion, does it?

    I know I promised to be nice to Kyran, but I'll admit that at the moment, I don't like him much. Probably because of the way he's acting. Yes, I know he's been through a lot and still sees Qui-Gon as semi-responsible for Jayla, but being glad that he's being escorted by guards? Doesn't seem like something that such a good friend would be glad of. But hey, like I said, I promised to be nice. And it is early on, so...

    The Council's just being cruel. Solitary confinement? And then forced to do whatever they say for a year? All right...so Qui-Gon did screw up. But that doesn't mean they have to be so mean to the poor guy.

    "Just dropping by for a social visit.

    Social visit. Sure. Well okay...I guess it is sort of a social visit. And it was nice of Mace to tell Kyran what happened, so that Kyran wouldn't get even more mad at Qui-Gon. And Kyran ought to lighten up a bit. Qui-Gon, even though he did do something really stupid, did have good intentions. And it did turn out all right in the end. I know, I know, Kyran is worried about Qui-Gon. But that still doesn't really give him much of an excuse.



    And what a sweet memory. Kyran sticking up for Qui-Gom after he fell into the pond... For some reason, I love this line: She knew from experience that Qui-Gon would simply inform her she hadn't asked. Maybe because- oh, I have no clue. But it just hits me...

    The child was good hearted and never seemed to mean to cause trouble, but somehow trouble always managed to find him.

    Apt description- even in his later years... Nice to learn that he was always like that. Then again, if the Council and everyone else knew from the beginning about his trouble-proned nature, then they should also realize that going after Jayla also wasn't necessarily all his fault. He can#t help it- trouble seeks him out!

    And now they have a bond...sweet. I just wonder how that's going to affect the situation they're in now...

    I liked that scene a lot where Qui-Gon and Kyran tlak about Kyran taking Jayla as a Padawan. It really shows how deep their bond is. Which makes it even worse now, it seems...


    So Mace is doing the 'guided' Meditation with Qui-Gon. Jedi don't have nightmares...sure. I really believe that... I liked that scene, though. It shows some depth, I think, into Mace and Qui-Gon's relationship and explains a bit more of the situation.

    Qui-Gon, Qui-Gon. Lying to Master Yoda isn't a good thing, you know. Not to mention that he sees right through it. But at least he's free! Well, of the confinement. Still has a year to go with the other thing. But being able to leave his rooms has got to be a good thing.

    I liked the confrontation between Qui-Gon and Kyran. It really was portrayed there, why they both felt the way they feel. And the subsequ
Moderators: Briannakin, mavjade
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.