Beyond - Legends The God of Second Chances (DDC 2015) 12/23/15 (OCs, Solos) Complete (Cover posted 4/24/17)

This is so cute! And I love Blue's medical commentary throughout But just from Blue's gaze at the whiskey, I can't help but feel that something is going to go very wrong, very soon

 

In #3 this was my favorite part

This was a most valiant explanation and a beautiful one also.

I thought the hit about Bree's tattoo was fun.

And I adored the card game with all of his friends and Bree's answer to their living arrangements.

 

Thank you! Appreciate your reply. I’d like to think that there are many different beliefs, especially since the Force philosophy seemed so foreign to Luke in AHN. And I just extrapolated from Ghent’s obsession with codes into being something every Barolian is interested in.

Thank you! You know, I really struggled with that scene for some reason. But Bree feels safe on the ship, and she can admit their relationship. But outside the ship, different story.

Thank you for your reply! And yeah, Blue is hurting more than he is letting on.

Thank you very much! Blue adores her, and he has made some good friends. Thankfully, Bree adores him right back.

 

[6]

I knew something was wrong immediately that next morning. I sat up and looked over at Blue, and he was curled up at the edge of our bed, shaking. He had his forearms raised over his face, with his hands on the top of his head, and he writhed in pain.

“Baby?” I reached over and put my hand on his back, and his skin was cold and clammy. “Sweetheart, what’s wrong?”

He buried his head deeper in his arms. “Go away.”

I felt so helpless that I wanted to cry. “Blue, what’s wrong? What can I do to help you?”

He lowered his arms and crossed them on his chest. “Just go away.” He swallowed hard as another shudder tore through him. “Leave me alone. Keep the lights low. Leave and lock the door behind you.”

I drew my hand gently across his shoulder and he gasped, so I jerked my hand away. “Just get out, Bree. Lock the door from the outside so I can’t leave. Come back in three hours.”

Gently, I lifted his hair off his face where it had matted, then pulled the sheet up to cover him better. “Blue? Can I get you something?”

He curled up at the edge of the bed and buried his head in his arms again. “Just get out. GET OUT.”

It killed me to leave him, but clearly this was what he wanted. “Three hours, Blue. I’m coming to check on you in three hours.”

I dressed hurriedly in the dark, then did as he asked, locking the door behind me. I was in the mess hall grabbing some stimcaf when Thom came in. One look at me and he grew serious.

“Bree, are you okay?” he asked.

“Blue’s sick,” I said. I picked at my fingernail as I waited for the stimcaf to fill my mug.

Thom’s shoulders dropped and he sighed. “He’s having a bad day, huh.”

I stared at him. “This is what he means by a bad day?” I took my mug. “He looks like he’s dying. He threw me out of our quarters.”

Thom folded his arms and looked at me sympathetically. “This happens, Bree. He’s gonna be hurting for most of the day.” He took his mug and we began to walk together. “C’mon. I’ll go with you to help with the refugees. That’s what I used to do when this happened in the past.”

“He’s been like this before?” I could not believe that Blue had suffered like this and had never told me.

Thom shrugged. “Happens a couple times a year. Actually, it happens a lot less now, since you’re around. You make him happy so he isn’t as stressed out.”

“But he didn’t drink anything and I know he hasn’t taken any drugs. How can he get like this without taking anything?”

Thom tapped the side of his head. “Because it isn’t what he puts in his body. It’s already in there, part of the spice addiction. It’s in his mind. Can’t run away from that, Bree.” He looked at me. “When did he tell you to come back?”

“Three hours.”

He nodded knowingly. “Okay. Leave him alone. Let him work it out. He has a prescription for a sedative, and if he can take that, he’ll be asleep when you get back. Then when it wears off, he’ll be better.”

“Are you sure? I feel like I should be doing something more.”

He smiled reassuringly. “He’s gone through this before. He’ll be fine.” Thom shook his head. “I shoulda known. I saw him eyeing the whiskey last night. You saw it too. He’s craving bad.”

What Thom said hit me. I had seen him staring at the bottle. But I had no idea how bad the cravings could be, or how physically painful they were for him. I went off to the cargo area with Thom, who checked up on the people that Blue had written concerns about in his notes. But I could not really focus on what I was doing.

Three hours crawled by slowly. At last, I put away my datapad and excused myself to go check on Blue. My stomach clenched when I got to our quarters, afraid of what I might find. When the door slid open, the room was as dark as I had left it. I listened, and I heard his slow, deep breathing. I set the lights to 20 percent. Blue was sleeping, but he still looked ashen. On the floor was a hypo case, and the injector lay on the sheet. So he had been able to get up and sedate himself. I recalled seeing the case on the shelf next to his bed but I had never thought to ask him what was in it. Now I knew.

I reduced the lighting back to five percent and left him to sleep. That night, after dinner, I came back. I quietly entered the room to see him sitting up in bed, wearing a shirt, and reading. He looked up at me with bloodshot eyes as I came in, and he mustered a smile.

“Hey.” I put a tray on the desk. “I got you something to eat. How are you feeling?”

“Hey yourself.” He put his datapad down. “It’s better. I have a pretty bad headache but it’ll go away.”

I came over and sat on the bed, then I took his hand in mine. His skin was warmer now. Blue squeezed my hand appreciatively. “Tell me,” he said. “Did I vomit and you cleaned it up, or is my breath really that bad?”

I couldn’t lie. “You just kind of reek, Blue. I’m going to have to clean those sheets. You sweated all over them. Why don’t you go wash up and I’ll take care of things here?”

He let go of my hand, then moved over to the side of the bed and pushed the sheets aside. He had put on sleep pants, too, since I had left him. He stood up and made his way to the 'fresher, holding the wall for balance. At the doorway, he turned to me. “I don’t remember what I said to you. If I said something mean, I’m really sorry. You’ve been nothing but kind to me.”

“You were fine. And even if you did say anything to me, I understand that you were sick.” I tilted my head. My dad had arranged for Blue to meet with a counselor to help him, and this seemed to be something the counselor should be aware of. “Did you contact Dr. Jorra?”

Blue dragged his hand through his hair. “I’m scheduled to comm him on Centaxday. I’ll talk with him then.”

“That’s good.” I came over to him, put my arms around him, scrunched my nose, and kissed his cheek. “I love you. I only want you to get better.” Then I moved away, and I began to pick up the supplies he had dropped and then put them away.

A small smile crossed his face. “That’s what love is, isn’t it? Not romance and flowers. It’s cleaning up and changing sheets.”

He was right. It’s easy to love someone when everything is going well. The trick is to love them when everything come crashing down.

 

Oh this entry is the design for love. It's the good and the bad combined -- not just the good. And when you find one that can take your bad just as well as the happy moments -- they're a keeper.

I liked how Thom was there to help Bree understand things also - nice touch.

 

Agree with Gemma about Thom being a good and caring friend. For Bree and Blue alike. Oh yes! Definitely true about the knowing when you've got a keeper. They use the hard/rough moments to just get closer instead of drawing away.

 

That's very true - a harrowing thing for them both to go through, but they are stronger for it. Nice chapter!

 

*melts* Bree is such a wonderful person. She worries instead of taking offence, kisses him when he stinks and just goes ahead and changes the bedsheets But I'm not sure she realises this isn't going to be easy for her either. Working with people who have been through hell is one thing. Having one in your life is another one entirely.

 

Thank you! That’s the truth – someone who loves you at your worst is the one for you. Thom has an advantage that Bree doesn’t since he has actually been on the ship with Blue for the last few years. Bree has only seen Blue’s best sides so far, when he visits her. Actually living with someone is very different.

Thank you for your reply! Yes, Blue and Bree chose the wiser path. He knew when to let her help him and she knew when to back off. It’s a test, in a way. If he had he had completely blocked her out, or if she had panicked or been unwilling to help, this would be a problem. Instead, like you pointed out, it served to bind them closer.

Thank you! It was especially harrowing for Bree since she’s never seen this before, but this is part of life for Blue. Bree is going to have to adjust her thinking and expectations of “love can magically fix anything.” But they passed the first hurdle.

Thank you for replying! That’s it exactly. Bree is starting to realize that Blue is chronically ill. He is never going to get better. If she wants to stay with him it will require sacrifices on her part. She loves him, but Han warned her that sometimes love isn’t enough.

 

[7]

Within a few days, Blue was much better. He explained what happened: the cravings got really bad and triggered what was essentially an anxiety attack, which in turn set off a neurological “echo” of withdrawal. He said that actual withdrawal is about ten times worse than that. By Centaxday he was his old self again. He talked with Dr. Jorra for a while; I always respect his privacy and go off by myself when he is with his counselor. When I came back to our quarters later, I noticed he had his datapad out and had written some things down. Blue assured me that he was ready to get back to work; in fact, he was getting anxious to catch up with what he had missed.

Since Blue and I both worked directly with the refugees, we had developed a routine. He had prioritized their needs and was making his way through the list, and I was recording the information from the various people. I organize the stories by place of origin, and it helps the DPA to track where the communities are migrating. It’s hard when you’re sleeping in a cargo bay not to think of yourself, or to be thought of, as cargo. I try to treat them as guests, calling them formally by their last names, and finding out what their preferences and needs are.

Yesterday, we had spent the morning visiting the refugees. Afternoons can be just as busy for us, as I need time to compile and edit my reports, and Blue has to document all the procedures and protocols he performs and run weekly inventories on drugs and supplies. That’s in addition to maintaining the health and safety of the crew. The other day Nerris pulled a muscle, and last week Pim managed to burn herself on a hot conduit, so he gets the drop-in visits to the infirmary on top of everything else.

But like I said, after we finished our work this morning, we went in the mess hall to grab something to eat. All of a sudden Blue glanced around, and then, sure that we were alone in the room, he told me to watch this. I turned to see him take a kitchen knife and flip it expertly, catching it by the hilt.

“Nice, Blue,” I said. “But how’s your throwing accuracy?”

He raised an eyebrow at the challenge. “Pick a target.” I pointed to a padded area on the wall opposite him. Blue nodded, took a moment to line up his shot, then threw the knife so that it hit inside the area. He smirked, pretty satisfied with himself.

I smiled. “That’s a bloody good shot, Baby.”

“I’m a bloody talented man,” he said.

All sass, that one. All sass. “Are you making fun of my accent?”

Blue pulled me close and put his hands on my waist. “Never. I wouldn’t dare.”

“You’re bloody right you wouldn’t dare,” I laughed. Then I bent down and touched my boot. Within a second I had my hold-out knife in my hand. I drew back and threw it against the wall, where it hit in the dead center of the padded area. He looked over at it, chagrined. I placed my hand on his cheek and gently turned his face to look at me again. “You are getting better, love,” I said, “but you need to be able to hit your target while distracted. Your target is not going to stay still for you.”

Blue sighed and rubbed his forehead, his other hand still on my waist. “Bree, you come from a family of warriors. I’m just a medic. I fix people, I don’t break them. This whole thing about learning defense – throwing knives, shooting blasters, martial arts training – this isn’t me.” He shook his head. “I’m never going to be good enough.”

I turned away and reached for my dinner tray. “But it’s still important for you to try. If you want to be with me, you have to know I’m a target. There are always going to be people who hate my family, for whatever reasons. And because of that, they are going to look for some way to control the people they hate, and that way is through the most vulnerable family member.” I took my meal, then placed the tray on one of the three tables in the hall. I went over to the wall and extracted the two knives, placing my customized carbonite-hilted, irsurrian-steel blade back in the sheath inside my boot and tossing the kitchen knife in the utensil retrieval slot. I sat at the table and drew my tray in front of me.

“And I’m the most vulnerable?” he asked, sitting down across from me at the table.

I slid his pair of eating sticks over to him and sighed. “I know this is so very different from what you’re used to. I just don’t want you to get hurt because of me.”

Blue sat quietly, pushing the food around his plate. Finally he spoke. “That’s why you won’t marry me, isn’t it.”

“Blue, how can I do that to you? To put you in the line of fire without even giving you the resources to defend yourself? You’re everything to me. How can I put you at risk like that?”

Blue pushed his tray to the side and placed his eating sticks on the table. “What if that’s a risk I’m willing to take? Do I even get a say in this?” he asked.

“I’m only doing what’s best for you,” I said. “I couldn’t forgive myself if anything happened to you.”

Blue sat quietly for a long while, and eventually I lost my appetite, too. Then he got up and put his tray away. He turned to me. “You need to stop trying to control me, Bree.”

My heart sank. “I lost my brother. I can’t lose you too, Blue. I can’t.”

“I’m almost thirty and I know what I want in life. I want to have a future with you. To have a family with you. If you don’t want the same thing that I want, then I don’t know what to say.” He shook his head and left the room.

Yes, Blue’s more than capable of taking care of himself – if things were ordinary and if my name wasn’t on a dozen death lists throughout the galaxy. I know he doesn’t want my family interfering with our lives. Blue rejected the idea of a bodyguard outright and only compromised by agreeing to take self-defense instructions instead. He wants to live normally, but I have never, for one moment of my life, known what “normal” is.

I remember one afternoon back when we were on Tanis, before we boarded the Alisander, I came home from dropping off some work and he wasn’t in the apartment. I didn’t know where he was. I panicked. I couldn’t breathe. Then I saw the note, written on flimsy, which had fallen underneath the table. (I swear he is the only person who writes notes on flimsy instead of just leaving a message on my comlink.) He had gone out to play hoop ball at the local athletic center. I was so angry with him for going out without telling me first. A thousand horrible scenarios all blurred through my mind- he could have been kidnapped, he could have been shot – and instead he was throwing hoop balls.

He has no sense at all of how he endangers himself. If my family's enemies knew how much he meant to me, they would kill him. I’m sorry that he doesn’t like this, but I’m not going to put a target on his back. And one guaranteed way to put that target on him is to marry him.

 

Glad to find out Blue is seeing the counselor. I was afraid he would balk at that.

~~!

Let me take this intriguing hurdle from Bree's side first.

She has lost someone dear to her, Anakin. Not theoretical, maybe, perhaps. It happened. It's a gut-churning abyss in her life every living day. So the thought of losing Blue is more than a vague maybe. It's looming large and very probable, and she will do whatever is in her power to keep that from happening and to keep him literally safe and alive.


~~!

Now his side. He feels he can take care of himself and literally has had to be self-reliant and a survivor, figuratively and otherwise. He does not see the correlation between becoming bonded to Bree and a Solo/Skywalker offshoot and his own safety.
Plus, his scruples as a medic make him cringe at the idea/necessity of martial arts, target training etc.

But the critical passage/fact is this, what Bree said about normal and making Blue a moving target.

Eagerly awaiting how they navigate this seeming impasse.

 

Great chapter, and very emotional discussion between the two of them. I see both sides of the argument - Bree understanding that dangers and accepting the risks of her life and wanting to protect him, and Blue chaffing under her control.

 

Maybe she could commit herself to him without marriage --- although he sounded pretty set on marrying her. I can see their worries from both sides of the fence.

 

Yes, that was one of Han’s “rules for dating my daughter” at the end of True Blue.

Exactly. She isn’t over her brother Anakin’s death by a long shot. The fear of losing another person she loves dearly is pushing her to overprotect him.

And exactly again! He is six years older and in a different place – he wants to settle down. He also has had to be very independent and resourceful to survive this long and he doesn’t see why he needs to change now. And you’re right – he is very uncomfortable with doing something that goes against his healer’s ethics.
And you are again correct when you say it comes down to what is “normal.” What is normal for everyone else is not normal for a SkySolo.
Thank you so much for this very insightful and comprehensive reply.

Thank you for your thoughtful reply. Yes, this is a very emotionally charged issue between them. Blue can see her refusal as a personal rejection, and Bree could interpret his persistence as patronizing. Either way, this is going to be a challenge.

They are committed to each other, but Blue wants to take it further and make it official. She wants to keep it intensely private. They both have good arguments. Thanks so much for taking the time to reply. I appreciate it.

 

[8]

Yesterday was stressful. I woke up with a stomach ache, and I swear I thought I was going to get sick right there. Luckily, once I got up the nausea wore off, but still, what a way to start the day. Blue thinks it’s probably just something I ate, so I guess I shouldn’t eat leftover ribenes right before I go to bed. (Gross, I know. Even Blue looked at me like I was out of my mind. But boy they hit the spot.)

Then, after starting off so spectacularly, I spent about an hour organizing and editing my interviews while Blue reviewed his notes. Then Blue and I headed out to visit the refugees. Over the last couple of visits we have developed this coordination. Before we go in, he gives me some sanitizer gel and we coat our hands. Then we go in together. He starts on one side and I go to the other. He scans their trackers and does a preliminary health screening while I begin the process of organizing them by planet of origin. Most of the refugees are human, but there is the usual scattering of other people here, too. (Some of them even recognize me, but most are so focused on their own survival that they don’t have the energy to expend on celebrity daughters.)

I worked with Blue a little bit, then I picked up the interviews that I had started earlier. I have tons of raw information that I need to get into some reasonable shape so that I can send the first set of completed files to the DPA. I wish Alta was with me – she always had everything so organized. Lately I can’t seem to keep focused enough to even find my files.

Later that afternoon I had scheduled a talk with my mother. She is terribly hard to get ahold of these days, as she is often out with Saba Sebatyne or another Jedi on missions. She works with Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara a lot, too. But we do try very hard to talk with each other as often as possible. After all, she may be the former Chief of State, a revered leader of the rebellion, the last Princess of Alderaan and a current member of the royal house of New Alderaan, but she’s still my mom.

Mom (aka the Jedi Rebel Princess Chief of State) and I were talking and the conversation inevitably turned to Jaina’s upcoming wedding. There will be an official engagement ceremony on Bastion, and of course I am expected to be there. I reminded her that I have commitments, too.

“She’s your sister, Bree. She specifically requested you to be her witness for the ceremony,” Mom said.

“How can I be at Bastion when I am supposed to be at work here? I can’t just leave these people. I have a responsibility to them.”

Mom looked pointedly at me. “You have a responsibility to your family, too. I know that you want to help them, but your sister will be the empress of the Imperial Remnant. This comes first. How would it look if a Solo family member refused the empress? You have a name to uphold.” I could hear it coming. It’s your duty. Mom paused for effect. “It’s your duty, Breha.”

I forced a smile and held my chin up. “I understand.”

Mom shuffled something on her desk as she talked. “Jacen will be wrapping up a negotiations mission with Ben in a few days. He’ll be there.” She paused, and her voice softened. “Will you be bringing Blue with you? This might be a good opportunity to make your relationship with him public.”

I looked away so that she wouldn’t see my expression, but you never really hide anything from my Jedi Rebel Princess mother. “No, that’s not a good idea,” I said. I almost used the excuse that he’d been sick but then Mom would want to know the details and I really didn’t want to go into it.

She looked at me with concern. “You’ve been together three years, sweetheart. Don’t you think it’s time to make this official?”

“No, mother. This is not the right time.”

She sighed. “All right. It’s your decision. But you still need to be with your sister at her engagement ceremony. She’s sent me three different ideas for your gown and I’m sending them to you. Pick the one you like and we’ll have it made for you. Do you want me to send it to you at the end of this transmission or on the next one?”

“Just send it today.” I rubbed my forehead. I’m too tired to argue.

Mom smiled. “Okay then. Dad and I will meet with you and Jacen on Ossus, and the gown will be waiting for your approval.”

So somehow she managed to get me to confirm that I’ll be representing the House Solo at Bastion, even though it completely disrupts my life. How can I do my work with the refugees when I’m being drawn away?

 

and Bree's probably going: Now how did I get talked into that? She probably feels all of 12, certainly less than grown! I know she wants to be there for Jaina and all those obligations, but she can't just leave her work with the refugees either.


Interesting how she sidesteps the issue about going official about Blue, although it's understandable given the last update.

 

Awwww. I guess if anyone knows duty, it's Leia. Wonderful scene between her and Bree!

 

Maybe seeing a wedding will change Bree's feelings and want to marry Blue.

 

Leia gets what she wants, and right now she wants her daughter to follow directions. And yes, Bree is trying to figure out how the heck she wound up agreeing to what she didn’t want to do.

Bree isn’t going to get into it with Mom. Bree will do whatever she can to keep Blue a secret for fear of endangering him. Thank you so much for your thoughtful response.

Thank you for your comments! Leia does know what duty means and she expects her children to know it, too. Although Bree chafes under her mother’s directions, she still loves her. It’s hard for Leia to realize her baby has grown up!

Bree seems pretty determined to keep Blue out of the spotlight, but maybe seeing how happy Jaina is might make an impression. Thank you for your reply!

 

[9]

Last night Blue told me that he was going to go watch some sports thing on the holonet with Thom. I didn’t think anything of it, so I said fine. About an hour or so later I decided to drop in and see if the boys wanted me to get them anything from the mess hall – I really wanted a bowl of muja fruit for some reason. (I don’t even like muja fruit. Go figure.)

They were sitting in the lounge, their attention fixed to the game. I stopped in my tracks. Thom had one empty ale bottle on the table and another bottle half-drunk in his hand, and Blue was sitting there with his hand on another bottle of ale.

“What’s going on here?” I asked.

Thom didn’t look up. “We’re up by three. Five minutes left in the game.”

Something important must have happened because both guys suddenly drew a breath and then cheered. I moved over to Blue and pointed to the bottle in his hand. “No. I mean what’s up with this? Why do you have alcohol in your hand?”

He finally turned to look at me. “It’s no big deal, Bree. It’s not even opened.”

Unbelievable. “You just had a really bad day with cravings. And now you’re holding a bottle of ale in your hand?”

“I said it was nothing. Don’t get so upset.” Blue does this fist-clenching thing when he’s annoyed, and he was doing it then and frowning at me. He put the bottle on the table next to him. “Come on. There’s three minutes left to the game.”

“No, it’s not nothing,” I insisted. “Tell me what’s going on here.”

Thom looked over at us, raised an eyebow, then excused himself. I have never seen someone leave a room so fast.
I put my hands on my hips. “You’re going to get sick again like you did the other night, when Thom had the whiskey out at the sabbac game. And why was he drinking in front of you just now?”

The game was over now but Blue didn’t seem to notice. “Why shouldn’t he? Just because I have a problem doesn’t mean everyone else has to stop what they’re doing.”

“It’s not right.”

He looked at me, irritated. “You did it on Tanis. Remember that party with your friends? You got drunk and I had to get you back home.”

I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t understand then. Now I know, and I won’t do it again. And even if it’s okay for Thom to drink in front of you – which it isn’t – that doesn’t explain why you have a bottle in your own hand.”

“Occasionally I like to pretend that I’m a normal person and I can do things that normal people can, like hold an ale bottle in my hand while I’m watching a game.” Blue stood up, clenching and unclenching his fist. “Look, Bree, do you think I’m drinking? Is that it?”

“I didn’t say that. But it doesn’t make any sense to me.”

“Oh, by the immortals. Why don’t you trust me?” He ran his hands down his face. “Do you really think that, after eight years of being clean, I would throw it away over a gravball game?”

“I know that you really have a hard time, and I know you’re vulnerable right now. Then I see you with a bottle in your hand.”

“I was just holding it! Let Thom drink if he wants to. I can hold a kriffing bottle if I want to.”

I shook my head in disapproval.

“Look, Bree,” he said sharply. “The most important thing in my life after you is my sobriety. Trust me, I am not going to throw that away.” I could tell he was getting really angry.

“You know you can’t afford to take chances.” I picked up the empty bottles and put them in the disposal.

“Stop treating me like a child.”

I glared at him. “Stop acting like one.”

His eyebrows shot up. “I’m acting like a child?” He was getting really angry now. “I happen to know what I’m doing and I don’t need you to tell me what to do. You aren’t my mother, Bree, and you sure as shavit aren’t my wife.”

That was uncalled for. Now I was yelling too. “If you want to act like this then you can find another place to sleep tonight.”

“Oh no, you don’t. That’s my bed, remember? In fact, that’s my quarters. Maybe you should get another place to sleep.” He glared at me again, then he made as if he was going to say something else, and thought better of it and sat back down. I turned around and stormed out of the room. He can sleep on this kriffing couch right here. There is no way I’m giving up the bed.

I really don’t need this headache. He’s a grown man and he should act like it.

I have other things that are concerning me. I haven’t been feeling so good lately. I'm still waking up queasy. My mother wants me to spend more time with Jaina to help her prepare for the wedding. With all this going on, I missed the initial deadline for my transmission, so now I have to send a double report to the DPA. I need Blue to be a support for me, not another problem.

 

As someone who devoured JadeLotus' Insatiable like the sponge I am, and as someone who worked with addicts before, this is sending all sorts of red alert signals off, just like it is with Bree. She knows. Addicts are the best/worst rationalizers and biggest grown up babies on the planet. Blue may think he can tempt fate or whatever it is or that he wouldn't throw all he's worked for away, but... and I also agree. Thom can drink all he wants to but if he's a true friend of Blue's he could cut it out while Blue is around and they could drink non-alcoholic fizzy stuff.
I am very glad Bree put her foot down. She is a support and a bulwark but she does not need to get sucked down into that mad kinda crazy.

 

I totally agree with Nyota's comment and something else has me wondering about thing.

This sends up red flags for me as pregnancy or the flu; I'm thinking pregnant.

 

Yeah, I'm thinking she's preggo as well.

Great chapter! These two still have a lot of issues to work out, and it's great to watch them do it.

 

That’s an excellent observation. Blue thinks he’s got this under control because it hasn’t exploded yet. Bree has some distance from the situation and sees the danger here.

Bree gets on his case because she loves him. If she didn’t then she wouldn’t care what irrational things he’s doing to himself. Thank you for your reply and all the interesting points you bring up!

I ain’t saying nothin’. Thanks for the reply!

Thank you for replying! Yes, there is still much they have to work out before they are in the same place. But they are working on it. As for the pregnancy possibility? Well that would complicate things, wouldn’t it?

 

[10]

Halfway through the night after our fight, I heard the door unlock and open. Blue’s whisper commanded the lights to ten percent. I rolled over and sat up in bed.

“Hi,” he said. He was rubbing his neck. “Bree, I can’t sleep on that sofa. It’s too uncomfortable. Are you still angry at me?”

I straightened the covers around me and thought a moment. “I’m not angry anymore. But I’m still worried about you.”

He pulled his shirt over his head dropped it into the laundry. Then he changed into a pair of sleep pants and came over to the bed, and I shifted over to accommodate him. “I can come back into the bed, right?” he asked.

I patted his side. “It’s not the bed. It’s not your bed. It’s our bed, Blue. Yes, you can come back into our bed. But stay on your own side. I’m still not happy with you.”

He pulled the band from his hair and placed it on the table beside the bed. Then he climbed in and sat next to me, his blue hair falling like water across his back. “Can I at least kiss you goodnight?”

I rolled my eyes. I knew what he was doing. And it worked every time. I sighed. “We are still going to talk about this in the morning,” I said.

He moved closer, putting his hand on my cheek to caress my face. “I know.” He was only a breath away now. “I love you, my Bree. I’ve loved you from the first week I met you.”

I reached up and ran my hand through his long hair. “I love you too, Blue. You can be exhausting, but Force help me, I love you.”

He closed the distance between us and my hand slid around to the back of his neck as his lips met mine. As usual, my heart fluttered and I melted, the same as the first time we kissed. Then, true to his word, he stayed on his side of the bed and settled in to sleep. I woke up in the morning with his chest pressed against my back, his left arm draped over my arm. I could feel his warm breath on the back of my neck. Even when we’re asleep we wind up together.

As of today, Blue and I have come to a tentative truce about what happened the other night. I’m still not happy about seeing Blue holding alcohol, but to be fair he wasn’t actually drinking it. But why even take that chance? He feels he can handle it because he’s done this in the past and it always worked out. But these things aren’t dependent; just because it worked before doesn’t mean it’s going to work today.

I asked him to do this for me: if he is with Thom (or anyone for that matter), and that person is drinking alcohol, Blue needs to ask them to switch to something nonalcoholic while he’s there or Blue has to excuse himself and leave. I think Blue feels guilty that his addiction issues cause others to have to adapt to him. Blue feels like a burden, but I really can’t see how this request would be burdensome to anyone. We all love him, in one way or another, and it’s a small effort to make to help him.