JCC What is the next BIG sport?

I love lacrosse, played it back in high school. I wouldn't at all mind seeing that become a Big Thing.

 

Monkey tennis?

 

Sumo wrestlers are pretty big.

 

How has this not happened yet ?

 

Has anyone tried giving monkeys rackets?

 

They make quite enough of that on their own.

 

If I’ve learned anything from the Wattos this year it’s that Monkeys do exactly two things, neither of which are tennis: Hug each other and use motor scooters to kidnap small children.

 

You gotta get rid of them, because it's no good leaving it in the deep freeze for your mum to discover, now is it? Then I hear the best thing to do is feed them to pigs. You got to starve the pigs for a few days, then the sight of a chopped-up body will look like curry to a pisshead. You gotta shave the heads of your victims, and pull the teeth out for the sake of the piggies' digestion. You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig ****, now do you? They will go through bone like butter.

You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig".

I don't know why we didn't also use a haka for our rugby. Clever of NZ to invent it for the purpose of sport though. Very good.

I set up a contest where I gave monkeys knives and let them fight homeless people, but The Man said society wasn't ready for this level of entertainment and sport just yet.

 

Can an infinite number of monkeys with an infinite amount of rackets win one Wimbledon championship?

 

American football's popularity has nosedived in the last few years for sure, but it's hard to say yet how much of that decline has to do with the general breakdown in social conditions vice declining interest in the game per se. I personally think the general good feelings that will be attendant to the end of quarantine and the return of full live attendance will re-infuse interest on a large scale. I also think that the proposed XFL/CFL merger has a chance to be a big success.

Formula 1, alas, will never really catch on in the USA on a large scale. For gearheads, Formula 1 is perpetually interesting because it represents the apex of automotive engineering, but for the casual viewer, the appeal has always been the simple spectacle, and in the turn in the last decade to make the cars more environmentally friendly has greatly reduced that aspect.

 

Gentlemen, a short view back to the past. Thirty years ago, Niki Lauda told us ‘take a monkey, place him into the cockpit and he is able to drive the car.’ Thirty years later, Sebastian told us ‘I had to start my car like a computer, it’s very complicated.’ And Nico Rosberg said that during the race – I don’t remember what race - he pressed the wrong button on the wheel. Question for you both: is Formula One driving today too complicated with twenty and more buttons on the wheel, are you too much under effort, under pressure? What are your wishes for the future concerning the technical programme during the race? Less buttons, more? Or less and more communication with your engineers?

 

[/throws arms up in the air] well there you go, no-one wants to show any initiative anymore.

 

Basket Golf. It’s basketball but you use a golf ball.

 

I assume nobody mentioned BASEketball because nobody's seen it.

 

“If you're going to become true dodgeballers, then you've got to learn the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, dive and dodge!” - Patches O'Houlihan.