main
side
curve
  1. In Memory of LAJ_FETT: Please share your remembrances and condolences HERE

Saga - ST My take on Episode IX - The Rise of Skywalker

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by JABoomer, May 6, 2020.

Tags:
  1. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Happy ending! And love how at the end Rey is up to something....[face_thinking] Great work on this and an interesting take on the TRoS!
     
    JABoomer likes this.
  2. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Thanks! The idea was to setup 15-20 years later, where Rey is the Jedi Grand Master, the Jedi temple is Jabba's former palace on Tatooine, Finn is Chief of State and Poe Chief of the Defense Force of the Galactic Alliance.

    Question for you and @Cowgirl Jedi 1701, some of the paragraphs in the later chapters got large. Were they too big, or still manageable?
     
    gizkaspice likes this.
  3. gizkaspice

    gizkaspice Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 27, 2013
    Rey being the Jedi Grand Master is awesome.

    Generally, you should start a new paragraph when you move on to a new point or idea. For example, if the paragraph is about one character's thoughts, it's fine if it becomes large provided it's the same idea. So it's not so much about the length, but depends what the paragraph is about. That helps to break things up for easier reading. Hope that helps!
     
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2020
    JABoomer likes this.
  4. Cowgirl Jedi 1701

    Cowgirl Jedi 1701 Force Ghost star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 21, 2016
    It wasn't a wall of text, so I guess it was okay. That said, it was a sufficiently well written story that I want paying too much attention to the formatting.
     
    gizkaspice and JABoomer like this.
  5. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 3, 2002
    Awesome re-imagining of The Rise of Skywalker!=D= Really enjoyed all the subtle and not-so subtle changes you made to craft a much better story than we got on screen, in my opinion anyway. But I have to admit, I was hoping for a Reylo ending. [face_blush]

    Will we get to see you build on this last sentence with a new story?[face_praying]

    Love the sound of this. @};-

    You wrote a great story from start to finish. ^:)^ Well done.
     
    JABoomer and gizkaspice like this.
  6. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    THANK YOU VERY MUCH! :D:D:D

    ...and thank you for taking the time to read it!

    Haha! That seems to be a common sentiment within the FanFic pages!

    I have to say I agree with the decision to kill Kylo/Ben for a few reasons:

    1) Disney bungled the sequel trilogy so badly, I didn't want to have to compare Ben with Jacen anymore than I already do.
    2) It makes for a clean ending to the 'Skywalker Saga', now that arguably C-3PO is Anakin's sole "living" descendant.
    3) I'm not a huge advocate of the Prequels, but it gives further proof to the Chosen One concept, because it was Anakin's offspring who trained Rey, and Anakin's grandson who helped Rey bring balance to the Force. So that in a way, his whole life (and the life of his family) was devoted to the prophesy.

    Ha! I have no plans to honestly. I haven't thought out any detailed story ideas for this, some initial thoughts were (other than a very general sense of starting a new Jedi academy):

    -Could broom boy be Rey's first student?
    -Are the B'omarr Monks still living there?

    I would really enjoy a Legends version 2 with this arrangement!
     
    Last edited: Jul 31, 2020
    gizkaspice likes this.
  7. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Before this thread recedes into the hinterlands of the fan fic forum, I’d like to mention a few things.

    I’ve updated all chapters to match my latest edit. Changes were mostly related to breaking up large paragraphs but I’m still finding past tense verbs to change. I also switched Leia’s lightsaber to a blue colour.

    It’s very difficult to write in present tense. Even when writing the last chapters, I would get into the flow of writing in past tense (without realizing), and then have to change everything while editing. Writing present tense as if watching a movie was challenging, but it also kept things simple. I didn’t have to explore character thoughts or explain anything that wouldn’t be obvious when watching this scrip put to film.

    The journey of writing this story has been very enjoyable. I would often enjoy thinking of new story elements throughout the day or be excited to find time to sit down and write. Although I had not written fiction since junior high, I feel like I’ve honed my writing skills with technical documents at work, and I quickly got into a groove.

    The writing, and even more so the editing, took a lot of time. I can guarantee I’ve spent over 200 hours working on the novella. I finished writing in mid-June, but the editing literally never stops. I’ve got the story to a place where I’m satisfied with it, I’d estimate there’s only about 20 minor changes I might make if I went through it one more time.

    Although writing this was never a burden, and I often found it relaxing, I don’t think I’ll be able to continue writing on a regular basis, life is just too busy. I will remember the fond memories of writing this story, in case I need an escape in the future. I will try and make my way back to this forum from time to time!

    My initial two viewings of TROS provided strong motivation to write, as I was determined to fix the story haha. I recently watched TROS again, and I enjoy it more each time I watch it. I think that’s just because the plot holes aren’t jarring at this point. I still much prefer my own version.

    I got what I wanted out of the project, which is a head canon version of TROS that wraps up the trilogy and saga in a satisfying way. I had no expectations for posting it, although you always hope people will like your work and it will gain some traction on the forum.

    Thank you to anyone who took the time to read some of my work. Special thanks go out to @Cowgirl Jedi 1701, @gizkaspice, and @JediMaster_Jen for taking the time to read my story and provide feedback.

    JABoomer
     
    JediMaster_Jen and gizkaspice like this.
  8. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Haha, boy was I wrong. After reading Rae Carson's novelization I decided it was a good time to revisit my story. Minor changes only, but there were many of them - only two printed pages made it through my reading unscathed from the red ink! Anyways, everything updated now in case anyone reads the story in the future.
     
  9. chris hayes

    chris hayes Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2012
    I personally would have re-imagine TROS without Palpatine and with the force ghosts of all the fallen Jedi.
     
    JABoomer likes this.
  10. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    So who would have been the ultimate antagonist, Kylo Ren?

    At the end, to defeat your antagonist?
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2021
  11. chris hayes

    chris hayes Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2012

    Well RJ set up Kylo Ren as the big bad in EP8 so yes he could easily have been that.
     
    JABoomer likes this.
  12. CosmoHender

    CosmoHender Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 2, 2016
    So I read through the first nineteen chapters and honestly... I don't really care for this rewrite. You had both Kylo Ren being contacted by Palpatine and Kylo Ren killing the other Knights of Ren happen off-screen, with the former being something that really should have happened on-screen and the latter just being a bigger waste of the Knights than the actual film. The second act is still a scavenger hunt, except even worse than the one in the film. The characters just wander from Dromund Kaas, Ziost, and Korriban with the same goal of hoping they find a wayfinder, which makes the whole thing really episodic and repetitive. Not to mention how lifeless those worlds are, while the planets visited in Episode 9 at least had people living on them. I honestly just got bored very quickly, which is best exemplified that while Kylo had to fight through cultists to get the wayfinder in Episode 9 here he just... walks around until he finds it.
     
    JABoomer likes this.
  13. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    How would you have ended it, with Kylo winning, redeemed (dead or alive), or dead?
     
  14. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    First of all, I appreciate you taking the time to read some of my story. As I outlined in the first post, my objective was not necessary to re-imagine Episode IX, but to do a re-write of the script, keeping the things I liked and replacing the things I didn't to form a new head-canon Episode IX for myself. You're the first person to provide a negative reaction to it, but it's not surprising that my story is not loved by all, haha.

    I killed off the Knights of Ren off-screen because TLJ didn't touch on them - and therefore we hadn't seen or heard from them in awhile, and it served a convenient way to explain who they were and why Luke wasn't constantly pestering Kylo as a Force ghost.

    I found the idea and application of the TROS dagger really bad (I suppose it's possible that the Force guided Rey to the exact spot on Kef Bir she needed to be to use her accidentally found dagger). I really wanted to include the forgotten/ancient Sith worlds from Legends, and they were designed to be lifeless/repulsive so that it was realistic that the Wayfinders could still be there.
     
  15. CosmoHender

    CosmoHender Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 2, 2016
    Considering the short span of time that The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi occurs in, it hasn't actually been that long since we saw or heard from the Knights of Ren. It's still a waste to just kill them all off-screen, especially when they could have offered a potentially interesting obstacle for the heroes. While Rise of Skywalker didn't do enough with the Knights of Ren, you just do nothing with them at all and just having them killed off-screen is still just a weak excuse not to do anything interesting with the Knights.

    Including the ancient Sith worlds from Legends is understandable, but it's still incredibly repetitive. At least in Episode 9, there was a reason for why each planet was visited. There was a linear path, while with your rewrite the characters are just wandering in the hopes that they find what they are looking for. It feels aimless.
     
  16. chris hayes

    chris hayes Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2012
    I suppose redeemed dead but it took all the powers of the force ghosts ( in the flesh so to speak ) to bring him back to the light.
     
    JABoomer likes this.
  17. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Like all the Jedi Force ghosts return to perform a dark-side exorcism in order to redeem Ben, and than he dies heroically reversing all his misdeeds?
     
  18. chris hayes

    chris hayes Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2012
    I wouldn't quite put it that way but in a sense yes.
     
  19. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    That's fair, but there's three known ancient Sith worlds (Korriban, Ziost, and Dromund Kaas) which may contain a wayfinder, so it's luck of the draw, but limited to a few planets.
     
  20. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    I touch on this a little bit at the end of this story: https://boards.theforce.net/threads/chain-of-command.50056048/
     
    gizkaspice likes this.
  21. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Annual edit completed and updated. This story has become head canon TROS for me, and I have say, I really enjoy it :).
     
  22. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    @Roary did you only make it halfway through?
     
  23. Roary

    Roary Jedi Grand Master

    Registered:
    Aug 7, 2001
    Hi there, no I read all of it but only got around to liking half of it, sorry I was in the middle of something and left, but have put that right now.
    This was a great read and much better than the movie we got, the only issue I had was with Palatine. He really should have stayed dead for me, his return still tarnishes what Anakin already did, I would have preferred Plagues or even Snoke back from the dead, but this was still a great read with a good use of character's and at least you attempt to explain what's going on, something we simply don't get in TROS.

    Well Done.
     
    JABoomer likes this.
  24. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Hey, thanks. I'm honoured that you took the time to read it. You are the only person (that I am aware of) that has read it in its current/best form, so I appreciate the feedback!

    I don't know that I would have brought back Palpatine if I was starting from scratch. However, I was intrigued when they announced his return, and I began to think of the possible Rey / Chosen One connection at that time - perhaps too much so, as I was likely sold on the idea and further disappointed by the film. I do think Palpatine's return provides some continuity for the overall saga.

    Anyways, I tried to take the overall Ep. IX concept and improve it, for my own head canon - which I accomplished.
     
    Roary likes this.
  25. JABoomer

    JABoomer Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Annual read completed, and edits incorporated. I really love this story, I actually look forward to reading it again every December (as is my tradition).