Sidious, Snoke and Salacious B Crumb’s Sarcastic and Sassy Situation Saloon (Fanfic Social Thread)

In 2004, I was in such severe abdominal pain that watching my least favorite movie of all time made me weep in appreciation. I decided I was actually really sick based on that and went to the ER. They did painful and invasive tests and even mocked me for my discomfort during the most invasive one. They had me on morphine. After 8 hours, a friend of mine showed up. She happened to work at the hospital as a nurse in a different department and my mom had mentioned me being in the ER. She took one look at my chart and asked if anyone had thought of a kidney infection. Lo and behold, that was the main cause of my problems and I got antibiotics after 8 hours.

On the other hand, I was referred to another doctor for the large ovarian cyst they’d found during all that testing. That doctor said I needed to have it removed ASAP, but referred me to another doctor because my insurance was changing literally two days later. The doctor she referred me to said I was faking my pain for attention and to come back once a month if it felt worse. May-November, I came back, he mocked me for being so uptight and dramatic and suggested I get help because “no one is in pain this long.” November, when he conceded that it had been getting bigger and I was unable to be out of bed for more than a few hours of the day, he scheduled the surgery.

These are the reasons that I literally don’t go to a doctor until I have been incapacitated for a while. I’ve been mocked and gaslit and between that and the doctor who told me that, “if you’re going to insist on being fat, you’ll have to get used to being in pain” when I had sprained my wrist and bruised two ribs, I hate people rendering opinions on my body.

 

[mention]mavjade [/mention]

Evan seems to have one for when in the middle of something too.

[mention]DarthIshtar [/mention] my sister in law Dany has had her pain written off and/or has it blamed on her weight. She’s about five feet and four inches tall and over two hundred pounds but she could pick me up and either bench press me or carry me and I’m about the same height as her and last time I was weighed 223 pounds.

Not going to lie [mention]RK_Striker_JK_5 [/mention] my first thought was that it was his appendix. Even though gallstones are painful at least he didn’t need surgery.



I visited my Nana today and I’m glad that I did. She’s fading fast; the Hospice Nurse is giving her two weeks.

She’s hasn’t eaten anything beyond a spoonful of pudding with her pills for almost two weeks and had to be coaxed into eating something with a pill by my mom, Aunt Rose and the Hospice Nurse. She’s getting water as a liquid and as ice and has a few sips of Pepsi occasionally. She has tremors and mostly spoke one or two word sentences and sometimes repeated repeated a word over and over.

I know that my brother Harley is trying to get a flight out to see her but I don’t know about Kathy, Joyce and Jean. Joyce and Jean might not be able to get time off to see her.

I am at peace.



Edit: I mistakenly said that my Nana has one week left when the Hospice Nurse thinks that she has two weeks left.


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I love my new doctor...a civilian doctor. lol! She thinks I am bit of a hypochondriac but I told her I spent 26 years going to military clinics and hospitals and I was usually just given Motrin and told to go away. Now I have a doctor that will actually run tests. If I am in pain for a while I want to know WHY! She has never gaslit me and I am grateful. After years going to her practice I realized everyone in the building...every doctor, NP, PA, RN, NA and front desk staff were women. I wonder if that is why I have always felt more comfortable there. I don't know.

 

I have yet to get that much luck, but my favorite doctor I’ve been to was a man I saw for congestion and a severe cough. Every doctor I’d seen for respiratory issues has told me to stop coughing to try and get a diagnosis. When I tried to breathe as instructed, I couldn’t stop coughing and I literally just said, “I swear I’m not faking.” He told me that I should cough any time I needed to and he could tell from two breaths that I had pneumonia. Only person to take me seriously without shaming me first.

 

I loved to complain about health care workers until I became a health care worker.

In their defense, they deal with a lot. Even the nicest person on the planet will be irritable when they are in pain and sick. We see people at their worst. Add in a couple stressed out family members in the room and you have a nightmare.

The last couple years have changed me. I watched so many people die. I had a patient tell me some horrifically sad story yesterday and I found myself thinking, 'What should I say, what would a normal human say?!' It was odd that I felt so detached. I said, "I'm sorry that happened to you." It was like I was reading the words from a script.

It's been a long two years.

 

I could never do it. ❤️❤️❤️❤️

 

I'm glad you've found someone you like. When I first went to my OB/GYN I was so excited because I loved her. I've never felt that happy with any other doctor, I just felt like we clicked. I kinda wish she could be my PCP because I have yet to find one of those I like. Before I went to her I was saying I have nothing against male OB/GYNs, but I didn't want one. So of course when I had some issues and had emergency appointments, I got men and then a man delivered my baby. I loved him, he was amazing so no complaints, I just thought it was amusing.

It's okay to have sympathy in words and not totally feel it. When you see people die a lot you have to protect yourself too or it can destroy you. There is of course a line between protecting yourself and being completely callous that might mean it's time for a break. Part of the reason I wanted to get out of bedside for awhile was because I'd lost my will to fight and I'd stopped arguing for things I knew was right. I realized it when I watched a doctor bully an old lady into wearing a bipap and didn't really stand up for her. That's a hill I'd usually die on so it was then I knew something needed to change and it had to be me.

 

Chipping in my own stories, although it's a lot less dramatic.

When I was in year 9 (so 13 years old) I went on school camp and came down with the worst abdominal pain. I could barely walk, I was throwing up - it was bad. Teachers packed me into a car and drove me down to the doctors where I suddenly, miraculously felt better (after throwing up again). Doctor diagnosis was constipation/colic and home sickness, despite my protestations that I'd been going on camps away from my parents since year 4 (so 8 years old) and regularly shuffled between houses. Homesickness was not something I ever had.

Pain came and went from the same spot over the next two years (every couple of months). One night I ended up curled into a foetal position outside the bathroom not talking to anyone. My mum got the doctor down from the next property who took one look at me and diagnosed appendicitis. Cue emergency run to the hospital and, even though the pain receded once again, an appendectomy. Turns out the original doctor misdiagnosed something that could have killed me.

Second one was when I got some sort of infection on my foot when I was a teen. I wasn't a smart teen and I liked running around barefoot outside. This led to all the skin peeling off my feet and then continuing to peel over the next 20+ years. I finally got the right diagnosis last year and it was cleared up in 3 months, after a doctor listened properly and didn't made inane suggestions like - being allergic to water, being allergic to sunlight, needing to keep my feet dry at all times, hormones and "I know your heels crack so badly they bleed and you can't walk, but it isn't that bad. I think we should concentrate on you losing weight".

In contrast to everyone else's stories, all the doctors who incorrectly diagnosed me were female and very much prone to dismissing teenage girls and being hysterical whingers. Doctors who listened were a mixture of both male and female which is nice.

I will say though, that stats show that women are more likely to be misdiagnosed and dismissed which is somewhat terrifying, especially for anything to do with reproduction.

 

I finally finished my long fanfic. It was just short of 150K words.

 

That calls for a celebration!

 

Finishing the fanfic has taken away my two favorite pastimes...writing and also procrastinating when it comes to writing. I have to check out available challenges.

 

1). Congrats.
2). I remember when I had self-control and shorter fanfics. (Me remembering the time I talked about the Skywalkers for 365000 words.)

 

I have no words beyond, "I'm sorry," which sound trite as hell to me.

But congrats on this!

So, turns out my dad did need his gallbladder out. It got taken out Wednesday, I think. He came home Saturday, a LOT better. He's recovering and just... yeah. Were just glad he's all right, now.

 

I felt much better after my surgery. Just remind him to take it easy on the fatty foods. His body can no longer digest fats with the ease he was once accustomed. He can still eat everything he used to...but there may be a penalty associated with some foods now.

 

*knock, knock* Anyone home?

I don't ever recall this thread being this quiet for so long. Where is everyone? Hopefully not sick with COVID. Thankfully I've managed to avoid that fate so far, at least to the best of my knowledge.

Recently, I made a couple changes to my life that have turned out for the better. One, I changed my alarm clock to make me scan the barcode on a can of Monster Energy in the fridge before I can shut it off. That's done wonders for getting me out the door significantly earlier in the morning instead of rolling over and dozing off again. Now I'm getting to work around 7:15am instead of dragging myself in around 8:45am (we have flexible hours so long as we are available during the "core hours" of 9am to 3pm), which allows me to end my work day earlier and have more personal time in the evenings. It's also helping me get to bed earlier.

Two, I discovered Habitica. It's a way to build habits and tackle daily chores and to-do lists in a gamified manner that keeps you accountable. My problem with doing chores and such has always been that I procrastinate on them forever because I have no accountability (I don't want guests, but I digress). With Habitica, I get rewards for completing tasks and get hit by boss attacks if I leave stuff unfinished. It's kinda cheesy, but effective for me so far.

 

Right now I'm mostly at JCC - [Image heavy]A thread for art, and lurking in Lit. Have also begun to spend more time at The Bolter & Chainsword forum and rollspel.nu forum, giving me less time to be here.

In RL I'm trying to work with my Master paper and instead procrastinating.

 

I just landed in Los Angeles for a 4-day trip that includes beach, beach, more beach, an Itzhak Perlman concert, the Getty villa, and more beach. Seriously, I need the beach right now. I’m also doing some hiking.

My depression has been pretty heinous recently, so I haven’t had energy for writing anything fan or original fic.

 

I've been busy moving all my fics to Archive of Our Own. I had forgotten about some of my old Twilight fics.

 

Did I know you wrote twilight or is this tongue-in-cheek?

 

I think the majority of them I wrote as gifts for you.

 

I have no excuse. I just tend to lurk in this thread more than post.

 

I didn’t want to be the one person posting.

 

I never know what to say.

 

Everyone else: my life has changed so much and I’m getting married, graduating, moving to another state, or celebrating a birth of a child.
Me: I have no social life because of the pandemic, my job still sucks, my family hates or ignores me, and I’m too depressed to write. But I’m on vacation at the moment.

I’m still here, though.