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Before - Legends A Change of Plans--An O/Q Short Story--COMPLETED 6.4

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LuvEwan, Apr 30, 2004.

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  1. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Yes! You did have more here than at ff.n Although I will more than likely be following this fic there, I just had to pop over here and find out how poor Obi-Wan was doing :)

    I've blathered on in my ff.n review and in the PM about how much I like this - and your writing in general so I wont bore you with more of that ;)

    I just loved this line. It was so tender and sweet and showed in just a few simple words the love that Qui has for his apprentice.

    ?You shouldn?t put me through things like this, Little One.? With a fingertip, he grazed the dimple in the round chin. ?I?m an old man. My heart can?t take it anymore.?

    Oh, that was so good. Keep up the good work, and please don't forget to update at ff.n :D

    --shan
     
  2. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    PK [face_laugh] Probably.

    o_e You and your bunny! I'm gonna start calling you 'Bugs' for short. 8-}

    Kynstar Poor everyone! Yeah, that pretty much sums it up. :(

    diane Thank you so much! [face_love]

    jm2 [face_laugh]

    Opal [face_blush]

    jeday Thank you! :)

    Shaindl I'm actually looking forward to writing something on the fluffier side. How about 'Obi-Wan and his Pet Cloud?' [face_laugh]

    shanobi I hope you got my other PM, and thanks so much for your flattering reviews. [face_love]



    ^^^ () ^^^

    When Qui-Gon Jinn was a first year apprentice, he fell from a high branch and broke his leg. Because he had sneaked away from the main group at the Jedi retreat, he was not discovered for several excruciating hours.

    For a long while, the Master had considered that to be the single most painful experience of his life.

    He had never hoped for another situation to rival it.

    But on Eume?Li, that thought was obliterated. Obi-Wan?s every wave of discomfort was felt through their connection. The Force was being increasingly unkind to them on this dreadful mission, for although he could not relieve his apprentice through it, he could sense the effects of Obi-Wan?s mysterious ailment through its powerful channels.

    He would gladly have switched positions with his Padawan in an instant. But such options were not open to him, and he could spare no more time to lament that frustrating fact.

    Knight Tirr had offered his own Force strength to bolster his Jedi comrade, but it was all for naught. Their joint efforts were deflected like bolts off a saber.

    ?This is infuriating as hell.? The heated man hissed, when he could hold back no longer.

    Qui-Gon flicked his eyes over at Ullo, but said nothing.

    Ullo looked down. ?I?m sorry if I?m stating the obvious. But we?re not exactly able to meditate on this, are we??

    Obi-Wan gave a muffled cry and Qui-Gon flinched. He ran a hand down the tense back. ?No.? He whispered in response, his brow furrowed. ?There?s nothing we?re able to do.?

    Ullo felt a sharp pang rush viscerally through his chest. ?That?s not entirely true.? He smiled. ?You?re doing more than anyone else could.?

    ?A proper physician could do a hell of a lot more.? Qui-Gon mumbled.

    ?But a physician couldn?t do that.? He motioned at the calming techniques the Master was using to quiet his charge. ?Not even the troll could do what you do.?

    A half-smile cracked Qui-Gon?s stony exterior, quickly erased. ?And yet it accomplishes so little. He remains in full exposure of the pain.?

    ?Do you expect to be a perfect, miniature god, with miraculous healing powers??

    Qui-Gon appeared almost offended by the incredulous inquiry. ?I need to be. For him.?

    Ullo glanced away, wetting his chapped lips.

    ?Does that scare you??

    He turned to the Master. ?What??

    Qui-Gon?s eyes were unmoving, harsh jewels awash with melted ice. ?Does that scare you?? He repeated, slower.

    The Knight?s smile was born of confusion. ?Why would it scare me??

    ?Because. You?re not convinced you shouldn?t be a Master. It would take more than a little vomit to secure a decision like that.?

    ?You?re seeing what isn?t there, Master Jinn.? Ullo retorted, adopting an assertive tone. Since when did a near stranger know better his intimate, inner beliefs than he did? ?Just because you?re a renowned Jedi doesn?t mean your opinion is indisputable. I know, without a shadow of a doubt, that I?m not built to be a Master. It isn?t in my makeup.?

    Qui-Gon?s laugh was edging on acrid. ?So you blame it on genetics.?

    ?NO. I don?t blame it on anything. I just know I don?t belong in that section of the Order. I don?t have those instincts.?

    ?And yet you covered the ground with your cloak for Obi-Wan before I could even remove my own. No one asked you to do that.?

    ?That was a common courtesy, plain and simple. You don?t have to think about something like that.?

    ?You know what word would fit that description??
     
  3. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Woo-hoo! You tell him Qui! hehehe soooo our Master Tirr doesn't wanna face the fact that he *could* be that way? hehehe

    Great post LE I like this one even better!! :D you're juz warming us up for even more!! Great work! :D Hope it gets the Master a thinkin'! hehe
     
  4. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Gosh, L_E. That one made me sniffle. [face_love]
     
  5. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Your really on a roll tonight LE. Great job!
     
  6. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Could you imagine someone saying such things to Qui when he was refusing Obi-Wan? More than just a few heads would have been bitten off me thinks :D I think Ullo will look at things very differently once he gets some distance. When he's ready, and finds the right person I'm sure he'll step up and take his place amongst the ranks of masters. Qui is setting such a good example for him. :) Great writing as usual. Qui shows his love for his padawan in the little things he says and does. So very sweet without being overly sappy. Not always an easy task.

    --shan
     
  7. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Shan said it wonderfully. The last post of this story, LE, better be Tirr taking an apprentice, or I think you're going to have a rabid horde of fans descending on you to beat you up. :p

    Great job, LE!

    Shaindl
     
  8. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    I was gonna be a meanie and not post this until tomorrow, but you guys have been so helpful I decided I would go ahead and post some more. ;)

    Kynstar I think maybe this could possibly maybe perhaps have the tiniest, itty-bittiest effect on Ullo. I think. 8-}

    Opal Aw. [face_blush]

    PK Thanks. :) Well, I have little else to do, and school's nearly over (forever!) so I devote hours to this. Yes, I'm a geek. And proud of it. 8-}

    shan Thank you so, so much. [face_love]

    Shaindl Eh, I think I could you lot. 8-}

    ^^^ () ^^^

    Obi-Wan didn?t know where he was.

    He had been safe, within the gentle confines of his teacher?s arms. But gradually, without his notice, the Padawan had drifted from that shelter, into the open seas of unusual consciousness.

    Around him, trees drooped, willowy branches weighted down with muck and tar. Yet, these trees were not of the tropical variety that would populate a jungle. They were relatively young, with thin, pale trunks.

    Above him, the sky was a dismal mesh of gray and black. As he inspected it closer, peering up with eyes not located externally, that dark sky began to vibrate.

    Obi-Wan?s breath was trapped in his throat. Insects? Yes, insects crowded the heavens. A collective buzz seeped into his thoughts and he shuddered. The louder the din grew, the more intense the pain, the lower the branches sank.

    The first, bleached fingers of panic stretched out toward him, and Obi-Wan turned away from the huge clot of antennae, black bodies and translucent wings. But the water beneath the apprentice was now a mirror reflection of the sky.

    And he could not escape the crawling pit.

    ^^^ () ^^^

    A sharp inhale jolted both Jedi from their inner dialogues.

    Obi-Wan gasped for air, an arm flailing, fingers entangling with Qui-Gon?s hair.

    ?Obi-Wan!? The wide-eyed Master sought to control the mindless, spasm-like movements. Already a ragged laceration was cut across his cheek.

    Ullo stood at his side, unsure what to do, focus glued to the white face. A strong curse slipped through his lips.

    Qui-Gon wasn?t so stricken. He placed Obi-Wan on the ground and held his hand steady over the hot forehead. With his other hand he covered Obi-Wan?s heaving chest, in the place where the heart lay beneath. His voice was not strangled with fear. He spoke as though they were engaged in a casual conversation. ?Padawan, wake up.?

    Tirr took a tentative step forward. ?Qui-Gon, it looks like-?

    ?He can breathe.? He replied knowingly. ?He?s caught in a dream.? But, despite his confidence, Qui-Gon gazed down at his protégé with ever-multiplying concern. ?Obi-Wan, you?re alright. Wake up and see.?

    For a score of minutes, neither of the men uttered a syllable. For although the Padawan could indeed breathe, they currently did not share that ability.

    When red-washed blue peeked out from swollen eyelids, Qui-Gon was the first to react, pulling Obi-Wan from the grit and brush, supporting him with an arm around his shoulders.

    Ullo discovered that he was grinning like a moron. And he isn?t even my friggin? apprentice! He wiped at his eyes, then crouched down beside the pair.

    Qui-Gon brushed the debris from Obi-Wan?s face and cupped his hot, flushed cheek. ?Obi-Wan??

    The youth blinked twice. The touch of his Master?s rough fingers still hurt beyond belief, but Obi-Wan decided, without a large amount of thought, that he would rather tolerate that pain than be apart from the man. He had learned at an early age that sometimes human contact was the most effective remedy, which had been proven countless times since.

    This would be the most trying test yet, Obi-Wan noted miserably.

    ?Obi-Wan, can you tell me what happened??

    The Padawan met the eyes of his mentor. He refused to cringe at the bleakness he read there. ?Remember?when I said the mission was in trouble??

    ?Yes.?

    ?I,? Obi-Wan squirmed as the pain jolted through him, ?I think I was mistaken.?

    Tenderly, he was rested against the
     
  9. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 3, 2004
    Another great post!!! You truly have a gift with words!
     
  10. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    :eek: What the blazes did that mean?! Please don't kill Obi! :_| And call me whatever you want as long as you call me when that OC fic is up! :D
     
  11. BlueJedi

    BlueJedi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 25, 2002
    so goood.....

    you are a supurb writer LE

    can't wait for more....

     
  12. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Ahhhh heartbreaking!!! *SNIFF!* The two together juz breaks my heart! Feel the love!!!

    ?Don?t argue with him, Qui-Gon. The Force has been so distant, but you can feel the truth in what Obi-Wan says. I can feel it, too. I don?t want to, but I do.? He compressed his lips. ?You said you have to be miraculous for your apprentice.

    ?Were you lying??

    Qui-Gon?s eyes narrowed. ?Of course not.? He ground out.

    ?Then do what needs to be done. That includes accepting that Obi-Wan?s in great danger here.

    ?Greater than we thought.? Ullo added quietly.

    Qui-Gon took a shaky breath, looking down. A shaft of severe sadness crossed over the craggy surface of his visage. His eyes squeezed shut. Then he rested his forehead against Obi-Wan?s.

    ?You must hold on for me, Padawan. Don?t allow your attention to waver from that.?

    ?Yes, Master.? Obi-Wan leaned in. ?I won?t, Master.?


    Those lines juz hit the spot!

    GREAT WORK!!! :D :D
     
  13. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2003
    Nooooooo!! Remember, LE, you already killed him once. It's not necessary to do it again. But should you choose to let poor Obi bite the dust, I'm sure that we would all love it anyway. :D
     
  14. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Lovely, LE Just lovely. I loved how you had Obi-Wan think he was going into a pit of insects and how Qui-Gon was able to get him out.

    Great job but you need to keep going and make sure Obi-Wan LIVES!!!!
     
  15. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    I disappear for a little while and you go and start yet another new story. This is fabulous LE BUT I don't like all this talk of killing Obi-Wan. :eek: I am completely out of touch with the Obi-Wan challenge thread but I can't believe you Obi-lovers had a challenge to kill the poor guy. Ani maybe, but not our Obi. I certainly hope you got it out of your system over there. ;)

    This story is wonderfully written just like all of you work. I too like your OC and the relationship between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon is beautiful. I'll be following this story very closely. :)
     
  16. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Very alarming post, but I have faith in you LE. I don't think Obi is down for the count yet, especially if Qui has anything to say about it.

    Love how Ullo is getting so drawn up in Obi's predicament and is being the voice of reason for Qui. It's good to have him there, to read his POV. You could have easily had it be just Qui and Obi, but this OC adds a very poignant dimension. Can't wait for more.

    --shan
     
  17. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Sniffle. I love Tirr more and more, though, LE. I love how he's starting to feel for Obi-Wan. Can't wait for more!

    Shaindl
     
  18. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    jm2 Thanks! :D

    o_e What does that mean? Oh, you'll figure it out. 8-} You're never gonna shut up about that OC fic, are ya? [face_laugh]

    BlueJedi Thank you so much. [face_blush]

    Kynstar I got your reply at the 'other' site. You're so incredibly sweet in your reviews, you must have my stories confused with someone better! ;)

    Opal At least I have your unwavering support. [face_devil] Thank you. ;)

    diane Thank you. I know you're enjoying when you find the insects lovely. 8-}

    Sheila Welcome back, first off. :D The challenge was a ghastly topic, but a lot of people wrote some unique pieces in response. Some were even humor! :D So glad you're on board for this fic. ;)

    shanobi OC POV's (jeez, enough abbreviations there? [face_laugh] ) are definitely not my specialty, so it's been very interesting exploring Ullo and writing his reactions to the situation, as well as Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. Thanks again for your awesome support. [face_love]

    Shaindl I'm liking writing him more and more...which is not to say I'll give in to that tyrant o_e. 8-} Thank you. ;)



    ^^^ () ^^^

    It is a known fact that, when it comes to promises, the statement is far easier to complete than the fulfillment of said statement which must follow.

    For Qui-Gon, it meant he had to keep his eyes to the beaten, lifeless path, while his heart would not budge from its treasured point of focus.

    For Ullo, it meant he had to stifle the worry that jabbed into him whenever he dare glimpse at the fragile and fevered Kenobi?for he had silently swore to himself that he would never prove Qui-Gon Jinn right, by surrendering to the intrinsic emotions that were breeding deeper, serious thoughts. Thoughts that were then imbedded in the private, intimate corners of his mind, where pale denials could not completely chase them into oblivion. He did not want this responsibility any more than he wanted to carry a thousand pound boulder on his shoulders, a weight that Ullo could see crushing down on Jinn.

    And for Obi-Wan, the strength needed to uphold the pledge he made to his Master was teetering on the line between extremely difficult and impossible. He thought that his will alone would be enough to endure the sweating, the shaking, the all-encompassing pain. His will, and the dominating will of his Master. Obi-Wan had witnessed the incredible power the man wielded. He held more faith in that than almost anything else in the Universe.

    Qui-Gon?s legendary vigor had been reduced to what he could offer with his hands and voice. He rubbed Obi-Wan?s back and murmured in his ear. But his reach could not extend to whatever infected the young, slender body.

    That knowledge was becoming the Padawan?s adversary. If his own Master could not successfully combat the pain, how then could Obi-Wan, a mere apprentice?

    In a different arena, in a less intense, stressful time, Obi-Wan might have viewed the conundrum as some sort of test, put forth by Qui-Gon, or even the Force itself. Obi-Wan?s greatest weakness had always been the fine layers of self-doubt that permeated his every action and thought, the cause of his early bouts with anger. The root of the frustration that had come so close to costing him his life as a Jedi and his relationship with his Master. Now, was that frailty returning, to jeopardize his very survival?

    Obi-Wan closed his eyes, resting his head in the warm nook between Qui-Gon?s neck and shoulder.

    Wouldn?t that be a fitting end, if rather predictable. Death by lack of confidence.

    He would have laughed at such a notion, if it were not veering so uncomfortably towards truth.

    A swelling ache crawled up his leg muscles then and he cried out, the reflective musings fleeing.

    Qui-Gon gripped Obi-Wan?s hand and brought it close to his mouth, so the stirrings of breath thawed clammy fingers. ?Shhh..It?s going to be alright, my Padawan.?

    In the simplistic mindset and desperation of his pain,
     
  19. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    And that's even worse.

    Oh, now it's Tirr breaking my heart! Heartbreaking, LE!

    Now what's this I hear about you and an OC fic with Tirr? I'm already loving it! Can I help OE poke you? Better yet, I have leverage - I won't beta for you until you start posting it... :D

    Cheers,

    Shaindl
     
  20. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    That was so lovely - the sharing of song and the fact that it gave something for Obi-Wan to focus on rather than his pain.

    Nice that they could share a wonderful memory between them.

    Great job.
     
  21. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    poke poke! You may as well give in easily my dear. You can't withstand the power of my persuasive powers. Just ask Red! :D

    And Sheila, like I told you in my PM, I was the only one who was against the whole kill Obi vileness. :(

    To on the the posty. Once again LE you have left me teary eyed and amazed by the array of emotions you are able to stir with your words. Damned if you don't almost make me like Jinn! :eek:
     
  22. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    Poor Ullo is getting sucked into the whole "I want a padawan" scene. Hold out Ullo- you can do it!
     
  23. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    Ok... now that was even more touching!! Ahhh man.. my heart clinched when the two started singing even after Obi said he couldn't!!! *SNIFF!!* Ahhh that was soooo sweeeet!! Though these lines I really enjoyed:

    ?But,? Jinn countered, ?A Jedi can comment on what he senses. I?m not bending the truth here, to recruit another Knight for the League of Masters or anything ridiculous like that. I would not put the success of an innocent child on the line to satisfy any hidden agenda. And I would not say what I?ve said to you lightly.?

    Ullo paused, then nodded. ?I believe that.? He turned his gaze to the tangles of the jungle. And that?s even worse.


    Great work once more!! :D :D Pat yaself on the back!!
     
  24. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 3, 2004
    Beautiful post...being a music therapist, naturally I loved the two of them singing together until Obi-wan drifted off! Another great job...can't wait for more!
     
  25. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    Just when I think this fic couldn't get any more touching, you go and out do yourself again. Each post is better than the last.

    LOVED the little song :) Qui certainly is miraculous when it comes to Obi. I always take Qui with a grain of salt. In some fics I like him, some I don't - it differs with each fic depending on how the author uses him. I definately like him here.

    His reaction to Obi's pain and illness is heartbreakingly understated, yet he still remains so strong. It's almost hard to believe that should his young charge die, that it would most likely break him completely.

    Poor Ullo. He's fighting a losing battle too. By the end of the mission i'm sure he'll understand what Qui was saying all along. What is that old saying? It's better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all Now, that's not to say I think Obi is lost here! Do whatever you want to him LE - then, YOU MAKE HIM BETTER! :D

    --shan
     
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