Discussion The Scribble Pad (Fanfic Writing Discussions)

I think apathy might be a good word for what I'm feeling right now, but I'm not sure. As I've mentioned before, after about a month (more probably) of being in a state of complete brain mush, my muse and my energy, in general, is slowly - OH SO SLOWLY returning. I now have ideas for fics! (thanks to the revival of the mini-games challenge) but none that are like "I GOTTA DROP EVERYTHING AND WRITE THIS IDEA RIGHT NOW". And finding both the mental and physical energy and mental space to write some days is difficult (kinda like what @Findswoman said, some days are just so packed and so fragmented that finding that time and mental clarity to sit down and write is hard).

I've also been getting back into other past-time activities (when I'm not working) - I picked up a sewing project today for the first time since like December, and I was building the last LEGO set I got for Christmas over the weekend. It's not that I don't want to write or can't write due to a lack of ideas, it's just that other things are attracting my interest more right now. Hopefully as spring comes and - knock on wood - things and my brain get back to (relative) normal, I can get back into a bit more of a settled routine of working and other activities during the day, followed by relaxing with Fanfic and watching a branless show in the evening.

 

I will take credit for this, so I could motivate myself.

*gets up*

*yawns*

*sits down again*

Look. After fifteen seconds the apathy is back.

Darn. O_O

 

Thanks for the support, everybody, and I offer my own hugs and good vibes to everyone.

In the words of a true Canadian icon:

 

I am not Canadian, but I definitely appreciate some Red Green.

Also, has anyone tried duct tape? Because I once heard someone say that it fixes everything.

 

I LOVE RED GREEN!

Yeah, today is a perfect example of my muse/writing issues. I want to write and I have ideas, but today has been such a mentally and physically exhausting day that I just curl up in a blanky, watch an episode of something I love, then go to bed. Rest is important too and I'm hopeful that tomorrow will be less crazy that I have the energy to write in the evening.

 

I love Corner Gas. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.

 

Yes, absolutely.
You’re not alone, Devil

I never wrote my epilogue to my Indy story nearly 4 years ago, and I have several unfinished PT-era stories on here.


On Fanfiction.net, I have a couple Harry Potter stories unfinished, and I was developing a Star Wars AU set in medieval Europe left undone.

Even now, I am struggling to decide whether to focus on Chitty Chitty Bang Bang 3, Episode VIII of my sequel trilogy rewrite, or this HP idea called The Scorpion King.


I know what you mean about inspiration. I worry about my story making sense and it stalls my creative process.



Definitely not alone.

 

It's definitely not just you. I've had these exact same issues for years now. I got around it by mostly doing vignettes, short stories, and longer series told through vignettes. My brain just cant commit to a natural story arc thats more than like 5000 words long. And for the most part I was okay with that. Sure I had ideas for longer fics but I got my creative outlet though those vignettes.

But lately, I cant seem to write anything (for fun and pleasure) and there's both a mental and a physical component to this I dont want to get into publicly. It is coming to the point where I might give up fanfic as a past time and focus my leisure time elsewhere... and that's hard to come to terms with. But thats life and sometimes you have to shift focus... but occasionally come back to what once was a large part of your pasttime.

Sorry, I didn't mean to turn this into a "woe is me"/"my situation is worse" but it's something thats been on my mind and that I've been struggling with for awhile.

 

I am sorry to read this. I hope things improve soon.

 

@devilinthedetails that sucks that you're feeling this way about your writing, but if it helps any, you are absolutely not alone in these feelings!

Same here. All the stress and anxiety of this past year has really affected my ability to focus and my attention span in general, but I've never been good at longfics. I typically write oneshots because I just don't have enough ideas and can't follow through for anything longer, but even with those I don't actually finish very many. The only difference is, just because they are unposted oneshots, nobody ever sees them to know about all my abandoned projects.

I also agree with what @Emperor Ferus said, that worrying about whether a story makes sense (as well as, for me personally, whether it's 'good enough', which I KNOW is a completely subjective standard that only I really care about but still struggle to get past) stalls the creative process. It's easier to procrastinate by spending ages fiddling with a couple of lines trying to make them 'perfect' than to actually sit there and just write the story. And, it is definitely a valuable and enjoyable part of writing to fine-tune our stories and make them as good as they can be. But I think sometimes it just becomes an excuse to not write the story, because there's always something that can be done 'better'.

And after all that rambling I don't really have any advice to offer, but I just want to repeat that you're not alone in your feelings. And as a reader, I look forward to the things you are able to write and share, no matter how long the writing process may take!

I've been there, and it is a difficult thing to go through. It's always hard when interests shift or change, but I think it's particularly hard with fanfic because (speaking for myself of course) there's so much emotional attachment and investment involved.

I've also found, though, that it never entirely goes away. As The Boss puts it:

Regarding fandom and fanfic specifically, maybe it's stupid, but when real life is so chaotic and uncertain (and I'm not just talking about 2020), it's comforting to realize that the characters and stories we love will always be there, whether we want to spend a lot of time with them or just drop in for an occasional visit.

 

@devilinthedetails ... I like to think of it as a possible transition as an author. I've always done short stories and found longer works easier to do in collaboration. Lately, though, I find myself inspired and drawn to do one-shots using the MMM or OTP prompts, or the mini-games. I even would hesitate to do the UDC challenge. Even though I can do a year-long DDC, the posts are short enough.

Your one-shots are marvelous and insightful, and as for your longer stuff, they resonate with me big time, especially Cold Harvest. Hopefully as RL gets back to something close to normal, things can pick up again in terms of your mental/physical energy. And with new users coming along on the boards for them it won't be a long delay.

I know what you mean about highway construction; where I live I don't think they even have a finish date for the project and when I ride on it, it still is rough.

 

devilinthedetails I know where you're coming from.

During this pandemic with staying away from the public and keeping inside my home, you would think it would be a writer's dream. All that time just writing. Not true! It's almost like there's too much thought going on. Plus, with me still being caretaker for my stroke-ridden mom, I can't find long spaces of time to write anyway.

In my case, I have a few large epic stories. I almost didn't finish one. It took a year or so to pick it back up and finally finish it. I only have one more long epic in Star Wars that I haven't finished. One of the problems I have with it is that I started it right after TLJ and I anticipated where the story would go from there. Lo and behold, I didn't finish it in time when ROS came out and ruined my speculation. What's more is that I'm getting almost zero feedback (I know, cry me a river) so I don't know if it's worth it to finish it. I came up with a great title (What You Have Learned) and I finally wrote a famous character for the first time in my fanfics. (Do you really think I'm going to tell you who?)

Funny thing about stories that authors write. It's the same concept as what Lucas said about directing. A writer is never finished with a story. I have been reposting some of my epics that were completed before the move to this site and the chapters are chopped off. I have been revising them as I go. Proves my point that any writer can go back to their older works and still revise them. Yes, writers and artists are perfectionists. They are also procrastinators. I have won many awards in Procrastination, but I haven't picked them up yet. Maybe tomorrow.

Like you, devilinthedetails, I have lost my focus for multi chaptered stories. Lately, I have been sticking to the one-shots. It's like our muse is just tuckered out and tells us, "Eh, sorry, can't go that long anymore." Writing can be a fickle friend. The point is just to allow the spaces of lack of inspiration to flow until that inspiration floods back in. And it will flood. When you least expect it.

Carry on!

 

I have something to add, but it can wait until after work... in short? No, @devilinthedetails , you are not alone. Really not.

 

I had to go indulge, finally, the poem plot bunnies (I'm me, it was going to happen eventually), and I'm someone who normally keeps to PM about the personal stuff rather than posting it to public thread. Sometimes, the funny stuff might get posted in the "you know you're a fic writer when" thread... IS the fact that I had to write something traumatic while listening to the Here's Your Sign guy hilarious? Yes.

Being serious now, as this is the thread for that... what I was going to add was that I took an accidental (kind of purpose but really not) vacation from fanfiction where I got severely stuck and stayed there due to all sorts of stress and not plugging my new desk lamp in for more than a year. (When I finally did, I guess I was ready to. What does the desk lamp have to do with anything? Looking at a computer screen without a backlight behind it is hard. I'd try to write and couldn't.) What were the stressors? An uncle died after a stint with Pancreatic Cancer, we had more than one fire crisis out here (Two of them made my author's notes attempts for Sometime This Century), a parent needed a pacemaker (she's fine)... and THEN we had pandemic, and I've worked in a doctor's office since 2007. This is my second pandemic in that office... and I've not had a cold or the flu since December 2019 or January 2020. Normally, because I do work in a doctor's office, I catch colds frequently. So... yeah. Stress beyond the telling of it, and I was playing the Sims 4 instead of writing. I'm admitting to that, because I never tried to hide it, and someone on the You Know You're a Fic Writer thread was all "I see those sims references!" Um... yes? Was very stuck and staying there.

And... **points down to sig** Right when I started to finally on purpose get myself unstuck for real (before, I might add, plugging my new desk lamp that I've had for a year in... laugh, someone should), we lost a fic writer suddenly. It's still in my sig on line two, just grayed out, without the roses. If no one yet knew before, BrightFeather, who was one of ours, though she hadn't actually been to the boards since 2012, died very suddenly on 3/20/21. As in, she posted to her FB account on 3/19 and NOTHING on 3/20 and she was in the habit of posting often, all day long. I found out on 3/24 while scrolling down the wall while wondering what didn't look right, and suddenly The Friends of Lois and Clark were posting her obituary and giving me the answer, and... seriously, there is no good way to find something like that out.

Not sure if this helps at all, but... I've got long stories going, but I excel at short. I love short. (I might also STILL be a bit scrambled, but less so than last week.)

 

You have my sympathy for all the stuff that Darth Real Life decided to dump on you, and even though we haven't interacted a ton, it's nice to see you back on the boards.

(I seem to recall an MCU fic of yours in the NSWFF board that I was following with great interest, but now I can't remember the name of it. Which stinks, because having thought of it, now I want to read it again.)

EDIT: Never mind. I found it.

 

I'm glad someone is enjoying the story that kills ink pens. (Which is true. For a while there, it was a running gag of "Oh, I killed another one.")

And... don't let me be the one to stop all discussion, all. We all have life issues and drama... sometimes it might be a parent that forgot to schedule a thing and suddenly thing is Friday and wants you to go with in the middle of a work day, and sometimes it's a wall of text that just comes pouring out when talk one finally does. Honesty is good for the soul, and it's better NOT to be scrambled all to heck over fixable problems or things one can not solve.
Also... **waves to MadMan, pronker, amidalachick, and devilinthedetails**

 

@DaenaBenjen42 I'm so sorry to hear about BrightFeather and everything else you've been through. DRL is a nasty thing. I'm glad you're back and able to write again at least.

I wanted to bring up something I've noticed because as usual I've been overthinking about it, and I was curious if this happens to anyone else.

I seem to go through cycles where for two or three weeks I can come up with ideas, write (usually chaotic first drafts that don't go anywhere but that's besides the point ), do some reading, and just be generally excited and involved in fandom stuff. Then it's like a switch flips and I stop reading/writing/interacting. Trying to edit anything sometimes leaves me in tears because all I see is awfulness and I can't get past that. I try to come up with new ideas and there's nothing. I stop reading because I can't concentrate and I'm not in the headspace to leave any sort of comment and I feel so guilty about 'reading without acknowledging' (which is a whole other topic but, again, not the point of this post haha).

Occasionally the 'downslope' is tied to hormones (without going into too much detail, PMS is pure evil) but usually there's no specific cause that I can figure out. It's not dependent on how bad or less bad real life is at the time. It's not character- or fandom-specific (example: a few weeks ago I was super-excited to work on a Star Wars fic for the first time in ages and now I can't even stand to look at the document). It's not purely physical or purely mental (in the 'excited' phase I can stay up and write until I literally can't keep my eyes open, but in the 'downslope' I can be wide awake and unable to write a sentence). It just...is.

Anyway, if anyone actually read all that, sorry for all the rambling. I really am just curious if this is a thing anyone else has noticed with their writing or if I'm just losing whatever grip on sanity I have left.

 

@amidalachick I go through something similar; I go through depressive cycles every two to three months where I get into funk where it feels like everything I write, draw and do sucks and I just suck in general. And yes, editing is painful, because my stuff sucks so much and reading is painful because everyone else's stories are so much better than mine. This can last anywhere from a couple days to a couple weeks, and I haven't found any consistent way to "snap myself out of it". Logically, I know it's a phase and it too shall pass, but while I'm in the midst of it, it feels like I'm at the bottom of a well. I don't have any words of wisdom, but I do sympathize. Hang in there

At the moment, I'm struggling with finding the right frame of mind to write. Things with real life are not great and I'm angry and frustrated a lot. It's not conducive to writing cute YA romance I wind up wasting time playing Candy Crush or taking my frustrations out on Nightbrothers and giant spiders in Fallen Order (on a totally tangential note, Dathomir is a real pit in the game, not nearly as nice as it sounds in @Anedon and @Adalia-Durron 's stories)

 

Have lost all motivation in the last couple of days. I just feel overwhelmed with everything that I have to do. Doesn't help that I'm sick too, but the mojo has gone (for the moment).

I think if I just ignore everything and try and get the longer fics and abandoned stuff done then it might help. It's just that the challenges on this board are so much fun...

 

I want to join the "right now everything I write feels like crap" club please.

Last week I was bitten by a positively rabid plot bunny. Rabid, I'm telling you. And it's occupying all of my headspace, even though I'm trying to finish at least some of the neglected stories I have on the boards, so it's throwing me off-track. But hey, at least you'd think a rabid plot bunny would get the writing to flow, right? Well, no. I have the story ready to go in my head, but when I try to sit and write the words are just not coming, and what I write is ABSOLUTE GARBAGE (yes, I'm shouting here). I know exactly what I want that story to be, but I can't put it in words.

It's so, so frustrating. I blame the pandemic. [/rant]

 

I am somehow in both the "I have no ideas and no motivation" camp and the "everything I write is garbage and not worth the energy" camp. And have been for several months.

At work I am just so stressed and overwhelmed, that once I'm off, I just dont have the brain space or the physical energy to work.

But this long weekend I finally had both things one evening to sit down and work on an old, stupid vignette (I just really wanted to write!) and I actually had so much fun, unfortunately, all the ideas I have to continue the plot are just garbage.

I think I need a random prompt to just inspire something totally new.

 

Just a moment, my friend, as I reach into the metaphorical hat and retrieve from it a random prompt of randomness.......

And your random prompt is: A Jedi, a loth-cat, and a garbage can.