JCC Dear Canada

I have seen your wonderful country and it is truly spectacular. Your people are friendly. Your beer is good. Even most of the entertainers you send us are a joy to listen too. Even Celine Dion, most Americans are not big on her but we still enjoy her music and her fighting spirit. But unfortunately, you sent us one of your countrymen that is a problem for us. His name is Ted Cruz. He has succeeded in making us look like total idiots because we can't get our house in order. In fact he has stated all of America doesn't like Obamacare. That could be further from the truth. We just want a functioning gov't and your Canadian patriot has succeeded in screwing our country back to the stone age. So we ask that you take Ted Cruz back. Invite him to a party or something. Anything to get him north of the border. After that we are not letting him back into the country. Please take him back. We don't care what you do with him. Put him in charge of Quebec or some other province. Just please take him back. Listen we will pay you millions of dollars and won't complain if you send another Dave Coliour or another Celine Dion. We will even beat the crap out of the South Park guys for making fun of you.

 

Hell may have just frozen over but, Co - Signed.

 

Why don't you just write the post directly what you want to talk about beez, rather than like a 12 year old judy blume style opening post.

 

Are you trying to ruin Superfudge for everyone, because that's not cool.

Amazing.

 

We'll consider it, but we want Alaska in return.

 

You have Number Five Orange. You don't need Alaska.

 

We don't think you guys could handle seeing Russia from your house.

 

Good one.

Oh, wait, you're serious about the Canada thing?

Why don't you blame Cuba for giving the world Cruz's father, then? Or Delaware, for giving the world Cruz's mother? No, no, it's okay, he's a total Canucklehead, I get it, those four years of his life before he could read and write were real formative on his current political stances. Real formative.

Good one.

 

I can just about see America from my house now. I think I'd rather look at Russia.

 

I can see your mom from my house.

 

Hey, we take your softwood lumber, it's only fair if you take back some of your other trash in exchange.

 

Your mom is a house.

 

Your mom is a hallway.

 

Four years, man. Four years. That's like...four years.

 

Yo mama's so fat, she's Canada.

 

Sorry but we tolerate Shatner. Bad acting and singing included. But Ted Cruz is the only Canadian we don't want at all. We want to give him back to you.

Oh and I think I will write a letter to Canada news channel and ask them to set up a meeting.

 

Stop talking for all of us.

 

Surely I'm not the only one who saw this thread title and thought that beez had been deported - again, am I?

 

....

I know I'm going to hate myself for asking this, but details?

 

Laugh

 

You're out of your ******* mind.

Cheers.

 

Canada you can also take Justin Bieber back too. We don't need anymore ******* drugies.

On another note... MEME TIME!!!

 

Plus, BIEBER. Jesus.

Also; Penguinator, I see you've not met Beeeeeeezelbub?