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Topic:
Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Jedi-Aztek
Registered:
Apr '01
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Date Posted:
3/16/07 6:50am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Can't say they didn't warn you !
-----signature-----
'Ne Obliviscaris'
Ep II With FFNSW... May 16 12:01 2002, Fox Studios, Sydney, Australia
Ep III With FFNSW... May 19 12:01 2005, Fox Studios, Sydney, Australia
SECC - Holder of the Shiny Sword of Shift
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Saintheart
Title: Manager and Wandering Swordsman of the RPF
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
4/4/07 7:32am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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You've probably all heard this one by e-mail.
McDonald's is doing a new burger. It's called the Westcoaster. Comes with free coke and ice.
-----signature-----
Michelle: my Italian queen, my angel, my reason, my wife.
Jessica: my little princess, my daughter, born 10 August 2007
Director -- Star Wars: Knighthood
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Saintheart
Title: Manager and Wandering Swordsman of the RPF
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
4/30/07 6:39pm
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Something sent to me by my wife:
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
===========================
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
===========================
Day 983 of my captivity.
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!
There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.
For now.
-----signature-----
Michelle: my Italian queen, my angel, my reason, my wife.
Jessica: my little princess, my daughter, born 10 August 2007
Director -- Star Wars: Knighthood
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Kartanym
Registered:
May '02
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Date Posted:
4/30/07 11:03pm
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Sounds about right 
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Jedi_Nat
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
7/13/07 5:11am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Here's an email I received
Subject: Press Release re Didak
Press Release re Didak
After revelations that their members were out with Alan Didak, the Hells
Angels have released a statement claiming that they had no knowledge
that their members were mixing with Collingwood players and they will be
launching a full investigation to find and suspend the members
concerned.
"Its simply unacceptable and stupid behaviour for our members to be
associating with these types of people. Our members are role models and
should know better" said Club President
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The Wicked Witch of the West!
Approach with caution...
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Stinky_jawa
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
7/18/07 7:55pm
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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May need to click it.. I thought it was funny
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Jedi_Nat
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
7/19/07 12:31am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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I got this random email today from somebody that works at Hakea Prison...
Subject: The year so far....
1) Made a preliminary final in 2006
2) Traded away Graham Polak and pick number 8 in the draft to secure Chris Tarrant to cash in on the "premiership window
3) Were premiership favourites pre-season. All dockers fans celebrate the flag they haven't won yet, but convince themselves that on the basis of 8 wins in a row last year surely it is in the bag.
4) The Wiz punches out a bouncer at a nightclub, Freo suspends him for 7 weeks.
5) Lose their first game to port after being in front by 40 points in the third quarter
6) Numerous players subsequently get reported for belting other players indiscriminantly
7) Chris Tarrant bares his backside in Darwin. Freos "culture" brought into question.
8) Ben Reid, the player Collingwood got with Freo's pick 8 kicks 3 goals in his debut match
9) Graham Polak in All australian form with the struggling Tigers
10) Tarrant has kicked less goals than Quentin Lynch, in a season where Lynch has underperformed.
11) Rumours abound that Pav hates "Cuddles" Connolly. Bad for Team morale
12) Miss 3 set shots for goal against the Kanga's at home and lose by less than a goal.
13) It is still "mathematically possible" for Freo to make the 8, assures Chris Connolly. West Coast fans laugh in unison.
I would like to thank the Fremantle football club. During this period of poor form by the West Coast it is always good open the paper and chuckle at the comedy that is Freo 2007. Week in week out they can turn my frown
upside down with pure efforts of comedy gold.
Just remember, no one can take away the trophy you guys won at the London derby.
Heave ho.
-----signature-----
The Wicked Witch of the West!
Approach with caution...
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Jedi_Nat
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
8/7/07 6:15am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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I saw this in the Letters section of today's (7/8) The West Australian.
On the back page of yesterday's The West Australian I saw a group of smiling Dockers proudly holding aloft a trophy. What's this, I thought, has this team of perennial failures finally won the premiership? I then realised that it is early August, not late September, an a check of the ladder revealed they are languishing in 13th position and unlikely to make the finals. Why the celebrations? Oh, of course, they beat West Coast which meana they have had another successful season.
-----signature-----
The Wicked Witch of the West!
Approach with caution...
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Jedi-Aztek
Registered:
Apr '01
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Date Posted:
8/8/07 7:17am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Obviously written by an Eagles supporter who couldn't handle watching Benny get knocked around a bit.
-----signature-----
'Ne Obliviscaris'
Ep II With FFNSW... May 16 12:01 2002, Fox Studios, Sydney, Australia
Ep III With FFNSW... May 19 12:01 2005, Fox Studios, Sydney, Australia
SECC - Holder of the Shiny Sword of Shift
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Jedi_Nat
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
8/9/07 4:58am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Yes, but it wasn't me. My boss is a Dockers supporter, so any Dockers joke I get sent (mostly by my dad) I leave on his desk. He knows who put it there too...
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The Wicked Witch of the West!
Approach with caution...
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Stinky_jawa
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
8/9/07 5:16pm
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
- Date Edited:
8/9/07 5:17pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Stinky_jawa
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oOoOOOoooo.. magic...
[edit: made me go: no freakin way!]
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soneil
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
8/10/07 1:01am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Yeah I saw that one. Part of me wants to know how they do that sort of stuff but the other part of me thinks it might ruin the fun to know.
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Steve
Yousa point is well seen!
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Saintheart
Title: Manager and Wandering Swordsman of the RPF
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
8/29/07 12:05am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Lists of Tolkien's rejected plot twists for Lord of the Rings
List I
10. Bolger vs. Lumpkin: Fifteen rounds of Fatty Insanity!
9. Sauron revealed as Frodo's father.
8. Pippin hits on Eowyn in a dark corner of the Houses of Healing: "The hands of a Hobbit are the hands of a healer too, you know..."
7. A fed-up Eagle-Lord to Gandalf trapped at Orthanc: "Fly yourself, magic-boy."
6. Balin emerges from the depths of Moria, claiming he "fell asleep in the tub."
5. The Shire, mobilized by Merry and Pippin, annexes Bree and slaughters "the Big Folk."
4. Bombadil pulls switcheroo with Frodo: keeps One Ring as trinket for Goldberry.
3. With Middle-earth saved, Gandalf turns his talents to research:
Frodo: "Is that a new kind of pipe-weed?"
Gandalf: "Yeah, kinda."
2. Boromir uses the Ring, saves Gondor, destroys Sauron and becomes a wise and benevolent ruler.
1. Gollum adapts to molten Mt. Doom environment; will play a critical role in Fourth Age crisis.
List II
10. After battle with Balrog, Gandalf returns to Istari HQ in San Francisco. Returns as "the Pink Rider."
9. Believing revenge to be a dish best served cold, Gimli stealthily beheads Legolas, Eomer, the sentry of Lothlorien, and everybody else who "pissed me off."
8. BATF raid on Gandalf's fireworks warehouse.
7. Ents and Elves dispute over title of "Firstborn." Elrond has Quickbeam made into an armoire; Treebeard grinds Glorfindel into mulch.
6. Black Tongue of Mordor recognized as a valid language by Middle Earth public schools and DMV.
5. Elvish runes at doors of Moria read, "Speak, stupid, and enter."
4. In the happy days after the defeat of Sauron, Gimli keeps his promise and visits Mirkwood with Legolas -- where they are eaten by spiders, whom everybody had forgotten about.
3. Flash-forward to the Fifth Age, where Bilbo still hasn't finished that damn book.
2. Orc-slaughter competition between Legolas and Gimli becomes so fierce, they take to killing some of the smaller, uglier men of Gondor.
1. Ent-draughts available in Ice, Lite and Dry.
List III
10) Earendil's Star contains a spaceship which carries away the faithful to a higher plane of existence.
9) Frenzied Elven orgy in the Last Homely House.
8) Gandalf trips over parapet and plummets from the peak of Orthanc.
7) Saruman of Many Colours does brief ad campaign for Tide Colour Bleach.
6) A distinctly un-tame lion comes on the scene roaring about "Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve." He is promptly killed by Beorn for scaring his sheep.
5) Samwise begins to experience Smeagol/Gollum schizophrenia after the Fall of Sauron. He calls Arwen Evenstar "my Precious" and is beheaded by King Elessar.
4) The three Elven Rings do not fade away after the destruction of The One. Lothlorien and Rivendell become communes, while Gandalf sets up benevolent dictatorship at Dale.
3) Aragorn bravely leads the Grey Company along the Paths of the Dead. The Oathbreakers, summoned to the Stone of Erech, decide to continue their apostasy and attack Aragorn instead.
2) The Mouth of Sauron resorts to cheap taunts and insults thrown at Aragorn's army--all in an outRAGeous French accent.
1) Bombadil exposed as Mordor spy by his beloved Goldberry, an Elven double agent. Nazgul and Elven Lords converge on Old Forest and War is over without disrupting the common folk of Middle Earth.
List IV
10) Aragorn discovers that he is not, in fact, Elendil's heir. His older brother, Mutt, after having lived with Ghan-buri-Ghan & Co., lays claim to the throne after all the "dirty work" is done.
9) Miruvor bash and subsequent hangover right before the Redhorn Pass fiasco.
8) Butterbur's binge-and-purge history and 12-step recovery.
7) Dwarves finally rise up in protest of consistent unfavorable comparisons with Elves. They file a class action and receive compensatory damages for "racial injustice" and "emotional distress."
6) Bilbo, Gloin and Elrond set out after the Fellowship to prove "the Old Guard" still has it. They settle in Lothlorien and build a retirement flet community.
5) Galadriel discovers Pippin singing the praises of a bath while he takes one in her mirror.
4) Faramir's fling with Arwen (inspired by Camelot saga).
3) The hallucinogenic effects of lembas.
2) Boromir takes a leak and has his winkie bitten off by Wargs. Results in a vendetta destruction of the Warg species and a kinder, gentler Boromir.
1) Farmer Giles of Ham shows up at the Pelennor Fields and saves Gandalf's life.
List V
10) Shadowfax killed by orc arrow. He and the dead horses of Rohan provide raw material for new "Gondor Glue" products.
9) Upon becoming Queen of Middle Earth, Arwen the vegetarian begins "Meat is Murder" campaign. Henpecked Elessar glumly agrees to outlaw new "Beef & Beer" franchise.
8) "One Necklace to rule them all, One Necklace to find them..."
7) Upon the disbanding of the Istari, Radagast founds PETA.
6) The Sackville-Bagginses, Bracegirdles and Proudfeet form a crime syndicate:
Frodo: "I'd like to have Bag End back."
Lobelia S.B.: "I'm a-gonna make you an offer you can't refuse."
5) During their march to the Grey Havens, a lone Elf-voice cries out: "Wait a minute. We're first-born, we're immortal...IT IS WE WHO SHOULD RUUULE!"
4) Constant exposure to Dutch pornography via Satellite Palantir revealed as cause of Denethor's breakdown.
3) Early draft from Tolkien's mental-block days:
"Three things for the Elven Kings
Seven for the Dwarves livin' all alone
Nine for mortal men da da da why?
One more thing for that bad guy while I'm at it.
One thing to fool them all
One thing to show everybody
One thing to rule them as it were -
This is a really important thing, understand."
2) Discarded maxim: "Pungent are the dumps of the Dwarves."
1) Paganesque Valar-worship and Hobbit hedonism annoy The One; Radagast the Brown called to begin a movement of spiritual renewal and asceticism, doesn't have to change clothes.
-----signature-----
Michelle: my Italian queen, my angel, my reason, my wife.
Jessica: my little princess, my daughter, born 10 August 2007
Director -- Star Wars: Knighthood
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Stinky_jawa
Registered:
Dec '00
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Date Posted:
9/19/07 9:06pm
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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Muppet Movies!
Kermitments
Muppets Inc
Phonomenon..
Broke Back Muppet
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soneil
Registered:
Nov '00
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Date Posted:
9/21/07 1:08am
Subject:
RE: Wierd e-mails... and more..
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I wonder if they're from disney. When we were there last year, there was one ride (more of a 3d movie really) which was a muppet one. On the way in there were a whole bunch of muppet themed movie posters like that. I took a photo of one I quite liked.
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Steve
Yousa point is well seen!
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