Senate Mental Health Support Thread

I couldn't have said it better SatNov, those are very wise words imho. Sadly I find this tends to be worse in the US compared to other countries. But there are still some wonderful people out there!

 

Yes, indeed. I've met more good than bad, fortunately. I appreciate the compliment, but I wouldn't say I'm wise or sagacious. I've just met enough decent people to know that the world is not completely full of crap.

The main thing that worries me these days is that various people, including some of my fellow JCF members, might get Omicron. I think that there are so many ways to not only avoid the virus, but there are also a myriad of ways that this healthcare system could be improved to help us meet therapists who would console us during this difficult time. That way, we could talk about more amusing and entertaining things rather than having to focus on all this unnecessary drama in a healthcare system that should care more for individuals and groups in general. That's one reason I'm fond of what Vaderize and several of the folks on here talk about. The healthcare system treats people as products and means of attaining profit.

 

it is the one uplifting time of year for me. then the decorations come down and the lights go off and it's still dark outside early. There's that one january day they call 'blue monday' just for those reasons. Plus here in Phoenix i get to look forward to the long summer to come.

 

I have therapy tomorrow morning, and I'm looking forward to it. What I need from the new therapist is support while I process this loss. What I also need is support with staying in a forward motion through this. I start school in less than two weeks.

 

Is it ok for someone (a partner) to walk in to your personal space (the only bed in the house, to be clear) and— without any prior communication, requests, or concerns— demand that you either turn your computer off or leave the room so that they can sleep

Asking for a friend, genuinely not sure if that’s a legitimate thing to respect or if this friend is dealing with someone with control issues. This friend is used to yielding to their partner with these requests (lopsided finances and weird baggage / history) but did not comply this time (“No, I’m sorry, but you have a face mask that you can use”), and the partner was belligerent, hateful, and rude, and resorted to name calling and cursing.

The friend subsequently attempted to peacefully understand why their partner was acting this way, only to be met with increased hostility and wordplay. The friend then shifted gears and demanded their partner get out and sleep somewhere else if they believed it was acceptable to talk to their partner like that. This escalated to throwing pillows and blankets off the bed, but did not get physical, unless my friend being hit with a giant blanket counts. They eventually did leave the room. To my friend, they were standing up for themselves analogous to how a monkey might do it. They are used to yielding instead but couldn’t do it this time.

Their partner’s mood is unstable since they have a history of getting on medications but then getting off them without consulting their psychiatrist. Though this happened recently, they insist this has nothing to do with their current behavior, and that they are actively working on keeping a stable mood, and to inform them when there are issues. To my friend, this incident is an issue, especially when they had been really friendly and nice for the last few days before this abrupt mood change that the friend couldn’t explain or understand.

another question: is it ever a partner’s business in regards to someone else getting off medications w/o consulting doctor or changing medications? When is making note of wanting to be involved controlling and when is it not? What are appropriate boundaries here?

 

The friend’s partner sounds like he need to communicate his needs and desires more tactfully first. I do think the partner has a legitimate grievance with the computer light but he escalated way too quickly, from how it sounds.

As for the question on the bottom of your post, I have no idea and have no such qualifications to answer such a thing.

 

A person's mental health treatment, be it therapy or psychiatry, is their business, alone....nobody else's. If they choose to trust and share, that's also their business. You can't force or demand such a thing.

 

I once asked an old therapist a similar question, Bacon. Her response was to just set my own boundaries and if someone didn't respect them, then just get that person out of my life.

 

I have therapy today. I've been on quite the emotional ride since she last heard from me, so we'll have a lot to talk about. My dvr scholarship was paid out for my tuition, books, and supplies, so I'll get all of that on Monday, and I start classes on the 10th. Lots going on.

 

It sounds like your friend has already decided that it was not okay. Everyone chooses what they will put up with. Sounds like your friend was fed up. Your friend knows themselves and their relationship better than any of us ever could.

I could understand and easily forgive that behavior if someone was so utterly exhausted that sleep was an urgent need. A lack of sleep can affect mood in a very negative way, causing impatience, frustration, and anger. I think we've all yelled TURN OFF THE GODDAMN LIGHT or something similar when we're exhausted and there's an obstacle to sleep. If the partner was not exhausted, then they were just bulldozing. I don't think of this one example as a sign of control issues (there may be other examples I'm unaware of), but a lack of respect, and if the person often responds to conflict with name calling and cursing, then they may be abusing your friend.

Mood altering medication certainly can be a partner's business. Anything that significantly affects a partner is their business. I don't think it's controlling to be concerned for a partner's mental health, their treatments, self-care, or lack thereof. You should care. A partner may disagree, and this may be an irreconcilable difference, or it may not.

Relationships are voluntary, two way streets. The boundaries are wherever one's partner puts them, and also wherever you put them. One can object to a partner getting off meds against doctor's orders, and one's partner can overrule their objection. If a partner's inconsistent adherence to medication results in frequent unacceptable behavior and an untenable relationship, one can choose to end the relationship due to this. One cannot control other people, but neither is one obligated to remain in a relationship with another. Relationships are voluntary.

 

I’m headed to my girl friends parents house - per her request - to tell them I want to propose. Wish me luck.

 

Good luck, JSSD!!

 

I had a partner of five years who went off his medication for anxiety, and it helped lead to the end of our relationship. While I agree that the decision to take medication or not is up to the person, it's certainly also a partner's business to say "I can't be in this relationship when you're unmedicated". Each needs to decide what's most important to them.

 

Therapy was awkward today. It was me answering a lot of questions I've answered several times before. It's not the therapist's fault-it's not anybody's fault. It's a reality though. I'm starting over with somebody new, and it sucks. There were a handful of moments of awkward silence, while I figured out what I wanted to say. I'm sticking with it, but today was hard.

 

The like is for you sticking with it even though it really sucks.

 

UNC offers counseling for students. Definitely going to utilize that. If I can find somebody who will stick with me through school, I'd be overjoyed. Michelle, my new therapist is very 'professional' -'she gives me a 'by the book' kind of vibe, a little rigid and cold. She could be nervous as well; I'm coming to her with really big feelings, from day one. I get how that may be hard. It's hard for me to deal with, and I know myself. She just met me

I don't like questions about how I cope--what 'skills' I use, and those questions are super common in new therapist/client relationships. I cope by simply coping. She is my 10th therapist-I've been through this stage so many times. It's just how it goes with community mental health care. It's where therapists go to get good, and then they leave. There seems to be a fairly high turnover. My therapy situation also has a lot to do with my moving around so much. I started therapy in 2011, it's been a decade. Michelle is therapist ten. I was with Joey for two years, that is the longest therapist/client relationship I've had, and that time period was intense... being homeless, etc, all of that. I am going to explore the UNC option, for sure. My academic advisor sent me information about it. I've also been accepted into the CHE program, which is the center for human enrichment, because I'm a first generation student. There are definitely available resources, and I intend to exolore them.

 

I checked out the page for UNC's counseling department, and I'm going for it. It's definitely worth exploring. I'm totally impressed with their page.

https://www.unco.edu/counseling-center/

 

I hope you can get in soon and that it goes well for you.

 

Had a dream that it was raining and I was Stannis Baratheon and this was all played to the Guts theme from Berserk.

Weird. It would suck to be in as much mental anguish and suffering as Stannis; I think I need to relax because the past few days have been nothing but me stressing out and getting a headache. Haven't done anything to relax for the past 5 days or so.

Gotta distract msyelf.

 

Anxiety and unhappiness has gotten worse in the last couple of weeks, and that's mostly related to work. Dreading the move to Principal (end of February and then five weeks of paid training) and having to go back to what I was doing before, which I despised. I dug up my resume and am going to update it this weekend, and then have a friend look at it next Friday evening. I'll start sending out job applications, but I'm not very hopeful right now.

 

You should definitely look for new jobs. In my experience that switch can be life altering. If you really hate what you'll be doing now it isn't worth it.

 

Just a bit of venting. It's about a really trivial thing, and something that I know shouldn't upset me so much because it is so trivial, but I keep thinking about it so maybe getting it out will help, I don't know.

I used to love reading and writing, but I basically stopped because of mental health, the pandemic, and other issues. Recently I signed up for a writing challenge that I was genuinely excited about. I even wrote a story for the first prompt. But when it came time to post it I had an anxiety attack and now all I can think is the story is terrible, I've lost whatever little writing abilities I used to have, people comment just because they feel sorry for me/they're trying to be nice, not because it's anything worth reading, and I just want to delete everything and give up.

The problem is, that's what I've been doing for almost a year now. I get so anxious I just don't do things, and then not doing them makes me feel more anxious and like even more of a failure. And I'm so tired of that fear winning out all the time and keeping me from doing anything. I'll probably end up deleting the story and dropping out, like I always do, but that hurts to think about. But the thought of pushing through it and continuing the challenge hurts too. I don't know what to do but at least it's not an important decision with real-world consequences, so it doesn't really matter what I decide.

Anyway, if you read all that, thanks for 'listening'. Wishing you all good vibes and lots of strength for whatever battles you're facing. <3

 

This is what I'm currently studying for my human services helping skills class. It totally relates to what I'm looking for in a therapist. I'm not feeling Michelle, my new therapist, so I reached out to the counseling department at school. I have a consultation soon. I have a good feeling things will go well, as long as I am vocal about what I want. Anyway, 100% this is what I am looking for, and what I hope to be, once I'm finished with my education.

"Facilitative conditions—empathy, genuineness, and positive regard. These three therapist qualities, particularly empathy, represent conditions that, if present in the therapist and perceived by the client, contribute a great deal to the development of the relationship

A working alliance—a relationship in which helper and client collaborate and negotiate their work together toward particular goals and outcomes on an ongoing basis. The working alliance is characterized by a cognitive component, in which both parties agree to the goals and tasks of counseling, and by an affective component, or emotional bond between the helper and client, characterized by mutual regard nd trust. Regard for the client involves acceptance and caring; trust includes principled behavior, credibility, and reliability"

 

For extra credit in one of my classes, they are asking students to participate in 5 sessions of therapy with a doctorate student... ****ing sweet, I'm all about therapy, plus extra credit. I wont be able to see Michelle (my current therapist) while I am participating in this, which is fine. She'll understand.

"Greetings Kristie,

Thank you for accepting! You have been selected as one of the student clients for the Spring 2022 Rehabilitation Counseling Practicum and I have placed you in one of the available slots. Your participation is greatly valued!

As a reminder, for ethical reasons set by the Department of Human Services, if you are currently seeing a professional for individual counseling or referred group counseling (i.e. therapist, substance abuse counselor, rehabilitation counselor, etc.) this semester, we ask you to respectfully decline your participation with the counselor-in-training for Spring 2022 Rehabilitation Counseling Practicum. You are allowed to see a professional before and/or after the 5 sessions but not concurrently. If you need further information, explanation, or to verify if your professional counseling is an exception, please do not hesitate to ask.

Upon completion of your 5 sessions, I will notify Dr. O’Hara of your successful completion to have your extra credit applied.

You should receive an email either from me or Professor Darwin Hargrave in the next couple of weeks regarding details about your assigned counselor. If you have any questions or concerns, feel free to reach out at any time. Thank you again!"