JCC What's your favorite dumb joke?

Why did the girl fall off the bike?
Somebody threw a refrigerator at her.

Why did the refrigerator fall off the bike?
Somebody threw a little girl at it.

What has four wheels and flies?
The town garbage truck.

What's green and sits outside on the back porch?
Paddy O'Furniture.

Is your refrigerator running?
It is? Then you'd better catch it before it gets away!

What's green, weighs forty tons and lies at the bottom of the ocean?
MOBY SNOT!

 

A Buddhist monk walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

 

Two eggs are sitting in a frying pan. First egg turns to the other and goes "Man, it's hot in here." Second egg goes "Holy %$#@ It's a talking egg!"

 

Why did the monkey fall out the tree?

It was dead.

 

Why did the chicken fall out the tree?

It was stapled to the monkey.

 

The Wocky Awards

 

What did the chemistry professor write down while he was playing Half-Life?

NaCl
____
NaOH ...the base is under a salt.




In my defence for that horrible quip, there are only bad chemistry jokes left now because all the good ones Argon.

 

This one I see from time-to-time via social media feeds:


.


What a clever pun!!! Math puns are especially clever!

 

Awww I wanted to post that one.

 

So anyway, there's a guy who has a penis that's 25 inches long. This causes him some issues, and he goes to a doctor to ask if anything can be done about it.
"Well, there's nothing medically I can do for you," says the doctor, "but here's the number for this witch who's had some success with these issues. Go talk to her."
So the guy goes to the witch and she tells him, "Go out into the woods and find your way to a clear blue pool. There will be a frog there. Ask the frog to marry you, and you will find your problem reduced."
So the guy goes into the woods and finds his way to the pool, and a tired, annoyed-looking frog. Feeling a bit foolish, the guy asks the frog: "Will you marry me?"
"No," says the frog, annoyed. And the guy finds that, amazingly, his penis has been reduced in length by five inches!
Thinking this is wonderful, he asks the frog again: "Will you marry me?"
"No," says the frog, frowning. And again the guy has lost five inches off his penis! "Well," the guy thinks to himself, "I might just ask one more time, because it's okay to have a penis ten inches long." And he asks the frog: "Will you marry me?"
The frog looks at him with an angry glare. "Didn't you hear what I just said? NO, NO, NO!"

 

This one should be told to a gullible person as a current event:
Did you guys hear about the kid who was throwing a rock over an interstate overpass? He tied a string around his arm, and then he tied a string around a rock and would throw it over the bridge in order to freak out cars. A semi truck ended up hitting the rock and the rock got caught in can after shattered the windshield. The kid was kind of intertwined on the bridge railing and the string was tough enough that it actually severed his arm and the semi dragged his armed as the driver came to a stop. The driver was arrested and charged.

They'll say, "What?!"

"They charged him with armed robbery."

 

You'll go back to lurking again soon, eh?

 

What kind of cakes do policemen like?

Cop cakes.

 

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?

Pumpkin pi.

 

What kind of doctors are always on-call?








Oncologists.

 

Q: How man surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Fish

 

Boneless chicken

 

How do you think the unthinkable?

With an itheberg.

 

why did the chicken?

snood!

 

Some "good" ones from the campers at work:


How does a tree get on the internet?

It logs in.


What's the loudest part of a tree?

It's bark.


Why did the oyster go to the gym?

To work on its mussels.

 

Why did the koala fall out the tree?
It was dead.

Why did the second koala fall out the tree?
The first koala hit it.

Why did the third koala fall out the tree?
He saw the other two and thought it was a game.

 

What is white and has a yellow scarf?

Rupert the Fridge.