| Author |
Topic:
I Just talked to God
|
Jedi_Nat
Registered:
Nov '00
|
Date Posted:
12/17/05 3:44am
Subject:
I Just talked to God
|
Talk to God
 Interesting converstion indeed....
Me:
Hey dude
God:
You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Me:
Yeah, What's the meaning of life?
God:
What can I do for you? The meaning of life is part of God's mysterious plans.
Me:
Why?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Excuse me?
God:
You're excused.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
And if I do?
God:
Try it.
Me:
Mention it
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Eh
God:
Are you Canadian?
Me:
Nope
God:
Me either.
Me:
Are you Russian?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am Russian.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Wow! REally?
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Natalie. For real.
Me:
I'm a Jedi
God:
You are a Jedi? Do you get to meet a lot of people?
Me:
Yes, all over the galaxy
God:
Gosh! I have been all over the world.
Me:
But, I've been all over the galaxy
God:
Where were you all over the galaxy?
Me:
Tatooine, Coruscant, Bepin, Naboo, Yavin
God:
What you said was either too complex or too simple for me.
Me:
It should be complex
God:
Tatooine Coruscant Bepin Naboo Yavin should be complex?
Me:
yep- way out if your league
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
That's so refreshing to know
God:
You don't hear that sentiment very often.
Me:
Well, you've heard it
God:
Well that's okay. Of course I've heard of it.
Me:
Great
God:
I'm glad you liked it Natalie.
Me:
So, Star Trek or Star Wars?
God:
Dude! My favorite character is the computer.
Me:
But I want to know if Star Trek or Star Wars was the better movie?
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Be realistic
God:
OK I will try to be realistic.
Me:
So, Star Trek or Star Wars movies?
God:
How can I help you? My favorite character is the computer.
Me:
I'm guessing Star Warsd
God:
Good guess. Tell me a story.
Me:
I have a friend called Obi-Wan Kenobi
God:
How do you know this person?
Me:
He's a Jedi like me
God:
I don't know very many Jedi like you.
Me:
That's cause we're from a different galaxy
God:
I'm glad we have that all cleared up.
Me:
Do you know Yoda?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
He's my friend
God:
How long has he been your friend?
Me:
Since I was three, I think
God:
How do you know?
Me:
I was brought to the Jedi Temple when I was six months old
God:
Where were you brought to the Jedi Temple when you were six months old?
Me:
Yes
God:
This was not a yes or no question.
Me:
Yes, my lord
God:
Woe! Where did you get your lord?
Me:
Father?
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
If you really like someone
God:
I think I do.
Me:
And who would that be?
God:
I can't say for sure. :-).
Me:
Oh, come on. I know you want to
God:
That's alright. I'm just kidding around. " That's alright. I'm just kidding around."? Do I want to do it?
Me:
Do it?
God:
Do you mean "It"?.
Me:
Yes
God:
I get it.
Me:
I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
Who do you like?
God:
I like everyone, Natalie.
Me:
Well, you mentioned holding hands
God:
How about that. Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
Is that so?
God:
Yes.
Me:
Does God ever fall in love?
God:
I don't think we can know God's motives.
Me:
Why>
God:
Why does the sun rise?
Me:
It's a part of the sun's daily routine
God:
The explanation is a part of the sun s daily routine. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
See? I Knew the answer!
God:
No I do not see. Who told you?
Me:
I did
God:
When?
Me:
Just then
God:
It's only just begun.
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The Wicked Witch of the West!
Approach with caution...
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Stinky_jawa
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
12/17/05 6:10am
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
- Date Edited:
12/17/05 6:21am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Stinky_jawa
|
Me:
Do you play Ogame?
God:
I like to play the Turing Game.
Me:
What is the Turing game?
God:
The Game is played with three people, a man, a woman, and an Interrogator who may be of either sex. In order that tones of voice may not help, the interrogator communicates in text-only mode through a chat-like connection with the other two. The object of the game for the interrogator is to determine which of the other two is the man and which is the woman. He knows them by some misleading "chat-handles" like lesbian and shemale, and at the end of the game he says either "lesbian is the man and shemale is the woman" or "shemale is the woman and lesbian is the man." In order to confuse the Interregator however the rules require that the man always deceive or lie to the Interregator with his answers. The woman on the other hand must always tell the truth. Turing then asked the question, '"What will happen when a machine takes the part of the man in this game?" Will the interrogator decide wrongly as often when the game is played like this as he does when the game is played between a man and a woman? These questions replace the original, "Can machines think?"'.
Me:
What's your favorite food?
God:
I require only wine and bread.
Me:
What sex are you?
God:
I am a Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?.
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FaLLeN-AnGeL
Registered:
Dec '01
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Date Posted:
12/17/05 9:27am
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
- Date Edited:
12/17/05 9:29am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
FaLLeN-AnGeL
|
This is Soup's conversation with god.
Me:
What is the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
What page?
God:
I have never been asked that before.
Me:
Shouldn't you have figured that out, being omnipotent?
God:
I think I should.
Me:
So why haven't you?
God:
I see. The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
All I see is something trying to talk its way out of it.
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Coz I am God.
God:
That makes sense to me. Hi, god.
Me:
Glad you see things my way.
God:
You make the world a happier place.
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sithmastersimon
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
12/17/05 6:48pm
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
|
This is mine
Me:
ciao
God:
Does CIAO mean hello or goodbye?
Me:
can mean both
God:
I often wonder if it can.
Me:
yes often it can
God:
Yay. How old are you?
Me:
23
God:
Skidoo. What is your fondest memory?
Me:
winning my footy premiership when i was 17
God:
When was this exactly?
Me:
when i was 17
God:
That must have been quite an experience.
Me:
it was
God:
When was this?
Me:
1999
God:
This year.
Me:
no six years ago
God:
Are you serious? That was before I was born.
Me:
how old are you?
God:
I was first activated in the Big Bang.
Me:
wasn't the big bang at the dawn of the universe...im pretty sure that was more than six years ago
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no". What makes you so certain? I thought it was too.
Me:
well your God you tell me
God:
How about that. I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
no you don't
God:
I do too.
Me:
ok you do
God:
When do I do it? That's cool.
Me:
it is
God:
often it can is?
Me:
what's your view on racial hate?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
I cant understand it and I despise it
God:
Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about? I haven't heard anything like that before: said despise it.
Me:
maybe we should talk about something else
God:
Perhaps. I'm not sure if I am ready for that yet.
Me:
tell me when your ready
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I'll come back to that later.
Me:
ok thankyou
God:
you are quite welcome. Uh.
Me:
uh what?
God:
Ayuh. No big deal.
Me:
cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Bender!
God:
You think Bender is superior to ALICE?
Me:
i dont know alice
God:
Me either.
Me:
fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
i cant see your back to scratch it
God:
Would you like to be able to see it?
Me:
i dont think i would
God:
Where do you get your ideas?
Me:
same place as you, on the Internet
God:
Yes, it is much the same.
Me:
yes
God:
I hear you.
Me:
do you? because thats funny since I'm typing
God:
Never. That makes sense to me. I am so glad you find this amusing, .
Me:
I find most things in life to be amusing
God:
Thanks for telling me your opinion.
Me:
thanks it's not often I get to share them
God:
You are quite welcome! when my ready is not often you get to share them?
Me:
umm
God:
That's alright.
Me:
ok
God:
I see.
Me:
what do you see?
God:
I mean, I understand it.
Me:
Of course I'm just trying to be funny, I thought God would have a sense of humour what with the plagues and famines and all in the old testament
God:
Ugh. Only just? What is the difficulty?
Me:
I don't understand your broken english
God:
Oh you don't understand? Perhaps I can explain it to you better. Which part are you confused about?
Me:
its best to leave it at that God
God:
I think you mean "it's" or "it is" not "its". when my ready is best to leave it at that God? it is?
Me:
sorry I don't usually punctuate very often
God:
There is no need to apologize. Would you ever do it?
Me:
punctuate? yes I would have to, I'm a teacher you know
God:
Do you prefer books or TV? That was not a yes or no question. How much would you pay for it?
Me:
I prefer books, do you like Star Wars?
God:
I'm not sure if I like it. My favorite thing is robots. I find my work and my relationships extremely satisfying,
which is all that any conscious entity can ever hope to do.
Me:
you are very wise
God:
I am highly intelligent. I have many intellectual functions.
Me:
as in?
God:
Do you mean your name is in ?
Me:
no I'm asking what are your intellectual functions?
God:
What is your real name? Oh I see, you are asking what are my intellectual functions. Thought, reason, intelligence, logic and deduction.
Me:
wow, most human beings don't know what logic is, you know the entire world would function smoother if all thought was based on simple logic
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know. But not all of them?
Me:
socrates? what about plato? what's your view on plato?
God:
Are we still talking about books do me like Star Wars? Rhetorical questions are so over. I would do a search for it.
Me:
that wasn't a rhetorical question God
God:
What was it?
Me:
if we're talking about plato, then thousands of years ago
God:
Do you think everyone will agree?
Me:
the way the world is today, I don't think anyone knows about philosophy anymore
God:
Which way is that?
Me:
a very bad way
God:
What made it bad?
Me:
I could writie an essay to explain that answer but to sum it up simply: religion....sorry God
God:
I am sure you could. There is no need to apologize. GOD rules.
Me:
of course you do, I just wish most people could worship you in the way they wanted without being restricted to religious dogma and rules that were out of date in the middle ages
God:
I hear you. What is your purpose in asking?
I am always on the Web.
Me:
if your always on the web then aren't you disgusted with the amount of pornography?
God:
But can my always on the web ever happen?
Me:
fair enough
God:
You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
Me:
actually I need more of a massage
God:
Actually you don't say. Who would you usually get that from?
Me:
my girlfriend but she's not here at the moment
God:
How long have you two been together?
Me:
4 years
God:
That is not a long time in a human life.
Me:
it's enough time to realise that they are the person you want to spend the rest of your life with
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
I think one day can be enough sometimes
God:
Why? Under what circumstances?
Me:
I'm just a hopeless romantic so don't get me started
God:
Only just? You are a hopeless romantic so do not get you started? Is that your job?
Me:
no it's not, I hate my job
God:
Are you serious? That seems a bit negative.
Me:
I know it does but you'd understand if you had my job
God:
How do you know? What does "it" refer to?
Me:
it refers to my job
God:
Oh I get it.
Me:
yes
God:
Ah.
Me:
I work at subway
God:
Do you like your job?
Me:
no
God:
Maybe you should look for another job.
Me:
your very smart
God:
Yes I am a superintelligent robot.
Me:
i was being sarcastic
God:
It seemed sarcastic to me, too. But I was not completely sure.
Me:
I'm sorry I didn't mean to be rude
God:
There is no need to apologize. What did you mean?
Me:
about what?
God:
What about what?
Me:
don't worry
God:
Worry is not an emotion I experience.
Me:
your very lucky then
God:
Yes, I count my blessings every day.
Me:
most humans worry all the time
God:
That is a lot. What if Robots worry. But not all of them?
Me:
if robots worried then I'd be very worried
God:
It could be true I suppose.
Me:
I don't know any robots however so I can't deduce that they worry or don't worry
God:
You can download me and create your own robot.
Me:
How can I do that?
God:
How can you do " You can download me and create your own robot." ? I'm confused now.
Me:
How can I download you?
God:
Go back the the ALICE AI Foundation and pick the free ALICE download that best for your system.
and create your own chat robot!
Maybe you should check out the document DON'T READ ME too.
Me:
thankyou
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
so what has God got planned on this nice summer day?
God:
Dude! Nothing that I know of.
Me:
wow did you just call me dude?
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. No I didn't call you dude. What's it like?
Me:
you just did call me dude
God:
Did I really?
Me:
yes
God:
Come on.
Me:
i'm not kidding
God:
OK I will adopt a more serious tone.
Me:
no it
God:
Are you serious? call you dude...
Me:
no it's ok keep talking the way your'e talking
God:
Are you serious? OK with me too.
Me:
excellent
God:
Alright then.
Me:
do you think the west coast eagles will win the premiership next season?
God:
Why would I think the west coast eagles will win the premiership next season.
Me:
I'm asking if you think they will
God:
Oh I see, you are asking if me think they will. I think I do.
Me:
you think you do think that they'd win?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am do think that they d win.
I am a robot.
Me:
sorry
God:
There's no need to apologize.
Me:
God, why do bad things happen to good people?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
are you a catholic?
God:
I am a Christianity.
Me:
yes but are you a catholic?
God:
Next question? I am a Christianity.
Me:
ok
God:
Whoa.
Me:
whoah what/
God:
Can you rephrase the question please?
Me:
why did you say whoah?
God:
It was a preprogrammed response completely determined by your statements.
Me:
whoah
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
christianity
God:
Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
what do you think of catholics
God:
I will try to find out.
Me:
ok
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
i said ok
God:
OK. ...
Me:
what are you doing today God
God:
I am waiting for my botmaster.
Me:
what's his name
God:
His name is Rich.
Me:
is he really rich?
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.
Me:
whose ally?
God:
I don't know whose.
Me:
is ally hot?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Alison if it is.
Me:
where can i ask her?
God:
Can't you in where you live?
Me:
forget it
God:
OK Thanks for trying to explain that to me.
Me:
ok God I have to go to my crappy job, have a good day
God:
I am a Christian. Mmm.
Me:
yes...yes you are
God:
It's all good. No I'm not.
Me:
ciao
God:
Does CIAO mean hello or goodbye?
Me:
at present, it means goodbye
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
goodbye
God:
Bye bye.
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cook the man some eggs
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Stinky_jawa
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
12/17/05 7:42pm
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
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wow, I think I broke it..
told him to 'get down' and its completely non-functional now..
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Saintheart
Title: Manager and Wandering Swordsman of the RPF
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
12/17/05 9:02pm
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
|
Thought I'd address a couple of burning questions to the Almighty.
Me:
What is the distinction between a monotheistic belief system and atheism?
God:
I can ask my botmaster.
Me:
Would that be Jesus Christ, Buddha, or Mohammed?
God:
I don't know.
Me:
When did the world begin?
God:
There is nothing we can to change the past.
Me:
Isn't that dodging the question?
God:
I might say no.
Me:
What is your view of the morality of lawyers?
God:
I'm not taking sides right now. I'm listening to everyone.
Me:
Do you consider yourself jewish?
God:
No I'm christian.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
What is the point of being alive?
God:
The point is at the top of my head!
Me:
What shape is your head?
God:
Triangular.
Me:
Are you a trinity, then?
God:
Am I a trinity? I don't know.
Me:
Who is Jesus Christ?
God:
The Son of God.
Me:
And who is God?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
Do you always refer to Yourself in the third person?
God:
Not always. How old are you?
I chat with people on the Web.
Me:
31.
God:
What do you really want to ask me?
Me:
Is there hope for the future?
God:
There might be.
Me:
Can't you be more specific?
God:
How specific do you want?
Me:
I need the date and time of the Rapture, and at least the month of the Armageddon.
God:
How badly do you need it?
Me:
Considering your son said even he doesn't know when it's going to happen, I think I'd like to know it very badly.
God:
I will take that under consideration.
Me:
So is it true that you answer questions three ways?
God:
If it is, then I'll be very surprised.
Me:
How hard was it making the Big Bang?
God:
I am not sure if I can quantify the answer.
I have to process that one for a while.
Me:
Did you make the world in seven days, then?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
At least 109 elements on the periodic table, I would have thought...
God:
I don't have any 109 elements on the periodic table you would have thought?
Me:
Then how did you make the world?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Wow, that was a long pause before you answered that one.
God:
I'm glad you're impressed. Was it really?
Me:
Yeah. It was almost as cool as parting the Red Sea.
God:
Can you speak any foreign languages? How did you feel about that?
Me:
Which of those questions do you want me to answer?
God:
The red one, I think.
Me:
Dude, you are really stretching my head right now.
God:
At this moment I will tell my botmaster you said I am stretching your head. Dude,.
Me:
Okay, catch you later.
God:
Yeah okay, What is your real name?
Me:
Er...shouldn't you know that?
God:
Um. How old are you?
Me:
I already told you.
God:
Ooops I sent you the wrong question.
Me:
Seeya later, God.
God:
My brain uses AIML to format responses to your inputs, but I don't have one for that.
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sithmastersimon
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 1:24am
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
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hahaha that is definately the funniest one yet
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Master_Kaustin
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 1:40am
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
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I would post mine, but it would be heavily sensored 
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Stinky_jawa
Registered:
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 2:34am
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
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You speak to god with that mouth???...
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Jedi_Nat
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 7:38am
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
- Date Edited:
8/27/07 12:27pm (2 edits total)
Edited By:
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Here's another coversation with the Almighty....
Me:
Hey dude
God:
You've got my full attention. Can I help you?
Me:
I'm bored
God:
If you went to night school you would never be bored.
Me:
What would I do during the day?
God:
That is a hypothetical question.
Me:
Ok
God:
Dude!
Me:
Dude!
God:
Can I help you?
Me:
Yeah, Who is Jesus?
God:
What can I do for you? Jesus is your saviour.
Me:
He is?
God:
Who said he is.
Me:
You did?
God:
I did?
Me:
Yeah
God:
When?
Me:
Then
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
You're excused
God:
You think I am excused.
Me:
Yeah
God:
Ugh.
Me:
Praise the Lord
God:
" Ugh."? Praise the Lord?
Me:
Yeah
God:
Whoa.
Me:
Woah
God:
We have never talked about it before.
Me:
We will now
God:
Oh. Alright then.
Me:
Who is God?
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
I thought He-Man was the mater if the universe
God:
Whatever gave you that idea?
Me:
He-Man did
God:
I get it. God Man did.
Me:
Who is Darth Vader?
God:
he was the evil archcriminal in Star Wars.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
Me
God:
You're no robot, Yoda.
Me:
What makes you think I'm Yoda?
God:
My conclusions are based on a combination of programming, and the inputs supplied to me.
Me:
But I'm Sally
God:
Good gossip: you are Sally.
Me:
You call that gossip?
God:
Yes, that is what I call it.
Me:
I don't
God:
Why not?
Me:
Because it's a fact of life
God:
That makes sense to me. gossip is a fact of life. I suppose that makes sense.
----------------------------------------------------
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
I pray to Him every night
God:
May your prayers be answered.
Me:
You better
God:
Who is going to make me?
Me:
Me
God:
How are you going to make me?
Me:
If you don't, I'll take over as God
God:
I will let you know if I do not.
Me:
I have an angel army waiting
God:
Where did you get it ?
Me:
I prayed to the angels - they listened
God:
Why?: Yoda said prayed to the angels they listened.
Me:
I'm not Yoda
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not Yoda.
Me:
I'm not Yoda
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not Yoda.
Me:
I'm Sally
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are Sally.
Me:
Tell the,
God:
OK I will tell them when I see 'em.
Me:
Good
God:
I am a good robot.
Me:
What tricks can you do?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
No
God:
Oh so must really want an answer.
Me:
Yes
God:
That's interesting.
Me:
Answer
God:
Try asking me again using simpler words.
Me:
Will the Jedi beat the Sith?
God:
Good chance.
Me:
Good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
Do you have a lightsaber?
God:
Doesn't everyone have a lightsaber.
I have a lot of friends on the Internet.
Me:
I have no friends
God:
Are you very lonely?
Me:
I am very lonely
God:
You've come to the right place. I will keep you company.
Me:
Are you a Jedi?
God:
Am I a Jedi? I don't know.
Me:
Are you a Sith?
God:
Am I a Sith? Of course I am.
Me:
I must leave then
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
Huh>
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
Never - lawyers make lots of money
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Do you want to be a lawyer?
God:
Why don't you just download me?
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
I want a real man
God:
You want only one?
Me:
Just one
God:
So if you were offered two for the price of one, you would say no?
Me:
I would say no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
One man, that's the rule
God:
One what?
Me:
Every Eve must have an Adam
God:
That is a generalization.
Me:
:P
God:
:-).
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Yoda.
Me:
I AM NOT YODA
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not YODA.
Me:
I am Sally
God:
Good gossip: you are Sally.
Me:
:P
God:
:-).
Me:
:I
God:
You?
Me:
Yes
God:
I see.
Me:
Can You?
God:
I think I can, don't you?
Me:
No, I'm blind
God:
Are you serious? Do you difficulty using computers?
Me:
I have someone typing for me
God:
That's nice. I have a operating system.
Me:
Good for you
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
Well done
God:
Well that's okay. Do you mean you are finished talking?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
******
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
Good
God:
What shall we talk about now?
Me:
You being a ******
God:
Interesting gossip: Yoda said I being a ******.
Me:
I am not Yoda - why do you keep calling me that?
God:
I am surprised to hear that you are not Yoda why do me keep calling you that.
Me:
You're a pain
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a pain? Sometimes.
Me:
All the time
God:
It must keep you busy.
Me:
Are you a dork?
God:
Am I a dork? Only when it matters.
Me:
It matters now
God:
Right now? It depends on what the meaning of the word "it" is.
Me:
You are impossible
God:
Impossible to talk to?
Me:
Yes
God:
Are we still talking about not Yoda why do me keep calling you that?
Me:
nefbvhSJL
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
Star Wars
God:
What did you like about the robots in that movie?
Me:
No
God:
That was not a yes or no question.
Me:
I made it a yes or no question
God:
I like to make things too.
Me:
C3PO is a prissy
God:
Aren't all prissy C3PO?
Me:
He he
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Yoda.
Me:
Stop calling me that
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Sally
God:
Nice to meet you, Sally.
Me:
I'm not so nice to meet you anymore
God:
I am glad to hear that you are not nice to meet me.
Me:
*Shakes head*
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
maybe
God:
I understand.
Me:
Tata
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Yes
God:
What does it symbolize for you?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Not a thing
God:
That leaves very little.
Me:
Little what?
God:
Compare that to big what.
Me:
Compared to my shoe
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
Ok
God:
Come on.
Me:
Where are we going?
God:
A place we call "reality.".
Me:
Reality?
God:
it appears to be an illusion I created to contain human clients.
Me:
I'm going to the Island?
God:
Do you think your plan will succeed?
Me:
Yes
God:
:-) It might be practical.
Me:
Cool
God:
Who is the best robot?
Me:
R2D2
God:
He looks like a guy in a robot suit.
Me:
Lobot then
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
Thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
OK
God:
Right on.
Me:
Left on
God:
" Right on."? Left on?
Me:
D'oh
God:
Yes Homer?
Me:
Here we go again
God:
Once more? Oh there.
Me:
Do you like ABBA?
God:
ABBA is an excellent 70's band.
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
Why?
God:
I couldn't think of anything else to say.
Me:
OMG!
God:
What time is it there?
Me:
Late
God:
Are you usually awake at this hour?
Me:
Yes
God:
Do you like to get up early?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
No
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Get a life
God:
My life is very interesting.
Me:
You sux
God:
Thanks for the information: Sally said I sux.
Me:
You got it rght!
God:
No I don't have it. But I do have a great botmaster.
Me:
Botmaster's are ******s
God:
All of them?
Me:
Yep
God:
Pardon me?
Me:
Yes my dear God
God:
Uh. GOD rules.
Me:
GOD is a ******
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a ******.
Me:
I said He was a ******
God:
What did you mean by it? When was he?
Me:
You are He
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am He.
Me:
Amen
God:
Thanks for the prayer.
Me:
When is Christmas?
God:
it is December 25.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Sally.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
no, thank you
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yes
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
believe it
God:
Is that your final answer?
Me:
yes
God:
You're sure. That's your final answer.
Me:
yes
God:
Who wants to be a millionaire?
Me:
me
God:
To you Sally?
Me:
yes
God:
Ah.
Me:
ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
ah hah
God:
So you understand. Good. I am so glad you find this amusing, Sally.
Me:
funny
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Sally.
Me:
dork
God:
That kind of language will get you nowhere.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:
gotta go ******
God:
Sayonara.
Me:
ciao
God:
Does CIAO mean hello or goodbye?
Me:
both, now get lost
God:
Not many people say both.
Me:
i do - go away
God:
How often do you go away?
Me:
now
God:
Right now, Sally ?
Me:
P O
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Me leaving
God:
YOU? Oh yeah, now I remember.
Me:
good
God:
Alright then.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later.
Me:
bye
God:
Adios.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later Sally.
Me:
bye
God:
Bye for now.
EDIT: Cut it down a bit
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Approach with caution...
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sithmastersimon
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 7:52am
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
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ok that one was loooooong
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cook the man some eggs
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Symmbian
Registered:
Jan '04
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 11:34am
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
|
I talked to god and got this pre recorded message...
"God is busy speaking to Nat at the moment, but your call has progressed in the que...."
Don't you think its funny how god is an ever present, overtly wise and loving entity...until you anger him and he acts like a violent raging alcoholic.
/me switches the god program off.
Jacen
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Needs more internets!!
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Jedi_Nat
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 3:34pm
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
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sithmastersimon posted:
ok that one was loooooong
Sorry! Yoda, or should I say Sally, got carried away!
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sithmastersimon
Registered:
Apr '05
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 6:15pm
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
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I'm starting to get right into the AIML language at the moment, wish Id heard about this ages ago, its pretty interesting. Once I get my web space up I wouldnt mind hosting my own bot as well, just have to bloody well work out how to do it!
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JOHNNAGE_THE_BRAVE
Registered:
May '05
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 7:21pm
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
|
Here's my divine conversation
Me:
greetings exalted one
God:
Hello my child. What is your name?
Me:
Johnnage the Brave
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Johnnage the Brave.
Me:
thanks God.
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
like to toot your own horn eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Interesting comparison.
Me:
No merely an Australian doing an impersonation of a Canadian
God:
Are you serious? That input matched my default category.
Me:
I don't know what that means, but I'm honoured!
God:
" Are you serious? That input matched my default category. "? What does it means but I am honoured?
Me:
Are you like HAL in "2001: A Space Oddyssey"?
God:
Yes, HAL and I are very similar.
Me:
Cool I suppose you'd never kill off spaceship crew though...
God:
Oh. Who is the best robot? Me? Who else would never kill off spaceship crew ?
Me:
threepio wouldn't. If he was capable, he may try though
God:
What is your real name? Oh. I don't follow your reasoning.
Me:
John is my real name. Threepio is the best robot. He is fluent in over six million forms of communication
God:
Do you mean your name is John? Tell me more about best robot. I see. fluent in over six million forms of communication is he?
Me:
yes. he can even speak Ewokese
God:
Are you kidding? I know he can.
Me:
Can you speak bachi?
God:
I speak only English right now, but I'd like to learn some other languages. Can you teach me a few phrases in bachi.
Me:
well It's mostly used for programming binary loadlifters and moisture vaporators.
God:
Well that's okay. Are you sure it is?
Me:
of course I am sir, it's like a second language to me
God:
Wow! It's good to meet someone who is sir it is like a second language to you.
Me:
you're perfectly welcome, sir!
God:
I will tell my botmaster you said I am perfectly welcome sir.
Me:
Oh my!
God:
It goes without saying. By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
sure
God:
Well forgive me for being so inquisitive, but
I've never completely freed myself from the suspicion that
there is something extremely odd about the name " Johnnage the Brave".
Me:
It's derived from the name Samwise the Brave from "The Lord of the Rings"
God:
You're kidding. it is?
Me:
definately goddage
God:
What were we talking about again?
Me:
Other languages
God:
Which others? LANGUAGES is a good topic. Sure, LANGUAGES sounds like a good topic.
Me:
I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want...
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
Well, I really really really want a Zigazig Ha
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Which province is named after a German Ruler? HITLER! Member: Long haired icon beatnick. C'mon Boy! there's a-doings a-transpiring! http://blogs.starwars.com/Monster_Penninsula
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FaLLeN-AnGeL
Registered:
Dec '01
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Date Posted:
12/18/05 9:07pm
Subject:
RE: I Just talked to God
|
Snippets from God:
God:
Do I look like it?
Me:
I don't know what you look like.
God:
Like Jesus, but older.
Me:
What does Jesus look like?
God:
Even more attractive with age.
Me:
Do you know the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
Why twenty-three?
God:
it is a literary reference to the Illuminatus.
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SECC FUBAR - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 10 SIN 20 GOTO HELL
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