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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Youthful Mistakes

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction Stories--Classic JC Board (Reply-Only)' started by KnightMara, Aug 5, 2000.

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  1. Wedge 88

    Wedge 88 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Up! This was on page 6!

     
  2. JediRogue9

    JediRogue9 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    May 8, 2000
    This is great!!
     
  3. KnightMara

    KnightMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 13, 1999
    Hey, thanks for bringing this thing back up. I was too annoyed that it had disappeared to post anything earlier. It's just such a pain to have to go digging around to find your own story, isn't it?
    Well, thanks again. Here's more. (I've been hit by the "iffy" bug so please comment on this next post.)



    A little while later, Luke was staggering to the door of his home, aware that Fixer?s eyes were trained on him the entire time. When he finally reached the entrance, he threw a small wave back at the unexpectedly compassionate boy and ducked inside. Bracing himself, he waited for his aunt?s usual, "Is that you, Luke?" When he heard nothing, he went further inside and was greeted by silence and emptiness. He breathed a sigh of relief. Both his aunt and his uncle were out of the house.

    Suddenly, he wondered why he felt relieved. After all, hadn?t he promised Fixer that he?d get help? But if they weren?t there, that would give him time to see if he really needed the help. After all, there was no sense getting in trouble for nothing if he started getting better. Why tell them that he?d been . . .what was it that he?d been doing? He tried to clear the fog in his aching brain, but he couldn?t quite remember. Wait! Fixer had told him. He?d been riding on Biggs? speederbike. That was it. At least, that was what Fixer had told him had happened, which was all Luke had to rely on right now. And he knew that his uncle would react badly if he?d gotten hurt on a speederbike, so it was better not to tell him. No, he wouldn?t say anything unless he absolutely had to.

    Looking down at his torn and bloodied clothing, he quickly decided to shower and change. That would get rid of the most visible evidence. Yes, that was what he?d do. He headed toward his bedroom to get some clean clothes and to throw away the ones he?d ruined. Halfway there, he was forced to stop. The wall paintings suddenly began to sway and dance in his vision, and he leaned heavily against the wall until they were finished. Righting himself again, he felt that cold dampness that had crept up on him earlier and tried to force it back. He wouldn?t get sick again. He had nothing left in his stomach anyway.

    He continued resolutely to his room and gathered up the clothing he?d need to change into. There was a tunic that was a bit too large for him, and he hoped the sleeves would cover up his scraped knuckles. The only other thing that concerned him was his boots, but he could go barefoot for now. That problem could wait until morning if it had to. He gingerly climbed out of his ruined clothes, bracing himself against the wall with one hand and being careful not to pull too hard on the cloth that was caked to his knees. Undressed and clutching the bundle of fresh clothes to his chest, he headed for the ?fresher.

    He emerged a little while later fully clothed once more, but doubled over from the pounding agony in his head. The sonic shower had cleansed him, but it had made his headache worse, and he didn?t know why. Gripping the wall for support, he weakly stumbled back to his room and collapsed on the bed, tears streaming unbidden from his eyes. He took several shallow breaths, trying to ease the pain, the nausea, and the pull toward unconsciousness that was beginning to look like a rather pleasant option. He shivered as he broke into a sweat again, so carefully he reached down and pulled his blankets up to his chin.

    At that moment, he heard movement in the house.

    "Luke, are you home yet?" his aunt?s voice called distantly from somewhere inside the home.

    Shivering violently and hugging his blanket as a lifeline, Luke was unable to respond. Any improvements he had made since hurting himself had been erased in that blasted shower, and now he could barely summon the energy to move his lips, let alone call out to his Aunt Beru.

    "I guess he?s still out with his friends," he heard her say. If she was still talking aloud, that meant that?

    "Well, he?d better get home soon. I don?t like him stayi
     
  4. Vergere

    Vergere Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2000
    ooo...keep going!! i like it!

    what will happen to him later that prevents him from telling them what happened???
     
  5. I love Sci Fi

    I love Sci Fi Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jan 21, 2000
    MORE MORE MORE!!!! That was GREAT!!!!
     
  6. maramijade

    maramijade Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2000
    I agree I want MORE!
     
  7. KnightMara

    KnightMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 13, 1999
    A very short post to conclude this portion of the story (I already have the second part almost completely written, yippee!):



    When Luke did finally open his eyes, it was perfectly dark in his room, throwing him into a disoriented panic. The bed seemed to sway gently beneath his body, and he found himself clutching at the sides in an effort to find some semblance of balance. Without light, it was hard to tell which direction was up, so he remained in a state of terrified paralysis for several minutes. When things slowly began to stop their sickening motion, Luke tentatively tried to move.

    Miraculously, the throbbing pain was gone from his head, and he was left with merely a vague soreness behind his eyes and at the back of his skull. His stomach still felt a bit on the weak side, and his balance was far from perfect as he struggled into a sitting position on the bed. Sore muscles protested against his action, but he had no choice. Nature, it seemed, was calling him to the ?fresher, and he had to obey or risk more embarrassment than a thirteen year-old boy was able to handle. He gingerly swung his legs around to the bedside and placed his feet on the floor. Taking a deep breath, he rose to stand, and was satisfied when he didn?t collapse into a heap.

    Blinking his eyes around the room, he realized it must be nearing dawn, for the faint outlines of the objects in his room were starting to emerge from the total darkness he had awakened to. He must have been asleep for quite a long time then, for it was early afternoon when his aunt had left his room to go prepare dinner for his uncle. Hoping that the sleep had done him some good, he sniffled and reached out his hand to feel along the wall as he made his way to the ?fresher. Realizing that his nose had started to run, he sniffled again and wiped his sleeve across his face. No, it wasn?t very hygienic, but it would do. As he walked, his dizziness increased, but the pain didn?t. Feeling that this was a good sign, he stepped into the ?fresher and switched on the light.

    And drew a startled breath at the red stain on his sleeve. Wiping his nose once more, he realized that his nose wasn?t running. It was bleeding! He reeled. He?d never had a nosebleed before, and he wasn?t good with blood to begin with. Small cuts were one thing, but any large quantity of blood was enough to make him faint. Especially if it was his own blood. Weak with fear and the aftereffects of his injury, he pondered risking a glance in the mirror to see how bad it was. Thinking it would be best to confront the problem face to face, so to speak, he approached the mirror.

    His reflection made him stagger. Blue eyes wide with horror and underscored with dark purple circles stared out of a face that was ghastly pale, while a thin trail of crimson blood ran from each nostril and down to his collar. He couldn?t help but focus on the blood that glared red against his deathly white skin. Suddenly icy cold, sick, and dizzy, he backed into the wall, not realizing his mistake. The tender lump at the back of his head made contact with the hard surface of the 'fresher wall and his mind exploded in a brilliant flash of fiery pain as he was plunged into absolute darkness.
     
  8. Neon Star

    Neon Star Jedi Grand Master star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 30, 2000
    Poor Luke!
    You can't leave us there! Please post more soon!
     
  9. Alli-Wan

    Alli-Wan Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 1999
    Sigh, yet another author succumbs to "Iffy-itis." No, your story is not iffy, it ia far from iffy. It is very well written and Luke's fear and comfusion is realistically portrayed and speaks to the audience. Keep up the excellent work. --AWK, Queen of Iffy.
     
  10. maramijade

    maramijade Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2000
    ouch so we have moved from Obi torture to Luke torture now have we?
     
  11. KnightMara

    KnightMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 13, 1999
    Not quite, maramijade. I have ulterior motives up my sleeve. I'm not that sadistic or cruel. It's more of an ends justifying the means kind of thing.

    And when you start dating a med-student, your descriptions just become that much more vivid. :)
     
  12. Wedge 88

    Wedge 88 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Heh, that was cool. Can't wait to see how Luke gets through this...
     
  13. KnightMara

    KnightMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 13, 1999
    Okay, since this next part is already written, I'm gonna post it. Feedback, as always, is strongly desired. :)


    Youthful Mistakes--Part 2

    There were voices. Disjointed ones. And they seemed to be asking questions and making statements at the same time.

    ". . .coming around. . . . .hear me?. . .your name. . .? . . . stay with. . . . . fracture. . . . .hear me?. . .. give me a. . . out again. . .."

    They were swallowed up by the darkness almost as quickly as they had emerged and he plunged back into unawareness.

    Luke?s eyes flashed open and then squinted again as they were confronted with brilliant light. It was almost blinding in its glare, and Luke dimly wondered if he was staring at the twin suns. Shadows seemed to move before him, periodically blocking the light, but he couldn?t focus on any of them. And it hurt too much to try. His eyes didn?t want to work, and neither did his ears as he was greeted back to consciousness by a mumbled drone of what he guessed were voices. Nothing was distinct, however, and he gave up trying to figure out what was going on as pain racked him once more. Closing his eyes again, he drifted back into oblivion.

    When his eyes opened again, the brilliant light was gone. It had been replaced by something much softer. The voices were gone as well, leaving him in a kind of soothing silence. Glancing about, his eyes fell upon a figure at his bedside. Through his blurry vision, he could not make out the person?s identity. Narrowing his eyes, he tried to focus, and eventually managed to make out the form of an unfamiliar old man. As though suddenly taking notice of his effort, the old man regarded him with a smile and placed a hand upon his shoulder.

    "Not yet, young Luke. Rest."

    The words were clear, even though Luke had not seen the old man make a sound. It was as if the command had been spoken inside of his own head. And yet, it was one he could not resist, as he slowly slipped back into unconsciousness.

    As he drifted back into awareness, he was conscious of the tight squeeze on his left hand and a mild pressure against his head. He was lying on a soft bed that wasn?t his own, but he felt relatively comfortable. In fact, as he opened his eyes once more, he noted that there was very little pain at all. It seemed that the only thing he could recall experiencing before this moment had been pain. But now it was gone. He blinked his eyes, and took in the warm light that bathed the room. Things were coming into focus without much effort, and within moments his eyes fell upon a familiar form.

    In a very unfamiliar position.

    Perched in a chair at his bedside, head resting on one arm that was curled on the mattress, was his Uncle Owen, perfectly sound asleep. His other arm rested at Luke?s side, holding the boy?s left hand tightly even as he slept. Luke stared dumbfounded at the older man, puzzled as to how circumstances had placed him in this position. He noted that his uncle?s face was unshaven, and that his clothes appeared rumpled. As he watched the man?s steady breathing, Luke winced at the thought of the aches and pains his uncle was going to wake up to after sleeping in such an awkward position. He hoped it wouldn?t make him grumpy, as he was prone to get without a good night?s sleep. But why had he slept there in the first place?

    Glancing around the room in search of an explanation, Luke balked at his unfamiliar surroundings. The room was very small, and sparsely furnished. The walls were a warm, sandy shade, but devoid of the paintings that decorated his own home. A small table sat against one wall, with another chair beside it. Next to his bed, on the right side, some sort of machine whirred and beeped rhythmically. And suddenly, he knew. He was in a hospital. He?d never been in one before?he?d never had a need to, for he was never sick. But his groggy mind had somehow managed to piece things together quite rapidly, and he knew that was where he was. But why?

    At that moment, the door to the room slid open,
     
  14. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    This is very good. Please don't be discouraged.
    Three cheers for KnightMara hip hip hooray!

    Post more soon.
     
  15. Vergere

    Vergere Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jul 19, 2000
    oh wow....

    old man=Obi-wan??? i think so!!

    how sweet is Owen being, so worried about Luke to stay by his side all night?

    MOREMOREMORE!
     
  16. maramijade

    maramijade Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 17, 2000
    hey good post


    (have you read my signitrue? Machieavelli has no place in starwars, *The means do not support the ends*)
     
  17. Amidala22

    Amidala22 Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Jun 20, 1999
    I just read this and it's excellent!!!! Please post more!!!

    Amidala22:)
    Queen of Jedi Knights
     
  18. KnightMara

    KnightMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 13, 1999
    Hehehe, maramijade. Of course I noticed your signature. Why else would I have written that comment? It was impossible to resist.
    Of course, I must disagree. Vader was purely Machiavellian, so the concept is definitely deeply entrenched in the GFFA. And look at that Jedi Council in Ep1.
    Not that I have a copy of The Prince by my bedside or anything. I'm definitely not a follower of such a belief system. . .although I know many that are.

    But I digress.

    Thanks for the comments all! More to come soon!
     
  19. Wedge 88

    Wedge 88 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Wheee. Its like waiting for the next NJO book to come out..
     
  20. Wedge 88

    Wedge 88 Jedi Grand Master star 6

    Registered:
    Jul 16, 1999
    Double post....ignore
     
  21. Tenel'Ka

    Tenel'Ka Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    That was great!!! Loved the Obi-Wan part. It was him right? Anyway, great story!
    MORE PLEASE!!!!
     
  22. KnightMara

    KnightMara Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Apr 13, 1999
    'nother post in the continuing saga of "Youthful Mistakes--Part2." LOL.

    Okay, here goes:


    Within moments, Aunt Beru reentered, followed by a rather terrifying metal entity. With a skull-like face and transparent abdomen, it looked like something out of Luke?s nightmares. Unable to stop himself, Luke drew in a sharp breath in shock before demanding, "What is that?"

    Beru was startled by her nephew?s reaction. "Luke," she said in a calm voice, "this is the medical droid that?s been taking care of you. He saved your life."

    Luke persisted in gazing at the metal man with furrowed brows and a doubtful expression. This was no soothing doctor standing before him, but a metal horror. He was glad he?d been out of it earlier, because he was sure the shock of seeing this thing would have killed him. He'd much rather prefer the old man to this. . .thing. Then, suddenly, something clicked in his mind. Something his aunt had just said.

    "What do you mean, ?saved my life??" he asked slowly. "What was wrong with me? I just bumped my head and passed out, right? "

    Beru and Owen looked at each other uncomfortably before the medical monster finally spoke. The voice it emitted was surprisingly soothing and gentle. "You?ve suffered from a severe skull fracture and some internal hemorrhaging, sir. It was, in fact, quite a life-threatening injury. However, I must say, your recovery has been remarkable. I have never seen such a rapid improvement. By all accounts, sir, you should still be in a coma."

    Listening to the droids words, Luke suddenly felt his mouth go very dry and a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. Reality hit him like a physical blow, and it stunned him. Reaching tentative fingers up and across his forehead, he felt the plaster-like bandage that encased his head and suddenly realized the source of the odd pressure he?d felt there. "C-c-coma?" was all he could stammer.

    "Yes," came the all-too-calm reply from the droid. "You?ve been unconscious for the better part of ten days, with a few brief periods of semi-consciousness. We had to perform surgery on?"

    "Stop!" Luke cried, feeling ill with the knowledge of what he?d been through without his even knowing it. Ten days? Blurred recollections of staggering pain and blood rose to the surface of his consciousness, and hearing the droid?s words made their disjointed and distorted appearance too much to handle. "I?ve heard enough, thank you."

    "Yes, sir," the droid politely responded. "But I do have to perform a few tests."

    Luke threw a terrified glance at his aunt and uncle.

    Aunt Beru moved toward him and placed a hand gently on his shoulder. "Luke, it?s important. We?ll be right here. You?ll be okay."

    Luke mutely nodded at her, but he turned his gaze away from the droid. He felt like a baby for being so scared around what was obviously a care-giving machine, but he couldn?t help it. So, instead, he stared down at his folded hands, noting the healing scars on his knuckles. Tightness formed in this throat as he remembered seeing these knuckles torn and bloodied the last time he?d looked at them. Unbidden, the image of his own face, deathly pale with lines of crimson, flashed into his mind. Flipping his hands over so that the palms faced up, he swallowed and pushed the vision out of his head. He didn?t need to remember that. He didn?t need to remember any of it. But even as the thought crossed his mind, he realized that there was too much that he didn?t remember. Not to mention ten days of his life that he'd never even experienced. How much had been erased forever? He shivered.

    If he?d only known how badly he?d been hurt, he?d have gotten help sooner. Wouldn?t he? The circumstances of his injury were still lost among the memories he wasn?t sure he would ever be able to retrieve. The image of his pale face in the mirror came to him again, and he winced.

    "Are you experiencing physical pain, sir?" he heard the droid ask gently.

    Startled, Luke looked up into his metal face. "No," he repli
     
  23. Tenel'Ka

    Tenel'Ka Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
    cool! I actually like Uncle Owen in this story! I would love to see more of Old Ben though!!!
     
  24. RebelMom

    RebelMom Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Apr 20, 2000
    I love it when they act like real people. Time for more story please.
     
  25. Tenel'Ka

    Tenel'Ka Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Apr 5, 2000
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