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  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Sidious, Snoke and Salacious B Crumb’s Sarcastic and Sassy Situation Saloon (Fanfic Social Thread)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction and Writing Resource' started by Briannakin , Oct 11, 2017.

  1. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Yeeees. I played piano for years without a teacher because my parents had me choose between my instruments and I wanted to do orchestra more than anything else. It led to me playing a Beethoven sonata on piano at my senior recital, but also was why I knew most of the hymns when I was a missionary and sent to places where they hadn't had a pianist for three years. I got a piano teacher after being a missionary and have now done solo recitals and own the piano that my mother grew up playing and am the accompanist for the choir at church. Just because I did piano as something I enjoyed without having to be good at it.
     
  2. mavjade

    mavjade Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Sep 10, 2005
    Thank you guys for the encouragement! You guys are the best!! [:D] I've just ordered shoes and dancewear, so it's a step in that direction!

    I feel you on this! I was never that great, but I loved it! But also with being a perfectionist which has if anything, gotten worse as I've gotten older so I know that's a factor too. But you are right, you don't have to be great at something to enjoy it!
     
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  3. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    Nobody told me that getting my own place was going to cause me to go to bed early. But here I am at 10:00 lying in bed about to turn out the light and go to sleep. I don't even have to be up early tomorrow. #adulting
     
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  4. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Whenever I’m on my own, I think I’m going to be super-night-owly. Yeah, my helpful brain turns off at 9 and I am reduced to trying to stay awake through a Netflix episode.
     
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  5. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    You have a living room now correct (it's not like a bachelor suite)? When you lived with you dad, did you do a lot of 'living' in your bedroom (eating, doing homework, watching stuff, writing, general computer/internet stuff)? If so, you might be experiencing the positive effects of 'sleep hygiene' (I think that's what its called... could be something else. I've had... a day and now my brain is mush). Basically the idea is, you only use your bed (or sometimes your whole bedroom) for sleep and this can improve your sleep and entire circadian rhythm drastically.

    I know I experienced this when I first moved out. When I lived with my family, I basically did everything (homework, writing, etc) in my bed (small bedroom and it was the only place remotely quiet). Anyways, when I moved out and suddenly had a living room all to myself, I basically only used my bedroom for sleep - and I still do. In those first few months after I moved, I slept AMAZING. Even now, I don't have NEAR the same amounts of issues falling asleep as I once had.
     
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  6. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

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    Mar 26, 2001
    I recently started doing a lot more of my “living” in my bedroom because I’ll get a early-morning work thing that I can do from bed or will only feel like doing writing under a pile of blankets.

    Now, slight vent time: I also have my boss who wants me to be the personnel board member so she will consult with me on an issue late at night. I would give her some boundaries, but there are sometimes genuine urgent issues and last week, when she put something to vote by the board, she did the opposite of what we voted on because she wanted to act quickly and that is having lasting effects. She made a sweeping policy change that does make sense, but we voted to not make it effective immediately so we wouldn’t penalize a specific organization head. She meanwhile cced me on the email where she informed that person of the new policy and did damage to the relationship I had just repaired. This was the same weekend where I had a subordinate feel belittled and come to me with their concern. I talked to them and we made peace and are now on good terms. Well, because I didn’t want to have the subordinate someday take offense and cite our previous issue, I let my boss know. I had to talk her out of penalizing THAT person for a valid concern because what my boss saw in both cases was “you are making life harder for a capable and intelligent board member and I’d rather lose you than her.” Except in case #1, it was a matter of the professional contact misconstruing an arrangement and in case #2, I spoke out of turn and can totally see why that made them feel bad. So thanks, boss, for keeping me protected by your mighty wrath, but I am now feeling like someone people will have to be afraid of irking and that’s not who you want as the personnel manager over all the regional supervisors. I’m the person people come to for training as well and personally handle two major functions of the organization. I’m the go-to board member for five vital things for every member of staff on a weekly basis and she can’t set me up as the person who cannot be disagreed with.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2020
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  7. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Chosen One star 6

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    Nov 7, 2010
    Actually, I don't. It's an efficiency/studio apartment, so there's no separate living room. So I'm literally living in my bedroom. I did do a lot of living in my bedroom at my dad's house, but that hasn't really changed here. I think what has changed is that I have more space than before, so I have a separate card table set up that I do things at instead of having to use my bed as a table. But I still spend time lounging on my bed killing time on my phone and such.

    Also, my bedtimes have varied. Some nights it's closer to 1:30 AM before I turn out the light, sometimes as early as 10:00 PM. At my dad's place, I had to be totally exhausted to even consider turning out the light before midnight.
     
  8. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Maybe just having that card table is enough to help with dictating spaces for certain activities [face_dunno]

    However, speaking of sleep, I somehow got none last night. My brain was simultaneously mush, yet would not shut off. I think I was having anxiety... about nothing. I didn't fall asleep till 4, and when I woke up at 8, I was going to let myself fall back asleep since I have nothing I need to do today (my contract work is kinda at a halt: I need to hear back from someone before I can go onto the next part... which may be a bit), and usually I can get a few more hours in that way, but nope. Thankfully, again, I have nothing that I need to do, so if I have to curl up and nap, I can (though I'm going to try not to). I wonder if I should risk coffee (it might keep me from napping, or keep meeting from napping and make my anxiety so much worse that I can't sleep again).

    But how the hell did I live on like 4 hours of sleep every night in high school? I need to get better at getting up, getting out of bed, and doing something (even if it's just brainless youtube videos on my couch) when I can't sleep, instead of just laying there for hours. I eventually did get up at like 3 last night which I think eventually did help me get to sleep.
     
    Last edited: Jan 23, 2020
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  9. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    I
    I know what you mean. I used to pull all-nighters to finish papers, sleep for 30 minutes on the train and still be able to intelligently participate in Greek class. I got 3 hours of sleep last night and barely made it through the day with the help of some very tart lemonade.
     
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  10. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    Yup. Used to get 3-4 hours per night, even less on band trips, yet somehow managed to be out of the house, busy and active for like 16 hours depending on the day. Today I can't even write fanfic (I'm having a day where I've convinced myself everything I've written in the past few weeks is just bad and I'm not sure if it's actually bad or if I'm just crabby from lack of sleep) let alone concentrate on anything else.
     
  11. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Oh my gosh, how I relate to all of this. Though it’s even worse when I’m trying to play in my own sandbox instead of George’s. Fanfic is saving my sanity, though mostly on my transformers mega-collaboration that has five authors between the ages of 15 and 43 and requires me to be the zany conspiracy theorist instead of an angsty princess of Alderaan.
     
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  12. mavjade

    mavjade Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Sep 10, 2005
    I hate that. It's so frustrating when you can't pinpoint why you are anxious and it's hard to work toward anything to help. Especially when you are trying to sleep.

    Right?! Even just a few years ago I could do 6 hours and be ready to go for the whole day. Now I feel like if I don't get at least 7.5 I'm a zombie.
    I also need to get better about getting up and doing something. I'll just lay there for hours and not sleep and think about all the not sleep I'm doing.
     
  13. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Feb 25, 2010
    If I had a choice, I would always pick being an angsty princess of Alderaan.

    Yup. Part of my problem (particularly last night) is my bed is so warm and comfortable, which normally isn’t a problem, but it makes me convince myself if I just lay there for a bit longer I’ll fall asleep faster than I would if I got up and took something or did something for a bit, which of course is rarely true.
     
  14. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    So would I, but I get paid for writing snarky Bostonian swan maidens with existential crises and Jewish college students who inherit their family’s Christmas tradition. If I had my way, Amazon’s worlds project with publishable fan work would include Star Wars and I could turn my weird cult following on tumblr into more royalties. And get to send out some of my higher-quality epics.
     
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  15. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2007
    Saving money for a trip in either September or October and since I will be traveling with a seventeen/eighteen month old I want to do a direct fligbt since some of the layovers either wouldn't leave much time to race across the airport to my next gate or I would potentially have a bored toddler that needs to be entertained for anywhere from 2 to 4+ hours. Yes I will have to fly out of an airport that's a little further away but if I don't have to worry about racing across the airport to my next flight or worry about an uptight toddler for the longer layovers.

    Also my MIL will be traveling with us so she can see a friend and if needed lend a hand with the Youngling and as a result I have honored her request to be able to push the stroller at the airport since she doesn't do well after sitting for a long time.
     
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  16. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    I went on a road trip to Disneyland with two friends, their 4yo and their 9-month-old and my main function was keeping the kids happy all the way to Anaheim and taking turns with the baby who couldn’t go on some rides. Thank goodness for your MIL.
     
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  17. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Feb 25, 2010
    So, can I just rant for a moment? I just got off the phone with my mother and it was mostly the usual (and stereotypical) "why don't you call more often?? What's going on in your life?" (curling and partying with new friends, Mom, it's awesome). But she also gave me some... awkward? weird? news and IDK how I feel about it.

    So, basically, my (younger)half-brother is getting married. He got engaged over Christmas and I am super happy for him and his fiancee (whom I adore). Unfortunately - and to condense 20 years of emotional, mental, and financial abuse - my (former)-step-family (my half-brothers' father, aunt, grandparents) is a bunch of horrible people. They are now paying for the wedding. Biiiig mistake on my brother's half given how manipulative they are, but whatever, I'll go, put up with their ultra-religious hypocritical ceremony and do my best just to smile and not tell anyone off.

    Then my mom told me the date. It's in October, and it's the same day as the anniversary of father's (biological father's) death. Sure, yes, it has been 16 years, and most years I let it pass without much thought, but it's still a date of so much pain and trauma for my sister and I for a number of reasons. I don't think anyone picked the date this on purpose - I dont think anyone involved in the planning process knows the significance (and I know all about the headaches of wedding planning and trying to book the Catholic cathedral in the town they are getting married in since I've been to other weddings there). I have actually had to attend a wedding on the date before (it's the Thanksgiving long weekend here), but having to see and put up with my step-family on that date, will be difficult at best.

    So, yeah. Thankfully I have nothing to do in or for the wedding. I just have to show up and try not to sass anyone. But I'm thinking I'll have to treat myself to a new, cute (and possibly really slutty just to be THAT SPITEFUL) little black dress.

    And maybe bring back the mohawk and blue hair (which I do miss and was considering bringing back anyways).

    And maybe have a boyfriend or girlfriend to bring as a date and just be pukingly cute with.

    Edit: basically, I love my brother and will do whatever will make him happy on his special day (and he won't care what colour my hair is). It's just that I already wasn't looking forward to this wedding and (mostly just) having to be cordial to my former-step-family. This just makes me dread it more.
     
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2020
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  18. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    Oh, wow, I can see how fraught that will feel, @Briannakin. I fully support the little black dress.

    On May 19, 2005, I went to court and got the annulment granted for my abusive marriage. (I broke up with my psychotic ex the same day Padme’s husband went Vader and I actually saw a midnight showing before getting up to go see a judge.) My older sister got engaged and decided her perfect wedding date was May 19 four years later. So I had to go to the wedding across the country with all my family and extended family on one side and every year, the whole family gushes about the happy, happy, blissfully happy with two more kids life they’ve made for each other and I grit my teeth and try not to yell at people. It doesn’t help that my mother has asked six times in the last year why I didn’t just stick around long enough to have the kids that I’ve always wanted and so I wouldn’t be lonely now. It got so persistent that I snapped “he tried to kill me three times. It I’d stuck around long enough for kids, he’d have tried more times and eventually probably succeeded.” Her response was “well, come on. You would have worked it out eventually.”
     
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  19. Gamiel

    Gamiel Chosen One star 9

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    Dec 16, 2012
    Wow, that's just... unthinking and unsensitive. And from your mother of all people :eek:
     
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  20. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    She believes that I was doing the whole marriage thing by faking love and wanting attention, so she thought I’d adhere to some kind of “I did this” checklist, including kids. There are a LOT of things that she doesn’t know because of that and while my younger sister knows, my parents never will.
     
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  21. Lady_Misty

    Lady_Misty Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 21, 2007
    @Briannakin it's your right to grieve and have a date that will always have emotional significance to you. It took me until recently to not feel like I was a terrible sister for not remembering Renee's birthday until the next day. She's been gone for almost ten years. With how certain people treat you they probably didn't or wouldn't care that you lost your father that day years earlier.

    We had Renee's funeral on Kathy's birthday because of the timing of her death and needing to bury her in a timely manner. I don't know how Kathy feels about it but I know despite the distance between us growing up it would have been hard if i was in her shoes.

    And I fully support @DarthIshtar wear a black dress to the wedding.

    And @Briannakin you might like my SIL Dany. She would totally find a way to mess with your former step family as she finds way to screw with abusive members of her family; her mother's side of the family.
     
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  22. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

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    Mar 26, 2001
    That’s a bit like when we had to have my grandmother’s funeral the day before my mother’s birthday. There was no way of postponing at the time.
     
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  23. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Chosen One star 6

    Registered:
    Nov 7, 2010
    On the topic of dead relatives, I think I mentioned here a couple weeks ago that my grandmother died on January 9. My birthday is January 29. Today, my dad told me that his sister dropped off Grandma's final birthday card for me at his house. Apparently she had already gotten it and put the cash in it (she always gave cash for birthday and Christmas gifts) before she died.

    It hadn't really hit me that she's truly gone until I got the message about the card.
     
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  24. Briannakin

    Briannakin Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

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    Feb 25, 2010
    I'm sorry on all accounts. As someone who witnessed her mother's similar situation with my former-step-father, it's a good thing you never had kids with that man. She stuck in that relationship for 20 years because of my brothers and even now, she still is being dragged through the drama by him and his family.

    But I try not to blame people too much for their choice in wedding dates. It's hard not to hit SOMEONE'S bad anniversary, birthday, etc. Particularly since most weddings - especially where I'm from - really only have a mid-April to mid-October timeframe (I have been to a few outliers). That's not that many weekends to pick from. My mom was married to my father on her mother's birthday and I had to be in the infamous bridezilla wedding the day before my birthday.
    We had to have my father's funeral on my grandfather's (his father's) 60th birthday. Yeah... that sucked.

    It's less about the colour and more about looking damn hot to show I'm living my best life, to spite all the horrible people.

    I already have experience messing with them, but I'm going to have some more fun (not so much fun to cause drama, but my goal is to get the stink eye from the aunt, grandmother, and grandfather). My sister's boyfriend (whom they have never met) has a green mohawk and neck tattoo. We already have plans for matching hair.


    But yeah, last night I realized I was kinda being crabby, both from the news, and the fact that I really wanted to go for a walk yesterday (I needed some fresh air and some exercise), but between low blood sugar issues and the really long phone call with my mother, by the time I could get out, it was kinda late. But I think I will go today.

    But, yeah, the wedding is still like over 9 months away. I can do it. I'll maybe treat myself to something that'll make me feel particularly bad-ass a few months before - either bring back the wild hair or finally get another tattoo or something.


    I'm sorry. Things like that can hit us at the weirdest times. She sounded like an amazing woman by the fact that she had gotten your card already.
     
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  25. DarthIshtar

    DarthIshtar Chosen One star 10

    Registered:
    Mar 26, 2001
    I know. But my family has communal efforts to all feel the same way about things. I remember my mother taking me to dinner so she could yell at me for not reacting as hysterically as my sister to a recent crisis. She has said things like I’m a sociopath who has no feelings and that I’m demonically possessed. These comments started when I was 12. So I balk every time my family starts a group chat to scrutinize our responses to good and bad news. I have this stupid idea that I’m entitled to have my own personality, but get harassed for it. For example, no one believes me that 2 years after my mother told a lie to cover her tracks, I was locked in a room while chewed out for the crime that she admits to having invented. I don’t go to holidays because my dad turns into a mean sober when it’s a special occasion. It is really exhausting to be so concentratedly disliked and still be expected to feel like we’re normal as a family.
     
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