Jedi Council Forums - Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large

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Author	Topic: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 2/5/04 1:10pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Diva- First off, I picked up immediately on your comment "what, he doesn't like compliments?" I have a friend who doesn't just not like them, he'll get angry if you give them to him. I'm not going to go into the psychology of it here, but I imagine if one guy can be that way, others can, too. This guy reminds of a guy who used to be in my church youth group. I don't know for sure if he liked me, but there was no explanation for his actions, and so I still believe there may have been soemthing there. At the time I was 16, though I saw him last when I was 17 (six months ago, actually). Anyway, he was really strange to me, like he would act glad to see me, but almost in a mocking way. Then at one point he was writing me these crazy little love notes, that were very insulting, really, he used this nickname he came up with for me instead of my real name, and they were just too out there to be anything but pranks. Last summer I saw him for the first time in a year. It was so weird, seeing him, but he was doing the same sort of things. He was always like "hey everybody, it's Caity in the house!" and stuff really loudly, and was annoying everyone else. He was all up in my face and sometimes insulting. It was weird. Is your situation at all like this? Crazy fake love notes aside, that was just too insane, and I still sorta get creeped out when I think about that. Anyway, this guy may dig you, and not know how to show it! But I think you hafta get to the bottom of that. Try talking to him. If he starts to tease or something, just be like "hey, I don't feel like goofing around right now, I just wanted to chat" or something along those lines. Make it clear to him you want to talk to him, and if he is interested, I think he would tone down the obnoxious level. Am I doing ok here, guys, or am I totally off base? -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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WMCoolmon Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 2/5/04 7:38pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Well...it seems more like the guy you mentioned was making fun of you because he enjoyed it and actively seeking out ways to make your life bad. That doesn't seem to be the case with this guy, since he's only been rude when Diva has tried to move beyond the normal working relationship. It seems like he only did something after Diva (Sorry, I have no clue how to refer to someone politely on a message board when not responding directly to their post) made the first move. Hell, he might just be interested and waiting for her to make the first move, but acting odd on purpose to keep her interested. -----signature----- "Do you really believe that?" "I do" "Are you willing to die for that belief?" - Serenity Sex happens. Deal with it.
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 2/5/04 7:44pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Yeah, well the strange thing about my guy was he wasn't naturally a nast guy at all, on the contrary he's generally well liked and friendly. And it's hard to explain without seeing the look on his face some of the time. Maybe it was all in my head, but there were times he looked downright tormented. I know, it really sounds like I'm flattering myself here, like I said, I mighta imagined it, but if anything I normally tend to underestimate guys' interest in me instead of the other way around. -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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divaSySnootles Registered: Dec '03	Date Posted: 2/9/04 7:46am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Thank you all for your replies. A lot has happened since I last posted. Well the next day after I brushed him off, he came in making jokes but not at me and I can tell he was still testing to see if I was mad at him (if I'd laugh at his jokes or say anything to him)--I wasn't mad of course and I only smiled at his jokes but couldn't look at him, but I'm sure he saw me because later he felt like he could talk to me again. So later when we were finally able to be alone we were talking about personal stuff :-) I am so happy the ice is finally broken. He can never talk to me around coworkers though. I guess he wants to be alone with me whenever he wants to talk--but he doesn't make fun of me anymore, and I think he knows that that is what upset me. We are not there yet, but getting there (he hasn't told me how he feels yet), but the flirting is back. WMCoolman, I was not insulted about your advice. I think it was great advice. I just have to come out of my shyness and talk to him more. And he even takes my compliments well now. :-) I guess he was not used to compliments and now he's used to actually getting them. The way he acts, I don't think he has ever had a girlfriend before, gosh! But I'm one to talk, I've never dated either. Any other advice would be greatly appreciated. :-) -----signature----- Star Warz girlz rule. You people scare me.
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Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 2/9/04 10:11am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	divaSySnootles: I'm glad to hear that it seems to be going well now! What have the more personal conversations consisted of? Are you getting a sense of who he is as a person (specifically: likes & dislikes) so that you can start planning where you want to invite him to for the first date?! -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
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divaSySnootles Registered: Dec '03	Date Posted: 2/11/04 7:16am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	What have the more personal conversations consisted of? Are you getting a sense of who he is as a person (specifically: likes & dislikes) so that you can start planning where you want to invite him to for the first date?! I could never ask a guy out on a date! Really, I think that's the guy's job to do all that. I really don't see myself doing it. Hopefully, he'll do it. But anyway, we talk about family, sports, music, and even religion. So how are we doing? -----signature----- Star Warz girlz rule. You people scare me.
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Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 2/11/04 8:20am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I could never ask a guy out on a date! I know. But, you could certainly drop some hints to help motivate him: YOU: "Boy doesn't that new movie Cold Mountain look good? I sure wanna see that one, but I don't really have anyone to go with, and I just hate going to movies alone..." If he doesn't jump on that kind of opportunity, then forget him -- he's a dud! So how are we doing? Who cares how I think you're doing -- how do you think it's going? -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
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divaSySnootles Registered: Dec '03	Date Posted: 2/11/04 8:36am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	YOU: "Boy doesn't that new movie Cold Mountain look good? I sure wanna see that one, but I don't really have anyone to go with, and I just hate going to movies alone..." If he doesn't jump on that kind of opportunity, then forget him -- he's a dud! Great tips! Thank you! I'll try those. -----signature----- Star Warz girlz rule. You people scare me.
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 2/11/04 9:22pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Space man is very wise, yes. I shoudl use that tactic right now as I am talking to a total sweetie...but I dunno. I scared. I have known him forever, and I've liked him on and off since day one, but because I've never made a move, I can't now. I'm just babbling, ignore me. -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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Space_Man Registered: Aug '03	Date Posted: 2/12/04 9:54am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Connemara: I have known him forever, and I've liked him on and off since day one, but because I've never made a move, I can't now. Say more. Why do you feel like you can't make a move now? Having eventually married a girl that I was "just friends with" throughout H.S., I have strong opinions on this issue. For what it's worth: Life's too short. If -- regardless of how the relationship has been up to this point -- you are now developing more "romantic" types of feelings for this young man, then, I say express them...the risk is worth while, IMO. As I've often said, there is no better foundation for a truly secure, and meaningful type of "romantic" relationship then one built on a long-standing friendship. BTW: Space man is very wise, yes. You flatter me, but please realize that I am no “wiser” than you, or anyone else here...I maybe have just a bit more experience with some things, and often merely sound like I know what I'm talking about, but those things do not make me "wise!" “It is unwise to be too sure of one’s own wisdom. It is healthy to be reminded that the strongest might weaken and the wisest might err.” -- Mahatma Gandhi. -----signature----- Seek first to understand...and then to be understood. ~ Stephen R Covey
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 2/13/04 5:52am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Well...we aren't exactly close friends. It's been rocky for as long as I've known him. I've always felt he looked down on me, but now I'm beginning to think maybe I was wrong all that time. Like, I didn't see him for almost a year, then he showed up at my friend's Christmas party right before Christmas. During the time I didn't see him, I pretty much thought we weren't going to be friends anymore, because I was mad at him for what I felt was a brushoff, but at the same time, I had said some things that I felt bad about, too. I was mad at him, but I also missed him. Then he showed up at the Christmas party, and I wasn't sure what to think when I was told he was coming, but when I first saw him his eyes lit up and he was thrilled to see me. I was out with my friend and her brother when he first arrived, so he was there alone for a little bit, and my parents both say he was asking about me. I don't know what to think. Whenever he showed any type of interest in talking to me or seeing me in the past, I assumed it was because he's generally friendly with everyone, and he's just being polite. I mean, it's hard to tell because he has a lot of girl friends (not a girlfriend, he doesn't have one of them), and sometimes I think well, compared to time he spends with other girls, he barely even notices I'ma live, even though there are times he's friendlier to me than any other guy. You see at all where I'm going with this? Well, at the Christmas party it was like everything I had felt for him in the past that I was SURE I was totally over came exploding back, and the rest of the night or the next day I coudln't think of anything else. I'm not saying it's love or anything, but it is a ery strong attraction I've had for a long time, despite our ups and downs. Lately I have been talking to him on AIM some, even though he still never IMs me (one of the reasons I was pretty sure he fdidn't even notice I exist), he and I chat sometimes, and he might be coming over to my house in a week. I dunno. I'm not even sure I would want to get serious with him, my life is in lot of turmoil right now, I don't know how it's all going to turn out, or whether if I make a choice now I'll end up regretting it. So I'm not really going to make a move on him or anything, just try and build a friednship, and see if we go from there. -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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LordOfTheValentines Registered: Feb '04	Date Posted: 2/13/04 6:47am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	It's all about the Love! -----signature----- ~One Lord to rule them all, One Lord to find them, One Lord to bring them all and in the darkness marry them.~
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Terpmaniac09 Registered: Jan '03	Date Posted: 2/13/04 2:46pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Hallmark day sucks. -----signature----- "Ward I Think You Were A Little Hard On The Beaver Last Night." - Mrs. Cleaver "I Can't Wait To Eat That Monkey." - Abe Simpson -Attack of the Clones Trivia Contest-
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SamwiseGamgee Registered: Oct '03	Date Posted: 2/13/04 2:48pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	hugs to everyone spending the day alone and everyone having difficulty in their love life! This is a day for everyone to be loved...not just those in relationships! -----signature----- "If you see in your wine the reflection of a person not in your range of vision, don't drink it. " "Courage is not the lack of fear. It is acting in spite of it. " "Success is going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.” James Sheridan
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ShrunkenJedi Registered: Apr '03	Date Posted: 2/13/04 2:54pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Thanks Sam! Anyway, I thought I might at least pose the question-- where and how would people suggest one start looking for eligible guys, as a female college student who doesn't even like alcohol or smoking but is fairly lenient in other ways? -----signature----- Fanficcer and Fanartist: Check the profile! (or below) My Fanfic Index: http://boards.theforce.net/fan_fiction_resource/b10304/25405090/r30292337/
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