Jedi Council Forums - Headlines that will NEVER happen.

Locked Topic | Read Only Topic | Previous Active Topic | Next Active Topic

« 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 - Previous | Next | Reload

Author	Topic: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
Jango313 Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 1/4/03 5:58pm Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	Jango313 Takes Over the World!!! -----signature----- "The Ring is Mine...." "It can be truly said that I have a bat in my belfry." "Thou shall not kill, remember? Just what the Hell kind of a church-man are you?" "Jerry, just remember, it's not a lie if you believe it."
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jedi_Satimber Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 1/4/03 6:08pm Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	I posted this back in Sept. J.Lo is prego w/the love child of Ben Affleck , they are going to get married now...so, this might happen. ______________________________________ New one... Israel, Palestine, India and Pakistan all urge North Korea to join Iraq in starting WWIII -----signature----- Goodbye Taz, I will miss you. - RIP 5/93 - 3/17/06 Council Master and co-founder of the SSA AHBY \| Master, Ridiculous Pant Remover of Blueity EUDF Admiral \| Hero = Pat Tillman LS Council Master - sccrman95 \| WARD-Suite 309
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Tupolov Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 1/4/03 6:27pm Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	I ate a peanut-butter sandwich today. No one cares -----signature----- Terminated
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
dp4m Registered: Nov '01	Date Posted: 1/4/03 7:55pm Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	France surrenders! But we see that one ALL the time! "Wanna buy a French rifle? Only been dropped once..." -----signature----- "Looks like you're about to get pwned" - Eric Cartman "Awarding experience points for cleverly and creatively generating an enjoyable experience. How warped is that?" - Darths & Droids
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
DarthTunick Title: Arena's Streak for Colors Host Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 1/4/03 10:25pm Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	Saddam & Bush have been reported to be dancing in the fields in Kentucky, singing 'Why can't we be friends' California masses an army, bombs Las Vegas & Salt Lake City, takes over the 2 states, & renames the area the Californian Empire Militia in northern New Jersey attack Staten Island, militiamen there take action by declaring war on Jersey City & Newark New York City dips in population from 8,000,000 to 25,000; residents moved to New Jersey City, formely known as Hoboken The Big One, an earthquake measuring 9.8 on the Richter Scale, finally destroys Los Angeles, the rest of the U.S. cheers in happiness The latest Census shows Wyoming has decreased it's population by 150%, leaving the state with a population 1138 people DarthTunick, i California! -----signature----- September 11th, 2001 -Never forget Viva Los Angeles! RIP, Cody "Snowball" Reeves, 1978-2008. Lawrence Tanter is my homeboy. 2009-2010 L.A. Lakers: 9-3, my record at Staples Center: 0-1
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
starwars6554 Registered: Jul '02	Date Posted: 1/4/03 11:35pm Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	Several posters at the JC have made a "home-made" helicopter and flown to KFC to steal all the cicken. They then take the chicken to Somalia to trade it for AK-47's. Hockey becomes most popular sport in America Sadam Huesssein steps down from power and now works at a supercuts -----signature----- AHBY! \| BYS Master \| Dean of Admissions and Official BYS Caretaker The Luminescent Lightheaded Lunatic of Imbecilic Frivolity C...eh....N...eh....D.....eh. "Someone has to pull me under before I try and drag you down. " - Finger Eleven
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Attack_Of_Da_Gnomes Registered: Jan '02	Date Posted: 1/5/03 12:11am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	France doesn't surrender! (under that) Gore demands recount! -----signature----- Yes! I confess! I stole the captain's shoes while he was drunk! Read my bio. I dare you. A Beatles fan. Sie sehen alle Ihre Erinnerungen. Alle Ihre Erinnerungen und Ihre Ängste. To Bill Brasky!!
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
foxbatkllr Title: SDFF VIP Registered: Jul '01	Date Posted: 1/5/03 12:19am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	Canada Swears it's Really Not America Jr. Tonya Harding Voted Sexiest Woman Major League Baseball Adopts a Salary Cap, Becomes Competitive Again -----signature----- Final Ranking: ROTS, ESB, AOTC, ANH, TPM, ROTJ
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jack_T_Chance Registered: Aug '02	Date Posted: 1/5/03 1:17am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	DC Comics admits mistake, brings back Hal Jordan as Green Lantern! sigh DC Comics and Warner Bros. announce production has begun on Green Lantern movie! Immigrants to the US required to prove fluancy in English to gain entry to country! Heavy Metal declared the number 1 musical genre on the Billboard charts. People finally learn how to just all get along. -----signature----- Knowledge is power Power corrupts Study hard Be evil --From a T-shirt I saw
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jedi_Master_Damir Registered: Jan '02	Date Posted: 1/5/03 2:35am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	"Psychic wins lottery!" -----signature----- There are no ordinary moments.
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
DarthTunick Title: Arena's Streak for Colors Host Registered: Nov '00	Date Posted: 1/5/03 4:46am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen. - Date Edited: 1/5/03 4:54am (1 edits total) Edited By: DarthTunick
	WWE wrestling has replaced Hockey has Canada's favorite sport Surfing the tv while sitting on the couch will be included as an Olympic event for the 2012 games The 2012 Summer Olympic Games will be held in Bakersfield, California Bush clones himself, remians president for another decade Today is Bob Hope's birthday, he is 327 years old Lucas admits Jar Jar was a mistake, slaps himself in the head Opening in L.A. & New York City today is Friday the 13th part 32, Jason fights in the battle of Gettsyburg England invades East Coast, takes back it's original 13 American colonies, excluding West Virginia; U.S. reduced to 37 states Jesus Christ made an appearence today in San Francisco, Chicago, Boston, London, Paris & Berlin, quote: "I felt like taking a break from eternal paradise." California has become the most populous region in the world, with 12.8 billion people, traffic a hellish nightmare in L.A. The Academy Awards have been moved from Hollywood to Toldeo, Ohio The Northern New Jersey Milita have now taken over Albany, Rochester, & Utica; Governor Pataki makes a desperate plea to end the Militia's reign of terror, plea goes ignored The University of Berkely, California has become a hotbed for conservative Republicans, while Texas has become a brothel for liberal Democrats Osama Bin Laden has quit his job as a terrorist & now is mayor of Biloxi, Mississippi The Devil & God were seen at a L.A. Lakers game cheering the Kings, despite the fact the Kings lost 101 to 123 The New York Yankees lost again to the Anaheim Angels, thus eliminating them from the playoffs, Red Sox fans have been sent to New York to help grieving Yankee fans The Boston Red Sox have won the World Series by sweeping the Dodgers in 4! New York City mayor Bloomberg crossed over Niagra falls successfully in a wicker basket on a dare from former N.Y.C. mayor Giuliani, Giuliani owes Bloomerg $3000 In a unsuccessful run, Holk Hogan lost the race for Governor of Minnesota to The Rock The Hollywood sign was altered this morning by pranksters & it read 'Ho Wood', which fits Hollywood's thriving prostitution operations, which gives the L.A. economy $33 billion dollars a year Godzilla died of a heart attack today, he was 49; he made over 20 film appreances, excluding the 1998 American stinker CloneAind told CNN this morning that their claim of cloning the 1st human was indeed full of **** The Force.Net has been taken over by a porn company from Chatsworth & has been renamed The Porn.Net Lorne Greene admits that SNL ain't what it used to be King Kong died today of bowel complications, he was 70 years old God flipped off the world today from the cloudy reaches of heaven, when interviewed he said "The Devil made me do it." The Democratic part died last night, following complications from the midterm elections; the party was over a century old Walter Mondale has become mayor of Crescent City, California at age 134 Rodan died today of a drug overdose, he was 37 The Hollywood sign had to be taken down this morning after a stream of crows, pigeons, hawks, & sea gulls did their business; the sign will be back on Mt. Lee in three weeks Seattle reported 327 days last year with sunsine The San Fernando Valley beat Manhattan in a popularity vote by over 57% E.T. died due to complications from neck surgery, he was 21 in human years & 1138 years old in Alien years Signs of human life were found today in Wyoming, North Dakota, & Alaska Bigfoot was injured in a bicycle crash in Yomsemite National Park, he'll be out of the full body cast in 3 years The Loch Ness monster committed suicide earlier today, he was 66 Andy Rooney turned 155 years old today Queen Elizabeth II today ate a London McDonalds for breakfast; she spilled hot coffee on herself & will sue the McDonald's for a trillion pounds Marty McFly & Doc Brown have travled to the year 2030 to see if 'Back to the Future part 7', which is based from their own lives, will do any good in the box office Joan Rivers face fell off & entered a strom drain off Sunset Blvd. John Goodman has sued McDonald's, Burger King, & Krispy Kreme for making him fat A new U.S. law was put into effect today stating that having sex with Roseanne is illegal Frankstein was murdered in his Hollywood Hills home last night, the Wolf Man is the L.A.P.D.'s top suspect O.J. admitted today to the L.A. Times that he in indeed guilty Fat Albert died of a heart attack last night following a 37 hour doughnut eating contest in Brooklyn The Invisible Man ran into the path of a bullet train & remians in a coma in a hospital in Tokyo Ozzy Osbourne stopped shaking today, but only for 15 minutes Britney Spears fake boobs fell off today in a appearance with Bill Clinton in Harlem Chyren has been elected mayor of San Francisco The Hollywood sign was repainted bright green to camaflouge it in case of a terrorist attack Today's terror alert color is puke brown N*Sync admitted today that they have no talent Keith Richards died today, he was over 10,000 years old Trent Lott has joined the Mississippi chapter of the NAACP The Pillsberry Doughboy was run over today in L.A. & was instantely flattend; he survived the ordeal The Sacramento Kings have won the NBA Finals! DarthTunick, i California! -----signature----- September 11th, 2001 -Never forget Viva Los Angeles! RIP, Cody "Snowball" Reeves, 1978-2008. Lawrence Tanter is my homeboy. 2009-2010 L.A. Lakers: 9-3, my record at Staples Center: 0-1
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Lurking_Around Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 1/5/03 4:53am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	Saddam replies to America's demands by shouting "You shall not pass!". Next day... Iraqis overthrow Saddam since they do not want a Tolkien geek as dictator Next day... Bush says: "Who's Tolkien? Some damn Marxist or something?" Next day... Congress plans to impeach Bush, but plans put on hold while everyone go watch TTT first. In related news, the rest of the world dies laughing. -----signature----- "Bealocwealm hafað fréone frecan forth onsended" (An evil death has set forth the noble warrior) --Eowyn (Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers) The Holy Stand-In of the Cult of the Blue Numbers After The Thread Titles
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jedi knight Pozzi Registered: Apr '00	Date Posted: 1/5/03 5:41am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	And the sub heading to: `Keith Richards died today, he was over 10,000 years old' is: Despite birthdate only in last century. -----signature----- 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 14
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
Jedi_Jess Registered: May '02	Date Posted: 1/5/03 6:32am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	Non-final NSL (National Soccer League) game is televised on commercial TV I’m allowed to dream ok John Howard stands up to George Bush and tells him to fight his own war as if……the damn sheep -----signature----- In your most insignificant actions, there is an enormous about of heroism
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History
AssassinDroid21 Registered: Jun '02	Date Posted: 1/5/03 9:54am Subject: RE: Headlines that will NEVER happen.
	Liv Tyler cures Cancer Eminem becomes "one with the song" and drowns himself in the trunk of his car
	Locked Topic \| Active Topic Notification \| Private Message \| Post History

« 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 - Previous | Next | Reload