Jedi Council Forums - Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large

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Author	Topic: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
DarthGunray Registered: Nov '01	Date Posted: 6/23/03 6:35pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Bumping up -----signature----- Currently playing: Sonic Adventure, AOTC, Clone Wars Needs to play: ZOE:2nd Runner, MOH:AA, Rogue Squadron Needs to finish: Dark Cloud 2, Metroid Prime, Mario Sunshine Older bro to WarmasterDan
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Iwakura Registered: Apr '01	Date Posted: 6/24/03 2:06pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Ok, this is an entirely bizarre situation, but I used to REALLY dig this guy in a band I like (not a local band--about 11 hours away in NYC and I'm in Michigan) and I sort of lost touch with him/them because they're record company went out of business (haven't spoken with him in probably about 4 years). I just found out a few days ago that they were signed last year and have a new album out...so they are of course touring and playing here next month. I kind of think I'm a totally different person than I was 4 years ago, though. Back then I wasn't the political junkie I am now and I wasn't a big SW dork. I used to be into sorta different stuff. i.e.: me quite a few years ago (drag and drop) That's not a very clear pic, but you get the idea. Anyway...now I have shoulder length sorta plain moppy hair. I don't wear much make-up and I don't dress at all like I used to. I'm pretty average looking--although, people still treat me differently. So, that's one thing...I tend to be somewhat unsure of myself nowadays 'cause I'm not all that pretty. Boys used to look at me before because I was such a spectacle, plus the kinda boys I used to be into before had an appreciation for girls that looked as I used to, so it wasn't an issue. So again--I'm now a Plain Jane--and dunno if I'm going to be appealing to him anymore. I know it shouldn't matter, but it generally does. I guess I should also explain that I got a bit of an impression that he may have been into me too. I spoke to him online before I met him and he gave me the impression he thought I was attractive from my pics. When I finally met him at a show he kinda kept hugging me and before he left was all "ok, gimme a kiss before we go" Me, being the doofus I am just gave him a kiss on the cheek and he sorta looked at me funny, smiled and then left. I saw them play locally about 2 or 3 more times...one time he put my friends and I on the guest list, and another time we went back to their hotel room to hang out for a few hours. Overall, he seemed to like to hang out with me and talk to me since he could've hung out with a number of people after their show (as well as the other bands), yet he takes my friends and I along and rides in my car to the hotel instead of with the rest of his band in their van. I get so nervous every time I think of going to this show because of seeing him again and he'll undoubtedly remember me (I e-mailed someone else in the band recently about it..and she was all "yes of course I remember you!!") So, I'm not even really sure what I'm trying to get advised on here, but...I dunno..I guess, should I get my hopes up after all these years? I mean, I'm not exactly expecting a relationship because who knows what he's up to now and he doesn't live around here--I've done LD before, but I wouldn't be too thrilled at the prospect of that kinda thing ever again. I also kinda think being out of the relationship scene for over four years has made me, like, challenged or something: i.e. getting this fluttery/nervous over thing whole thing. Anyway, I dunno, bleh, oh well. If none of this makes sense, sorry, I just needed to sort it out somewhere and this seemed appropriate. -----signature----- "I always tried not to say anything weird."
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CUBIE_HOLE Registered: Jun '01	Date Posted: 6/25/03 12:01am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I doubt you're challenged or something. The nervous feeling never totally goes away, but you get use to it over time. I would imagine one might forget about things over a four year period. -----signature----- Do unto others, then run like hell. I don't suffer from stress. I'm a carrier.
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 6/25/03 9:12am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Ok, well, my advice would be if you really wanna flirt with this guy again, or get his attention, you shuld fix yourself up to be really dazzling. You say you dress plain now. Is there a reason for this that means a lot to you? Like, is it for religious reasons, or social protest, or something? Because if so, then it's a part of who you are, and you should just hope he likes that part of you, and if he doesn't, he ain't worth it. But if it's just because you don't feel like dressing up, or your friends you hang out with don't dress up or soemthing like that, then I would say, this is going to be an exciting night for you, do a total makeover...make yourself beautiful! Be flirty and friendly, and this time if he asks for a kiss...give him one, full on the lips! Anyway, good luck! -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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Iwakura Registered: Apr '01	Date Posted: 6/25/03 9:40am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Thanks for the responses CUBIE and Connemara. I was hoping I didn't sound like a psycho in that post. I just read online last night that it's been 5 years since they toured..so even a little longer that I haven't seen him than I thought, heh. Anyhow, I know I'll be so nervous. The first time I met him I wouldn't even go up to him myself, 'cause I had thought--"what if the person I've been talking to online just says they're in this band...and it wasn't really him. I'll feel so stupid!" So, my friends got him to come over to me and he was all "why didn't you come talk to me!?" I'm generally a pretty nervous person as it is, ESPECIALLY when it comes to talking to boys I have an interest in. So, I'm sure there's no way around that, heh. I guess I dress plain now just because I don't have the motivation to dress up for anything anymore. Back when I was more into that stuff I would wear, like, vinyl dresses and collars and a TON of make-up. Since, I'm not really into that whole sub-culture now I just don't really dress that way anymore. I don't think I would wear that kinda stuff again, but I do want to dress up. I can't go in there in a sw tshirt, jeans and some skechers or anything. I was looking online for clothes last night, but didn't have much luck. I'm sure I'll find something, though. Thanks again to both of you for the advice. -----signature----- "I always tried not to say anything weird."
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 6/25/03 10:23am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Yeah, I am in the same boat as you, actually. When I was younger I went through several different whild styles of dress, each one more drastic than the last- first, I dressed gothic, then I drowned myself in makeup and jewelry, then I started dressing miliaristically. I find in the long run, it's best to go with more average style of clothes, but good looking stuff, so people can tell you're attractive. And I couldn't live without my makeup, though I only wear a little bit, compared to the old days when I believed I didn't look pretty unless my lips were blood red. Or black, of course. Well, it sounds like this guy is very friendly. You need to prepare yourself in case he's changed, but keep in mind that this is just one, guy someone who means nothing to you as you haven't seen him in years. So if he is rude or ignores you, then no sweat off your back! It's his loss that he's turned into a creep. So try not to be nervous, because the more confident you are, the likelier he'll be to notice you, and notice how attractive you are. -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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crazybirdman Title: Vice President Or ange County, CA Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 6/25/03 10:40am Subject: Love advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	How do you forget? Without using alcohol? -----signature----- www.starwarsdisneyland.com
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Iwakura Registered: Apr '01	Date Posted: 6/25/03 10:44am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	"And I couldn't live without my makeup, though I only wear a little bit, compared to the old days when I believed I didn't look pretty unless my lips were blood red. Or black, of course." Ditto...I think that's why I ended up liking Aurra Sing so much when I got into SW, heheh. Plus she's awesome anyway. Yeah, I think over the next month I should talk myself down...expect disappointment and I won't be disappointed is how I generally do it. I mean, not like I'm gonna be miserable, but just not to expect much. After all, it's not as if I'll be seeing him anymore than a few hours anyway. Just possibly one night of boy-related entertainment. -----signature----- "I always tried not to say anything weird."
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 6/25/03 10:56am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Exactly. And I do find in matters of romance/flirting/crushes it's best to talk yourself down instead of up. That's what I always try to do. And then you're not upset, and oftentimes you are also less tense, because there are no expectations you feel have to be fulfilled. -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 6/30/03 5:08am Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Up -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 6/30/03 1:18pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Uppage again -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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Whimper Registered: May '99	Date Posted: 6/30/03 2:57pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large - Date Edited: 6/30/03 2:59pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Whimper
	Dear Conne, I currently live about 6 bazillion miles from normal civilization, in a strange place called Japan. I am the only non-Japanese person in my town. Also, I am the only person aged 19-28 in my whole town, because anybody my age has since left for bigger and brighter places. This makes dating hard, unless I want to date my students, a bunch of fifteen-year olds. Or my private students- a bunch of fifty-year olds. To solve this little problem, I tried seeking romance on an Internet Message Board populated by people who, like me, like those Star Wars movies that come out from time to time. But I found to my horror that this message board (with a population 3 times that of my whole town) was frequented ENTIRELY by a group as young as my junior high kids! This, despite the fact that the best of those spacey films came out 25 years ago- a full decade or more before these precocious toddlers were born! Though these generation Z tykes do have a professed interest in romance, if I was going to date an immature child I could do so easily with the ready supply of younglings that haven't yet escaped the clutches of my town's primary school system. Is a Star Wars message board the wrong place to be looking for love, or am I just going about it the wrong way? In either case, what should I do? Signed, A Year Without Sex In A Rice Paddie -----signature----- This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends This is the way the world ends Not with a bang but a whimper -- T.S. Eliot, The Hollow Men, 1925
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Vader666 Registered: Mar '03	Date Posted: 6/30/03 3:03pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Conne If I were to ask you, what's the most important thing in a relationship, how would you describe it to me? -----signature----- One day men will look back and say that I gave birth to the 21'st century
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Golightly Registered: Feb '03	Date Posted: 6/30/03 3:07pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Conne, There are two guys who like me. Neither of them, however, are people who live in my state. So I'm not sure if I really have a chance of having a real relationship with them. I kind of like both of them, but one of them moreso. Should I just be friends with both of them and see what happens, or what? I don't want either of them to get too attached to something that can't work out. What's your advice? -----signature----- Spaceballs: The Signature Since 1980, 9 kids have been killed by folding cafeteria tables.
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Connemara Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 6/30/03 3:36pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Whimper- I don't know what you're talking about, honestly. Most of the girls I talk to from here are as old as you are. Of course, most of them are already taken, so I understand where your dilemma lies. Course, I would recomend trying to JC Matchmaker, except you sassed the Matchmaker last week, and she doesn't like being sassed. Vader666- Hmm...most important thing...I think I would have to say loyalty. I am not talking merely in the sense of not cheating on your significant other, but in the sense of committing yourself to the person, and making a conscious effort to stay with them through the hard times as well as the good ones. Other things are important to, but they vary from relationship to relationship. Some people hafta have humor in their relationship, some a lot of romance and cooing, some a lot of physical intimacy (not of the cough sex kind, unless you are talking about marriage ), but that is different with each relationship. All relationships need loyalty and commitment to work. GoLightly- Well...do you see yourself as being happy with one or both of these guys? Lots of people have very fulfilling, siccessful long distance relationships, but it is harder and more of a challenge that close by relationships. I would recomend being friendly with these guys, and if you are interested in the possibility of a relatonship with one of them, then add flirtation into the mmix as well. If you definately aren't interested in either of them, then there's no reason for you to be cold to them, but don't flirt or do anything to lead them to believe you're interested. If you do that with someone who likes you, take it from me, you will be regretting it! -----signature----- @~`~ So you think you can love me and leave me to die? RIP Jeffy- clear skies from here on out
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