Beyond Your Hands Won't Let Me Fall - Chapt. 5: 12-09, complete!

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Nyota's Heart, Nov 26, 2010.

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  1. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Title: Your Hands Won't Let Me Fall

    Author: Jade eyes

    Genre: Drama, Romance

    Characters: L/M, primarily.

    Timeframe: Post TTT ;)

    Disclaimer: Borrowing, with affection.

    Summary: Tied in to A Shade Darker than Her Eyes. That wonderful occasion takes place in the middle [face_thinking] Angsty/mushy stuff happened before and after.

    Note on plot #1: Ben is their oldest -- about two years old.
    Note on Plot #2: Mara was pregnant about nine months before Shade Darker events, briefly :( -- See Prologue below.

    ~~~~~~~

    Prologue

    It all happened so fast. A chase through the lower levels of some seedy underbelly of a semi-backwater world running after pirates cum slavers as part of a Jedi team ...

    A leap between two widely spaced ledges ...

    A blaster shot and lightsabers deflecting as Jaina and Tahiri took down the hunted-turned-predators ...

    Mara found out later that she'd landed off-kilter. The life growing within her was barely begun -- but in tune with the Force as she was, she was starting to feel its nascent presence.

    She'd barely started to feel the stirrings of maternal joy -- and the anticipatory eagerness to confirm this for sure with the Healers and spring it on Luke -- when this happened!

    The stress of the fight and the difficult landing she'd made to instinctively protect the child within had ironically snuffed out the life before it had really begun.

    :(

    So, naturally, when she came back and had the visit with the Healers, they confirmed what she'd expected but with an added tragic note.

    "Can I have more children?" She asked Tekli, barely daring to voice the question and dreading the answer.

    "There's no reason why you shouldn't." The Chadra'fan assured her kindly.

    In the weeks that followed, Mara felt guilt settle around her heart like a cloak: damp and oppressive and smothering.

    Her joy in everyday things seemed to diminish as a consequence, and even Luke's gratitude that she was safe and his lack of blame -- hurt her in an inexplicable way.

    Stang it all! She railed inwardly. I don't deserve your compassion.

    Luke didn't know at all how to reach her ...

    :_|

    ++++++

    TBC...





  2. JediMara77 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 4
    [face_dancing]


    Need I say more?


    Let me know when you update this, of course....
  3. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    The stress of the fight and the difficult landing she'd made to instinctively protect the child within had ironically snuffed out the life before it had really begun.

    . . .

    Luke didn't know at all how to reach her ...



    My heart is sobbing inconsolably...

    :_| :_| :_|

    Please PM me when you update.


    [:D]:*[:D]
  4. Master_Jaina1011 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    May 20, 2002
    star 4
    you can write angst?

    I had no idea you had it in you!!

    But what a great start, though. This will be a good ride!
  5. FelsGoddess Game Host

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    Love a good, angsty story. Looking forward to more. :D
  6. Jedi_QueenBee Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Sep 5, 2008
    star 3
    not what i had imagined but ok, i'll go along with it...:_|
  7. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

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    Feb 25, 2010
    star 5
    Looking forward to more.
    I love me some good angst.
    Please PM me when you update.
  8. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Aug 31, 2004
    star 7
    Angst is definitely new for me as a writer -- as a reader -- I dove in with some of the bestest =D=

    :D

    Thanks for the sweet comments. @};-

    ~~~~~~~

    Two months or so later ...

    Chapter One:
    A Very Cool Climate

    Luke sighs. "She is so ... distant, even from me. I try to be patient, but it's hard. She smothers Ben and then holds aloof from him. Poor guy's totally confused. He asked me why Mommy was so sad. When I told her this, she lit into me. I told her I wasn't criticizing, I just wanted her to know that her feelings were affecting him and that any change in her mood he would naturally take as because of something he did."

    Leia frowns. "I know it seems like it's been "long enough", and even though Mara is a very well-adjusted and resilient lady as a rule, she went through a devastating loss." She held up a hand to forestall what Luke was about to say. "I know ... you lost a child too. But it's different for the woman. Emotionally."

    Luke nods in understanding. "I know it will take time. I just want to help and I feel so frustrated, so walled off!"

    Leia reaches across the table and gave his hand a squeeze. "What she needs is a sympathetic ear." She remarked thoughtfully. "I know just whom to ask."

    Luke smiles in gratitude. "Thanks."

    * *

    Luke brings her red blossoms, even boxes of chocolate. He springs impromptu lunches on her in the middle of a work day. He sees the momentary return of the lively spark in her eyes and the welcome in her smile. Over time, these periods become longer and more frequent, but the clouds still linger.

    One evening, he comes into her home office and places a hand on her shoulder, and he notices she's looking at the data on the screen without seeming to see it.

    "Mara ..." he begins.

    She sighs and looks up at him. "This isn't like me, Luke."

    "There's nothing written in duracrete as to how you're supposed to feel or act, or not feel. I just want you to know I love you and haven't lost one smallest particle of faith in you."

    Her green eyes warm. "Thank you for being patient with me."

    He is as spontaneously loving and demonstrative as ever, but he takes her cue. When she seems out of sorts, he doesn't press it. When she seems her lively, feisty self again, tender moments pass between them as if nothing had happened.

    Except that ... it had.

    They just needed to find a way to embrace the joy again -- while mourning the loss.

    Thankfully, a dear friend would help a great deal in that particular process.

    +++++

    TBC...

  9. JediMara77 Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 4
    Oooh oooh oooh! I have an idea of who that friend is...and if I'm right, stupid Luke for not thinking of it first!

    (It is TK, right? Right?!? :D )
  10. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Luke is the sweetest, bestest husband ever writen!

    @};- @};- @};- @};- @};-
  11. FelsGoddess Game Host

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    [face_thinking] Hm, wonder who is that will help her out?

    =D=
  12. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

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    Luke is such a sweetie pie and Leia is so supportive.

    Can't wait to find out more.
  13. Falcon Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Feb 7, 2002
    star 9
    Wait a sec where's the rest of it, too short need more

    Love where your going with this btw [:D] Poor Luke and Mara
  14. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

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    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
  15. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Thanks for the wonderful feedback @};-

    A visit from old, fun friends [face_batting] and some mush.

    Chapter Two: True Friends & Healing Bonds

    Two weeks later, Karrde and Shada arrived on a brief stopover.

    They commiserated with Mara over the recent tragedy to befall the Skywalkers. :(

    They reminisced about Ghent's crushing on Mara in her early days in Karrde's employ. [face_mischief]

    Naturally, Mara had been oblivious, so single-minded had she been in her dogged pursuit of vengeance and rebuilding a new life as Karrde's second-in-command.

    "There was a brief span of time there," Shada admitted sotto voce, "when I thought you and Karrde might start something."

    "Where'd you get that idea?" Mara laughed outright, the old mirth dancing in her eyes.

    "Well, you're quite the stunner, and you're extremely competent and brilliant; and Talon's very -- compelling in a hundred different ways. But, that bit of fancy didn't last." Shada admitted. "Once you became fast friends with Luke, it wasn't long before I could tell you were interested in him, definitely."

    "I beg to differ." Mara retorted. "He was pining after me, let me tell you. But I would have none of it!"

    Shada laughed. "You two have something special. You two always seem to be able to bring the best out in one another."

    "We do, don't we?" Mara mused.

    "I know you've suffered a great loss, but I really believe if anyone can draw closer together out of it, it's the two of you." Shada said encouragingly.

    Mara believed this as well about she and Luke. "Thank you, Shada. I'm finding my way back, a day at a time."

    Shada, who had lost more than most with the loss of her home and family, understood this all too well. "I have definitely been there." She remarked.

    Talon took Mara aside before he left and told her how much he believed in the fortitude of a lady who could reinvent herself from the "ground up."

    Mara was very touched and was very heartened by the visit of her two old friends.



    * * *

    Soon after their departure, Luke found Mara in the Meditation Garden.

    It was her favorite spot.

    "I think," She said without preamble, "that I really could have prevented what happened. I've been trying to go over it but so many of the details are fuzzy."

    Luke suggested he help her with a memory enhancing technique so that she could see herself as if on a vid-screen or watching the events play out with someone else.

    Their bond was rich and thrumming with memories, emotions, and impressions, but each was strong enough to help guide the stream of images back to the pertinent events.

    Mara watched them play out exactly as they had as if viewing them from a near balcony, as if viewing oneself in a dream.

    When the images faded, she had tears of relief in her eyes.

    "There really was nothing that could have prevented the accident. It was not carelessness or incompetence on my part."

    "I never thought it was." Luke said so reassuringly that it healed something deep within that had been afraid he was even unconsciously blaming her. But their bond was still so open and as their consciousnesses overlapped, she could tell he was speaking from the bottom of his heart. [face_love]

    "Nothing can replace the child we lost." he continued. "But I do love you, Mara, and I would like nothing better than to try again."

    Mara's smile was genuine and filled with warmth with only a vestige of sorrow. She knew she would have moments of grief, but it wouldn't cripple her as it had. And she could think of getting pregnant now with a wistful pang instead of a cringe.

    "I love you, too, Luke." She answered, kissing him gratefully. "Shada was right. You really have been wonderfully patient with me."

    "Ah!" Luke teased, heartened to see her returned serenity. "Are you getting sappy and sentimental on me?"

    "In your dreams, Farmboy." She rejoined.

    He laughed and scooped her up into a big hug and carried her into their bedroom ... where they proceeded to confirm their love in sweet, enthusiastic detail.

    +++++++
    TBC.


  16. serendipityaey Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jan 24, 2004
    star 4
    Sad and sweet. Very enjoyable [face_love] I don't venture 'beyond' often, I sadly know next to nothing post trilogy, so you'll have to send me a pm when you update :)
  17. JediMara77 Chosen One

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    Mar 5, 2004
    star 4
    HA! I was right!!! :D


    Lovely as always, Jade.
  18. FelsGoddess Game Host

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    Lovely update. [:D] Wasn't expecting Shada.
  19. The1stJediPrincess Jedi Grand Master

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    Sep 20, 2010
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    Lovely story! [face_love] Nice work Jade_eyes. Please add me to PM list.
  20. Briannakin Grand Moff Darth Fanfic Manager

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  21. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

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    Sweet update and seeing old friends like Talon again.:)

    Loved how Luke and Mara interacted with love and understanding.=D==D=
  22. Hazel Force Ghost

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    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4
    Beautiful! [face_love]

    Good friends are truly a blessing.

    [:D] :* [:D]
  23. Nyota's Heart Combos & Paragraphs Host

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    Thanks for the super feedback.

    :D

    Some Weeks Later ...

    Chapter Three: My Heart Is Open Again

    "I must say," Leia quipped over lunch. "Every time Han is around Wedge and Iella and their kids, he starts saying: Leia are you sure you don't want to have more kids?"

    Mara laughed.

    "And what do you say?"

    "I say: Kriff, not so soon. I just got these two to settle down to a dull roar in the evenings."

    "Was it hard to decide to have kids for you?"

    Leia sighed. "It really was. I was totally stuck on the whole as Han calls it "darthy legacy"."

    They chuckled at Han's colorful but accurate phrasing. "I realized that that would be no more of an influence than any other, and that how Han and I raised them and loved them would provide the bigger portion of how they could or would turn out. I couldn't stay chained to the past." Leia concluded. "It wasn't fair to either one of us."

    Mara nodded in complete understanding. "I think I've come to a similar conclusion about having another child. At first I grappled with guilt and fear -- but then I wanted to make sure the desire wasn't springing from any residual guilt or other misplaced emotions. That certainly wouldn't be fair to Luke, me, or the child to be."

    "And what'd you decide?" Leia inquired.

    "That I want another child for the reason I wanted the one we lost."

    Leia's eyes were misty and soft. "Love." She murmured.

    Mara gave a playful wink. "Please. You'll spoil my image."

    "Luke did that a long time ago." Leia teased with a grin.

    * * *

    Luke and Mara had been watching a silly holovid with lots of explosions and speeder chases. There was a touch of romance in it as well. Ben had watched a child-friendly show right before and fallen asleep between them on the sofa. He looked so peaceful with the stuffed baby Ewok in his hand that Mara hated to move him.

    She carried him, os so gently, and settled him into his bed. She gazed down at him for a long moment and brushed a light hand against his cheek.

    Her heart melted at the sight of him.

    This was a gentle and soft side of Mara, one her family had nurtured and brought to full bloom in her.

    She smiled to herself as she softly closed the door.

    Yes, she felt ready again.

    ++++++++

    SQUEE!!!

  24. Hazel Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Nov 9, 2010
    star 4

    So wonderful! I'm so glad Mara has recovered and decided to try again. [face_love] [face_dancing]

    I always thought it was a waist for them to only have one child. Big pro-fic mistake.


    I really liked the "darthy legacy" remark. [face_laugh] Can I use it?

    [:D] :* [:D]
  25. earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One

    Member Since:
    Aug 21, 2006
    star 6
    yes sweet and lovely. Ben should have siblings. And Mara is hmmm[:D]

    Nice update[face_dancing]
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