Saga - ST Saga - Legends The Cat, the Kylo, and the Wardrobe--A Legends and Sequel Mix

!!!!!!!!!!! I won't attempt to quote the parts I found ESPECIALLY hilarious. But yup, the Vader themed picture and the visits to other universes. Even had a run in in Tolkien's worldscape and Trek?! Wow, this is traveling.

 

This is indeed a great Christmas present. Sorry that I unwrapped it this late!

You are gorgeous, so is the continuing family drama with razor sharp humour, cool fight scenes and everyone being the beloved SW character that he or she or it is!

Awww, and you even brought Baby Grogu into this...

 

Thank you for reading and commenting! I'm glad you found it funny. Gotta have those Vader undies included
Yup, definitely a run in Tolkien's worldscape and Trek amongst other worlds where Kylo annoys many people.

I was having a really stressful week and this really made me smile--thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it and of course, Baby Grogu absolutely had to be included somehow

Okay, next (and last) chapter will be posted soon to end the old year. Thanks for all who read and commented and enjoyed this story so far. It means a lot to me.

 

Here is the last chapter: it has a little bit of everything and a lot of the unexpected. Thanks again for everyone who read or commented and have a great New Year!

Chapter 10

“So,” started Luke, wiping off green milk from his beard. “I sensed a great disturbance in the Force, as though Kylo Ren was being a dumbass again.” He glanced around at the confused Solo family standing in shock, the broken vases and furniture, and the very angry Mara Jade with her arms crossed across her chest. There was a small fire in the corner that Han was trying to put out with Chewie but the fire extinguisher malfunctioned. “..... and I was right.”

Kylo glared. “Quit following me around, Uncle!”

“I have to, Ben,” said Luke. “ How else would I stop you from destroying the lives of unaware people in other times and lands?”

“Okay,” agreed Kylo. “But did you have to bring the hobbits with you?”

Luke grumbled as the hobbits, Merry and Pippin, ran out from behind his robe in excitement.

“We're going to become one of 'em Jedis, right Master Luke?” asked Pippin and then mimicked the sounds and motions of a lightsaber. "Pshhewww, psshhew, pew, pew!"

“Uh….I think there was a big misunderstanding,” clarified Luke. “Anyways, I already told you you're just too short to be a Jedi.”

“Size matters not!” protested Merry. “Isn't that what your green leprechaun friend said?!"

Luke heaved a sigh and turned to Kylo annoyingly. “....And this is what happens when you go around and mess stuff up.” He kicked the hobbits away back into the void with his boot.

Mara Jade shifted her eyes between Luke and Kylo. “Why do I have a feeling you guys are in this together or something?”

“I've seen you in my dreams, Mara Jade,” said Luke suddenly. “ I know you're real. But it's better you stay here where it's safe since my dimension severely sucks.”

“Excuse me,” protested the Legends-Luke. “You do know she is my wife, right?”

“Well, from a certain point of view, since you are me, in theory, she's also my wife.”

“Wow,” whispered Mara to her husband, nudging him in the elbow. “He just went full-blown Obi-Wan Kenobi on you, Luke!”

“Hey, Luke,” said Han suddenly. “Is it true I got a narrow urethra over there?”

“....I was not aware of that and now I know something I didn’t need to know.”

Leia walked into the living room and saw her interdimensional brother. “Luke! I mean….other Luke! Or….another Luke? You look…..different.”

“Give it 30 years and a dumbass nephew who destroys your Jedi Academy and that'll do that to you.”

Kylo frowned. “Wow. Thanks dumbass Uncle.”

“You know, Ben, I think it's time to leave these nice people alone. They're probably traumatized by your presence and their IQs are probably lower as a result….”

“Well,” started Jacen. “He convinced my younger brother that Blackie was a girl. Sex education has fallen apart since then."

“Yeah,” said Anakin. “They’re called radiotransmitters and help Blackie with navigating the world.”

“You poor child,” said Luke sympathetically before turning to his alternative sister and her children, Jacen, Anakin, and Jaina. “It's nice to know I have nieces and nephews that seem reasonable and have not yet fallen to the Dark Side.” He looked to the kids. "Don't fall to the Dark Side, okay?"

"Okay, Uncle Luke," said the children in unison.

“And the other Luke and Mara Jade have a son, Ben Skywalker,” added Leia.

“The other Luke?” muttered Legends-Luke. “Why am I the other Luke?! He's the other Luke!”

Mara Jade poked him. “ You're just jealous of yourself, Luke!”

“Annnnd I think we're done here,” announced Canon-Luke before using the Force to kick Kylo Ren and Blackie into the void. “Hopefully they end up where they’re supposed to.”

He suddenly looked to the confused family and cleared his throat as he dusted his robe off. “Anyways, I don’t have one of those neuralyzer-thingamajigs to wipe your memories clean, so just try and have a nice, relaxing afternoon watching something more absurd to forget all about Kylo Ren, such as, oh, I don’t know….the Star Wars Holiday Special or something. Well, goodbye now!”

They watched the man disappear and the void in the middle of the living room vanish.

“That was...weird!” exclaimed Jaina, scratching her head. “Do you think we'll ever see Kylo Ren again?”

Mara Jade felt a shiver down her spine. “Ugh. Let’s hope not.” She suddenly turned to the two First Order officers still on the couch. “And why are you two still here!? Beat it!”

“Fine, fine,” said Hux reluctantly before picking up Millicent and walking out of the cabin with Captain Phasma.

Luke put on his shoes and suddenly felt something squishy and oddly smelly inside it. “Did….Did that orange cat leave poodoo in my shoe?!”

Han was calculating his repair bills. "I have a bad feeling about this...."

***

Kylo Ren landed in his room aboard the Supremacy on his butt. He touched his head and realized that the black kitten was missing. “Hey, where’s Blackie?”

***

“So, you’ve returned,” said a calm voice. “Perhaps you'll choose to stay here a while longer this time, Mr. Cat.”

Blackie shifted his eyes suspiciously before realizing he was aboard the Enterprise.

Mr. Spock saluted him with the Vulcan salutation and Blackie raised his paw as well. The cat jumped on his shoulder to go boldly where no cat has gone before.

And the starship warped into the open blackness of space in a flash of light in search of new adventures.

THE END

Epilogue:

Spoiler: Mr. Spock and Blackie, you're welcome

 

Thank you.

 

I'm so behind on everything right now, but I just want to say I haven't forgotten this story and I'm so looking forward to sitting down and reading the rest, I tell you what. And wishing you a very happy New Year!

 

Cute, but as a Trek geek, I must protest that the beautiful black cat being petted by Mr. Spock in the above GIF is actually named Isis, and she is a confederate of a character named Gary Seven, in an episode named (I think) Tomorrow In Yesterday.

No hate whatsoever, but the Trekkie side of me demanded that I voice this little nitpick.

 

Are you certain you're in the right dimension? (Yes, I know it's Isis, but for the purposes of this story it was just supposed to be a fun thing, sorry if I caused any offense since I'm not exactly a Trek fan or anything). Thanks for pointing that out for others though!

 

It's cool. Well, no, actually, it's not. Because it's Spock. Spock is hot.

 

This is a fact

 

“The other Luke?” muttered Legends-Luke. “Why am I the other Luke?! He's the other Luke!”

Mara Jade poked him. “ You're just jealous of yourself, Luke!”

“Annnnd I think we're done here,” announced Canon-Luke before using the Force to kick Kylo Ren and Blackie into the void. “Hopefully they end up where they’re supposed to.”

Thanks for being so playful with the SW matters that most of us resented since Disney took over. And merging them in such charming, hilarious ways.

Even dragging certain hobbits and Mr. Spock into it.

A fantastic read!

 

Catching up, part 1...

As a fellow Canadian King of the Hill fan all I can say is: OMG YES TO ALL OF THIS!! WE ABSOLUTELY NEED THIS FIC!! Ooh, and maybe with Rey and Finn as Connie and Joseph? *face begging*

Now, onto Chapter 6!

I love Hux and Phasma debating whether to destroy the wardrobe and trap Kylo. It's probably very, very, very tempting!

Millicent and the creatures, lmao! Also, the voorpak is so cute!

This reminded me of the Hot Shots movies and I LOVE IT!!

Out of Hux, Kylo, and Phasma... Phasma is definitely the smart one. Also, I think it's a universal rule across all fandoms that you shouldn't mess with angry red-haired women because they will kick your ass!

And the Luke/Mara bits! Mara is definitely the smartest (sanest) one out of everyone!

Awww! This was sweet, it made me smile.

Chapter 7: The insanity continues and it is BRILLIANT!

Once again Mara proves she's the Smart One™.

OMG that dance/song/ice skating number! So awesome and slightly disturbing all at once! And...I may have listened to the Star Wars disco theme once or twice before. It's catchy okay!

Sounds delightful!

AHAHAHAH the "I care" exchange! The picture of Kylo making a silly face! Mara pointing them to the manchild! The last line! Perfection!

I will be back again to finish catching up, but I just want to say thank you once again for this story.

 

Finally finished reading this! I needed a laugh so badly. Thank you so much for sharing these insane adventures of Kylo, Blackie, and company!

Also:

Imagine if Kylo happened to stumble upon another wardrobe - one that dumped him in a little town called Arlen, Texas.

Now off to catch up on Kylo's adventures with Mango Mando!

 

@WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Glad you enjoyed it!

@AzureAngel2

I'd like to think that Disney didn't just 'erase' everything from Legends and replaced it with what we have...but that the characters in Legends just live their own lives in the previous dimension and want nothing to do with the modern stuff Thanks again for reading!


@amidalachick Thanks so much for reading the whole thing and commenting!

Sounds like a good plot bunny, I tell you what!

My original idea was for Phasma to kick him into the wardrobe as well and destroy it, hence ridding herself of two problems, but then I realized there would be no plot

Those angry red-haired women are a feisty bunch!

Mara is the Person of Reason™ and the Smart One™ for sure

ONLY listening it once or twice?! That sounds wrong...you need to listen to it more, it's awesome

Thank you for reading! I'm super glad you enjoyed them

Oh my, I can just imagine Hank Hill chasing after him and kicking his butt as he runs away.

I hope you enjoy it!

 

Somehow I feel like the entire story is summed up in this line

I had such a good laugh @gizkaspice, you have no idea. The snark is so strong with this one that, had the SW writers known that you'd come up with this, they'd probably have rethought their plans for the ST. Loved the idea that Mara is the sane one, and also that the long-suffering Blackie finally managed to escape!

Oh, and stormtroopers dancing Travolta-style?

 

Thanks for reading and commenting! Glad you enjoyed the catness (honestly I kind of forgot what this story was even about until you reminded me...)

Mara is ALWAYS the sane one! There has to be someone sane in these stories and she's the only one who can do it

Thanks again for reading!

 

Found this today and read it. WOW hilarious and hinting at more adventures for Blacky and Kylo. Star Trek? Harry Potter? Middle earth; yes that's there

 

Thank you! Glad you found it hilarious. Yes, definitely more adventures for Blackie and Kylo down the road--the story of how Kylo gets kick out of Hogwarts and bothers people on the Enterprise must be told!