Awards The 2017 Golden Yoda Awards Ceremony / Day Seven: Author Categories and Best All-Around

Congrats @gaarastar58 @Vongchild @Briannakin @Findswoman @divapilot

 

Kudoseseses to Findswoman, divapilot, gaarastar58, Vongchild and Briannakin for delving into the psychological reaches of characters new, established and OC, in particular villains. Brave, one must be.

Happy to spread the word about Golden Yoda on my Dreamwidth account ... thingy. It doesn't feel right to call it a journal; could calling it a dream be too cosmic? Anyway: http://pronker.dreamwidth.org/24865.html

 

Thank you again, guys! I'm kinda stunned.

Congratulations to Vongchild, gaarastar58, Findswoman, and Briannakin! Exceptionally good stories were nominated!

Amazing party!

 

Congratulations Vongchild Findswoman Briannakin and divapilot, and to all the other nominees as well. Loved reading all your excerpts.

For those who voted for Cliegg I guess that means I am obligated to finish Tales from the Lars Homestead. Better get writing I guess...

 

Ketchup time...

Don't forget that Maya also looks dead fab in that dress, too. She's beauty, she's grace, she'll blast y'all in the face. Exactly how I like action girls!

Und danke!

*looks at the current mood and music*

It's caving in, WOOOOOOOOOOOOOW, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!

*grabs own head from both sides*

Sorry, I had to. It was stronger than me.

Yes, absolutely, finish it. But take all the time you need.

My mom says: "Don't drag the quill around your heart under duress." and I think she's right, more often than not.

I can...totally see this story happening. And I would read it. AND I would contribute a horrible Squib name for it.

I don't blame you, I have to look up, copy and paste last names of most characters in her story, too. And we're like, inseparable and stuff. But wait until I start making up Squib names. I have one called Svrtotrto running a cafe in Coronet City.

Is Kess implying that there are too many of them? I...think there are just about 100. Maybe even less. Pfft.

And yup, best party EVARRR.

Famous last words there.

And the Luke and Doria convo still NEEDS to happen. So much teenage angst in just two people - they'd make best friends...until their first argument.

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Now for today...

WOW, this skit was awesome, kudos to divapilot - you had me in stitches at the part where Jabba had man's bikinis (please, tell me that they're that kind with a huge pair of straps that covers da manboobs! ), the part about volunteers owing money to Jabba and - best of them all - his idea that the winners won in order to be executed. You really, really know how to put "cute" in "execute". Enjoyed this so, so, so very much.

Awesome jingle from Cowgirl Jedi 1701 - would be handy ordering this from the battlefield.

Awesome gif from Mr Chyntuckopoulos, too!

And, stealing from Chyntuck because I'm a freeloader:

Congrats gaarastar58, Vongchild, Briannakin, Findswoman and divapilot!

What did y'all think, that I'd tag people myself after somebody's done it so neatly before me?

Those character categories had some rough, rough competition and I am immensely glad to see a new winner, too. In fact, one of the things I hoped most for this awards was that Madonna Under the Suns would win something, anything. And it did, so all is fine in the universe.

And now... Findswoman, get to work, WE WANT A KATTS AND DARTH ONASSIS CARTH ONASI SKIT. PLEASEEEEE....

 

Just checked the betting sheet and turns out I got 14 out of 21 right so far. That's not my votes, btw, that's what I thought what would win in which category. They should hire me for this, darn it!

(double posts suck, I know, but I haaaaad to...)

 

Congratulations, winners!!

And a thank you for the nomination. I was so honored!

 

Congratualtions to all the winners and nominated today.

 

Congratulations to yesterday and today's winners! I'm honored to have been nominated with such talented folks.

And since we are talking about partying...

---

T'lor looks around the room. After several days now of celebration, some of the attendees are looking a bit worse for wear. She shifts in her seat. Her azure tunic and leggings are beaded with tiny crystals. The movement causes them to sparkle, even in the dim house lighting.

T'LOR: This is starting to look a bit reminiscent of the day after the dance during the exchange.

Gi'den glances around. He notices that the Council seems to have their faculties still more or less intact.

GI'DEN: This time the Council is still standing.

T'LOR: I didn't see them at any of the parties last night.

Gi'den raises an eyebrow and looks knowingly at T'lor. She meets his gaze, a glint in her eyes.

GI'DEN: Do I want to know what the Disorderly Duo was up to?

T'LOR: Rani's back on Sactuary and Kit is in the field, so there was no Disorderly Duo.

She glances back over at the table where the Council is sitting. Mace Windu meets her eyes and nods his head in greeting. She gives a little nod back.

T'LOR: However, Laren had a good time.

 

Thanks to divapilot for her skit (great choice of characters! ) and to Cowgirl Jedi 1701 for her commercial, and to Raissa and Mr Chyn for using their artistic skills.

Congratulations to:

gaarastar58 for a bittersweet and complex depiction of Cliegg's early life.

Vongchild for a version of Beru that builds on what the movies show, but makes her so much more flawed, caring, and three-dimensional. (Okay, it's not tea but I couldn't resist!)

Briannakin again for this beautiful but tragic look at a Winter that might be or could have been.

Findswoman again for Katts and her romantic antics! And for writing Telfien, who is both likable and full of surprises!

divapilot for taking a bland-seeming assistant backup villain and making him downright terrifying.

 

According to the doorman, 1,200 people got tickets and twice that many showed up! It's rumored that the entire Dewleaf Village commandeered a freighter making a delivery just so they could make the party. What can we say, Ewok Poet? Your planet really, really loves you!! Wedge and Wes said it made the celebration after the Death Star look like a Grandes Dames tea party.

Actually, at Celebration, I did see a young man in a man-slave bikini! It was like Leia's, except no top. Instead of a skirt, he had these sort of harem pants slit up the side, with the gold front & back plate and a gold arm bracelet. Equal time!

 

Congratulations to gaarastar58, Vongchild, Bri, Findswoman, and divapilot!

 

AHHHH HOLY SMOKES.

I'm late to the party but THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH, you have made ALL OF MY ADOLESCENT DREAMS COME TRUE. (seriously) Thank you from the bottom of my heart I love you all!!!!

Oh!!! And congratulations to gaarastar58! It's an honor to share this award with you and your spectacular work!

 

Apologies for being several days late! I was planning to log in yesterday, but I was sidetracked by work in the garden.

Congratulations to all the nominees and winners! There are too many of you to list in this post, but all your stories were fantastic.

The droid spa animation is borrowed from an episode of The Clone Wars, Chyntuck has the details.

(EDIT: I am sorry, I somehow confused the quoted posts. I was intending to quote both Sith-I-5 and Ewok Poet but something was lost in the copy-paste.)

I am happy that I could contribute these little animations to the ceremony and that you like them.

Thank you! I spent the first part of my afternoon reading the ceremony, now I will spend the second half watching videos on YouTube. It's Sunday anyway!

I love how all the characters are coming to the ceremony and meeting each other and becoming friends. I am curious to see what will happen in the final party. I read something about Eliskandro the Hutt? The name rings a bell...

 

Oops, sorry, I missed Sith-I-5 's post. The oil bath and other spa stuff are from a TCW episode called Evil Plans.

 

The 2017 Fan Fiction Awards are brought to you today by Uncle Sheev's Hutt Smut Emporium​

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The lights in the auditorium take a faint tinge of red and the holoscreen turns sickly pink while sappy music plays in the background. A libidinous Hutt appears on screen.​

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“If you enjoy sheer sheeviness, we’ve got the place for you!” he says with a leery smile. “A unique concept to be your sheeviest self, without any interference from the sheevless!”​

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The sound of blaster bolts echoes from backstage as the commercial plays on, and Jyn Erso arrives on stage. She sends a few wild shots towards the attackers.​

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“Our sheeving staff understand the full depth of your sheeviest aspirations!” the Hutt continues. “Whether you’re the sophisticated, the extravagant or the dodgy sheever, we have what you need!”​

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“Are you all going to make yourselves useful?” Jyn shrieks. “We haven’t got all day, there’s an audience waiting for us.”​

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“All our services follow the principles of sheevism!” the Hutt adds. “There’s nowhere else you can sheeve so sheevily!” He licks his lips lasciviously as Chirrut Îmwe rushes across the stage and disappears towards the battle, muttering all the while ‘I am one with the Force and the Force is with me’.​

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“So forget about being un-sheevy! Come to Uncle Sheev’s Hutt Smut Emporium, and be the sheeviest sheevster who ever sheeved a sheeve!”​

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Jyn shoots a few more times in the general direction of the fighting and turns around to look at the commercial’s final sequence:​

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Before the screen can go black, it gets hit by a staccato of bolts and explodes. Jyn brushes soot off her clothes as Baze Malbus strides on stage, his heavy repeater blaster on his shoulder. She tilts her head towards the smouldering bits of plasteel and plexiplast.​

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“Well... That was embarrassing.”​

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“You’re welcome.”​

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K-2SO walks in behind Jyn. “She was talking about the commercial, not your shooting. Times must be hard if they needed the sponsorship of Hutt, ahem, sheeving for this ceremony.”​

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He unpins a grenade and tosses it over his shoulder towards the battle. There is a huge explosion, followed by more blasts and howls of pain, and Chirrut returns on stage together with Cassian Andor, Melshi and Pao. “They still can’t shoot straight,” he says. “Very disappointing. Shall we get started?”​

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“Yeah, let’s do this,” Cassian says. “Bodhi is waiting in the ship, in case we need to make a quick getaway. Who has the envelopes for the Relationship and Reviewer Categories?”​

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Chirrut extracts them from his robes. “They’re right here! Let me start.”​

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K-2SO pats him on the shoulder. “You’re blind.”​

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The former Guardian of the Whills smiles brightly. “I am, but I am also one with the Force and –”​

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“Yes, yes, we know,” Baze interrupts. “Let me do this.”​

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He opens the first envelope and starts reading: “The first category is Best Established Relationship and the nominees are:”​

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Bail Organa & Breha Antilles in So Much More Than Fairytales: The Courtship of Prince Bail by Briannakin​

“That’s a good option,” Cassian says. “I like the senator.”

Teebo & Latara in The Brightest of the Stars (When Teebo Met Latara) by Ewok Poet​

They look at each other in puzzlement. “They probably came after our time,” Chirrut says. “Carry on.”

R2-D2 & C-3PO in The Wedding Trip by Hopefulwriter​

“Oh, good grief, no,” Melshi grumbles. “They drive all of Yavin Base crazy.”

Luke Skywalker & Mara Jade in Things Fall Apart by Irish_Jedi_Jade​

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“Never heard of them,” Cassian says. “Probably another blast from the past... erm, future.”

Kyle Katarn & Jan Ors in Dark Forces: Rogue Mission by whiskers​

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Jyn scoffs. “How can a relationship from an alternate reality be established?”

Baze silences her with a stern look. “And the winner is: Bail Organa & Breha Antilles in So Much More Than Fairytales: The Courtship of Prince Bail by Briannakin!”

Cassian puts his hand on his heart as the orchestra plays the anthem of the Rebellion and Briannakin, Bail and Breha come to receive their Golden Yoda statuette. The sound of boots on hardwood can be heard backstage. “Someone else continue this,” Baze says. He checks his weapon and exits stage left.

Jyn opens the next envelope, but keeps a hand on her blaster, just in case. “The next category is Best Original Relationship. The nominees are:”

Kes Dameron & Poe Dameron in Black Rapier by Aiel​

“Kes is a good guy,” Melshi comments over the sound of shooting. “Friend of mine from the Pathfinders. I didn’t know he had a brother though– or maybe a kid?”

Jyn struggles a little with the next two names.

Zuckuss Ng’xvi-Ta’al-Lhúd & Telfien Viurraanvi in The Book of Gand by Findswoman​

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“Blah! That’s unpronounceable. I guess they’re Gands.”

K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku & Obi-Wan Kenobi in Interludes by K'tai qel Letta-Tanku​

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The shooting becomes louder. “General Kenobi is on the Empire's most wanted list,” K-2SO says as he pulls the pin out of another grenade. “If you’ll excuse me now, I’ll be right back.” He leaves in the same direction as Baze.

Kess Antilles & Poe Dameron in Hobbie's Law by Mistress_Renata​

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“So, wait. There was Kes and Poe, and now there’s Kess and Poe. This is very confusing, and we still don’t know who Poe is.”

A massive explosion rocks the auditorium. Jyn peeks over her shoulder just in time to duck a piece of Death Trooper armour flying towards her. “Never mind. The last nominee is:

Mara Jade Blayne & Ezra Bridger in Star Crossed by Raissa Baiard​

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Cassian chuckles. “You should hear the stories General Syndulla has to say about the Bridger kid.”​

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“And the winner is: Mara Jade Blayne & Ezra Bridger in Star Crossed by Raissa Baiard!”

The orchestra erupts into a vibrant piece of Merkeshian music and belly dancers in colourful costumes escort K-2SO and Baze back on stage while Mara, Ezra and Raissa Baiard come to collect their Golden Yoda statuette. The Ghost crew cheers and laughs as Ezra bumbles his way through his acceptance speech. A chirp is heard from Cassian’s comlink.

“Hurry!” Bodhi’s voice whispers. “They’re sending the whole Imperial Fleet!”

“Not much we can do about that,” Melshi comments grimly. “Let’s hope Raddus will show up. Keep going, maybe we can at least finish this before the Empire gets here.” He takes the next envelope from Chirrut. “The next category is Best Reviewer in Before, and the nominees are:”

Findswoman​

K-2SO peeks over his shoulder. “It says here that she’s perceptive and thoughtful, she reads a wide variety of stories and sees their many layers as well as links to possible sources of inspiration. This sounds pretty good to me.”

gaarastar58​

Melshi reads on: “A reviewer with an extensive knowledge of this era, who leaves helpful comments to authors and is a faithful reader when he’s around.”

“Sounds like he should be around more often,” Jyn mutters.

Onderon1​

Pao barks the comment. “He just said, ‘a prolific and perceptive reviewer who gives this lesser-known era a chance,’”, K-2SO translates. “Definitely a good option too.”

Raissa Baiard​

“A knowledgable reviewer in this lesser-known era, she is supportive, perceptive, and thorough in her reviews,” Chirrut says.

Melshi gives him a baffled look. “How did you know?”

“Because I am one with the Force and the Force –”

Melshi shrugs and moves on to the next card.

Sith-I-5​

“He has a true talent for unearthing little gems from the depths of the forums and zooming in on the element(s) that make a story special.”

“I like that,” Baze grunts. “No nonsense.”

WarmNyota_SweetAyesha​

“Oooh, I know her!” Bodhi says through the comlink. “She reviews a lot of different stories and goes out of her way to greet new writers, always in a positive way. She takes an interest in the characters’ struggles and triumphs. I’m sure she cares a great deal about us too!”

Melshi takes a deep breath. “And the winner is: Findswoman!”

The flutes of the orchestra play a slow piece of Gand music as Findswoman comes to collect her Golden Yoda. The sound of orbital bombardment echoes in the distance. Cassian glances at his datapad. “Make this faster,” he says urgently. “Next they’ll be sending the Death Star.”

His comlink chirps again. “Rogue One, let me help you,” Admiral Raddus’s gruff voice says. “The next category is Best Reviewer in Saga and the nominees are – Captain, focus your all firepower on that Star Destroyer!”

AzureAngel2​

“I’m going to have to leave the shuttle, they’re coming my way,” Bodhi says over the comlink. “But I can tell you that Azure is an assiduous reviewer who seeks out a variety of different genres, time periods, and characters. Her encouraging comments often include references and highlight the little bit of the story that caught her attention.” The sound of shooting gets closer. “See you in a minute!”

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divapilot​

“I was expecting to see that name today,” Baze grumbles. “When her reviews are short, she highlights in just a few words the particular element that makes a new post special. When they're long, it's a full-blown close reading of the text.”

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Ewok Poet​

Pao barks again. “He said, ‘a very perceptive reviewer who excels at noticing details and connections both within and between stories, and who often guesses important plot points. She reviews all kinds of things and has an extraordinary ability to empathise with characters and live in the story,’” Melshi translates. There’s an explosion in the distance. “There goes our ride home,” he adds despondently.

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Findswoman​

“Again?” Jyn asks.

“Yes, again,” Chirrut says brightly. “She’s thoughtful, insightful, prompt. She sees many layers and connections in a story, reviews assiduously and always helps a writer to feel their hard work is appreciated by picking out the little details. I like her.”

Bodhi runs on stage as Admiral Raddus reads out the last name:

Raissa Baiard​

“A good one too,” Bodhi pants. “At once supportive, perceptive, and thorough, her reviews are always in-depth and well crafted. She leaves detailed, helpful comments, sometimes in the tone of the actual story, that will make you laugh if necessary...and will certainly make you think. Oh, and we don’t have a shuttle anymore.”

“We will come for you, Rogue One,” Raddus says. “Meanwhile, let me announce that the winner is: Findswoman! You should also know that the Death Star is coming out of hyperspace now.”

“Didn’t we do this already?” Jyn asks dryly as the flutes start playing again. She hands over a second Golden Yoda to Findswoman and ushers her quickly back to her seat. “Hurry up, hurry up! The next category is Best Reviewer in Beyond, and the nominees are:”

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Irish_Jedi_Jade​

“Great woman,” Bodhi comments, more quietly now that he’s caught his breath. “She’s a Beyond reviewer who is at once prolific, enthusiastic, and knowledgeable. Her reviews tend to be upbeat and show an interest in the plotline and characters of the story.”

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Jedi_Lover​

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“I like this,” K-2SO says as he reads over Jyn’s shoulder. “DRL has been hammering her lately – sounds a bit like us, really – but she still manages to come and review her favourite fics in Beyond. Her short reviews always convey a contagious sense of glee, dismay or anticipation that makes reading the thread even more worthwhile!”

mavjade​

“That could be me,” Jyn comments. “It says here that she doesn’t review often, but when you see her name in a Beyond story thread you can be sure the story is good!”

mulberry​

“Enthusiastic about Kyp Durron stories and a faithful commenter on a handful of them,” Chirrut says thoughtfully. “Now I have never met this Kyp Durron character, but I am certain that he’s one with the Force and –”

“Rogue One, the Death Star has launched a shuttle,” Raddus intervenes. “It is coming in your direction – apparently they do not intend to destroy the awards auditorium just yet.”

“Let’s finish this,” Cassian urges Jyn. “Any other nominees?”

“Yup. Two more to go.”

Onderon1​

“A knowledgeable and prolific reviewer with far-reaching and in-depth knowledge of the Beyond era.”

Raissa Baiard​

“She has a talent for finding the interesting stories to comment on across genres and character groups. Her reviews tend to be reflective and really get into the characterization and core issues of the story.”

She takes a deep breath. “There. Do you think Krennic is coming? I wouldn’t mind killing him a second time.”

“I already took care of that,” K-2SO says casually. “But you forgot to announce the winner.”

“Oh, right. The winner is: Raissa Baiard!”

Jyn doesn’t even wait for Raissa Baiard to come on stage and tosses the Golden Yoda statuette at her instead. “Let’s find a ship,” she says over the classical Andalusi Merkeshian piece of music. “We’re not letting them get us this time.”

“Wait, wait!” Cassian shouts behind her. “We still have a category to announce. It’s called –”

The music suddenly morphs into the Imperial March and Grand Moff Tarkin makes his entrance. His lips are twitching into an evil smile. “So we meet again,” he says. “Tell me something. I let you infiltrate the Imperial base on Scarif, but did you really think that I’d also let you dominate the Fanfic Awards?”

Jyn gives him a contemptuous look. “You know what the awards are. They’re Golden Yodas – the symbol of the light. And we’re already dominating them. We –”

“Now, now, young Miss Erso. I have decided that at least one award this year will be a Golden Palpatine, as a sign of things to come.”

Baze shoulders his repeater blaster, Pao screeches and Cassian blurts ‘no way!’

“The Death Star is ready to fire,” Tarkin continues casually. “Single reactor ignition of course – for now. Do you really want that to happen?”

The Rogue One crew look at each other in dismay. “You know what?” Melshi says. “Let him have the last award. It’s called MOST HEADSPLODE MOMENT, and he’s in the ’splode business anyway.”

K-2SO is fingering a grenade. “It seems to me that we are doing fine on the ’splode front, thank you very much.”

Tarkin’s face hardens. “I could also suggest double reactor ignition, if that is what you prefer – and blow this entire facility and planet to smithereens.”

Chirrut wraps his hands around his cane. “Let him have it. We sent the Death Star plans to the Profundity. Now we have a new hope.”

They all look at each other again and nod. Cassian hands the last set of cards to Tarkin reluctantly.

“Very well,” Tarkin says. “Let us see what we have here. The award is called Most Headsplode Moment – although we might revise that title, as it is entirely unsheevy and unsuitable to Imperial standards, and the nominees are:”

Bail reading the succession laws to Breha in So Much More Than Fairytales: The Courtship of Prince Bail by Briannakin​

“Traitors? Unacceptable!”

Chewbacca playing secretary for Han using Holoogle Translate in "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Solo" by divapilot​

“Hmm. A story that foreshadows the future of the Empire. This could work.”

Luke meeting the man who plays him on TV (and who is now engaged to an ex of his) in A Year in the Life: The Deepest Note is the Cobalt Sky by JadeLotus​

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He mutters ‘traitors’ again, shrugs and moves on.

The idea of Jawas with the hots for each other! Their mating call is "hey!" followed by the seductive yap of a sexy (!?) Jawa male in The Grey Book: Getting It On by Pandora​

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His face contorts in an expression of utter disgust. “Filthy creatures.”

Mara Jade turning up in a bikini on Skellig Island in Island Surprise by Sith-I-5​

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“And another traitor. Well, I may have to adjust the result.” He opens the envelope with the name of the winner. “And the winner is: Chewbacca playing secretary for Han using Holoogle Translate in "Dear Mr. and Mrs. Solo" by divapilot! Excellent, excellent! The Empire will respect the will of the people – this time.”

The orchestra plays Kylo Ren’s theme as divapilot and Chewbacca come to collect their Golden Palpatine statue. Chewbacca gives a long, rambling speech – without supertitles, as the holoscreen has been destroyed – while divapilot nudges Tarkin in the ribs. “He’s still an alien, you know. And a Rebel. And he’ll help kill you.”

Tarkin glares at her. “That will be taken care of.” He activates his comlink. “Death Star? Target the Awards Auditorium. Full power.” And he storms off-stage.

K-2SO gives the audience an apologetic look. “That was it for today, ladies and gentlebeings. The Author Awards and Best All-Around will be announced tomorrow by Grand Admiral Thrawn, Hera Syndulla and Kanan Jarrus – if this planet is still here of course –”

“That’s enough, Kay,” Cassian interrupts.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Bodhi says. “We need to steal a ship – again!”

A pair of pit droids scurry in and hastily patch up the shattered holo-screen with space tape while chattering to each other in binary. Once the screen is reassembled, though several pieces are misaligned and the entire screen is criss-crossed with the silvery lines of the tape, the ANNOUNCER says: Presenting the MODAL NODES DANCE TROUPE, and, back by popular demand CHEWBACCA!

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Uncle Sheev's commercial by Chyntuck​

Uncle Sheev's animation by Mr Chyntuckopoulos​

Rogue One skit by Chyntuck​

 

Wait- I gave Tarkin a baaad idea! I'm sorry guys!!

Thank you again for the headsplode! And congrats to Raissa Baiard, Findswoman, and Briannakin for their wins! Those were excellent nominations for everyone!

 

Congrats once again to everyone. (And deepest thanks for the nomination. )

 

The camera picks out Mara and Ezra sitting between her family and the crew of the Ghost. The little girl in the sparkly pink dress sitting next to Mara giggles madly as she and Ezra stand. As they make their way to the stage, holding hands, you can see a young man with shaggy blonde hair sitting on the aisle. He holds up a sign that says "I <3 U MARA", and starts to pout when she walks by without stopping.

Onstage, Mara takes the microphone with a smile. "Thank you so much! It's really an honor to win Best Original Relationship, especially since Mom and Dad won the same award last year. I'd like to say thank you to my family and all the members of the Idiot's Array, and I'd just like to take this opportunity to say... see, Mom, I told you!" The camera pans back to the Blayne family; Doran looks amused, Raissa, not so much. Mara gives Ezra a mischievous smile. "So, if Mom and Dad were here last year, and we're here this year, does that mean next year…"

"Heh," he laughs nervously and takes the microphone from her. "Okay, my turn, huh? I want to say thanks to my master…"

A shadowy figure in the back of the audience, whose red eyes are just visible beneath the hood of his cloak, stands up. "That's my boy!"

Ezra rolls his eyes. "…my real master, Kanan, and to Hera, Zeb, Sabine...and, yeah, even you, Chopper. Most of all, I'd like to say 'Cheers, Ace.'" He salutes Mara with his statuette.

"Cheers, Spectre." She returns the salute with her own Golden Yoda. The orchestra plays a quenk jazz version of "The Sequential Passage of Chronolgical Intervals" as they leave the stage.

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Wow, thank you very much! I'm so thrilled to win Best Original Relationship for my wild hare of a 'ship...especially since I figured it would never get anywhere, because OMG not Luke I'm honored to get Best Reviewer in Beyond, too, and I promise once the craziness of Awards is over, I will get back to reviewing.

Congratulations to Briannakin, Findswoman and divapilot, and all the nominees!

 

I was literally laughing out loud at this skit! The cat gave me a funny look. And I loved the ads, as always!
* * *
RENATA, KESS and MEL are seated at the table, waiting for the awards to be announced. MEL is sitting with crossed arms, in a sparkling black gown beaded with gold lozenges and suits of Sabacc cards.

RENATA: (whispers to KESS) Why is Mel pouting?

KESS: (whispers) She has to work tonight. Her Dad is hosting a Casino night party; proceeds to benefit the Galactic Refugee Resettlement Fund. She's supposed to walk around, chat with the guests, and make sure everyone is having a good time.

RENATA: (still whispering) How is that different from what she does any other day?

KESS: (whispering) Because it's WORK. If she wasn't required to do it, she'd be fine.

RENATA: That's crazy!

KESS: That's Mel.

As the ceremony progresses, they sink down to take cover from various explosions and flying debris.

RENATA: Yes! So glad for Briannakin; I loved that story!

KESS: Me too, it was like a fairy tale, but it also seemed like a real relationship. Did they just say the Death Star was on the way?

MEL: Oh, divapilot got the Headsplode Award!

RENATA: I was laughing at that one. I'm thinking that little Ben's teachers took early retirement or put in for hazardous duty pay.

KESS: Maybe the audience should be getting hazardous duty pay. (her commlink beeps)

RENATA: Oh, and Raissa Baiard won, too! That's great, that is a fun relationship she's been writing.

MEL: I'd love to visit Markesh, someday. I've heard they're becoming a fashion hot spot, a lot of great young designers there.

KESS: Oh, no!

RENATA: You're not upset, are you? You can't expect to win everything.

KESS: No, no, it's not that...it's my dad! (She hits the control on her commlink, and a small holo of WEDGE ANTILLES appears)

WEDGE: Hi, sweetheart.

KESS: Daddy, what's wrong? Is the First Order attacking the fleet? Is it the Death Star? Or is Uncle Hobbie in a Bacta tank again?

WEDGE: Oh, no, nothing like that. Your mom and I have been watching the Fan Fic Awards, and we're just wondering...who is this Dameron fellow and when do we get to meet him? (KESS turns red. Her mouth moves, but she can't speak. She looks to her companions for help)

MEL: (getting up from the table) I'm just going to run over and congratulate Findswoman in person, she's been such a great reviewer and supporter of ours.

RENATA: And I'm going to congratulate Raissa Baiard, since we didn't get a chance to chat at the Celebration in Orlando. (They both disappear, leaving Kess alone at the table)

WEDGE: Sweetheart, can you hear me? I said--

KESS: Uh, Daddy, I can't chat right now, the Death Star is about to blow up the auditorium, so I've got to scramble.

WEDGE: Well, I'm already on the way with the old Rogues, since they were all coming to Lando's party anyway. We'll catch up in the hangar afterwards, then. See you soon! (the holo winks out)

KESS: (disgusted) Great. Just great.

 

Congrats to all the winners!

 

Congratulations to all winners of this years awards.

 

From: Emperor Palpatine
To: Grand Moff Tarkin
Cc: My young apprentice
Subject: Death Star itinerary

Dear Moff Tarkin,

It has come to my attention that the Death Star is making a detour through the Fanfic Awards Auditorium on its way to the fourth moon of Yavin.

The destruction of the Rebel Alliance is the Empire's utmost priority at this time. Kindly redirect the Death Star to follow the Millenium Falcon immediately. Once your task there is completed, you may return to the Fanfic Awards -- although I do recommend single reactor ignition, as we would like to hold a proper Golden Palpatine ceremony next year.

Also, please make sure that the Hutt Smut Emporium advertisement is never broadcast again. It is most regrettable that anyone got wind of my extra-curricular business activities.

I appreciate your diligence.

Best from

Your Emperor

 

Thanks to Chyntuck for the hilarious ad and skit, and to Mr Chyntuckopoulos for making the ad animation.

Congratulations to:

Briannakin for another lovely Bail/Breha story -- I blame you for getting me addicted to these characters, just know that.

Raissa Baiard for a fun and endearing couple that definitely went outside the box!

Findswoman and Raissa Baiard for their fantabulous contributions to the forum as reviewers.

divapilot for the giggles! Tell Chewie I said hi! Or whatever the translator will turn that into...

Oopsy doopsy.