JCC 2021 Wattos

We few, we happy few, we band of whompers;
For he to-day that whomps his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so crabby,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in JCC now a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs'd they did not vote,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That whomped with us upon Saint Watto's day.

 

...are we seriously doing this? Adding in an option that lost?

I mean it's better than the crab but still...

 

Whomp Seal has the support of the people, Comrade.

 

Well, you're not.

 

Correct. I'm staying with the elephant provided there can be a push for it

 

Terrible. Just terrible.

**** Whomp Seal. The only good Seal is one singing "Kissed By A Rose."

 

You can tell Henry V is a middle play because that speech only has one sex joke.

 

But that's the beauty of Slide Elephant...she (or he?) NEEDS NO PUSH!

 

A Whomp Seal walks into a club...

BAM

Fur coat.

 

lol, just realized that this was me above:

 

The fraudulence of the whole situation is a major selling point to me.

 

We'll whomp 'em back into the stone age.

 

It's fraudulent AND it's a great underdog story.

 

I dunno why you felt the need to point out it was an underdog story twice.

 

That, too, is fraudulent: you quoting me did the second instance of pointing out

 

Yes, it's all very meta. Whompin' people over the head with layers.

 

For the moment, I have voted for Slide Elephant, but I really enjoy the passion of the Whomp Seal hard-core fan base. Whomp Seal should probably win just on the basis of @Sarge's musical and literary tributes alone!

 

I already have a headache, thank you... x)

 

What we're really after is the four-hour version that's rumored to exist.

 

Three whomps for the slide elephants on their muddy hills
Seven for the Stabby crabs and their long knives
Nine for the duck off cats, doomed to kick
One for the Seal lord on his Seal throne
One whomp to rule them all, one whomp to find them
One whomp to bring them all, and in the wattos bind them
In the land of Whompdor, where the Shadows lie

 

Go ahead and slide your elephant
Go ahead and kick a duck
Do it in the name of Watto
You can vote for it in the end
There won't be any crabby stabbing
Come the judgment day
On the bloody morning after
One tin Whomp Seal rides away

 

Slay the competition Stabby Crabby!

 

Were the Whomp Seal supporters so scared that they shut down the boards?