Arena A Basketball Draft Tournament.

LET'S GOOOOO



(yeah I know I'm using Laker Bron whatevvverrrr)

PG: Bledsoe (38), Rudy Gay Man (10), Lowry (0)
SG: Rudy Gay Man (28), Montrezl (15), Lowry (10), Vinsanity (0)
SF: LeBron (40), Montrezl (8), D-Favors (0)
PF: Chuck (40), D-Favors (8), Montrezl (0), DeAndre (0)
C: Shaq (40), DeAndre (8), D-Favors (0)

Also can we please re-seed after the round so if a Warriors team squeaks by I have a chance to face them too thx good day

 

You just need to make the finals from your side of the bracket and hope that the warriors also make it to the finals on theirs.

 

Well ****

I'll spot them a 3-1 lead if it happens though

 

Wait I didn't separate those correctly in the post. Maybe you could meet them sooner. I haven't looked at which side which is on yet.

 

This is why bracketology is a 6-figure job at ESPN

 

Well, ****. I'm glad the Lake Show made the cut, but you're gonna make me beat them?! Cruel and unusual...

PG - Devin Booker (30 min) / D'Angelo Russell (12 min) / Derrick Rose (6 min)
SG - Dwyane Wade (38 min) / Danny Green (10 min)
SF - Giannis Antetokounmpo (38 min) / Doug McDermott (10 min)
PF - Anthony Davis (38 min) / Karl-Anthony Towns (10 min)
C - David Robinson (38 min) / Karl-Anthony Towns (10 min)

 

Congrats on your series win, @tom

Active Roster:

Nikola Jokić (Denver, 2018-19)
Larry Bird (Boston, 1984-85)
Luka Doncic (Dallas, 2018-19)
Marc Gasol (Memphis, 2018-19)
Dirk Nowitzki (Dallas, 2005-06)
Bojan Bogdanovic (Indiana, 2018-19)
Trae Young (Atlanta, 2018-19)
The First Cedi (Cleveland, 2018-19)
Collin Sexton (Cleveland, 2018-19)
Jamal Murray (Denver, 2018-19)
Jerami Grant (Oklahoma City, 2018-19)
D'Aaron Fox (Sacramento, 2018-19)

Inactive Roster:

Larry Nance (Cleveland, 1991-92)
Larry Nance (Cleveland, 2018-19)
J R Smith (Cleveland, 2015-16)

PG: Young (25) / Jokic (8) / Bogdanvoic 15 / Osman (0)
SG: Murray (20) / Sexton (20) / Osman (4) / Young (4)
SF: Bird (44) / Grant (4)
PF: Dirk (40) / Gasol (8)
C: Jokic (40) / Gasol (8)

 

Sorry about all the delays. What a time to be alive.

also I don’t have everyone’s minutes so I’m just gonna use last known unless you get them in before then. Which could be like another day, I dunno.

 

It's game 1 for the top Seeded Tragic Bronsons against the Linsanity Knicks, whose depth chart I had to edit just to include Lin in the minutes, which I would not normally do. Will that tip the balance? Will anyone be able to stop Jeremy? Let's find out but I mean don't hold your breath or anything, it's the Knicks.

Vucevic won the tip, and the 1st quarter progressed normally. Durant got fouled, he made his shots. Lin got fouled, he missed his. Rebound Vooch. Kobe Scores. Landry Fields misses. Carmelo Misses twice. Chandler misses. Yadda yadda yadda. The quarter ends. It is 23-16 Bronsons. All is right. But there's something in the air. Something strange. Despite missing, like, a lot of their shots, the Knicks are in the heads of the Bronsons, like a beating heart in the floorboards. During one run, Harris turned it over, followed by Kobe getting his pocket picked, followed by Kemba losing it. Then Durant couldn't connect from deep. And then neither could Kobe. The ball is stolen again. Kobe's dunk clanks off the iron. Kevin Durant is denied by Tyson Chandler. The Bronsons lead by 7, but they are mesmerized. Their quarter is sloppy, but the Knicks can't capitalize.

Until they can.

Second quarter. The Bronsons shake it off, but so do the Knicks. The teams combine for 65 points, but the Tragedy are outscored by 5. Novak opens with a 3 off an assist from Carmelo ****ing Anthony. What the hell is happening. Oladipo loses it to Novak. Lin with an assist. CJ, missing, rebound Melo. Fields hits the 3. Another Lin assist. And another. Something claws at the back of the Bronsons' minds. A lurking void at the edges of their vision. They snap back to reality as the halftime buzzer stirs their consciousness. They lead by 2.

The third quarter. Lin, scoring. Lin, assisting. Lin, leading. Now It is tied at 63. It has been one minute and 31 seconds since anyone has scored. Now there are 5 lead changes. Now the lead is 3. Now it is 8. There are 51 minutes left in the third quarter. There is 1 second. Durant hits the jumper. There is no third quarter. Knicks lead by 3.

10:22 left in the 4th. The fog lifts for a moment from Kobe's mind. Kemba has scored off his assist. They lead by 1. The universe makes sense. Jeremy Lin assists. All is fog again. Vucevic scores. The Bronsons gasp for air like a drowning swimmer, they clasp for their sanity, but they cannot find it. There is only Lin. 9:11 seconds. It is a tie game. Time has stopped. The moment stretches to infinity. The moment is all moments. The ball hangs suspended in the air. No one is breathing. Bryant for 3. It is good. They trail by 2. It is bad. The sea rises. 3 points. 6 points. 1 point. There has always been 4:38 left in the quarter. Jeremy Lin has always missed on the 3. Knicks trail by 1. The game is tied, Jeremy Lin. The Knicks lead, Jeremy Lin. The faces in the crowd, Jeremy Lin. There are no seconds on the clock. Bronsons trail by a single Jeremy Lin. They have always trailed.

Jeremy Lin 107 - 103 The tragedy of Bronson

Player of the game, brought to you by the great old ones: Tyson Chandler

 

Wow. They found a way. Linsane.

 

After the game (or was it before the game?) Kobe flashes back (flashes forward?) to this interview.



When was this? And why? Is it possible he had never even left this moment? This interview? Or had it even happened at all? The interview stretches on through eternity and snaps back into nothingness. This process repeats infinitely and Jeremy Lin is all he can see, all he can hear. Smell. Taste. Was he ever Kobe Bryant? Has he always been Jeremy Lin?

Kobe screams.

 

(sharing this mostly b/c I avoided the Luke/Baby Yoda dream team that would've karmically destroyed me for it)

 

Also: it me!

 

I must once again ask the field how the **** you let this man get Iannis, AD, AND Big KAT. I am just baffled. Anyway, let's get into it.

Flavor Town. La La Land. Game 1.

Johnson was good. 7/11. Perfect at the line. Pulled down 7, put up 18, dished it 5 times, and added a block and a steal. A little bit of magic can go a long way, but as Arthur Clarke used to say, any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic. And Triple D is, among other things, perfectly engineered to play basketball.

Guy's guys outscored the Lakers in the first by 7 points. They liked that so much they did it again in the second. Then, just to change it up a little, out scored them by 8 in the second half quarters.

Pick a stat. They did it better. The Lakers shot a respectable 46%. Flavor Town shot 60%. The Lakers were 15/21 from the line. The Guys were 16/19. They even had one less turnover, just to toy with them.

The big men dominated. The ADmiral combined for 7 blocks and 12 assists. AD, the only player in the game with a double double, got 14 boards, including 5 orebs. He added 8 assists, 4 blocks, and 2 steals on the way to player of the game honors. The Greek led everyone with 20 points on 10/16.

Forget it, Magic, it's Flavor Town, 121-91

 

How does Draymond keep worming his way into the games? When nuts need kicking, I'll put him in the damn lineup. Otherwise, he shouldn't even be suiting up. I need to have a chat with Guy.

 

I think it will override minutes in garbage time if the game is in hand. I dunno, they did an entire platoon swap with 4 minutes left up 27, but it also might be a response to the opposition switching to 3-point offense. Who can say.

 

Well if it's anything like the baseball sim, what probably happened there is that nothing at all makes sense and Pointy will win.

 

OF COURSE I'd get stuck recapping @dp4m's, when I joined this game primarily so he wouldn't have a spot.


Game 1: #12 1982-83 Sixers @ #5 NBA ASSers, Probably some arena that allows him to cheat

In a battle of the NBA's Best 70's Player vs. Best Early 80's Player, we got a clinic from the one famous for changing his name-- Kareem aka Lew.

"I'm neither of those dudes," said the 7-footer I mistook for Kareem in the locker room. "I'm Roger Murdock. Please leave me alone."

The championship Sixers would keep it relatively close in the first half, 63-54, as the centers would go back-and-forth in every major statistical category-- boards, rebounds, and blocks.

"Facebook keeps blocking the posts I make," said the ASSers' Kyrie Irving, completely unprompted.

But in the second half Kareem would get some help from DeMar Derozen, who despite coming off the bench would put up a stellar 21-8-5 line to play second fiddle.

The ASSers would take a commanding 96-77 lead into the 4th...where either Kareem or Derozen would score all of their points before garbage time, slamming the door on the hopes of a comeback.

Mike Conley would add 9 assists in only 13 min, b/c Go Bucks.

Player of the Game, brought to you by Who Let dp Play This, Seriously: Kareem Abdul-Jabbar
Final: ASSers 118, '83 Sixers 91

 

1993-94 seattle supersonics @ purple reign GAME 1

we kicked things off at williams arena. for three quarters the sonics hung right there with the reign. sam perkins hit two threes, gary payton dropped 14 and 8, and shawn kemp littered the statsheet. over the course of those three quarters the sonics actually outscored the reign by two points.

unfortunately for the team from seattle, those three quarters were the 2nd, 3rd and 4th. doubly unfortunate was what happened in the 1st.

49 seconds into the game james harden hit a three pointer that would prove to put the reign ahead for good, as they never trailed in this one. they came out of the gates on fire, and playing stifling defense. a kevin garnett dunk on a dish from harden at the 6:47 mark made it 10-2 reign. they piled a 10-4 run on top of that and a kawhi leonard 3 with 4:46 left in the period made it 20-6. the rest of the quarter played out much the same way. harden, leonard and garnett scored all but 10 of their points in the period and at the end of one the reign had ran out to what would prove to be an insurmountable 36-16 lead.

the sonics will gain some measure of confidence from their play in the final three quarters, but they could never make it close in this one as they fell 112-94. garnett scored 17 for the game and grabbed 16 boards, while kawhi added 19 and 12 and harden provided 23 points, 5 boards and 6 dimes.

player of the game, brought to you by partying like it's 1999: kevin garnett

final: reign 112, sonics 94

reign lead the series 1-0.

 

Two human opponents? Is that correct? Did I do this right?

Splash Kids vs Euro Disney. Game 1.

23-6. That was the run to open the first half of the fourth quarter. Suddenly, after leading for 3 quarters, the Kids had blown an 8 point lead, and found themselves trailing with just 5 minutes to go. That spree was a continuation of a run that sparked in the latter part of the third, when the Vacationers trailed by as many as 15, and the score was 55-70. It was a remarkable 12 minutes, which saw a 38-14 point differential, to set up Believeland to cruise for a first game victory.

Maybe it was determination, or maybe it was the memory of blowing a 3-1 lead in the finals, but the Kids dug deep, and came to life off a 3 point shot drained by Damian in the corner to cut the lead to 6, and stopped the bleeding. Artis got involved after that, pulling down a Bird miss, and then casually swatting away a floater from Trae. He would then hit Damian with a no-looker for the assist. Some back and forth later, Dirk missed one of his FTs, and Steph hit the dagger, tying the game with 1:45 left.

The score stuck tied, and with no time on the clock, Jamaal's foul line shot was once again tipped away by Gilmore. Overtime came and went, and the Kids had a final possession, down by 2. Haywood, who had the ball after grabbing a bad miss by Bird, drove it up the court, but missed as time expired.

All kids out of the pool, Believeland wins away, 108-106

Player of the game, brought to you by Adult Swim: Nikola Jokic (30/15/8)

The Kids front court duo combined for 35 rebounds, but couldn't capitalize, shooting just 43% ftf and 37% bta. They didn't do fantastic at the line, either.

 

spencer haywood, 6-24 with no free throw attempts. what the hell. but as long as all the games are that good i will be satisfied.

 

Curry, Thompson, Gilmore, and Siakam on the floor, and the last shot is taken by Spencer Haywood. God bless the sim.

 

Haywood at the buzzer:

 

oh btw, whenever you post your minutes I can keep simming. If you want me to do the whole series without changes, I can do that too. They're just computers afterall.