Jedi Council Forums - Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large

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Author	Topic: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
Drew_Atreides Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 11/8/04 2:59pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	...that's a tough one, Defiance.. I feel for ya.. I mean, the best advice would be "try not to see her", but if she's in your class, that's an impossiblity.. I suppose the best thing to do is to try to sit as far away from her as possible..Do your best to ignore her.. It'll be tough to do at first, but give it time.. And i know it seems like you won't ever find anyone else you can relate to, but you will... How involved were you with this girl? -----signature----- Be sure to tune in for the Big Giveaway at 9!
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Defiance Registered: Jul '99	Date Posted: 11/8/04 3:25pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large - Date Edited: 11/8/04 3:29pm (2 edits total) Edited By: Defiance
	I wasn't "involved" with her. But meeting her had my hopes up, stratospherically up. You've gotta understand it in context. Prior to meeting her, I was absolutely convinced someone like her doesn't exist. That would have been preferable to this, where she does exist, I see her all the time, and yet I can't do a damn thing about it. I do not think I'll meet anyone else like her and even if I did, I wouldn't be good enough anyway. Screw this. And I could try to ignore her, but it wouldn't do any good. This has happened before, a long time ago, and nothing ever worked. I had a hopeless crush for 9 years. The only time I did get over that was when I went away to university. And that was for a girl that I wasn't even compatible with. This is a completely different story. -----signature----- Your friendly neighbourhood idiot.
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NJOfan215 Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 11/9/04 7:31pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	ok defiance i think we need to look at this mathamaticly. How many girls have you really gotten to know? My guess is not that many. That is not ok. You need to get to know more girls. The more you sample the female population the better your odds are of finding another one that you feel you are compatable with. Also don't be a fraid to find a girl that you can tolerate but that you don't really care about and use her as a practice girl. The more girls you get the know the better your chances of find a decent one will be. Also talk to them over im. IM is great because you can say stuff to girls that you normaly might not have the courage to say to there face. Also don't act like a wuss when you're around them. i acted like a wuss on my date on sunday and it sucked. I mean i didn't feel a lot of chemistry or anything, but i didn't even try to lay the ground work for anything. I knew what to say but i acted like a wuss. Like i had at least four oppertunities to set things up and i didn't take them because i was being a wuss. Also don't volunteer any info that might make you look bad. Don't be dishonest, but don't volunteer anyhting. For example she asked me about my head injury, so i told her the story. I mentioned the part about me suffering some psycological problems briefly after that. It was the end of the story. She wanted to hear the story so i told her. To me it is no big deal because it lasted a whole two weeks. I told her that, but i immediatly was like i wish i could have that one back. She might totaly understand what happened, or she might be like oh crap that guys messed up. -----signature----- This council has zero tolerance for any sexual deviancy regarding our Jedi Knights.
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Defiance Registered: Jul '99	Date Posted: 11/9/04 8:00pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large - Date Edited: 11/9/04 8:02pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Defiance
	No, I don't know a lot of girls, but that is because they aren't interested in what I say. None of them are. None of them will even give a **** about what I talk about. I'm not a normal person; my conversational topics aren't normal. At this point, I have no problems just talking to them. I have problems relating to them. And that makes the difference between being able to get to know them, or just being part of the scenery. And it's not like I actually have the time to go out and meet them. Hell, I wouldn't even know where to meet them even if I did have the time. Student clubs? All guys. Parties? I ******* hate parties. Randomly off the street? I don't have the looks to get them interested in less than 30 seconds. Classes? Bwah, I have no electives so I see the same people all the time, every day. Believe it or not, I prefer RL conversations over IM or phone. It's much easier to keep things going if I'm actually there. Over IM its much too easy to get a lull in the conversation. It happens all the time. So really, I don't know what to do about it. Any doctors reading this? Is there a part of the brain you can cut out so I never think about women again? Because I'd love to take that piece of crap and toss it out the window. -----signature----- Your friendly neighbourhood idiot.
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NJOfan215 Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 11/9/04 8:24pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	What do you like to talk about? Meeting people is hard. I don't have much to say about that. If you find a good place to meet girls let me know. Parties are not the place to meet quality girls unless they are small and thrown by some one you know well and like. I know what you mean about having the same people in your classes all of the time. It sucks. I also have some trouble relating to people. I end up feeling like have to act a little different them how i normaly act when i first meet some one. Like i have to ease them into who i am. I dislike it. I have found that i do fairly well when i just say **** it and act like myself. I've been told i'm extremely funny, nice, and smart. I've also been told that i'm arrogant, annoying, and offensive. I think we need just be ourselves and not worry abpout what other think. Some times i feel like i would make a better vulcan, klingon, jedi, or sith then normal person. what about taking an extra 100 level bs class next semester to try and find some girls in that. Do any of your guy friends have gril friends who have single friends. MAybe they can hook you up. I think that sladomly worls, but it's worth a shot. Do you know any guys who are players? Maybe they can give you soem pointers. What about haging out at location where there are alot of girls. Maybe you can strike up a convo with one and maybe you'll be suprised. -----signature----- This council has zero tolerance for any sexual deviancy regarding our Jedi Knights.
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Cyprusg Registered: Nov '02	Date Posted: 11/9/04 9:06pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	How the heck do I get over this? I have that problem sometimes. Just recently I saw this girl that I hadn't seen in a couple of years, we had a little thing for a while, but between that time I really romanticized her and made her into something she wasn't, so when I saw her and found out she was getting married it hit me like a ton of bricks. So I dwelled on it for a few days and it just really depressed me, depressed me to the point of not being able to sleep. But then I just thought about all of her negative qualities, after doing that it kind of evened everything out and it made me view her in a more realistic way. So it still bothers me, but I'm not dwelling on it. But one thing that's always worked in the past for me is self-improvement. If you don't work out, do so. Buy some new clothes. Get a haircut. If you don't do any volunteering or extracarricular activities, do so. You really have to improve your self-worth. It'll also help keep your mind off of this girl. -----signature----- The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge
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Defiance Registered: Jul '99	Date Posted: 11/9/04 9:12pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I talk about everything people don't like to talk about. I talk about technology, space science, filmmaking (tech), scifi and whatever else pops into my head after having observed something particularly interesting (to me). I'm not "sophisticated" in that I'm unfamiliar with classical literature or music or philosophers. But I'm not "modern" and don't keep up with pop culture. So I'm stuck somewhere in what I can only describe as the event horizon of a black hole. Completely unable to communicate with the rest of the world. I was actually thinking of a busy bookstore to meet girls, see if any are in the same section of books that I'd like to read. Sadly, there isn't one near here and I don't have my car on campus to get to one. I suppose I can just completely unrestrain myself when I'm interacting with new people. But you know, people can be real jerks and I'd rather not give them some way to make fun of me. Next semester, I still don't have any electives. Heck, I have 6 courses instead of 5 and I'm doing an research assistantship. So practically that's 7 technical courses in one term. No time for an easy arts course. Of course, I know people who know girls but same problems apply. In fact, I know a few "players" but all of the girls they know are trashy or super-needy/dependent and they will try to take up all your time. I'd rather not get near them. -----signature----- Your friendly neighbourhood idiot.
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NJOfan215 Registered: May '03	Date Posted: 11/9/04 9:31pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I knew an a very cute girl that was into filmaking. In fact her favorite director was george lucas. She was in my english 2 class. She had a boyfriend. I don't think your interest are all that bizare. If i get 8 drunk people to listen to me talk about number theory at a party you can get one sober girl to talk to with you about something scientific. Try joining some science clubs or something. Hell start your own. I also liked the book store idea. It might be difficult to pull off but it's worht a shot. No one wants to open themselves up to getting made fun of, but it isn't that big of a deal. You seem to have a lot of other stuff going really well for you. It seems like you're kicking ass at school, you have a job, and a research assistantship. That can really get you a long way. It looks great on grad school applications. People may make fun of you for being a bit ocward socialy, but you're going to win in the end. Especialy once you get out of school and are making more money then they are. I hate klingy people. Most people completely take advantage of them, and they basicly invite this. If you want to take advatage of one go for it, it might be a fairly easy sell, but i think you're right to want to stay away from them in general. -----signature----- This council has zero tolerance for any sexual deviancy regarding our Jedi Knights.
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DerthNader Registered: Feb '01	Date Posted: 11/9/04 11:48pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I talk about everything people don't like to talk about. I talk about technology, space science, filmmaking (tech), scifi and whatever else pops into my head after having observed something particularly interesting (to me). I'm not "sophisticated" in that I'm unfamiliar with classical literature or music or philosophers I have the same problem as yourself, though in the other direction, in that I can talk about things like classical literature, etc., though perhaps not as eloquently as I would like. Either way, you'll find that most people aren't even interested in that, so it's not as if you're missing anything by not knowing about those subjects. They'll still look at you like you have three heads if you spout anything about Plutarch, for example. Off-topic, but you seem VERY familiar, Defiance. I have the barmiest notion I've run into you before, though I could be wrong. -----signature----- Genderfrak.
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Defiance Registered: Jul '99	Date Posted: 11/11/04 10:39pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large - Date Edited: 11/11/04 11:04pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Defiance
	But one thing that's always worked in the past for me is self-improvement. If you don't work out, do so. Buy some new clothes. Get a haircut. If you don't do any volunteering or extracarricular activities, do so. You really have to improve your self-worth. It'll also help keep your mind off of this girl. Good ideas, I just need to find the time management abilities to do all that. I don't think your interest are all that bizare. I just came to the realization that, while I could conceivably talk about my interests, I can't make the conversation into something a little more charged. In short, I can't flirt or otherwise show that I'm a fun person to be around. My looks don't help either (and how you really tell is if you make eye contact with someone and they just look away even if you're smiling or otherwise trying to be friendly... it happens with every single girl I see). Today I just saw some other guy in my class make a single comment (which I didn't hear) to the girl and that reaction of hers definitely said that the guy successfully flirted with her. And I was just so insanely jealous at that. I can tell people's levels of interaction with each other. For example, if a girl is interested in a guy, her tone of voice changes and she acts differently. I can only describe it as more "womanlike" whereas with a guy she's not interested in, she acts more like just another regular person. A girl's never acted like that around me. Which is why I'm beginning to think this is all useless. Try joining some science clubs or something. They're all guys. The few girls there are all have boyfriends and will generally shun people like me. Especialy once you get out of school and are making more money then they are. The way it looks like, I'm going into research. Which means no money. Which means no women. If you want to take advatage of one go for it, it might be a fairly easy sell, but i think you're right to want to stay away from them in general. Nah, even the highly dependent stay away from me. I'm just that bad. sigh Anyone want to lend me a Beretta and a single 9mm round? I promise you'll get it back without any scratches. You'll just have to pry it from me when I'm done with it. Either way, you'll find that most people aren't even interested in that, so it's not as if you're missing anything by not knowing about those subjects. Not all people are, but I feel that the world is a bit bimodal. You have the regular, pop-culture saturated crowd and the more "sophisticated" crowd. If you want to fit in to either group, you need to know the subject matter. Unfortunately, I don't in either case. Off-topic, but you seem VERY familiar, Defiance. I have the barmiest notion I've run into you before, though I could be wrong. Hmm... could be. Do you post at any other forums? -----signature----- Your friendly neighbourhood idiot.
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Drew_Atreides Registered: Apr '02	Date Posted: 11/11/04 11:02pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Honestly Defiance, the best advice i think you could get is to just keep trying. Do your best to get out to some more varied places. You say you like to talk film. Are there any form of film festivals that go on in your area? Or does your school have regular film showings on campus? (the school i currently work at has at least ONE movie going each friday night, and oftentimes, there are showings of documentaries and the like that go on. Plenty of film-geek chicks show up for these!) Also, the past couple years i've gone out for the Toronto Film Festival, and there are a plethora of women who show up there who want to talk nothing BUT movies (and some are interested in meeting guys with similar interests!) -----signature----- Be sure to tune in for the Big Giveaway at 9!
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Defiance Registered: Jul '99	Date Posted: 11/11/04 11:09pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	You say you like to talk film. Are there any form of film festivals that go on in your area? Or does your school have regular film showings on campus? My problem is that I'm mainly interested in filmmaking technology and not the film's other artistic value. Like when people bash the PT, I fail to understand that because I find the visual effects to be a work of art which is worth watching in and of itself. That makes me abnormal. I can watch cool visual effects all day and not get bored. So definitely, no one is interested in talking filmmaking with me because I'm not the artsy type of person. I find that I'm far too lacking in social experience to really be able to get involved in more social activities. Viscious cycle, I know. -----signature----- Your friendly neighbourhood idiot.
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Thomas_Watson Registered: Aug '04	Date Posted: 11/29/04 8:35pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	I seek the aid of the JC again. A simple question to pose: If someone comes back home from college every weekend, and sees you at least twice each time, if someone goes to the mall with you, even though she hates the mall, and all you needed was to pre-order a video game, if someone spends hours with you sitting on a roof in the park just looking at the night sky and talking, that someone is more than a friend, right?
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Wren_Away Registered: Sep '04	Date Posted: 11/29/04 8:38pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large
	Sounds like she likes you as more than a friend, but I would talk with her to clarify that. She may just enjoy your company as a friend and not see you as anything more. You'll have to ask her what she sees your relationship as. -----signature----- “Pyto and Tenel sitting in a tree… k-i-s-s-i-n-g…” Wren chanted as she giggled. Watch out boys Here comes trouble http://boards.theforce.net/Beyond_the_Saga/b10477/13913348/p82
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Mara-Jade-Skywalker Registered: Aug '00	Date Posted: 11/29/04 9:16pm Subject: RE: Love/romance advice lounge- no question too small, no question too large - Date Edited: 11/29/04 9:16pm (1 edits total) Edited By: Mara-Jade-Skywalker
	(no message) -----signature----- Headmistress \|\| JC Hogwarts House Cup I <3 XKCD \|\| http://xkcd.com/325/
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