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Topic:
[Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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ellybeanjay
Registered:
Jul '00
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Date Posted:
5/16 10:40pm
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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My parents paid for a good portion of our wedding, but the amount that it cost was money that we had in savings anyways, so we could have paid for it ourselves. (And would have, if my parents hadn't been so generous - the only difference is that we wouldn't have invited so many of their friends  )
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dizfactor
Registered:
Aug '02
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Date Posted:
5/16 11:56pm
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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Jaina_and_Jag posted:
In the long run, is having "the perfect wedding" something that really matters? If you don't have "the perfect wedding" is your marriage doomed?
Quite the opposite, apparently, if by "perfect wedding" you mean one of the ginormous events that people are so into. Apparently, the amount of money you spend on your wedding is directly proportional to your divorce rate, or so I've heard.
The whole wedding industry is a huge freaking scam. They know that people are willing to pay whatever they charge, so they jack up the prices on everything and completely work everyone over for stupid things that are so not worth what people pay.
If people want to spend money to pay for an event that suits them, that they can afford, and that makes them happy, by all means, go for it, but it bugs me to no end to see people drop significant amounts of money on totally generic weddings because they feel like they have to unless they want their special day to be RUINED.
I have no problem with people dropping ten or twenty grand on throwing a kick-ass party for their loved ones to celebrate their relationship, but the sense of obligation bothers me, as does the sense that the money is so poorly spent. If you're going throw a party for $15,000, make it unique and memorable and personal and creative and don't get duped into spending way too much money on all the stupid crap they try to sell you.
Also, I hate Bed, Bath, and Beyond. They get away with selling awful, overpriced crap because everyone registers there, and wedding guests just go down the list, find the thing in their price range, and buy it. I had three weddings to shop for last month, and just going through the registries blew my mind. Four words for you: EIGHTY DOLLAR BREAD KNIFE.
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ZebulaNebula
Registered:
Feb '05
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Date Posted:
5/17 1:02am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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Eleventh_Guard posted:
My $15,000 Wedding (hypothetical)
Document fees, drawing up a prenup, etc - $500 (I'm guessing)
Buying my sister lunch so she'll show up as a witness - $10
Buying the to-be spouse's sibling lunch so s/he will also show up - $10
New pants (I already own a dress shirt) - $40
Hemming of new pants - $10
Gas station stop for gas and snacks - $20
Disposable camera - $10
Sell old piece-of-**** car - negative $900
BRAND NEW CAR - $15,300
...okay, I cheated. I couldn't imagine myself spending more than a few hundred dollars on an event that could be handled much more cheaply with almost no loss of usefulness.
Damn, I wish I wind up marrying a gal with your attitude. I see more point in spending on vacations and tangibles than on one over-priced party. 75% of the ladies I know, though, want this big fancy affair that would run anywhere from $15k to $50k.
Although what my best friend from high school and his wife wound up doing was fun: her mother gave them a check specifically for the wedding, so they cut as many corners as they could, and then kept the difference.
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I Jedi mind-trick pushy salespeople ...
"You do not want to sell me jewelry/beauy products/shades/whatever."
They can take our lives, but they will never take our FREEDOM!
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WormieSaber
Registered:
Oct '00
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Date Posted:
5/17 2:06am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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Marriage is only worth it if you want to be a female slave. All of my friends who are married slowly became house wives, they cook and clean, and clean, and clean, and clean. Meanwhile, I'm getting a law degree, playing video games, planning the shoot of my next film project...wheeling and dealing...tossing the dice...living life on the edge...
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"Award winners don't push brooms" -- Turbo
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DarthPoojaNaberrie
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
5/17 7:27am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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how do your clothes get clean? what do you eat? 
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*fart*
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ophelia
Registered:
Jun '02
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Date Posted:
5/17 9:07am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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I don't remember how many times I've been a bridesmaid. 4? 5? Something like that?
I've seen big, delegated weddings and small, DIY weddings. I've seen big DIY weddings . . . those are insane--sewing on buttons at 2 a.m. with the wedding 72 hours away--but more satisfying IMO than similarly-elaborate ones where you just order everything out of a big book of photographs.
Still, they were all too much work for my taste. If I ever get married, it'll be in Vegas, by Elvis, in a drive-thru.
Later I'll get myself un-excomunicated by convincing the drunkest Catholic deacon I can find to convalidate the marriage.
I'll be happy. Anybody insane enough to marry me would be happy. The Pope will be happy. My relatives will secretly be happy because they didn't have to go through yet another year of wedding-planning hoo-hah.
I have way too many sisters and female cousins. The "new bride in the family" thing has been done.
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"Once upon a time, again."
--Onoto, NaNoWriMo entry
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Emperor_Billy_Bob
Registered:
Aug '00
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Date Posted:
5/17 9:22am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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::guesses that most of the people acting like they are chill and don't want to spend money on a big wedding will eventually anyway::
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"I'd hit it." - Lord Vivec in regards to Adolf Hitler
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ZebulaNebula
Registered:
Feb '05
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Date Posted:
5/17 10:18am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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I know what you mean about the "Next new bride" thing, Ophelia. I've got a dozen female cousins on my mom's side - and only two male ones. After a while, the family as a whole stopped caring. Thankfully most of my cousins are already married - although I'm the oldest unwedded male in the family(as far as the oldest single person in my generation that is actually likely to get hitched), so there's some pressure on me to rectify that.
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I Jedi mind-trick pushy salespeople ...
"You do not want to sell me jewelry/beauy products/shades/whatever."
They can take our lives, but they will never take our FREEDOM!
Feeling down? Have a mint.
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Eleventh_Guard
Registered:
Dec '05
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Date Posted:
5/17 10:47am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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Emperor_Billy_Bob posted:
::guesses that most of the people acting like they are chill and don't want to spend money on a big wedding will eventually anyway::
Considering that I bargain-hunted for prom shoes, that's not likely.
I also don't get how a person can have 300 friends to invite to a wedding. I thought that if you're going to invite anyone, it should be close family and close friends. In my case, that would be about ten people.
I'd feel guilty inviting people who are barely casual acquaintances, or family members I haven't seen in fifteen years, because it would look like reaching for gifts.
And that's part of the issue, too. Ignoring the fact that my ideal wedding would have no bride, a gift registry would be pointless. I already have basic furniture, including a queen-sized bed, and necessary appliances. I imagine that most people nowadays do too, the average age of marriage being so high.
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A conversation on Dathomir:
Welk: My daughter did that... I am blameless. I'm not even armed.
Jacen: And you just let her do whatever she wants?
Welk: You're new here, aren't you?
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timmoishere
Registered:
Jun '07
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Date Posted:
5/17 10:50am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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If I ever get married, I will just invite family members, some coworkers and a few other friends. No more than 20 invitees for me.
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What ain't no country I ever heard of. They speak English in What?
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Everything tastes better wrapped in bacon, especially bacon
11/20/2008: The day I married the most wonderful woman in the world
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ZebulaNebula
Registered:
Feb '05
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Date Posted:
5/17 10:56am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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Eleventh_Guard posted:
Emperor_Billy_Bob posted:
::guesses that most of the people acting like they are chill and don't want to spend money on a big wedding will eventually anyway::
Considering that I bargain-hunted for prom shoes, that's not likely.
I also don't get how a person can have 300 friends to invite to a wedding. I thought that if you're going to invite anyone, it should be close family and close friends. In my case, that would be about ten people.
I'd feel guilty inviting people who are barely casual acquaintances, or family members I haven't seen in fifteen years, because it would look like reaching for gifts.
And that's part of the issue, too. Ignoring the fact that my ideal wedding would have no bride, a gift registry would be pointless. I already have basic furniture, including a queen-sized bed, and necessary appliances. I imagine that most people nowadays do too, the average age of marriage being so high.
Ten People? I was thinking more along the lines of the Naboo wedding in AOTC: The couple, the officiator, and two witnesses. Although, I would tell everyone else - after the honeymoon.
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I Jedi mind-trick pushy salespeople ...
"You do not want to sell me jewelry/beauy products/shades/whatever."
They can take our lives, but they will never take our FREEDOM!
Feeling down? Have a mint.
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Sith-Lord-Gunray
Registered:
Aug '03
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Date Posted:
5/17 11:01am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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I always wanted to be a bridesmaid.
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Paint your ass like Rembrandt!
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DarthPoojaNaberrie
Registered:
Jun '05
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Date Posted:
5/17 11:09am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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my original, ideal plan called for only the bride, the groom, and the person performing the ceremony to be present. but everyone cried and whined about that, so i invited only close family and one or two close non-relatives who were old family friends.
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ZebulaNebula
Registered:
Feb '05
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Date Posted:
5/17 11:26am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
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DarthPoojaNaberrie posted:
my original, ideal plan called for only the bride, the groom, and the person performing the ceremony to be present. but everyone cried and whined about that, so i invited only close family and one or two close non-relatives who were old family friends.
That's why you tell folks after you elope.
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I Jedi mind-trick pushy salespeople ...
"You do not want to sell me jewelry/beauy products/shades/whatever."
They can take our lives, but they will never take our FREEDOM!
Feeling down? Have a mint.
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JediYvette
Title: Festive Pacific RSA
Registered:
Jan '01
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Date Posted:
5/17 11:44am
Subject:
RE: [Weddings] Is marriage really worth it?
- Date Edited:
5/17 11:45am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
JediYvette
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My father offered me money to elope. It was right after his co-worker's daughter got married and the whole thing cost him around $14,000. I was offered $5,000. 
But when I actually seriously said that I wanted to elope when I got married, my mother pitched an UBER FIT. So it looks like I am NOT eloping but when my mother complains about being stressed and stuff I already stated that *I* get to mention it was MY idea to elope.
And my wedding reception plans are less... "traditional" then she wanted, but hey it's my day. 
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Cheetos are the "Yvette-Tested Universal Cure-All" ----- Life's To Do List #3--watch the mists roll across the English Countryside ----- "Do I *LOOK* like I am dead???" --TBF 
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