Jedi Council Forums - Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

« 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 » - Previous | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
womberty Registered: Jan '02	Date Posted: 1/21/04 3:17pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	This rules. Not only do I get to hang out with her(just me and her) but I get to teach her stuff on the guitar, and look like a great guitar player. Hmm... be careful. Sometimes the "teaching" situation can become extremely frustrating, and then you can end up annoyed at one another. Keep in mind: - She may not take playing the guitar as seriously as you do. - She might find it difficult to do what you say, or might have trouble understanding your explanations. - You might get frustrated if she doesn't show progress. If you don't want her to end up hating you for not being understanding, be aware of these potential problems and if you see a problem starting to form, avoid it by cutting a lesson short (tactfully!), finding something else to focus on, etc. Problems are done-Dawn went Whack again. Some guy in her past must have messed her up royally. Oh well, who can understand women? Do you want to expound on that? She "went whack" meaning backing off of a relationship (friendship?) with you, or something more extreme? If she knows you have a girlfriend (or at least a semi-steady relationship with someone else), that could be part of the cause.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Terpmaniac09 Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 1/21/04 3:52pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I'll keep that in mind, but I can mantain extreme patience with her no matter what she does. -----signature----- "Ward I Think You Were A Little Hard On The Beaver Last Night." - Mrs. Cleaver "I Can't Wait To Eat That Monkey." - Abe Simpson -Attack of the Clones Trivia Contest-
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 1/21/04 4:45pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Me thinks that Terpmaniac09 is in love! Hope it goes well for you.... -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Terpmaniac09 Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 1/21/04 6:12pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Thanks! -----signature----- "Ward I Think You Were A Little Hard On The Beaver Last Night." - Mrs. Cleaver "I Can't Wait To Eat That Monkey." - Abe Simpson -Attack of the Clones Trivia Contest-
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
UluUlix Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 1/25/04 11:04am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Womberty: when I meant "She went whack"-here is what happened. I came home on Friday afternoon to an email from her saying that She had thought alot about things and she wasnt certain about dating/friends and the whole thing. She said she wasnt attracted and could not muster up any feelings. She said I was the perfect guy and I could offer her everything, and that was the problem. If anyone could take good care of a girlfriend it would be me, and that I am great catch. I emailed and said I thought it was just friends and that she was the one giving signals such as going to a musical and a weekend getaway, and dance lessons. Then she emailed back again with this: "I think I'm just becoming skittish around every guy. Dating or not. Now I feel stupid. I lost sleep over this last night, trying to reason out even being friends. I think I'm becoming a lunatic when it comes to guys in any situation." "If anyone has absolutely every single thing to offer me, it would be you. I just can't say that enough. Maybe that is where my conflict is coming from. (Am I playing psychologist with myself now?)" "I'm sorry,just let me go." So as I was saying: "She went whack" And very dramatic-just let me go. Enough said, I will never let her back into my life-cant stand the bruised ego and the feeling of stupidity. For now, I will stay cool with Mariah and heal my bruised ego. She cares for me, she just doesnt have the same interests or passions for the things I like. -----signature----- "Drawn into the mistakes of the Republic, the Jedi had been. Allowed the dark side to take root. Allowed arrogance to infect the Order. A priority, holding on to power had become. Inflated by their own conquests, the Jedi became." Master Yoda
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 1/26/04 9:30am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	UluUlix: Yeah...sounds like she has some issues to work-out on her own.... -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
UluUlix Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 1/26/04 2:52pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Space-man: That was my thought-she has things she need to work out. She doesnt know about Mariah because she never asked. Just to clear that up since it was questioned in a post. My biggest thing is a bruised ego-because I thought it could have potential and I just dont understand her reasoning. I have only used that reason ( I am just not attracted to you) once-and it was because it was a blind date. Most of the time you dont go out with someone unless there is a thread of attraction. Sorry to say it but it is true. -----signature----- "Drawn into the mistakes of the Republic, the Jedi had been. Allowed the dark side to take root. Allowed arrogance to infect the Order. A priority, holding on to power had become. Inflated by their own conquests, the Jedi became." Master Yoda
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 1/26/04 3:23pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Agreed. For whatever reason, she is saying some pretty inexplicable things...and although I'm sure a part of you would like to at least understand it all a little better, I would advise just forgetting about it -- at least for the moment. Her conflicts sound "inner" rather than external (you), and that's why I think she likewise needs to work-out the solutions by herself. She needs to achieve some sort of inner peace/acceptance/understanding before she'll ever find love with someone else.... -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
womberty Registered: Jan '02	Date Posted: 1/26/04 3:48pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large - Date Edited: 1/26/04 3:48pm (1 edits total) Edited By: womberty
	My biggest thing is a bruised ego-because I thought it could have potential and I just dont understand her reasoning. Well, try to understand: if a girl feels like she's had too many problems in her past relationships, now she might be worried that she is causing the problems, or that all guys are bad news. Also, it does sound as though she's saying you're the kind of person she ought to be interested in, but for whatever reason, she doesn't have feelings for you (or maybe she does, but is trying to suppress them because she is afraid of relationships right now). I agree with Space_Man - she seems to have problems with herself, and you'd be best to move on. And try not to take the rejection personally; after all, whether a particular person is attracted to you may have nothing to do with how you look or who you are. Some folks, after all, are only attracted to the people who are all wrong for them, and they end up in a vicious cycle of failed relationships that reaffirm their beliefs about their low self-worth. If you think Dawn might be in that kind of situation, then a relationship with her would have been very taxing on you - she may have a lot of emotional problems and be very needy. What she would need is someone to listen and understand and build up her sense of self-worth - but you would probably not be the best person for that, for many reasons. (I hope I'm not assuming too much here; she might, after all, just be flighty or shallow or temporarily confused about what she wants in life.) Anyway, just move along Re-focus on your relationship with Mariah, and see if there's anything you can do to improve that. Again, no sense dragging it out unnecessarily, but do put in some effort before calling it quits. Do not hang onto someone because you need to feel better about yourself - she shouldn't have to pay for your bruised ego. Go back and reevaluate what you want from a relationship, and what she wants, and see how well you're measuring up so far, and if there's anything you can do to make it better and take it to a deeper level of love and understanding.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
jedi_john_33 Registered: Sep '03	Date Posted: 1/26/04 9:06pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	i know i've expressed my love woes in the past, but i have a new question. There is this girl in my physics class. I suck at talking to girls, and I want to talk to her! I just don't know what to say...if you have advice, could you PM me...it'd be great -----signature----- LEROOOOOOOOOOOOY JENKINS! I miss Mortimer_Snerd http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8feelxiFlw
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 1/27/04 8:39am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	jedi_john_33 I know you specifically requested a PM response, but I'm going to offer mine here because -- as I hope you realize -- you are most certainly NOT the only one who is at a loss when it comes to talking to the opposite sex.... I say: let's discuss it here in the open; it's nothing to be ashamed of, after all! Well, let’s look at what you share in common already: you go to the same school, and you're both in the same physics class together. I would say that gives you your "ice-breaker:" talk about school events, current physics class assignments, etc. That should open the door to more meaningful discussion topics, and -- eventually -- give you the opportunity to ask her out on a date (and that IS your ultimate goal, right?). Remember: try to be relaxed, and just be yourself...it will only become a big/nervous situation for you if YOU yourself decide to let it. Sound like a plan? -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
divaSySnootles Registered: Dec '03	Date Posted: 1/27/04 8:56am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Need advice: This guy at my job (I believe) likes me. He's flirted with me a few times. I think I'm the problem though. I am so quiet - shy when it comes to the opposite sex, flirting, and love. I can never strike up a conversation with him. He'll talk to my friends around me, but he never talks to me unless we are alone--even then, I can't manage to get more than two words out. When I first starting working with him, I'd try to think of things to say to strike up a conversation with him (and break out of my shyness), but he'd act like he didn't like it. (For example, I'd give him a compliment about his shoes or something--or I'd ask him how his weekend was--and he'd frown like, "What are you talking to me for -- I thought you were quiet." And that does nothing but make me feel like even more of a geek and not want to talk to him at all. But I still like him even though he can be a jerk sometimes when I DO manage to talk to him. I can tell he is starting to try and talk to me more though (in front of everyone)--but he always has to have a reason--about things work related. What are some ways I can assure him that I like him back--flirting tips for an incredibly shy girl is what I guess I need. Or do you think he doesn't like me? -----signature----- Star Warz girlz rule. You people scare me.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Maulfly Title: Moderator Emeritus Registered: Oct '01	Date Posted: 1/27/04 9:17am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	divaSySnootles: Yeah, being shy in this stuff can really suck. I would say despite liking him, hold back some. If he's acting like a "jerk" whenever you do manage to get out an ice breaker and otherwise mainly talks to you only about business, he may not be as interested in you as you are of him. Some people even are "flirtatious" and/or outgoing in nature and will seem interested when they're not (well, not in that way). Do work on your communication skills and getting yourself less nervous when talking to others. Probably a matter of becoming more confident in who you are and what you want in life. And don't worry about it. You can be looking, but don't make it your main concern. If he's interested in you, trust me, he'll let you know. -----signature----- "Does that boy have a death wish, or is he just...'special'?"-Roddy Dad GT: Maulfly360 / Drawings: http://maulflynopics.multiply.com/ Owner/ball and chain of GrandAdmiralStrife... http://www.austinfanforce.org
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 1/27/04 11:30am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	divaSySnootles: It's been my personal experience that folks who are almost painfully shy (now, whether or not that describes you, is for YOU to determine), tend to also have kind-of a..."skewed" (for lack of a better word) perception of the intentions of others. My point: I wonder if this guy is really sending such mixed signals, or if you might just be interpreting the manner in which he interacts with you as being harsh, impatient, and un-interested. What do you think? Proceed cautiously. If this guy really IS kind-of acting in a "jerk"-like manner towards you, he might be a whole lot of bad news (perhaps I'm just being paranoid, but I'm speculating along the lines of him having some control issues, and you having been singled-out as someone he might feel he can easily control). Be aware of what's going on within you as well. You're shy. So what? It's who you are, and it's part of what makes you unique. I guess we can debate whether or not being shy should be considered a "fault" (I believe that it is NOT), but -- really -- all that being "shy" means is that you will communicate a little differently then others might. As I told the last person, if you're looking for a reason to strike-up a conversation with this guy, since you both work at the same place, something work-related might be a good opening subject...and then, just take it from there: ask him if he's seen ___ movie yet, read ____ book yet -- whatever. It should flow naturally from there. -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
divaSySnootles Registered: Dec '03	Date Posted: 1/27/04 12:46pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I wonder if this guy is really sending such mixed signals, or if you might just be interpreting the manner in which he interacts with you as being harsh, impatient, and un-interested. What do you think? Yes, those were my assumptions in the first place, but why on earth would he act that way if I spoke to him--what, he doesn't like compliments? I now make it a point not to start talking to him first because I'm afraid he won't react well if I speak to him first. -----signature----- Star Warz girlz rule. You people scare me.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

« 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57 | 58 | 59 | 60 | 61 | 62 » - Previous | Next | Reload