JCC Embrace The FU - Formerly the STAR WARS IS BAD thread

Me logging in here everyday is the equivalent of looking into the mirror, thinking I'm about to have a great time, and realizing instead that I'm about to be ****** by a decaying corpse.

I mean, if Jack had gone back to Room 237 everyday and pretended to be surprised that everything was awful every time.

 

Queues are great. It's just the French and Italians and Spanish and all Arabs and Chinese and Americans and Portugese etc who can't handle them.

 

I'm surprised about the Chinese , I would've thought they'd like a queue because they like to be orderly (and yes I like to make stereotypes )

 

no mate, they have no idea how to queue. It's just a disorganised milling around a designated area. Only one group truly know the art of forming a good queue then waiting in it, and they exported it well.

 

Russians at a buffet are the worst.

 

I thought German buffets were the wurst?

 

I heard German buffets were all reich.

 

german puns? i did nazi this coming.

 

Please don't lump the bulk of Americans in with the Chinese -- having seen both, there's a certain section of Americans who fit the bill, but the bulk of people traveling much less so.

 

Are you speaking Gungan?

 

No, that'd be more like "Meesa no blah blah minstrel coding fandom refuses to engage with blah blah blah."

 

Yeah I've never seen it. Boarding for a flight to the US requires, because you're unique and special snowflakes, additional screening (because one person with a shoe once tried and failed at a thing, all the security! Oh, the gun massacres? Unavoidable. No way to prevent them) is a tiresome requirement we have to sit through. "Excuse ME, I'm flying to America, why do I have to wait here?" TSA requirement. "Well I'm an American." OK great but your government did this to all of us. No other country requires it.

But everywhere I've been, someone will think they're special enough to get to the front of a queue. They'll either labour under the misapprehension that their passport and identity (with its associated Freedom units) is a way to reach the front of the line, or they'll act as if they were surprised the somewhat-orderly line they just tried to skip even existed, then be slightly put out when they're told to go to the back of it, not jump in 1/10th of the way down.

Sorry dp4m, you're in the nation of offensive queuers.

 

Yeah, I understand the bit about the TSA -- which has nothing to do with American queuers -- but I've literally never seen anything else you describe.

AT WORST I've seen Americans start to take off their shoes overseas where it's not required because they have a collective quasi-Stockholm Syndrome...

So you're wrong in this instance, unless you yourself don't know how to board with Groups 1 - 9, by group, and status, and penis size...

 

prequel rant incoming

So I was thinking, a Kenobi film might not be bad. McGregor's a good actor. Wants to give it a go. With a good script, and a good director, who knows? He might yet vindicate his earlier portrayals.
But then I thought, what could it possibly be about? With Obi-Wan staking out for Luke for 18 years? How is that going to be entertaining? I guess something could lead him off-planet to protect Luke's location... but is he really doing that? One of the most talented Jedi is hiding out in the desert to protect some boy? He must have been really close to the father...
Wait no. They hated each other's guts. Right from the get go. Were forced upon each other, argued and argued, and then battled to the death.
I get that the idea was to make them a duo but I've only seen them bicker. And George Lucas made the brilliant move of supplanting his lead actor in the second movie. seemingly to underscore the lack of bonding.
So yeah, I totally don't buy Obi-Wan seeing Anakin as "a good friend". What a missed opportunity. The prequels could have been heartbreaking. But instead they became "this scene is to establish that, that scene is to establish this".

The prequels are what made Star Wars bad.
**** that Obi-wan film.

 

Welcome to at least 2002, but also 2005. That miereneuker forgot his story was about relationships and made it exactly as you said. This before this before that.

 

Let’s all get to the heart of our feelings.

 

I feel you're wrong to like the prequels and should not.

 

I guess it all started when I was five and didn't immediately reject Star Wars like I ought to have. From there it's really just been a downward spiral of self-destructive attachment to pew pew space battle films.

 

No, **** THIS Obi-wan film:

Obi-wan is stuck on Tatooine, biding his time when a warlord turf war erupts between Jabba the Hutt and his nephew/larva, Jubjub the Hutt that threatens to bring an increased Imperial presence down on the planet, which is of course the last thing Obi-wan needs. He's forced to intervene in a crime boss/warlord fight to restore the status quo, But the trick of course is that he can't reveal his identity to anyone, nor can he use his lightsaber or any obvious force powers. But how far is he willing to go to protect Luke? How deep into the criminal underworld of Tatooine can he descend without betraying the Jedi code? Will he have to choose between his honor and his duty?

 

I see the Obi-Wan film as being akin to Lars and the Real Girl.

It would be magnificent; it could stay local, so no getting away from Luke or Tatooine. There would be a well developed supporting cast only interested in Ben’s welfare, but completely engaging in there own right (I think it should include a droid with a comedic bent, but that may be a stretch). His delusions would explain why he’s a ****ing liar in the OT.

The only piece of this puzzle I’m missing is what would be His blow up doll.

 

I think you guys are approaching this all wrong. The film Kenobi has to be about the man. But is there anything that prescribes it taking place during Luke's time on Tatooine? I think it would be a more interesting film if it dealt with this death. It could open with his duel against Darth Vader and the moment the lightsaber hit. From there, the screen could be black whenever his consciousness was inactive. Maybe they could just play soft white noise for the sound track. Occasionally, we could see the small moments where Obi-wan's presence reappeared for Luke, then toggle back to the nothingness. Sometimes we could see him struggle with his insubstantiality. And always the threat of receding back into nothing. Another way to tackle this is to depict how the Force energy is extant in the world that Obi-wan uses to shape his ghost form. So maybe there could just be some breathtaking shots of the Tunisian desert naturescape or the cloudless blue sky. It would really shed light on what it means to become a Force ghost.

 

No. It needs to be about family.

 

Right, so, Obi-wan’s double secret son Mobi-wan, who looks exactly like him so they can still use Ewan McGregor, has been raised on a desert planet by his aunt and uncle...

 

I actually feel that Star Wars has been pretty radically neglectful of the notion of human relationships. Only ROTJ really tried to address it, and even that only turned on someone's yearning for the Platonic ideal of a family relationship they never actually achieved. But almost no one interacts in ways that exist outside their official relationships. It is sort of bizarre to have a rule against attachments when even normal people don't have them.