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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Your daily smile, humorous observation, anecdote, what have you, v2.0

Discussion in 'Archive: Your Jedi Council Community' started by Shar Kida, Jul 31, 2000.

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  1. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    Ol'val.

    Life is getting much too serious everywhere, yes?

    This time around, I offer as my initial post Marty Smith's edition of "The Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook." I will add one similar piece to this thread daily (really, this time!), and hope that others will contribute also.

    The original can be found at http://boards.theforce.net/message.asp?topic=310118 .


    The Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook
    by Marty Smith

    [from Free Agent March 1987 (a Portland Oregon alternative newspaper), Republished in the Utne Reader Nov./Dec. 1993]


    We have been lucky to discover several previously lost diaries of French philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre stuck in between the cushions of our office sofa. These diaries reveal a young Sartre obsessed not with the void, but with food. Apparently Sartre, before discovering philosophy, had hoped to write "a cookbook that will put to rest all notions of flavor forever." The diaries are excerpted here for your perusal.

    October 3

    Spoke with Camus today about my cookbook. Though he has never actually eaten, he gave me much encouragement. I rushed home immediately to begin work. How excited I am! I have begun my formula for a Denver omelet.

    October 4

    Still working on the omelet. There have been stumbling blocks. I keep creating omelets one after another, like soldiers marching into the sea, but each one seems empty, hollow, like stone. I want to create an omelet that expresses the meaninglessness of existence, and instead they taste like cheese. I look at them on the plate, but they do not look back. Tried eating them with the lights off. It did not help. Malraux suggested paprika.

    October 6

    I have realized that the traditional omelet form (eggs and cheese) is bourgeois. Today I tried making one out of cigarette, some coffee, and four tiny stones. I fed it to Malraux, who puked. I am encouraged, but my journey is still long.

    October 10

    I find myself trying ever more radical interpretations of traditional dishes, in an effort to somehow express the void I feel so acutely. Today I tried this recipe:

    Tuna Casserole

    Ingredients: 1 large casserole dish

    Place the casserole dish in a cold oven. Place a chair facing the oven and sit in it forever. Think about how hungry you are. When night falls, do not turn on the light.

    While a void is expressed in this recipe, I am struck by its inapplicability to the bourgeois lifestyle. How can the eater recognize that the food denied him is a tuna casserole and not some other dish? I am becoming more and more frustrated.

    October 25

    I have been forced to abandon the project of producing an entire cookbook. Rather, I now seek a single recipe which will, by itself, embody the plight of man in a world ruled by an unfeeling God, as well as providing the eater with at least one ingredient from each of the four basic food groups. To this end, I purchased six hundred pounds of foodstuffs from the corner grocery and locked myself in the kitchen, refusing to admit anyone. After several weeks of work, I produced a recipe calling for two eggs, half a cup of flour, four tons of beef, and a leek. While this is a start, I am afraid I still have much work ahead.

    November 15

    Today I made a Black Forest cake out of five pounds of cherries and a live beaver, challenging the very definition of the word cake. I was very pleased. Malraux said he admired it greatly, but could not stay for dessert. Still, I feel that this may be my most profound achievement yet, and have resolved to enter it in the Betty Crocker Bake-Off.

    November 30

    Today was the day of the Bake-Off. Alas, things did not go as I had hoped. During the judging, the beaver became agitated and bit Betty Crocker on the wrist. The beaver's powerful jaws are capable of felling blue spruce in less than ten minutes and proved, needless to say, more than a match for the tender limbs of America's favourite homemaker. I only got third place. Moreover, I am now the subject of a rather nasty lawsuit.

    December 1

    I have been gaining twenty-five pounds a week for two m
     
  2. Dark Lord of the Jedi

    Dark Lord of the Jedi Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2000
    LOL!
    i loved the parts about the cigarette omlet and the beaver biting BC!
     
  3. Réka

    Réka Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 17, 1999
    It's back! Yippie! <I am allowed to say that here, right?>
     
  4. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    Had not turned into a censored word last I heard, Réka.


    A Universal Philosophical Refutation
    [From "Raymond Smullyan, 5000 B.C. and Other Philosophical Fantasies"]

    A philosopher once had the following dream.

    First Aristotle appeared, and the philosopher said to him, "Could you give me a fifteen minute capsule sketch of your entire philosophy?" To the philosopher's surprise, Aristotle gave him an excellent exposition in which he compressed an enormous amount of material into a mere fifteen minutes. But then the philosopher raised a certain objection which Aristotle couldn't answer. Confounded, Aristotle disappeared.

    Then Plato appeared. The same thing happened again, and the philosophers' objection to Plato was the same as his objection to Aristotle. Plato also couldn't answer it and disappeared.

    Then all the famous philosophers of history appeared one-by-one and our philosopher refuted every one with the same objection.

    After the last philosopher vanished, our philosopher said to himself, "I know I'm asleep and dreaming all this. Yet I've found a universal refutation for all philosophical systems! Tomorrow when I wake up, I will probably have forgotten it, and the world will really miss something!" With an iron effort, the philosopher forced himself to wake up, rush over to his desk, and write down his universal refutation. Then he jumped back into bed with a sigh of relief.

    The next morning when he awoke, he went over to the desk to see what he had written. It was, "That's what you say."
     
  5. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    Computers, Heaven, and Hell

    A woman approached the Pearly Gates, and Saint Peter asked for her social security number. The woman told him, and Saint Peter typed on his workstation:

    pearly-gates:^/peter grep 212-53-6432 /earth/human/status

    The computer responded:

    212-53-6432 Cindy Smith cms@dragon.com!earth naughty pearly-gates:^/peter

    Saint Peter then told her she was eternally damned, and that a minivan to hell would be arriving shortly.

    Cindy began to protest "But what did I do wrong? I loved my fellow neighbor as I loved myself, I was a kind, warm, gentle person! Surely there must be a mistake!"

    So, Saint Peter looked up on the files, and saw, lo and behold, that she truly was a kind, warm, gentle person...until he saw the entry for jan 7, 1992-earth, which read:

    ***DAMNABLE VIOLATION #69***

    Posted irrelevant article to newsgroup.

    After probing a little more, Saint Peter explained to the woman, "It seems that on January 7, 1992, you posted an article to Alt.religion.computers. This article gave no praise of Emacs, no snide remarks toward Microsoft, and not even a comment on the proper definition of 'hacker'! In fact, the article was not even relating to computers at all, and discussed, of all things, human religion! There wasn't even a reference to Bob or Discordianism, Zen, or the Tao of programming. Oh, dear! This is terrible.

    "You see, heaven is a perfect place, and we only have room for the most perfect people. Ever since we ran the T-3 line up from New Jersey we've been particularly harsh on breakers of netiquette. Didn't you read RFC-23654? The one proposing commandments 11 through 16?"

    He opened up an XTerm window and searched for some files. After a few moments, the laser printer spat out a crisp sheet of paper. It read:

    11: Thou shalt not flame spelling or grammar.
    12: Thou shalt not have a .sig file longer than 3 lines.
    13: Thou shalt not send "All fags must die" messages to 19 random groups.
    14: Thou shalt not request post a frequently asked question.
    15: Thou shalt not post to a group without first reading a week's worth of posts, thereby avoiding irrelevant articles.
    16: Thou shall not post administrative requests to the main list.

    When she was done, she began to stammer, but Saint Peter stopped her, saying, "I am sorry. There is nothing I can do. To register a complaint, you will have to send mail to:

    status-change-request@godvax.heaven.com.

    We have a group of cherubim who manage such requests. But don't send it to:

    status-change@godvax.heaven.com,

    otherwise your request will be distributed to the whole mailing list. They *hate* that! In fact, there's some discussion about making that the 17th commandment..."

    At that point, a Dodge minivan drove up and came to a stop. Satan, in the form of an IBM salesperson, stepped out. "Welcome!" she said. "We have been waiting for you ..." Cindy, almost in a trance, stepped into the minivan and was whisked away to the netherworld, a world of COBOL, System 36's, punch cards, incompatible network standards, and irresponsible news posters. Satan turned to Cindy, and smiled. "You will like it here," she said. "We have netnews, but we have greatly simplified it. We have only one group, it's:

    alt.talk.sci.comp.soc.rec.misc!"
     
  6. Hôl

    Hôl Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 6, 1999
    Mother rabbit to her small bunny:
    "A magician pulled you out of a hat. Now stop asking questions."
     
  7. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    Cartoon Laws of Physics


    1. Any body suspended in space will remain in space until made aware of its situation. Daffy Duck steps off a cliff, expecting further pastureland. He loiters in midair, soliloquising flippantly, until he chances to look down. At this point, the familiar principle of 9.8 metres per second per second takes over.

    2. Any body in motion will tend to remain in motion until solid matter intervenes suddenly. Whether shot from a cannon or in hot pursuit on foot, cartoon characters are so absolute in their momentum that only a telephone pole or an outsize boulder retards their forward motion absolutely. Sir Isaac Newton called this sudden termination of motion the stooge's surcease.

    3. Any body passing through solid matter will leave a perforation conforming to its perimeter. Also called the silhouette of passage, this phenomenon is the speciality of victims of directed-pressure explosions and of reckless cowards who are so eager to escape that they exit directly through the wall of a house, leaving a cookie-cutout-perfect hole. The threat of skunks or matrimony often catalyses this reaction.

    4. The time required for an object to fall twenty stories is greater than or equal to the time it takes for whoever knocked it off the ledge to spiral down twenty flights to attempt to capture it unbroken. Such an object is inevitably priceless, the attempt to capture it inevitably unsuccessful.

    5. All principles of gravity are negated by fear. Psychic forces are sufficient in most bodies for a shock to propel them directly away from the earth's surface. A spooky noise or an adversary's signature sound will induce motion upward, usually to the cradle of a chandelier, a treetop, or the crest of a flagpole. The feet of a character who is running or the wheels of a speeding auto need never touch the ground, especially when in flight.

    6. As speed increases, objects can be in several places at once. This is particularly true of tooth-and-claw fights, in which a character's head may be glimpsed emerging from the cloud of altercation at several places simultaneously. This effect is common as well among bodies that are spinning or being throttled. A wacky character has the option of self-replication only at manic high speeds and may ricochet off walls to achieve the velocity required.

    7. Certain bodies can pass through solid walls painted to resemble tunnel entrances; others cannot. This trompe l'oeil inconsistency has baffled generations, but at least it is known that whoever paints an entrance on a wall's surface to trick an opponent will be unable to pursue him into this theoretical space. The painter is flattened against the wall when he attempts to follow into the painting. This is ultimately a problem of art, not of science.

    8. Any violent rearrangement of feline matter is impermanent. Cartoon cats possess even more deaths than the traditional nine lives might comfortably afford. They can be decimated, spliced, splayed, accordion-pleated, spindled, or disassembled, but they cannot be destroyed. After a few moments of blinking self pity, they re-inflate, elongate, snap back, or solidify. Corollary: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

    9. Everything falls faster than an anvil.

    10. For every vengeance there is an equal and opposite re-vengeance. This is the one law of animated cartoon motion that also applies to the physical world at large. For that reason, we need the relief of watching it happen to a duck instead.

    11. A sharp object will always propel a character upward. When poked (usually in the buttocks) with a sharp object (usually a pin), a character will defy gravity by shooting straight up with great velocity.

    12. The laws of object permanence are nullified for "cool" characters. Characters who are intended to be "cool" can make previously nonexistent objects appear from behind their backs at will. For instance, the Road Runner can materialise signs to express himself without speaking.

    13. Explosive weapons cannot cause fatal injuries. They merely turn characters t
     
  8. Kyle Altis

    Kyle Altis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 30, 1999
    A poet and a lawyer were traveling together on a plane. The lawyer was bored and said to the poet, "Hey, do you want to play a game? I will ask you a question, and if you get it wrong, you give me £5. Then, you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you £5."

    The poet thought about this for a moment, but he decided against it, seeing that the lawyer was obviously a very bright man. He politely turned down the lawyer's offer. The lawyer, who was really bored, tried again. "Look, I will ask you a question, and if you can't answer it, you give me £5. Then you ask me a question, and if I can't answer it, I'll give you £50."

    So the poet agreed. "Okay," the lawyer said, "what is the exact distance between the earth and the moon?"

    The poet, obviously not knowing the answer, didn't stop to think about the lawyer's question. He took a £5 bill out of his pocket and handed it to the lawyer. The lawyer happily accepted the note and promptly said, "Okay, now it's your turn."

    The poet thought about this for a few minutes, then asked, "All right, what goes up a mountain on three legs, but comes down on four?" The bright glow quickly vanished from the lawyer's face. He thought about this for a long time, taking out his notepad and making numerous calculations. He finally gave up on his notepad and took out his laptop, using his Multimedia Encyclopedia. As the plane was landing the lawyer gave up. He reluctantly handed the poet a £50 note.

    The poet accepted it graciously, getting ready to stand up. "Wait!" the lawyer shouted. "You can't do this to me! What is the answer?"

    The poet looked at the lawyer and calmly put a £5 note into his hand.
     
  9. Kyle Altis

    Kyle Altis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 30, 1999
    We were driving home from a party one night when my wife asked me, "Honey, has anyone ever told you how handsome, sexy, and irresistable to women you are?"

    "No, dear," I replied. "Not lately."

    "Then what gave you that idea at the party tonight?"
     
  10. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    A company is interviewing applicants for an accountancy position, and the three finalists have been chosen.

    The first one is called in, and asked, "What is two plus two?"
    She answers, "Four," and is asked to leave.

    The second finalist is called in, and asked the same question, "What is two plus two?"
    He also answers, "Four," and is also asked to leave.

    The third and final applicant is called in, and yet again is asked, "What is two plus two?"
    He answers, "What do you want it to be?"
     
  11. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    Ready to retire, a manager of a company begins training his replacement. Just before he leaves for good, he takes the replacement aside and tells him that if he ever got really jammed up, he should look in the centre drawer of his desk, where he would find two envelopes, and to open envelope #1.

    Well, time goes by and one day, a big project goes bad and the new manager is in real trouble over it. So he remembers the drawer and the envelopes, and so he gets envelope #1 and opens it. Inside is a sheet of paper with just two words on it: "Blame me!"

    A few months later, the new manager again finds himself in hot water, and remembers that there is an envelope #2. So he goes and opens that one and finds another note. This one reads, "Get two envelopes ..."
     
  12. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    A young man once asked God how long a million years was to Him. God replies, "A million years to Me is just like a single second in your time."

    Then the young man asks God what a million dollars was to Him. God replies, " A million dollars to me is just like a single penny to you."

    So the young man gets his courage up and asks, "God, could I have one of your pennies?"

    Replies God: "Certainly, just a second."
     
  13. Rhui Chatar

    Rhui Chatar Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 1999
    In a restroom at IBM's Watson Center, a supervisor had placed a sign directly above the sink. It had a single word on it --
    "THINK!"

    The next day, when he went to the restroom, he looked at the sign and right below, immediately above the soap dispenser, someone had carefully lettered another sign which read --
    "THOAP!"
     
  14. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    There were these two sophomores at Duke University who were taking Organic Chemistry. (Future med students, don't you know.) They had done reasonably well on all of the quizzes, midterms, labs. Going into the final exam, they had solid "A's."

    Well, even though the Chem final was on Monday, these two sophs were so confident ... (How confident were they?) ... they were so confident that, the weekend before finals week, they decided to go up to University of Virginia to party with some friends.

    Well, they had a great time. However, they ended up staying rather longer than they planned, and did not make it back to Duke until early Monday morning. At that point, they were a bit tired. So, rather than taking the final then, they found their professor after the final. They explained to him that they had missed the final because they had gone up to Virginia for the weekend, and, although they had planned to come back in time to study, they had a flat tire on the way back. Since they did not have a spare, they could not get help for a long time -- so they were late getting back to campus.

    Thinking this story over, the professor finally agreed that they could make up the final the following day. Needless to say, the two guys were elated and relieved; and they studied all that night.

    Next day, when they came to write the make-up exam, the professor placed them in separate rooms, handed each of them a test booklet, and told them to begin. The first problem was something simple about free radical formation and was worth 5 points. They figured they had the examination aced -- until they turned the page.

    Question 2. (95 points) "Which tire?"
     
  15. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    A very religious man lived next door to an atheist.

    While the religious one prayed day in, day out, and was constantly on his knees in communion with his Lord, the atheist never even looked twice at a church. The atheist's life was good: he had a well-paying job, a beautiful wife, his children were healthy and good-natured. The pious man's job was strenuous, his wages were low and his wife and children ignored him every day.

    So one day, deep in prayer as usual, he raised his eyes towards heaven and asked, "Oh God, I honour You every day. I ask Your advice for every problem and confess to You my every sin. Yet my neighbour, who does not even believe in You and certainly never prays, seems blessed with every happiness, while I go poor and suffer many an indignity. Why is this?"

    Came a great voice from above: "Because he does not bother Me all the time!"
     
  16. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    The First Law of Philosophy:
    For every philosopher, there exists an equal and opposite philosopher.

    The Second Law of Philosophy:
    They are both wrong.
     
  17. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    A boy is about to go on his first date, and is nervous about what to talk about. He asks his father for advice. The father replies: "My son, there are three subjects that always work: food, family, and philosophy."

    So the boy picks up his date and they go to a soda fountain. Ice cream sodas in front of them, they stare at each other for a long time, as the boy's nervousness builds. He remembers his father's advice, and chooses the first topic. He asks the girl: "Do you like potato pancakes?" She says "No," and the silence returns.

    After a few more uncomfortable minutes, the boy thinks of his father's suggestion and turns to the second item on the list. He asks, "Do you have a brother?" Again, the girl says, "No," and there is silence once again.

    The boy then plays his last card. Thinks of his father's advice, he asks: "If you had a brother, would he like potato pancakes?"
     
  18. Teniel Djo

    Teniel Djo Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 8, 2000
    Hee, hee, good ones you guys...here's one I got off a "Deep Thoughts* Greeting card. If you've read it bear with me cause I will most certainly misquote but it's too funny to pass up. So here goes...

    "I was in an art museum looking at paintings when a woman came up to me and asked me if I liked Monet or Manet. I told her I liked Mayonaise. She walked away. I think she went to get me some mayonaise." :D
     
  19. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    Dean, to the physics department: "Why do I always have to give you guys so much money, for laboratories and expensive equipment and stuff? Why can't you be like the math department -- all they need is money for pencils, paper and waste-paper baskets. Or even better, like the philosophy department -- all they need are pencils and paper!"
     
  20. Jedi knight Pozzi

    Jedi knight Pozzi Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 2, 2000
    Anchor, as this is a good thread.
     
  21. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    Teachers, teaching assistants (TAs), and professors traditionally collect particularly classic student "missteps" in the fine art of learning to converse. A few are listed below.


    The Ancients

    In the 5th century BC sceptics did not study philosophy for very long. They saw no point in continuing as it did not contribute in any way to their social lives. At that point they became Sophists, and Socrates' worst nightmares.

    metaphorically their [ancient people's] selves could be seen in the buildings which stood around them such as the Polis.

    This in itself could be seen as a risk of hippocracy, as Protagoras was apparently enthusiastic in justifying the democracy.

    If Aristotle had meant `happiness' by `eudaimonia' he'd have said so.

    The early Britons made their houses of mud, and there was rough mating on the floor.

    Sparta protested, saying all the cities' fornications in Greece should be dismantled.

    ... the meteorological rise of the Mycenean ruling class...

    When Plato wrote his theory he did so in the form of a diologue which was supposed to have been said by Socrates, another infamous philosopher.


    Descartes

    Descartes wanted to escape the confines of the intellectual establishment and instead enrol in the school of life.

    In the First Meditation Descartes abandons his body.

    Descartes believed that he was the creator of god.

    In the objections and supplies section of the Meditations...

    Like Plato, Descartes thought the immorality of the soul was established on a priori [...] grounds ...

    [Descartes] can have half a body, but to exist he needs a whole mind.

    Descartes was frequently visited by the natural light.

    Gassendi makes a pert objection...

    Yet Descartes still needed to find a single indubitable truth upon which he could base a foundation for knowledge, like the an allergy which he draws with the single fixed point in the universe to move the entire Earth, as Archimedes once did.

    Bernard Williams' book: Descartes: A Product of Pure Enquiry


    Mill

    Mill said that the higher pleasures are mental, but the lower pleasures are sensational.

    [Mill] substantiates that happiness is desirable by claiming that the only way of showing that anything is desirable is that it is itself desired -- that the desirability is visible.


    Ethics

    If I am not mistaken, there is debate about euthanasia in the Netherlands right now. Opponents want the law rebuked.

    I can argue that it is perfectly permissable for the pesant to trample me to death if I get in his way, because I know that, surrounded by my courtesans it will not be me personally who gets in the way, and anyway the pesant does not ride a horse.

    Williams' next argument seems to be that an egoist would have a "cognition failure" (which Williams thinks follows from Wittginstein).

    [Kant's g]ood will is good in itself because the nature of our bodies is that we have specialised organs in our bodies that produce the best results in their operations - this applies to mental life as well.

    Telephone message from the University of Manitoba Library: "Moral knowledge is available for pick-up at reference desk."


    Philosophy of Religion

    For instance, even atheists recognise that having a rite to practice religion is ultimately important.


    Philosophy of Logic & Language

    "All husbands have heads" is synthetic and "All wives are married" is analytic. We never see a husband without a head. However, it is possible for us to imagine a husband with no head. He may be being kept alive by a system of tubes and motors and was able to marry. This man would still be a man like any other, but headless.
     
  22. Réka

    Réka Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Aug 17, 1999
    A group of old friends get together every Thursday evening for a game of poker, played for real money of course, 'cause it's no fun otherwise. The players are pretty evenly matched, so no one ever loses too much money.

    One night, however, Abe is out of form, and he loses. And loses. And loses some more. In one particularly exciting hand, he loses $500. The shock is too much for him: he clutches his heart, falls out of his chair, and dies.

    The other players, out of respect for Abe, finish the game standing up. Then they figure someone ought to go tell Abe's wife what happened. So they draw straws, and Dave gets the short one.

    Dave gets to Abe's house, and his widow opens the door. Dave stammers a bit, then finally blurts out, "You know, your husband lost $500 tonight."

    "$500? I hope he keels over dead!" his widow says, angrily.

    So Dave says, "Ok, I'll go tell him."
     
  23. Shar Kida

    Shar Kida Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 28, 1999
    During the heat of the space race in the 1960's, the U.S. National Aeronautics and Space Administration decided it needed a ball point pen to write in the zero gravity confines of its space capsules. After considerable research and development, the Astronaut Pen was developed at a cost of about US $1 million. The pen worked and also enjoyed some modest success as a novelty item back here on earth.

    The Soviet Union, faced with the same problem, used a pencil.
     
  24. Rhui Chatar

    Rhui Chatar Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 4, 1999
    To cut costs, recruits to the British navy must shout "bang!" rather than use bullets during drills.

    Columbian Arturo Suspe, 87, died of a heart attack while waiting in line to collect a government certificate to prove he was alive.
     
  25. Kyle Altis

    Kyle Altis Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Sep 30, 1999
    This life is a test. It is only a test. Had this been an actual life, you would have received further instructions as to what to do and where to go.
     
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