Beyond Zhar Zhar's Lesson (about 60 Years Post-ROJ) Luke Skywalker, Original Character New Edit [02/05/05]

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Anakin Starkiller, Feb 21, 2004.

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  1. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    Title: Zhar Zhar's Lesson
    Author(s): Anakin Starkiller
    Timeframe: about 60 or so years after RotJ
    Characters: Luke Skywalker, Original Character Zhar Zhar Bhor, a Gungan Padawan
    Genre: Vignette, Jedi Philosophy
    Keywords:
    Summary: A young Gungan Padawan meets Luke Skywalker on his first day of training.
    Notes: Please don't kill me for using a Gungan in my story.


    Zhar Zhar's Lesson
    by
    "Anakin Starkiller"

    Jedi Master Luke Skywalker found himself to be very content. The wars he had fought were distant memories, and at long last, the Galaxy seemed to be at peace. Or at the very least, the Galaxy was not at all out war with itself or others, and that was close enough to peace for him. Of course there was still a need for Jedi. If peace and justice were to continue in the Galaxy, it would have to be guarded. To that end, Master Skywalker spent most of his time here, in the Jedi Temple he had called home for many decades. He continued the study and discovery of what it meant to be Jedi. This knowledge he unselfishly passed to the other Jedi, his Jedi.

    Though it had been many years since he had taken an apprentice of his own, he felt a great responsibility to be a teacher to all Jedi. He did not know how much longer he was for this world, and he did what he could so that his legacy would be a Jedi Order that could exist without him. He had left the politics and organization of the Order to be run by younger Jedi, and now served in what was technically an advisory role. His advice however was often taken as a voice of absolute authority. He could not stop others from referring to him as 'the founder' as they discussed the order, but insisted on simply being called 'Master' to his face. He had long given up hope of ever being just 'Luke' to anyone but his closest friends.

    As was his custom, he strolled the halls of the Jedi Temple after breakfast, circuitously making his way to the library. He found himself in a hallway lit by the early morning sun. The sunlight made his silver hair and beard appear to be luminous as he turned his face into the warmth, closing his eyes, and finding a brief moment of content meditation. With a deep breath and a sigh, he turned and found a turbolift that would bring him to the library.

    The temple library did not just hold its information in its massive data banks, but also in printed volumes, handwritten notes, carved into materials exotic and mundane, and in artifacts. It could just as easily be called a museum as a library. A few of Luke's comrades from past campaigns now served as temple librarians, maintaining the vast stores of data and information. These old Jedi still wore their lightsabers, and would serve again if needed. They continued their training, growing in their knowledge of the Force, and were ready to serve the younger generation of active Jedi.

    The shape of the library was that of an eight-spoked wheel: an outer ring-shaped room, with eight corridors leading to a central hub. Within the corridors, there were a number of studies. These were for any Jedi to use, but it was understood that the large, cluttered study in the western spoke was for the use of Master Skywalker. There was no rule forbidding other Jedi from using this study, in fact, it would be within the rights of the lowest Padawan to use any study they wanted. When it came to the study favored by Master Skywalker, it was considered for his exclusive use. It was to this study that Luke made his way, finding his work and studies just as he had left them, late the night before.

    He stood at the threshold for a moment, looking at what awaited him. There on the workbench was the crystalline circuitry of an unfinished project. In the corner there was a dwarfed, potted ch'hala tree. Next to one wall, an often used data terminal that some would say was out of date. Tucked away in a small alcove was a small teapot, cracks in the glaze showing its age. On his desk lay the scroll he was studying, and beside it, the amulet that was assisting him in the translation.

    He sat over th
  2. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    The story behind the story
    I was in bed, in Semi-conciousness and imagined / dreamt this conversation between an Episode II Obi-Wan and Jar Jar. I liked the Gungan's attitude of not being able to change who you are, and built the story around that. Ofcourse the setting did not work, so I put it in the far(ish)-future and changed the Jedi Master to an 80 year old Luke, and cloned Jar Jar. "Zhar Zhar Bhor" is just a place-holder name until a better Gungan name comes to me. Zhar because its pronounced close to Jar, and Bhor is short for Gabor -- a suggestion from my best friend. I also liked the idea of writing the most hated of all Star Wars characters, even a clone of him. I needed a character with innocence and naivté, and Jar Jar fit the bill, and I figured its pretty hard to tell Gungans apart anyway, so I made generic Jar Jar clone #2.

    Comments are welcome. Criticism sought just as much as praise. Looking for Beta readers.
  3. jedimasterkipdurron Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Aug 4, 2003
    star 4
    Great post! Like how you got the Gungan(sp?) speech thing going good.
  4. kayladie97 Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 6, 2003
    star 4
    That was quite lovely! I like to imagine that Luke would finally be able to have some peace and quiet in his life that far down the road. I don't mind Zhar Zhar at all, in fact I thought he was downright cute! But then I'm not a huge Jar Jar hater, either.

    Are you going to continue this? I like seeing Luke as the elder statesman, all the adoration getting on his nerves a bit!

    Great job!
  5. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    jedimasterkipdurron: Thank you. Gungan-speak is kind of fun, but to get it right, you actually have to say the stuff outloud. My wife loves Jar Jar so she helped me getting it to sound right. I also referred a bit to the Star Wars Galactic Phrase Book & Travel Guide by Ben Burtt

    kayladie97: Yeah, I think Luke will have a nice, but active retirement. Ofcourse adventure will have a habit of finding him. I placed this story far into the future, I guess when Luke is about 80, but it could easily work at 120 as well.

    I don't have plans for more stories in this timeframe, but who knows? BUT I do use Luke's character in this timeframe in other fiction. The unfinished project on his workbench is a holocron he is building. This character of Luke appears in another piece of mine set in the far future (I waffle between 400 years and 4000) as The Skywalker Holocron. But writing about the "real" Luke was a lot of fun. Maybe I will visit him (and Zhar Zhar?) again.
  6. Stormtrooper_Shrink Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2004
    star 4
    Of course I had to come and say something. Great job, Anakin, I really like this story and the ideas behind it. Luke needed to veg out a little more in his life, and this showed him doing that.
  7. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    Stormtrooper_Shrink: Thanks. Its as good as it is thanks to your superb Beta Reading skills!
  8. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    Small update tonight. A bit of tightening up, and fixed a few typos that were caught by a Beta Reader.

    Comments still welcome!
  9. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    A lil' bump. Edited some passages, thanks to the help of Stormtrooper_Shrink
  10. Stormtrooper_Shrink Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Feb 11, 2004
    star 4
    ;) Not a problem, Anakin. You're probably sick of me now! :p
  11. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    Stormtrooper_Shrink: No way! You have some M4D B3T4 SK1LLZ!

    In all honesty, the editing experience with you is more pleasant than ones I have had for paying writing gigs. You got a great talent, and though my writing chops are kind of rusty, you have been doing a great job guiding this piece to be better and better!

    Thanks a ton!
  12. Dev_Binks Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 7, 2003
    star 6
    Dis is muy muy good! Yousa skilled at da writing. I actually like it that you included a Gungan, people tend to classify all of da Gungans from Jar Jar.
  13. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    Dev_Binks: Mesa be dankin' yousa for de complimenty.

    Writing a gungan was really fun. As I keep editing this, Zhar Zhar is becoming kind of endeared to me, and I might write more of the Gungan padawan yet!
  14. Marsa Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Feb 23, 2004
    star 2
    I was hoping Bhor was short for Gabor!!

    And I loved this! Luke was perfect, very him. And I never really hated Jar-Jar, but you've shown how much potential Gungan really have!

    UP! ~M
  15. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    Marsa: Yeah I figure name puns are a staple for Star Wars, so its kind of an homage -- kind of.

    Thank you. I love writing Luke, especially old wise Luke.. though his youthful attitudes are still there -- just tempered a bit.

    ---

    Well I posted a new re-edit tonight, some changes prompted by my talented Beta readers. So even if you have read it -- may be worth another read.
  16. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    And the award for the longest neglect of a Beta suggestion goes to....

    Yes, after 10 months, I finally got around to dusting off my fanfic chops and getting back to this. Well, between then and now was a move across country, my kid starting kindergarten, deaths in the family... in other words, "life".

    I hope some take another look at this little piece, and maybe some take a FIRST look.
  17. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    I recently submitted this to be archived. Wish me luck!
  18. SweetPea Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 8, 2004
    star 2
    I really liked this despite my Jar-Jar animosity! Luke was characterized really well, I thought (I thought it was interesting you had him grow a beard) and this Zhar Zhar seems like a smart fellow.

    I am also impressed with your Gungan. It's difficult to do "dialects" and stay consistant-- and I thought you did.
  19. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    SweetPea: Part of this was like "Jar Jar Therapy" -- coming to terms with my inner gungan.

    The Beard (and silver hair) is to emphasis his age (about 80! -- but I imagine him living to be about 200) and his role as more an "Obi Wan" type. He has tranisitioned from the young baby-faced apprentice, and is now the most senior of Jedi, a mentor to all of them.

    I'm actually a bit surprised they have kept Luke baby-faced in the EU (I am sure my view has nothing to do with wearing a full beard myself the past few years!).

    Thanks for reading!
  20. Gina Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 3, 2003
    star 4
    I loved this! Your attention to the details really brought the setting to life, and I loved Zhar Zhar's wide-eyed innocence as he converses to so easily and naturally with Luke. Also loved the way Luke insisted on Zhar Zhar calling him Luke and how he found the Gungan's honesty and openness refreshing (having no one ever question your ideas and statements or engage you in honest conversation would be quite boring, LOL). This seemed so in keeping with Luke's character.

    Excellent vignette! :)
  21. Anakin Starkiller Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 13, 1999
    star 1
    Gina: Thank you for your kind words. I really needed to hear something nice about this piece since it got rejected by the archives. For "grammar and/or spelling errors (punctuation)" and "narrative and/or pacing problems".

    I can't see it myself, but maybe it has to do with Zhar Zhar quoting others in his dialog? *sigh* One reviewere gave me some feedback though. He thought it needed expanding, since it was too short. But that is what I thought a vignette was suppossed to be. Ah well. I never thought about doing more with this, but I might expand it after all, as I've grown to like my Gungan Padawan.

    Thanks for the compliment on The Characterization of Luke. Not to toot my own horn TOO much, but I am proud at how I think I captured it (toot.).
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