JCC Embrace The FU - Formerly the STAR WARS IS BAD thread

I don't see it as nitpicking to point out that the Disney/Abrams ST basically destroyed the story arc of the OT in order to make a movie that recapitulates the original Star Wars. And The Last Jedi is mostly a bland rebellion against that rebellion. This infighting over the narrative direction of post OT Star Wars would encourage most reasonable people to give up trying to construct in universe rationales for what's going on. But of course we're not reasonable people: we're Star Wars fans.

 

Could be worse. We could've been told that actually micro-biotic creatures who feed on the Force control the universe. So all of the events & the players in the prior 6 movies were mere pawns in a battle between omnipotent bacteria.

 

It was always broken.

 

It's a time honored tradition. ESB broke ANH, and then got retconned in RotJ, all of which was broken by the PT, and then wiped clean by TFA, with a course reversal in TLJ.

Good news for Episode 9 though: Han and Luke are still alive! If you thought they were dead, then you don't know Star Wars!

 

They should do this solely as a troll. Don’t explain it, don’t comment on it, just have them both be in the background of several group shots.

 

They're the hormones of SW .

 

Leia turning out to be Luke's sister was worse than Maul surviving.

 

didn't Maul have robot-spider legs in the cartoons ? or have I imagined that ?

 

He did.

 

Lightsabers are red.
Sometimes they're blue.
Star Wars is awful,
And so are you.

 

Aww, you actually thought that because X received a terrible lightsaber blow and then fell down a bottomless shaft, that meant s/he was dead? That's so cute. Also, welcome back, Boba Fett!

 

Yes, that he built out of scrap. He has an engineering degree you know. At least it wasn't all ridiculous. He also received assistance & food from a friendly snake.

 

Voldemaul?

 

It's funny because it hurts.

 

The good news for the Maul revival is that Episode IX can now be a full on ROTJ copy. Bring back Jabba!

 

Between episodes Maz will put on 1200 pounds & become a gangster. She'll capture Chewie & make him her sex-slave-dancer.

Should I have used spoiler tags?

 

I don't understand what people's objection to Lucas's idea was. Frankly, it does sound better than what we've seen in the ST, and makes a lot more sense of the arc of the Star Wars films than anything else we've seen.

The Galaxy has went through marked unrest and pretty wild oscillations in political power. We're supposed to believe this is all secondary to balance of power between a few hundred force users on each side, and that these vagueries are somehow attributable to the "Will of the Force." It makes as much sense to me as anything that this umbrella term is actually just the side effect of power politics between some other entities. There's no reason one couldn't tell that story.

 

The ST is supposed to follow on from the OT. Is there anything in the those 3 movies, featuring Luke, Han, Leia, Vader etc that lead you to think that the very next episode would feature a micro-biotic world? With tiny creatures who feed on the Force & control everything?

 

Narrator (of Episode IX or whatever): Don't worry, nobody dies in this franchise. They just get really big boo boos.

(Luke has a head bandage and is shaking his head)

Narrator: What did I tell you?

 

why would he make them ? Just send off for them from Acme .

I'm interested to know what his ideas were , I kinda wish he'd put this stuff in those cartoons .

 

Lucas may have the last laugh. Reportedly his micro-biotic creatures are in the prior 6 movies. When we get around to 16K HD screens we'll be able to see them, & they'll be noticeably absent from the Disney ST. George wins!

 

You realize that you can have a plot of that sort without actually focusing the action of the story at the microscopic level? That revelations and discovery by human[oid] characters can nonetheless drive towards that central revelation?

 

"It's heroin"