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Zorba the Hutt Sentenced to 45 Years

Discussion in 'Literature' started by PrinceXizor, Mar 21, 2002.

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  1. PrinceXizor

    PrinceXizor Former TF.N Foreign Book Cover Staff star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Oh, maybe I shouldn't create a thread just for this, but it's too funny. [face_laugh]

    From Holonetnews #47 :

    [blockquote]GIRIGARD, KIP - The tiny inhabitants of Kip have dealt a large blow to the Desilijic Hutt clan with the conviction of legitimate businessman Zorba Desilijic Tiure for the illegal removal of ulikuo stones. The gems are valued for aesthetics and industrial applications, but their cultural significance warrants unauthorized mining a crime punishable by lifetime imprisonment.

    Prime Justice Doori-Doori sentenced the influential Hutt business leader to 15 Kip years (roughly 45 standard years) imprisonment in the Girigard Subsurface Correctional Facility. Zorba's lawyer, famed Nimbanel attorney Bequin Fobas attempted to appeal, only to be reminded by the magistrate that Kip has no appeal process.

    The Grand Council of Nal Hutta sought extradition of Zorba, so that he could be tried by a council of peers within Hutt Space, but local laws blockaded that legal avenue as well. Third party Republic Judiciaries backed Kip provisions preventing Zorba's departure.

    Not all Hutt potentates were against the trial, as rival Besadii clan leader Aruk the Hutt applauded the verdict. "Zorba has been a shameful pus-filled boil on the glorious Hutt business community, and this sentencing is a heated lancing long overdue. His selfish antics have given an unwarranted criminal taint to the Hutt reputation that can now begin to rebuild with his absence."

    Desilijic clan leaders will abide by the sentence, but have launched their own investigation into the affair, believing Zorba to have been set up by business rivals. "We will respect the findings of the Kip Prime Justice," said Desilijic leader Jiliac the Hutt, "but it's our contention that our brother was deliberately misled as to the nature of local customs by parties looking to profit from his absence."

    Zorba's son Jabba the Hutt, an influential shipping magnate in the Outer Rim, wasted no time seizing Zorba's properties on Nar Shaddaa, Shaum Hii and Tyne's Horky in an effort to protect them.

    Kip penal security forces have been placed on full alert as breakout attempts were deemed likely by the Prime Justice. [/blockquote]

    [image=http://www.holonetnews.com/48/regional/img/story_5.gif]
     
  2. Sturm Antilles

    Sturm Antilles Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Jun 22, 2000
    Ah you beat me to it!

    New issue is up, people.
     
  3. ReaperFett

    ReaperFett Jedi Knight star 6

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 1999
    Zorba rules :)
     
  4. loser_fett

    loser_fett Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Nov 5, 2001
    Just about to do one myself Xizor. Score one for the GoDV series I guess.
     
  5. PrinceXizor

    PrinceXizor Former TF.N Foreign Book Cover Staff star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    [image=http://www.holonetnews.com/meta/img/ads/468_6.gif]

    [face_laugh] :) ?[face_plain]
     
  6. Bubba

    Bubba Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2000
    "On 2:21, we reported on the secession of the Bimkall sector from the Republic. Upon further review, that sector does not exist. HoloNet News apologizes for any confusion."


    LOL! :D
     
  7. PrinceXizor

    PrinceXizor Former TF.N Foreign Book Cover Staff star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Yeah, that I laughed real hard when I saw that. :D

    And the Baby Ludi case is beginning to be really, really... hum... big ? :)

    EDIT : Yippie ! More on Blob racing ! Did I mention I LOVE Blob racing ?
     
  8. Infiltrator

    Infiltrator Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Jan 4, 2002
    the whole thing is funny
     
  9. Valiento

    Valiento Jedi Knight star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2000
    I must point out that on page 154 of the hutt gambit, we learn that zorba still has power and holdings with the hutts and sent a representive during the hutt council.

    Also we learn of someone who had a time travel accident as well, :D.


    "225-year Old Man's Secret? Time Dilation

    Over a century old and
    looking good: Bosbit Matarcher.
    WOZIN, DELEMEDE - To look at him, you'd swear he wasn't a day over 35 standard years old, but Bosbit Matarcher's birth records confirm the unthinkable - he's 225 years old. His secret? Faulty relativistic shielding. "I got what I thought was a deal on this ship," says Matarcher, pointing to his antique Delemedian starhopper. "I engaged the jump drive for a trip in outsystem. It took about two hours. When I got out, it was 200 years later." Matarcher is taking it all in stride. "Well, truth to tell, when I left, home was pretty shoddy and run down, but now Delemede is a thriving place. I can't wait to get back, but this time I'll fly transit."

    And Vob bitas(Bob Vitas, ;)) is shot for cheating in a blob race, :D. You might of heard of Bob Vitas as being the creator of the unofficial and not always accurate Unofficial Encyclapedia.
     
  10. PrinceXizor

    PrinceXizor Former TF.N Foreign Book Cover Staff star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Jul 4, 2001
    Ho-Hum... Attention please, all personal :

    [blockquote]Holo Critics Preemptively Bemoan Summer Season


    CORE WORLDS NODE - At a gathering of the most influential media critics, Core World Critics Association President Jaysa Namoor began lambasting the holomedia industry on the upcoming summer season. "Some readers say I've been writing the same review for the past five years. Well, that's because Adarlon keeps pumping out the same holo for the past five years," said Namoor, eliciting applause from her colleagues. Her tirade included the usual attack against "cardboard characterization, offensive liquid-based humor, bone-numbing full sim effects, and juvenile anthropocentric plots." Not having seen the holos, she nonetheless panned the anticipated summer titles Cataclysm Prism 4, Whelping Day, Split Infinitive, Lightspeed Lightweight, Tenta-kill 5, Another Idiot's Array 2, Crimson Empire III and A Google of Gornts.[/blockquote]

    Crimson Empire III... [face_laugh] [face_plain]

    Funny... But scary, in another way...

    Or... 'Summer Titles'... Would we get CEIII this summer ??? :eek:

    EDIT : Well, I'm through it. Less 'meat' this time, but as always a good, fun and instructing reading.
     
  11. Bubba

    Bubba Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2000
    "Crimson Empire III?" Now that one surprised me.
     
  12. wampa

    wampa Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jul 8, 1998
    Does this mean that Zorba's out of EU limbo? Sweet! I guess it's only a matter of time until Ken Palpatine comes back too.
     
  13. Mavrick889

    Mavrick889 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 1999
    Wait, so did Zorba break out of prison in the Glove of DV series? I don't remember. If not, he must have gotten out on good behavior because he only served 27 standard years.
     
  14. Valiento

    Valiento Jedi Knight star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2000
    Isard broke him out according to the EC.
     
  15. Mavrick889

    Mavrick889 Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 1999
    Ah yes, that's right.

    Zorba's a great character. I'm hoping we get to see some more of him during this period (cameos are always cool, as in his appearance in the Episode I Adventures)
     
  16. Charlemagne19

    Charlemagne19 Chosen One star 8

    Registered:
    Jul 30, 2000
    Ken probably became a student of Luke Skywalker, trained, got drunk...had a fling with one of Luke's adopted daughters and ended up married to her and an appliance salesman
     
  17. Valiento

    Valiento Jedi Knight star 7

    Registered:
    Mar 19, 2000
    Well, the math for zorba fits in just fine with star wars encyclapedia's saying he had been in prison for more than 20 years.

    Here is the line from rebel dawn about him having some power from within in his jail cell:
    "Jabba noted that even his parent, Zorba had sent a representative. The two of them were not close, but it was comforting to know that Desjilac was well-represented and that all the clan familes had taken Jiliac's summons seriously."(154)
     
  18. TalonCard

    TalonCard •Author: Slave Pits of Lorrd •TFN EU Staff star 5 VIP

    Registered:
    Jan 31, 2001
    Yeah, I wondered about that too. I guess the Kipites (Kipains? Kippits?) must have locked down on Zorba's links to the outside galaxy later on, given that he doesn't know about his son's death. But another GODV reference is always welcome. Really, how can anyone continue to ignore the series?

    TC
     
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