Sidious, Snoke and Salacious B Crumb’s Sarcastic and Sassy Situation Saloon (Fanfic Social Thread)

19 April is just two weeks away! This is an opportunity to virtually in my book.

 

@Briannakin that's awesome news! Glad you got an appointment so soon!

Ooh, thank you! That sounds great and I'm definitely going to try it.

 

My mum and I went to the farmers' market this morning. We hadn't been there in a year, but now that she's vaccinated everything is possible. Incredibly exciting stuff, let me tellya. There were aubergines and onions and leeks and fresh eggs that you could see up close and even touch!

Yeah, I know, my two remaining braincells are malfunctioning. But after a year of buying groceries online, I feel like I've been on an adventure.

@amidalachick I hope you like it! One thing I forgot to mention: if you end up buying chickpea flour, make sure you keep it in an airtight jar in the fridge. It goes rancid pretty quickly at room temperature and it will pick up any smell nearby. I once made the mistake of putting it in a plastic baggie with one of those twisty ties and keeping cinnamon sticks in the same jar. For a year afterwards my face masks smelled of cinnamon.

 

You guys are all talking about vaccines and I think the earliest date I can get mine is about Christmas this year...or, if the trashy news is to be believed, possibly 2023. Apparently even though teachers have to be in front of kids (as confirmed by the outbreak the other day) we aren't frontline. The Government has, however, managed to royally screw this up because they apparently bought less vaccines then they told everyone and due to the way it's distributing them, it's vaccinating members of the community before actual front line doctors and nurses... *sigh*

Oh well.

In our house the eggs are out, the baskets are on the kids' doors and I'm going to bed early so that I can get enough sleep before being rudely awoken at 5am by children overly egg-cited children egged on by the idea of unrestricted sugar. Hopefully the six year old doesn't ask too many questions about how exactly the Easter bunny lays eggs (he asked last weekend about how Santa gets into our house when we have no chimney and when we said 'magic' started wondering how he could get into a room with no windows or doors at all).

 

Dear @Kit', I am so sorry to hear that your government equally thinks that teachers are so good at fighting viruses & germs, that they do not need to get the vaccination on time. Same here, too.

As for my poor Dutch husband, DarthUncle, he had his 1st AstraZeneca shot last Thursday, but since that there has been completely chaos here in Germany. And now he will not be given his second shoot with AstraZeneca anymore. I wonder what it's going to be for him in June. For it seems he needs a new vaccine altogether. Like the majority of people with a high health risk/ risk patients.

As for me, after having been sick since last weekend, I hopefully recover my voice before Tuesday morning.

Nobody has left the flat since I went to the doctor at Monday morning. (Well, I was in the inn-yard with the trash, but I guess that does not count.)

Therefore I long to get fresh fruits and vegetables from the nice Turkish market people that stand opposite the local library with their stall. (I know how you, dear @Chyntuck. I hate ordering online.) Otherwise we are well stocked for Easter for I did all the possible grocery shopping last week, when I was still healthy enough.)

 

Good grief, is it western Easter and Passover today? This goes to prove how badly I've lost track of time. Best wishes to everyone!

@Kit' @AzureAngel2 That sucks, for both of you I find it amazing how badly governments around the world are managing to **** up the distribution of vaccines. Here for the general population they just began the 75-80 age group, so the rest of us still have a long way to go.

 

Happy Easter & Happy Passover to those who celebrate it. Happy Spring to everyone else. My mother is astonished to learn that Mass is available on YouTube, since she can't get out much anymore. The number of different Masses available was a bit overwhelming to her.

 

Our church services have been broadcast from the chapel for months, which has been nice. People go, but we’re not going in person until we’re vaccinated and have waited for two weeks because there are a lot of anti-maskers sitting around and talking about how it’s evil to believe the CDC.

 

I seriously hate tax reports. In principle it's very easy here, but when I have a few US stocks and a very tiny amount of cryptovaluta it becomes more complicated.

 

Taxes are annoying. I have normal income, royalties, and haven’t been able to get an answer on how to file that I got a grant from my tribe as part of pandemic relief.

 

I have the bloody hiccups since yesterday. I'm still hiccuping away more than 24 hours later and as you can all imagine I slept really well last night. Oh, and I've tried so many times to drink water while holding my breath that I need to pee all the time. *grumbles as she reaches again for the bottle of water*

 

Ugh! I've never had hiccups for that long! I always seem to get them at the most inopportune times... like during exams!

So my mother has been here visiting me, which I kinda feel bad about since we are steamrolling towards another full-scale lockdown, but she also had to travel here for work so it wasn't exactly a "just for fun" trip (plus for her job, she has a hazmat suit and respirator so chances of her transmitting it are much lower for her than the average traveller). She leaves on Thursday and while it's been nice to see her and I've been taking advantage of having an able-bodied person at my disposal (MY CONDO IS SO MUCH MORE ORGANIZED! We ordered and put together three shelving units, plus installed 3 more shelves in my office closet)... but I am also reminded why I live alone! I like having the temperature set to where I like it, being able to listen to an audiobook while I fall asleep WITHOUT uncomfortable headphones, and being able to watch what I want to (I just want to watch something intelligent and/or nerdy). I need a weekend to recover from my long weekend!

 

Still hiccuping, but @Gamiel 's post made me laugh out loud (and yes, I tried the sugar too, it didn't work).

 

Hold your breath and swallow? Take even breaths?

 

I always drink water very slowly through the left side of my mouth. It’s what has cured my hiccups since my days in community theater.

 

I once had the hiccups that just would not go away (though it wasn't that long!). It was when I was living with housemates and we'd been trying to watch a movie, and even trying to bite them back, my hiccups are kinda loud. One of my housemates got up to get a drink, but immediately came back and started yelling at me in Finnish. It was possibly the most terrifying thing I'd even seen in my life, even her husband said he was terrified. Not only did it make my hiccups go away, none of us housemates had more than one hiccup for like 5 years, I think out of pure terror. (I asked her what she'd said and she said I didn't want to know.)

So I guess the moral of this story is, find someone who speaks Finnish to yell at you??

 

Hiccoughs are the worst! I hate them and they hurt (I sound like I'm burping. I don't get cute hiccoughs, just rough sounding ones). My Step-mum used to take great delight in scaring me to get rid of them...

I would lend you my step-mum, but I don't actually think anyone needs to meet her.

On unrelated news I posted one fic to Fanfiction.net. No reviews until today where I got one that
a) Did not mention the fic at all
b) Said that it was a great 'stress-reliever' which was bemusing
c) Asked me to join an app called Novel Star and post it to there.
d) All of the above

So I went to their facebook page and checked them out. Firstly all their reviewers are bots that say the same thing, and then on top of that they had some sample novels which I refused to believe were written by a human. I am all for new writers learning the trade and I'll never disparage anyone but this....this really was something.

I've bolded the most interesting bits.

and...

I mean I haven't got any views (okay like 5) and no reviews but there is no way I'm going to be uploading any of my stuff to here...

 

The hiccups went away while I'm waiting at the post office to collect a parcel. I guess seeing that I have number 769 while the person with number 632 is currently getting their stuff worked just as nicely as a very loud Finnish speaker or an unpleasant stepmother. Thanks all for the advice and the laughs! I didn't know about the trick of drinking from one side of your mouth, I'll try it next time.

That's some weird stuff from Ff.net @Kit'. I used to post over there too and I did get some bots but nothing as surreal as you.

 

The drinking from one side makes me concentrate my muscles a different way than my usual method of just drinking straight down the middle. And somehow, that concentration gets rid of the hiccups.

I’ve gotten those kinds of things on my website in the comments section.

 

My mother once scared me so bad (to get rid of my hiccups) she made me cry. I DONT LIKE BEING FRIGHTENED! It didnt work anyway. But that line would be enough to scare me too!

Had to wake up at 5am to say goodbye to my mom and then I didnt get back to sleep till 7 so I woke up late and didnt get that much more sleep anyways, so I'm feeling like a zombie today. I already said I wouldnt be on an optional work zoom seminar this evening (which I dont normally flake on these things because I love getting paid for sitting in front of a screen for 2 hours but I cant bring myself to even act like I care today) and I have a different zoom meeting with friends I may also flake on. I'm just feeling like I need to be an introvert burrito this evening.

 

Because I am gizkaspice:



Also @Kit' I used to also post things to fanfiction.net (back in the 2000s when it was actually cool and there were awesome authors) but now can't comment on it other than it's definitely reduced in quality and unless you're writing in a popular fandom about ECs everybody loves, you probably won't get many reviews.

 

So yesterday:
1) I stopped having the hiccups.
2) I spent two-and-a-half hours waiting at the post office, but it was *outside*. In the sunshine.
3) While waiting, I started reading the last Thrawn novel.
4) I had an awesome homemade burger for lunch.
5) I admired Chyntuquita the Gardener who watered the plants while I read more of the last Thrawn novel.
6) I soaked in that bubble bath I was fantasising about since Bri mentioned it.
7) While in the bubble bath, I finished reading the last Thrawn novel.

All in all, it was a good day

PS: Covid made me appreciate long lines at the post office. Who would've thunk, eh?

 

Sounds like an amazing day Chyn!

Umf. I am so glad it's friday! It was one of those days of just crazy running around with my co worker (at one point he just threw the van keys at me and yelled "you drive! I'm not driving anymore!") to cap off a hectic two weeks. But I came home to a nice clean house so I dont gotta do anything all weekend. I dont even have to talk to anyone! I'm considering a movie marathon on the couch in my pyjamas all weekend.

But I did get a nice phone call! I almost didn't answer it but I'm glad I did. It was the regional health authority, they had earlier vaccine appointments open and wanted to know if I wanted one, I said sure, why not. So my appointment is on the 17th now. It's only 2 days earlier but it's on a Saturday afternoon now.

 

Well, my father's surgery went well and he is home & recuperating. In pain, of course, but not bleeding like he was. My mother has a minor procedure scheduled for next week, so I said I'd stay to give her a ride (outpatient), otherwise I would have come home this Saturday. But I'll drive home next week and scheduled my first jab for the end of that week. And a haircut. Because I am turning into a Shetland Pony.