JCC Embrace The FU - Formerly the STAR WARS IS BAD thread

If they could go five minutes without being utterly terrible first.

 

Also applicable to this thread.

 

Personally I believe that we should observe a minute of silence every May around Memorial Day to commemorate just how extraordinarily awful Attack of the Clones was. In time, the meaning of Memorial Day may shift yet again to become exclusively the day when we remember the most awful things about Star Wars. Every time I catch a scene of it, it showcases how it is even worse than I remember. It's almost boastful in its awfulness. Bad with zero humility.

 

As part of our mourning, we should all take a hand full of rough, coarse sand, and place it to our chests, allowing it to irritate us.

 

I wondered where you were going there .

I once had it off on a beach , tell ya - never again .

 

It's totally the "sand is coarse" of the first movie.

 

I found some pics of my old pitch “Watchmen but starring Yarael Poof” that was summarily rejected by the hacks at Lucasfilm.

 

Space is cold, sand is course, and only Sith deal in absolutes.

 

well that's a crap poem. here try this one:

space is cold
sand is coarse
without the midi-chlorians, life could not exist and we would have no knowledge of the force

 

It rhymes but is it like poetry?

 

Tom should make a rap song consisting of only prequel lines.

 

your mad hopping moves do you no favor
because we will decide this duel
by our skills with a lightsaber

 

Space ship is too cold
But, sand is irritating
Lava Surfing - why?

 

Buss it
At an end your rule is and not short enough was it

 

Strong enough, you are not.
It's a Sith legend.
Coming in too hot
My little green friend.

 

Don't call me friend, baby
Faith in your new apprentice, misplaced may be

 

lol i'm not writing a whole song but here's a limerick.

i'm haunted by the kiss you should never have gave me
to the forward command center take me
it's treason then
and not just the men
i think he's a she and i think she's a changeling

 

one more.

did you ever hear the tragedy of darth pagueis the wise?
master yoda, you survived. surprised?
at last we will have revenge
she's carrying twins
so this is how liberty dies

 

You're the Sith Lord!
The ambassadors wish to board
The negotiations were short
He's no Harrison Ford

 

If we can't get the shield generators fixed, we'll be a sitting duck
A T-14 hyperdrive generator!! Thee in luck
I have a bad feeling about this
There's always a bigger fish
My tongue is fat, Ou-oh. Ow, hey, I'm stuck

 

Circle with the Naboo
Who deals in absolutes? The Sith do.
The younglings are dead? Oh no!
Shadrach, Meshach, Abednego

 

I prefer Star Wars Haiku

It was rough and coarse
Killed them all, did Anakin
She died of a broken heart

 

it's a rule fundamental
a law quite profound
Obi-wan wins
'cause he has higher ground

 

Do you want to buy some death stiiiiiicks?
You don’t want to sell me death stiiiiicks!
Yoooou want-to-go-home...And rethink your liiiiife,
IIIIIIII want-to-go-home...and rethink...MY...LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIFE!


Yo, my name’s Palpy T, and I’m rulin’ your senate,
Installed by Jar Jar B, you know it was kismet.
I’m the sith lord master, and the Jedi will pay their debt,
How my convoluted plan worked? Well that isn’t clear yet.

Mesa called Jar Jar Binks. Mesa your humble servant.
Mesa called
Mesa called
Binks Jar Jar Binks
Mesa your humble servant
Servant
Binks
Mesa Mesa Mesa
Mesa called Mesa called
Jar Jar Binks
Jar Jar Binks