Before the Saga Hollow (Latin Roulette)

Title: Hollow
Author: Kit'
Genre: Angst
Timeline: Before the Saga
Characters: OC's - Namia Zahalin, Tara Tarindae. Canon - Qui-Gon Jinn, Mace Windiu

Notes: Written for @Mira_Jade's Latin Roulette Challenge. The phrase was Gutta cavat lapidem (non vi sed saepe cadendo). Translation: a water drop hollows a stone (not by force, but by falling often).

***

One, two, three, together. One, two three. Together. One Tw-

A crash, a grimace and a whimper of pain.

“Again,” the voice rings out across the training floor. A voice that isn’t to be messed with. It doesn’t care about the pain, or the darkness, or the images that flicker behind eyes that can no longer see.

“Again.”

She pushes herself onto her hands and knees, willing her body to stand, feeling the strain of misused muscles and the pull of the scars that pattern her body like lace. Two far gentler hands on her shoulders, pulling her upright.

“You are too hard on her,” Namia’s voice. The one that goes with the gentle hands.

“I-” the first voice falters, “I just want her to succeed,” it mutters after a minute.

“At what cost, Mace?” Qui-Gon’s voice now. A modulating tone between harsh desire and smothering care. She sighs, feeling like a doll caught between three small children. Each wanting to fix, to mend, to care for the broken thing.

“I don’t want her thrown out of the Temple because she can’t see,” Mace mutters. She can hear the resentment in his voice, the spark of anger and loss underneath the exterior of one who believes resolutely in the Temple’s rules and the guiding light of the Force. “We’ve already lost one of us, I don’t want to lose another.”

There is an almost silent gasp and then whisper of sorrow, anger and despair. She winces in the darkness as the sounds of the Force flutter around her, but cannot trust her voice to speak. She wants to scream and wail, beat her fists and curse the darkness and the utter unfairness of it all, but she can’t. She is Jedi. She must let it go. She must move past the emotions to the peace beyond.

She has to remind herself that eventually the pain will pass. That her body will, one day, no longer betray her. That she can return to the lightsaber and the training floor soon. That she will endure because she must. She cannot falter, but must remain steadfast, even as the pain and the anguish and all the unfairness of the world whittles her away until she is nothing.

She stands and faces where the voices come from. Finally she finds her own voice.

“Again.”

 

Magnificently poignant, since we see how Tara eventually finds her confidence and Mace and she are bantering friends The sense of unfairness, loss, and struggle come through plainly.

 

Thank you. It was just such a perfect quote to write something dark and full of emotions and I'm glad they came through. Younger Mace is, at least in my head canon, driven by a desire to be the best but also stimied by the rules of the Order which he believes in whole-heartedly. Hence why, as an adult, he is often at odds with Qui-Gon and, later, Anakin, who both see rules as tools to be used and discarded as necessary.

I'm glad you enjoyed it and it's a good introduction to Tara. I should have made it clearer though that Mace, Tara, Qui-Gon and Namia are contemporaries (I had to stuff with Qui-Gon's age a bit) and for this would be about (checks excel spreadsheet) between 19 (Tara) and 24 (Qui-Gon). It's why they don't want to lose her because they've already lost Taeyn out of their little group of five and why Mace is being so pedantic about the fact that she has to succeed.

 

A great insight in Tara and Mace.

 

I have to echo @Findswoman - this was so powerful, and Tara's strength and determination really fit with the quote.

I especially loved these lines:

&

Her feeling helpless and passive while they discuss her, and then literally standing up and speaking for herself, is just so good.

Wonderful job on this!

 

You always find incredible characters and fit them to any challenge, weaving a wonderful story.

 

Thank you so much, that's such a wonderful compliment. Thank you

Aww, thank you. I really liked writing this, a nice challenge for writing from the perspective of someone who can't see.

She is definitely that, both before the incident and afterwards. Tara will always find a way or get her way purely by being persistent.

Thank you so much for reading and for setting such an amazing challenge!