Beyond Zombie Babies: A Christmas Present for J_O_E

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by emeraldshadow, Dec 14, 2006.

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  1. emeraldshadow Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2005
    star 3
    ....Although, come to think of it, she never really asked for this.:p



    Title: Zombie Babies
    Author: Emeraldshadow
    Genre: Humor
    Timeframe: Pre YJK
    Characters: Jaina, Zekk, Jacen, Anakin
    Summary: Jaina confesses something to Zekk
    Notes: Jedi_of_Ennth?s Christmas present. The recipient inspired the story herself-in a way-when she typed this historic quote in a PM to me, ?What can I say? Must. Have. J/Z. I'm like a zombie who needs brains.? That?s when I decided I had to write a J/Z story involving that lovely comparison-although, I must admit, this is completely different than what I imagined when I started my midnight mad typing run. She?s just lucky she didn?t get a story about a hutt in a bog;).


    It was a dark and stormy night. It was dark because it was, as was mentioned previously, night, and it was stormy because the forecaster had predicted sunshine. Despite these alarming conditions, Jaina and Jacen had insisted on having a campout on the roof of the Solo family house. Their parents had agreed, after requisite long argument, on the condition that the twins include their younger brother, Anakin. Neither twin was thrilled with this arrangement, but Anakin was quiet and didn?t take up much space, so they soon forgot to be angry.

    They made shadow puppets and told ghost stories, content just to be free of the confines of the house, not realizing that the walls of their tent were much closer together than the walls of their room. Eventually the charm of these simple pastimes would wear off, but, by that time, the children would be tired enough to consider actually going to sleep as an option.

    Anakin stifled a yawn as Jaina twisted her hands together to form a far from intimidating rancor. He refused to admit that he was tired. Any sign of weakness he showed would give his siblings the proof they were looking for that he was too little to hang out with the big kids. It wasn?t fair. He wasn?t even a full two years younger than they were.

    Suddenly a larger shadow eclipsed Jaina?s rancor. Anakin looked around in alarm when he realized that it wasn?t being cast by anything inside the tent. The thing-whatever it was-didn?t feel like either of his parents. ?It?s the zombie stormtrooper!? he cried.

    ?That?s right,? Jacen cackled. ?And you?re going to be the first one to get eaten!?

    Anakin started to scream wordlessly. Jaina dove across the tent and clamped a hand over his mouth. He bit her and continued to scream. Jaina shot Jacen a death glare. ?It?s okay, Anakin,? she assured her brother. ?Jacen was joking. It?s not the zombie stormtrooper. It?s our friend Zekk.?

    ?Zekk?? Anakin said doubtfully.

    Jaina nodded, signaling Jacen to open the entrance flap of the tent and admit a equally doubtful looking Zekk.

    ?Anything wrong?? the street urchin asked.

    ?Not now that you?re here,? Jaina told him.

    Anakin looked at Jacen accusingly. ?Why didn?t you tell me Zekk was coming over to spend the night??

    ?Because it?s a secret,? Jaina admonished.

    ?Yeah,? Jacen chimed in. ?Dad doesn?t like Zekk to spend the night when Jaina is around.?

    ?Why?? Anakin directed the question at Zekk himself, but the tall youth wouldn?t meet his eyes.

    ?It has something to do with babies,? Jacen said sagely.

    Anakin narrowed his eyes in concentration, as he tried to decode Jacen?s words. ?Jaina and Zekk aren?t babies?Oh! He?s worried Jaina and Zekk will have babies if Zekk sleeps in the tent with us.? He turned to Jaina, whom he had always acknowledged as the more worldly of his two siblings. ?Can that happen??

    Jaina looked vaguely ill. ?I don?t think so.?

    ?You should find out for sure,? Anakin suggested. ?You wouldn?t want to start popping out babies in the middle of the ghost stories. It would ruin the campout.?

    Jacen cocked his head to the side, as if mentally picturing the scenario. He shrugged. ?I think it might be kind of cool, but I don?t think that?s how it happens.?

    Zekk shifted uncomfortably. He had experienced misgivings about crashing the campout ever since J
  2. jedi_of_ennth Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Mar 1, 2005
    star 4
    Best. Gift. EVER. [:D]

    The recipient inspired the story herself-in a way-when she typed this historic quote in a PM to me, ?What can I say? Must. Have. J/Z. I'm like a zombie who needs brains.? That?s when I decided I had to write a J/Z story involving that lovely comparison-although, I must admit, this is completely different than what I imagined when I started my midnight mad typing run.

    [face_laugh] I should've known that would come back to haunt me! :p

    Anakin narrowed his eyes in concentration, as he tried to decode Jacen?s words. ?Jaina and Zekk aren?t babies?Oh! He?s worried Jaina and Zekk will have babies if Zekk sleeps in the tent with us.? He turned to Jaina, whom he had always acknowledged as the more worldly of his two siblings. ?Can that happen??
    Jaina looked vaguely ill. ?I don?t think so.?
    ?You should find out for sure,? Anakin suggested. ?You wouldn?t want to start popping out babies in the middle of the ghost stories. It would ruin the campout.?


    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] Wow. There are no words. I can't adequately express how hilarious this whole story is.

    ?First, the lady just gets fatter and fatter until she blows up like a balloon. Then, right before the time comes when she would fly away, she pops and the baby falls out,? Jacen puffed his cheeks out and hit them with the palm of his hand, trying to simulate the popping noise.

    *dies laughing*

    *revives to finish reading the story*

    ?That?s it? That?s all you?re going to say?? Jaina pouted.
    ?I don?t want zombie babies,? Zekk said truthfully.
    ?We could have regular babies.?
    ?Not if you?re a zombie.?
    ?I?m not really a zombie. I?m just like a zombie.?
    ?I can?t take the chance,? came the serious response.


    *dies laughing again*

    Awesome job, Marie! I think this is the funniest thing you've ever written. :D [:D] =D=
  3. brodiew Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 11, 2005
    star 5
    This is a cute vig, Marie. How old are these kids? I had fun with the campout and nervous Jaina, silly Jacen and Anakin discussing the balloon nature of pregnancy, and Jaina's consternation with Zekk's misunderstanding of her Zombie analogy!~ Zekk was so serious. [face_laugh]

    ?That?s it? That?s all you?re going to say?? Jaina pouted.

    ?I don?t want zombie babies,? Zekk said truthfully.

    ?We could have regular babies.?

    ?Not if you?re a zombie.?

    ?I?m not really a zombie. I?m just like a zombie.?

    ?I can?t take the chance,? came the serious response.

    ?Then I guess I?ll have babies with Kyp Durron when I grow up!? Jaina said hotly.

    ?I don?t know who that is,? Zekk hissed back, ?but I hope he likes zombie children!?


    Dropping Kyp's name when they didn't know who he was was also a stroke of genius!

    Great job on this! =D=
  4. Kidan TFN EU Staff

    VIP
    Member Since:
    Jul 20, 2003
    star 5
    ?I don?t want zombie babies,? Zekk said truthfully.

    ?We could have regular babies.?

    ?Not if you?re a zombie.?

    ?I?m not really a zombie. I?m just like a zombie.?

    ?I can?t take the chance,? came the serious response.

    ?Then I guess I?ll have babies with Kyp Durron when I grow up!? Jaina said hotly.

    [face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh][face_laugh]

    Oh that was classic!! Great job!!
  5. emeraldshadow Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2005
    star 3
    j_o_e: Best. Gift. EVER.

    I'm so happy you liked it.[:D]

    I should've known that would come back to haunt me!

    *shrugs* I thought, after all the time you've known me, you would know better, but...:rolleyes: :p

    Wow. There are no words. I can't adequately express how hilarious this whole story is.

    *dies laughing*

    *revives to finish reading the story*

    *dies laughing again*

    Awesome job, Marie! I think this is the funniest thing you've ever written.


    [face_blush] Thank you. *beams with pride*

    brodiew: This is a cute vig, Marie.

    Thank you.

    How old are these kids?

    I'm thinking Anakin's about five, making the twins six or seven, which, if you want to get all technical and canonical about it, means they wouldn't have met Zekk yet.:p

    I had fun with the campout and nervous Jaina, silly Jacen and Anakin discussing the balloon nature of pregnancy, and Jaina's consternation with Zekk's misunderstanding of her Zombie analogy!

    I had a lot of fun with them too.

    Zekk was so serious.


    Zekk always takes everything seriously.

    Dropping Kyp's name when they didn't know who he was was also a stroke of genius!Great job on this!

    :D

    Kidan: Oh that was classic!!

    Hey, if Zekk's not an option...

    Great job!!

    Thank you.

  6. Jade_Max Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Jun 28, 2002
    star 5
    *dies laughing* You, m'girl have a real talent for humor!


    I loved the Zombie thing with Zekk being so serious, it totally cracked me up!

    But, I think my favorite line is this one:

    Jaina grabbed his arm, mistaking his movement for an escape attempt. ?Please don?t go Zekk. I?m sorry about my brothers. Anakin?s a baby and Jacen?s an idiot. You can?t hold it against them.?

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]

    Jaina sure knows her brothers! [face_laugh]

    Oh, and Han patrolling the roof and Zekk worring about dying before he reaches his teens was just priceless! Awesome stuff :D

  7. emeraldshadow Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2005
    star 3
    *dies laughing* You, m'girl have a real talent for humor!

    [face_blush] Thank you.

    I loved the Zombie thing with Zekk being so serious, it totally cracked me up!

    Well, being born with an appetite for human brain is a serious birth defect.:p

    Jaina sure knows her brothers!

    As long as they?re acting predictably, once the NJO begins, all bets are off.

    Oh, and Han patrolling the roof and Zekk worring about dying before he reaches his teens was just priceless! Awesome stuff

    Thank you again.
  8. UnderCoverJedi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Jul 19, 2006
    star 2
    That sounds about right for brothers! :p

    =D=
  9. emeraldshadow Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2005
    star 3
    What can I say. Those Solo kids are kind of wacky.:p
  10. Emerald_Lady Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Dec 18, 2006
    star 3
    [face_laugh]This was my favorite part. I laughed so hard, again...I love your stuff.
  11. emeraldshadow Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2005
    star 3
    I have a new fan, yay![face_dancing]

    Thanks for reviewing.:D
  12. ZekksGoddess Force Ghost

    Member Since:
    Oct 2, 2004
    star 4
    ?You should find out for sure,? Anakin suggested. ?You wouldn?t want to start popping out babies in the middle of the ghost stories. It would ruin the campout.?
    [face_laugh] Ah, you?ve got to love kids.

    Zekk threw the blanket over his head, curled up into a ball, and tried to think lumplike thoughts. He had a terrible premonition about dieing before he reached his teens.
    This is too great. I love it.


    Brilliance. Utter brilliance.
  13. Arwen_Djo Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Jul 3, 2006
    star 3
    *dies from laughter*

    I don't know where to begin!!!! Her threatening to have zombie babies with Kyp is priceless!
  14. SilSolo Jedi Grand Master

    Member Since:
    Mar 5, 2004
    star 5
    *dies laughing as well* very nice, not that I expect any less of you, one of the best J/Z writers here on this board
  15. emeraldshadow Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2005
    star 3
    ZekksGoddess: Ah, you?ve got to love kids.

    Yep, they offer the best comedy material.

    This is too great. I love it.

    Not funny for Zekk but funny for us.

    Brilliance. Utter brilliance.

    Thank you.

    Arwen_Djo: *dies from laughter*

    *sighs* This always happens in my threads.

    I don't know where to begin!!!!

    The beginning?

    Her threatening to have zombie babies with Kyp is priceless!

    I just had to add that in.

    Silsolo: *dies laughing as well*

    What did I tell you? Every thread. *gets wheelbarrow for the bodies*

    very nice, not that I expect any less of you, one of the best J/Z writers here on this board

    [face_blush] Thank you.






  16. Ewok-Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2006
    star 4
    *chokes-on-angus burger*
    :eek: ..........[face_laugh] [face_laugh] [face_laugh]


    GREAT! this is the greatest, stupidest, most ridiculous story iv ever read! somebody needs to make one about anakin or the twins asking han or leia (preferably han) where babies come from!
    pm me if anyone does!
    oh, and just to illustrate my point (may take me a few mins to find link) ...
    here we go! One day, luke skywalkers son gets curious about the birds and the bees...


    one problem with the above link... i cant seem to work it.... so i signed up for atom films... but if i do get it workin (iv had trouble with atomfilms in the past) then il tell yu.
  17. emeraldshadow Jedi Knight

    Member Since:
    Oct 7, 2005
    star 3
    *chokes-on-angus burger*

    *whacks Ewok on the back*

    You okay?

    GREAT! this is the greatest, stupidest, most ridiculous story iv ever read!

    Thank you.

    somebody needs to make one about anakin or the twins asking han or leia (preferably han) where babies come from!

    I could do that.


    pm me if anyone does!

    Will do.
  18. Ewok-Kenobi Jedi Master

    Member Since:
    Aug 11, 2006
    star 4
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