Your honest opinions on some concepts, please...

Ok, here is a storyline, give your opinion on it...

The core idea is about one character that was merely named in one document, Myra Darvatti (well, it was ''Myrette'' but in French, this name soons really silly, as MIRETTE is the traduction of EYEBALLS, the name gave to TIE in X-Wing novels)

In the said document, Darvatti is a friend of a certain woman at Carida, and both of them are enlisting in the Imperial Forces. The said woman is no one less that Shira Brie, which explains that Darvatti role is in fact quite reduced.

The base is this document, with some slight modification.

The idea of the fic is basically about Darvatti now affected to a battle group in the outer rim (frigates Ludwick, Maru-Ki and VSD Stalwart)..This names should ring a bell to very hardcore SW games fan) and that she have ''connections'' in the Empire ; more exactly, an academy friend that is a Dark Jedi (but, not Shira Brie in the fic, to allow more creativity)

The said Dark Jedi (credible names needed. But not things like ''Dark Lady Death'', please...) have not forgot her friend, and she is quite willing to help her a bit when she (Myra) have some trouble. Especially when it's involve killing some people...

The fic will explain the relation between Myra and the Dark Jedi of course. NO EXPLICIT (or implicit...) slash. (Precision : Myra is completly force-insensitive)

Also, the fic will also support the commander of the battle-group, Vice Admiral Thrawn. It's will be interesting, because it's will be a Tie Fighter fan-fic without space battles...and one that will be bashing very thorougly the official Tie Fighter ''pilot'', Marek Steele, that Myra-and her commander...dislike...

The clever part is about the fact that, WHAT A SURPRISE, Myra have a strange background...

Myra is the daughter of a war hero of the Clone Wars, Admiral Darvatti, who is known to be one of the very few commanders in the Imperial Navy that ever dared to manifest his opinions about the general strategy of the Empire. It's also said in the Fleet, in an half-serious way, that between angering Lord Vader and risking an argument with his daughter, Darvatti was likely to took Lord Vader. The fact is ; it's not a joke...Some in Corsucant says that this is why Darvatti is remaining loyal to the Empire ; for fear of retribution on his daughter, in a crude (kill her) or subtle (expel her from the Imperial Navy) way.

It's exactly the kind of deals that Palpatine would like (You serve me, I let your daughter do as she wish in the fleet, and I even help her carreer) especially considering that, all things considering, this is MUCH cheaper than the deals made with various Houses. There is certainly much truth into this, but this is not explaining why Darvatti is so worried about Myra.

 

Well, this post was mostly for see if people would be interested in reading it (and also for getting good names for my Dark Lady of the Sith...)

But it's also for evaluating the value of my core concept, which is the following. It's kinda spoils the fic, but since it have not been written yet...

When she was a kid, Myra and her father (her mother was caring with her, but...distant. This bothered Myra greatly) were a couple of times at receptions in Coruscant, and they even saw the Emperor. The Emperor said to her father, that ever since that time tried to make her forgot this sentence (without success. Of course, Myra was more and more curious about the meaning of it) that Myra was truly an adorable doll...

Darvatti is a true war hero, having been to all the battles of the War, from Sarapin to Coruscant. Judging by the coldness displayed by his wife to his daughter, there are numerous people that says that Myra was probably born out of marriage, and that Darvatti wed basically to get her a mother...The other woman was probably dead, or really not marriable (already wed ? Scandalous ?)

Why Darvatti never wed the woman he actually loved is for an reason that is very easy to understand : she was dead. She died at the Siege of Sarapin, 25 years before the current date (one year before the battle of Endor. Please, BTW, correct me if there is errors in chronology) Little problem : Myra is...21 years old. Ouch.

Myra is not the daughter of Darvatti and the woman he loved. Myra is the twin sister of that woman ! Altought technically not a clone (she got a normal birth, her own memories, her own life...) she is genetically the perfect copy of that woman.

Palpatine geneticians tried several techniques of clonage, including the oldest ones, grossly cost-innefective, of taking an DNA sample and re-creating an embryo with it. This technique was not very competitive compared to the Kaminoans or Spaartis ones, altought it had an overwhelming advantage ; if done correctly, without manipulation, there was NO side effects (I reccall here that both the Kaminoan and Spaarti process have awful side effect, like potential madness, and accelerated biological decay) The other problem is that the result of the operation is not very interesting for clone-masters, as the mind can turn out to be radically different than the one of the original (the mind...and the capacities) Also, the said embryo must be normally developped (this means, in a womb, not a vat...) which make this technique of very dubious value in Starwars universe (where clones are mass-produced)

So, the things are pretty simple. Palpatine «offered» to the despaired Darvatti a possibility of having a new chance : he said that Myra would be like the daughter that he could have had with this woman. He did not told the little problem : that Myra would look like a living ghost of that woman...It's why he said the word ''doll''. Myra is a gift he made to Darvatti, in exchange of his loyalty.

Saying that this is straining the sanity of Darvatti is an understatement. Darvatti does not fear dead ; he fears that the Emperor may told, any day, the truth to his «daughter» and made her suffer...

Myra's «mother» is basically someone that Darvatti took to play that role (he took another person for «bearing» Myra...) It's a very decent deal, BTW, and the woman actually liked Myra. Still, she never actually loved Myra, and it affected her immensely...

 

I like the wheels within wheels concept. They always work out well, as long as you don't exspose the concept too early on.

The only problem I could see with this is keeping everything straight once you get deep into it. It took me reading that 3 times to finally get it straight.

So wait... Shes not only his daughter, but technically her mother too....


But it sounds good! I like the premise of your plot. Just let me know when you post it so I can read it.

 

I agree that this is a "well-conceived plan," as Qui-Gon would call it.

 

Well, Star-Guitars, this is exactly the problem.

Myra is not a fool, she is aware that she is probably not the daughter of the woman that is her official ''mother''. She have heard of the stories of how her father had loved another woman, and she is quite sure that she is in fact her daughter. She is not aware that, technically, she is much more her SISTER than daughter.

 

So make the plot discovery for Myra a sort of detective novel...

****
Myra look at the datapad, the information concerning her mother's DNA was on it.

"I'm not my mother's daughter. This proves it! But if not her, then who...."

****

Myra embarks upon a quest, chasing down leads, an old holo he saw in her father's drawer, a old man who says she looks exactly like someone he once knew on sarapin, all of it leading up to her discovering the truth, and confronting her father.

It would make a great detective story for Star Wars.
ha, Myra, Private Eye....

 

More exactly, it will be her friend, the Dark Jedi, that will learn the truth, and she is really not knowing what to do about it....

 

You want a name for your Dark Jedi? All depends on what you want.

If you want it to be ironic, you could give her a borderline silly name...and then have her kill anyone who laughs at it. I.e. one of the names Face uses in the Wraith Squadron books, when he and several of the other squad members go to the Galactic Museum's displays on Imperial Intelligence.

If you want it to be a "real" name, one that gives no hints as to her abilities or disposition, just choose a name that seems to "fit" in Star Wars, or perhaps affect an alternate spelling of an Earth name. (In order to make it seem more exotic, you could make it an alternate spelling of a French name; I gather that either French is your first language or you are fluent in it.)

Or if you want a name that's sinister...Dark Lady Death works fine. In all seriousness, find words or syllables that seem to evoke darkness or evil and use them.

 

I think it's going to be Lucy or Lucia. An

important thing to note is that this Dark Jedi is actually quite kind with Myra, for a reason that's hard to summarize in a few lines ; it's will be heavily developped. The basic idea is that Myra helped her at the academy, and she is very grateful for that.

 

The fic structure is more and more taking shape. Now, I'm developping the second character, Lucia, whose childhood was quite harsh. And who made unspeakable things.

Notably, after she graduated from Carida, she came back to her homeworld...to kill her mother, who had selled her at twelve years old, for settling debts.
(Note : the selling issue being dealed in a...realist way. You know what this mean. Lucia will say some things about it, but it's not going to be showed of course. Is this acceptable ?)