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Topic:
JC Geographic
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Acharon
Registered:
Oct '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 11:02am
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
- Date Edited:
6/8/02 11:11am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Acharon
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Ding dang diddly doo kiddies! It seems our hero is in quite the pickle. Lets take a gander at the ensuing catastrophe eh?
Our coverage of the dreaded mod squad continues....
Grabbing a dead and gutted comrade Acharon rolls the corpse over him and prays for salvation. Lying in cover he waits. Sounds of death and destruction fill his ears as he quivers in his boots. Whispering "Fools, incompetents. I'm surrounded by morons. I'll be lucky to survive this yet again." Peering from under his make shift bunker Acharon watches as Kadue, chattering like a squirrel in heat, flings himself from tree top to tree top. Passing over the gore below he settles next to Vertical. Letting loose a stream of pee he urinates upon the last remaining team members. Ripping the humvee driver's skull clean off, DarthSapient suddenly looks up. Befuddled as he feels a warm saturation of his cloak. Seeing Kadue, DarthSapient screams with rage as he throws severed limbs at him. Cackling and swinging about Kadue taunts his fellow clansmen.
Turning to widen his view Acharon spies Chyren lumbering towards the humvee. Watching wide eyed, fascination turns to horror as Chyren chews a fender clean off the humvee. Suppressing the urge to flee Acharon holds still. A tire pops as the prehistoric bohemeth sucks it down like a donut. Dipping the next tire daintily in blood the ominous creature continues his feast.
A long thin object appears in the grass. Mr. Neck looks about, not having the heart for senseless slaughter his head retreats like a parascope into the reeds. The camera man, running for his life is taken down swiftly by one of the groups generals. The furry creature burys his fingers deep into the poor boys eye sockets. The one known as The Hair Piece coyley toys with the his blinded pray. Spinning the boy about like a twisted game of pin the tail on the JC'er, Gen. Madine's Hair Piece plants a foot in the kids rear and sends him groping forwards. Commander Antilles moves through the pack, slaughtering all who appear before him. Friend and foe alike are sent sprawling as he advances to the front lines.
A lone mod throws Tolken books in every direction. Gandolf the Gray, eyes sparkling, recites passages from the Hobbit. Deafened by the hysterical rantings of this mad man, the last remaining team member falls victim to the confusing barrage of words. Rolling onto his back the team member is set upon by jasman. Darth Ludicrous howls with glee as he helps jasman, and Gandolf the Gray tear the man to shreds.
Blood, soaking his clothes from the corpse above Acharon waits for the inevitable. The horror before him overwhelms his fragile mind, our hero, slips into unconsciousness........
Edit:
I swear, ezcodes hate me....
-----signature-----
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
Please, call me Heavy. 
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StarWars_Revelation
Registered:
Aug '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 2:59pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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Upperhauzen! Ich ist time vor die German guy to come in and zave you, ja?
-----signature-----
The mousy girl screams violence, violence!
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Kerr_Plunk
Registered:
Apr '02
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 3:03pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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oh! i love it! excellent post Acharon!
keep them coming!
-----signature-----
come on you target for faraway laughter, come on you stranger, you legend, you martyr, and shine!
lemon puddin'
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jedi-mind-trick
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Jul '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 3:06pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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Heavy...this is insane. I love it!
Well done! 
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Malazaf
Registered:
Apr '02
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 3:06pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
- Date Edited:
6/8/02 3:07pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Malazaf
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Perhaps we need extreme measures-- like removing his computer? It may be our only hope for his survival.
edit: We need to change the title to 'Graphic JC-- A Behind the Scenes look at the online version of bad accounting'.
-----signature-----
Te aurdire no possum.Musa sapienum fixa est in aura.
ALL ROVE LOVE U LONG TIME!!!1
I wanna go to sugercandy mountain!!!!!1
14th Century ways are the best ways.
×ÖDiaeresisesÖ×
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Acharon
Registered:
Oct '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 3:33pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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JMT!
Your thoughts are much appreciated!
I am currently saving my money to pay off the gaurd here at the asylum. As soon as I'm out again, I shall report more of my findings......
-----signature-----
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
Please, call me Heavy.
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JediASolo
Registered:
Dec '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 3:42pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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lol!
-----signature-----
Everything else was taken.
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Acharon
Registered:
Oct '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 5:41pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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There are times....
-----signature-----
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
Please, call me Heavy.
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Malazaf
Registered:
Apr '02
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 5:48pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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If I didn't give myself MRI's daily, I'd think so too.
-----signature-----
Te aurdire no possum.Musa sapienum fixa est in aura.
ALL ROVE LOVE U LONG TIME!!!1
I wanna go to sugercandy mountain!!!!!1
14th Century ways are the best ways.
×ÖDiaeresisesÖ×
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Acharon
Registered:
Oct '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 9:14pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
- Date Edited:
6/8/02 9:17pm (1 edits total)
Edited By:
Acharon
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JC Geographic:
A heros fall from grace....
Waking in a hot, bug infested hospital Acharon flails about groggily...
Having been found by a native hunting party, he is carried hog bound to a head hunters encampment. Seeing the unconcious documentarist, a German paleontologist steps in and rescues him from being eaten for dinner.
The chief head hunter, having been quoted as saying "Mmm, he make um good stew. Shame funny talking bone man stole dinner from tribe. Me thinks we eat the next bone man we see."
Oozing slowly from a drug induced fog Acharon sees a beautiful young woman before him. Blinking in awe he rubs his eyes and attempts to focus. Looking at the confused Acharon, nurse Goldberry smiles and rams a thermometer into Acharon's mouth.
"You looked like you got ran over by a beer truck when I first saw you. I should get a commendation for saving your life." Frowning she yanks the thermometer from his mouth and reads it. "Hmmm, no more fever. I'd say you have a clean bill of health now. Not taking into account the multiple lacerations and bruises. You don't know how lucky you are that you clot well."
Stepping from behind a curtain StarWars_Revelation peers past Goldberry and says ""Techzilly Ich am die vone zat zaved him, ja?" Eyeing the paleontologist angrily Goldberry sticks out her tounge and gives him the raspberry award. "Zat vas uncalled for ja?"
Slipping back into unconcioussness our hero lies still yet again.
Recovery is slow for Acharon. Months of physical rehab and a good shrink bring him as near to healed as he will ever come. Bent on the destruction of the evil species, revenge fuels his recovery. Like a boxer in training for a prize fight, he strives onward. Pushing himself past the pain and anguish caused by these twisted beings, he makes himself stronger. Molding himself into a warrior, he plots the destruction of them all........
Slinking about the tropical JC he becomes one with the environment. Like a chameleon he blends into the undergrowth. Eyes open he watches the canopy for signs of movement. An IronParrot flutters around, seemingly disoriented. No longer encumbered by a camera man, or crews, he stalks his pray. Maliciousness devouring his soul, hatred welling inside him. Having discovered the dark side while in training this force pours forth from his being like a fog.....
Spotting a small enemy encampment, he strikes without warning, with out mercy. Four mods fall beneath his blade. Lord_Rive, Lobot_Omy, and Sturm Antilles all lay dead. Coughing blood, Darth Sebious looks up and asks "Why?" Acharon moves on, leaving the wounded creature to die alone.
Searching for more pray our fallen hero treks on....
Coming to a clearing Acharon gazes upon a magnificent sight. A hole, the size of a large swimming pool drops straight downward. Lined by a granite rock face, and oozing a green slime the pit looks uninviting. Having a moment of clarity, Acharon thinks "This must be what they refer to as the abyss..." Holding perfectly still, Acharon watches intently as an unreasonably tall creature strides towards him. The hairy beast glides past, mere inches from his hiding place, howling his delight as strides merilly along. PeterMayhew, having not seen Acharon, dissapears into the forest.
Attaching some rope to a nearby tree, Acharon begins his decent. Repelling into the dark caverness opening, cold air swirls about his face. The humidity makes his skin sticky. The smell of mold and rotting threads fills his nostrils. Appalled by the stench he forces himself lower into the black pit. A locked thread narrowly misses his nose at it carrines past. Letting his eyes adjust slowly to the change of light he pauses. A bat like creature zips past screeching loudly. "Hmm, must be the one they call Sebulba-X. So this is where these accursed things hide. Disgusting actually. How do they stand it down here?" Dropping further into the blackness our fallen hero stays close to the walls. Moving slowly, and making as little noise as possible he peers downwards. Looking upon a greenish glow, he decides to investigate.....
A small ledge juts out from the side of the slick rock face. Resting upon the perch he gazes at an incredible sight indeed. A small opening in the rock reveals zerosleep, sitting changed at a computer desk he speaks in tounges. Banging his head on the monochrome monitor over and over again, his ramblings unintelligable to Acharons ears. "Hmmm, must be a 486." Acharon thinks to himself. Smiling silently at the creatures torment, he drops ever lower into the bottomless pit.
Freezing in fear Acharon's life flashes before his eyes as a flourecing lizard comes into view. Tounge scanning the air like a whip, it sweeps its head back and forth. Realizing its just Silmarillion, Acharon lets out a small sigh of relief. His feet dangle in open air as he lets out some more rope.....
Reaching the end of his rope, Acharon frees a pile of old threads from an outcropping with his feet. Stepping onto the rock he looses himself from the rope. As he trys to look into a crevice he hears what sounds like voices. The faint aroma of cherry tobacco filters through the tight opening. Taking a deep breath and expelling it he squeezes past the opening. Walking freely now he feels his way down a long corridor. After a few shallow bends in either direction a light shines brightly at his feet. Sticking to the walls he advances upon the sounds. Scanning a room before him he sees Azeem, The Gatherer, Scott, MaxVeers, epic, and Son of the Suns all playing poker. Bantering back and forth merrily while trading chips they sip decanters of wine and ale. DarthAttorney sits in a Lazy Boy puffing on a cherry filled pipe. Pouring over law books, he seems to be ignoring cbjedi's attempts to engage him in conversation. Continuing his musings, he turns the pages of a dusty old book. Blinking, and thinking to himself that he must certainly be dreaming. Acaharon trys to tear his eyes away from the scene laid out before him. Unable to do so his mind drinks deeply of the mod's activities. Joshua Griffin pacing, slowly wears a trench into the bedrock. He mumbles something about his evil plan to destroy Aldera net, and TheFarce net. Outnumbered Acharon slips back into the shadows from which he came. Mind racing as he travels back down the corridor he slips on some moss and is knocked unconcious yet again......
-----signature-----
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
Please, call me Heavy.
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StarWars_Revelation
Registered:
Aug '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 9:33pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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Excellent
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The mousy girl screams violence, violence!
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Acharon
Registered:
Oct '01
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Date Posted:
6/8/02 10:12pm
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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I'm open for suggestions people. 
What plot twists should I through at our unfortunate hero???
-----signature-----
Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups
Please, call me Heavy.
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JadeSaber
Registered:
Jan '02
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Date Posted:
6/9/02 12:05am
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
- Date Edited:
6/9/02 12:09am (1 edits total)
Edited By:
JadeSaber
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Acharon, this is hysterical!!
Err... I mean... Nice field study.
-----signature-----
Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the window... wielding a lightsaber. 
Mushawan to RebelMom 
Women are evil individually and worse in packs. 
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Mr.Neck or Yarael Poof
Title: Manager Emeritus
Registered:
Apr '00
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Date Posted:
6/9/02 4:32am
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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Great stuff heavy!
-----signature-----
Dark Lord of the JCC
"You can't have everything. Where would you put it?"
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Goldberry
Registered:
Oct '01
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Date Posted:
6/9/02 6:01am
Subject:
RE: JC Geographic
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Man, you need to get a field medic on this expedition! Wicked! I know how to use a thermometer!
<<beautiful young woman...>>
Awwww...  Thanks, Acharon!
-----signature-----
'Mary 'ad a little lamb. I bit it in the head.' - Balrog of Moria http://www.yougotta.com/Goldberry
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