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Before - Legends A Change of Plans--An O/Q Short Story--COMPLETED 6.4

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by LuvEwan, Apr 30, 2004.

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  1. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    The truth hurts. :( Poor Qui-Gon, but things can only get better now that the truth is out. Wonderful post LE.
     
  2. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Gods, what?s wrong with the two of you? Has there been a steady gas leak in your apartment?? [face_laugh]
     
  3. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    o_e that was soooo funny wasn't it!! That comment stuck out for me as well! Loved it! *snrk* hehehehe
     
  4. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    The boards are finally leting me post again.

    Ullo's right- Mind Healer Wanted...Apply in person!
     
  5. LuvEwan

    LuvEwan Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2002
    Well, here it is...The last post. **wipes a tear away**

    Shaindl Angst? How dare you assume that I would write such a thing?! 8-}

    Kynstar A great big thank you, as always. ;)

    Opal Hey, ya didn't have to wait long, did ya? ;)

    jeday. Yes, it is best for Qui-Gon to know, something that Ullo knows.

    Sheila Yep, honesty's the best policy! :D

    o_e Ya like that? :-B

    PK [face_laugh]




    The Knight watched him go, then slouched down on the corner of his bed. A mind healer I?m not.

    There was rustling from the other cot, and he saw Obi-Wan, eyes barely open, staring at him.

    Ullo?s hands tensed for a passing moment. And a delicate mind healer, I?m definitely not! ?Hey, kid. Uh, he just went out for a second-?

    ?I know.? Obi-Wan murmured.

    He knows? Dread plunged the Knight?s stomach. ?Were you awake??

    Obi-Wan struggled to sit upright, propping his back against the wall for support. ?I knew he was upset.?

    ?You did??

    ?Mmhm. He wasn?t doing very well hiding it. Usually he?s shielded better. I?ve done my best to shield as well?he?s beyond exhaustion. That?s why he?s acting like this.?

    ?Are you sure?? Ullo motioned to the door with his head. ?Because from what I?ve heard, he wasn?t bent out of shape from lack of sleep.?

    Obi-Wan studied him for a few seconds with eyes that appeared perfectly still, but seemed to glimmer in every direction, taking in every detail. ?You told him.?

    Ullo took a steady breath. He knew there was no need to clarify just what was told. ?Yes, I did.? And I would do it again.

    ?You don?t believe he?s been through enough?? There was a careful measure of anger in the apprentice?s tone. Very real, but very controlled. ?After that disaster in the jungle, after his disagreement with the officials??

    ?He?s been through Hell, Obi-Wan. I wouldn?t deny that.? Ullo countered, determined to be gentle, noting the still-waxen cast of the young face. ?But don?t you believe you?ve been through just as much??

    The eyes didn?t waver. ?That?s another subject entirely.?

    ?Maybe. But do you believe it??

    ?I believe that of all the pain dealt to us on this assignment, my Master has bore the brunt of it. And I believe you didn?t help things by telling him what?what I said, in confidence, to you.? There was a small break in the hard mask. ?If anyone was ever to tell him, I should?ve been?? He shook his head. ?How can I face him now? Now that he knows what I said??

    ?I really don?t think he?s angry with you, Obi-Wan.?

    Obi-Wan picked pieces of lint from the blanket. It was a method he taught himself in the crèche: Channel your feelings to something which does not require them. But he couldn?t help the frustration building in his chest. His voice was a little strained, ?And what if he?s angry with himself??

    ?Then he?ll work through it. You?ll work through it. The both of you.?

    ?It would be better if he were just angry with me.? Obi-Wan said in a borderline mumble.

    Ullo took his chances, and sat beside the Padawan. ?I?m sure he doesn?t see it that way.?

    Obi-Wan brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them. ?How would you know?? He wondered softly. ?You hardly know him.?

    ?That?s true.? The Knight canted his head to the side, so they were at eye-level. ?But at the surface, it doesn?t seem like you know him at all.?

    ^^^ () ^^^

    There wasn?t exactly a plethora of options for Qui-Gon on the cramped vessel, so he closed himself in the lavatory. Which, if his thoughts had been more leisurely, he would have immediately noticed resembled a tall, thin closet.

    But his mind was absorbed?spinning with bluntly-worded revelation. Qui-Gon leaned forward, gripping the cold rim of the sink.

    Obi-Wan thinks he is inferior to Xanatos?

    Acid bubbled from Qui-Gon?s stomach to his throat. The yellowed artificial light radiated sickly around his face.

    My Padawan believes he lives in shadow. A cold, ugly shadow at tha
     
  6. Shaindl

    Shaindl Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Jun 18, 2002
    Sweetheart, there'd better be a sequel. Or the cyberhounds will be let loose to rage unrepentently down to Arizona.

    And I think you need to write the scene where they have THE TALK.

    Lovely post, LE, but I refuse to believe it's done. :p

    Shaindl
     
  7. Kynstar

    Kynstar Jedi Knight star 5

    Registered:
    Mar 2, 2004
    M'Lady L_E pat yourself on the back!! You have done outstandingly!!!! Great job!! Loved these following things:

    Now doesn't that sound familiar?? How many of us have done this??

    Obi-Wan picked pieces of lint from the blanket. It was a method he taught himself in the crèche: Channel your feelings to something which does not require them. But he couldn?t help the frustration building in his chest.

    Slam-batta-batta-bing! Bet that hit hard! Sad but true!!

    Obi-Wan brought his knees up to his chest and rested his head on them. ?How would you know?? He wondered softly. ?You hardly know him.?

    ?That?s true.? The Knight canted his head to the side, so they were at eye-level. ?But at the surface, it doesn?t seem like you know him at all.?


    Poor Qui... he didn't realize this... but hopefully he'll comprehend the full meaning.

    Obi-Wan thinks he is inferior to Xanatos?

    Acid bubbled from Qui-Gon?s stomach to his throat. The yellowed artificial light radiated sickly around his face.

    My Padawan believes he lives in shadow. A cold, ugly shadow at that.

    He hung his head, not relishing the sight of his reflection.

    And he was able to tell a near stranger?but not me.


    OK this was sooooooooo heartfelt!!! And the last 2 lines were juz FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!!! [face_laugh]

    Obi-Wan looked into the eyes that carried him through storm. Eyes that, in their depths, always contained wisdom

    Eyes that he never believed held much else, towards him.

    A hand settled on his forehead, and Obi-Wan felt the soft suggestion of sleep impossible to ignore.

    Qui-Gon withdrew his hand, pulled the blankets up around them.

    ?Sleep well, Master Jinn.? Ullo?s voice floated up from the dark.

    ?You too.? The Master murmured.
    ?And thanks.?

    ?For what??

    Ullo grinned. ?For stealing the title of ?Best Master? before I ever had a freakin? chance.?

    Qui-Gon laughed. ?I think you?ll have your chance.?


    LOVED IT!!! Totally loved it!!!!! Can't wait for that companion piece!!! :D :D :D
     
  8. Opal

    Opal Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Nov 17, 2003
    I second Shaindl's suggestion. They really do need to have that talk. Now, how can we persuade you to write it? [face_devil]
     
  9. jeday

    jeday Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Jan 4, 2004
    I know how Opal!
    Waves hand : YOU WILL WRITE A SEQUEL LE ! [face_devil]
     
  10. obi_ew

    obi_ew Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Qui-Gon laughed. ?I think you?ll have your chance.?

    Yes please! [face_batting]
     
  11. Sheila

    Sheila Jedi Master star 4

    Registered:
    Oct 6, 2002
    Absolutely perfect LE! However, I have to add my voice to those who would love to see more. We are insatiable aren't we? :D

     
  12. jedimommie2

    jedimommie2 Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    May 3, 2004
    (starts leading chant) Sequel! Sequel! Sequel! Sequel!

    Another wonderful job! =D= I really loved Ullo and how he opened both Obi and Qui's eyes--which of course led to Obi/Qui mush!

    (continues chant) Sequel! Sequel! Sequel!
     
  13. Lurkalidth

    Lurkalidth Jedi Youngling star 2

    Registered:
    Feb 5, 2003
    A delectable story; as always, an irresistible melange of angst and warm-n-fuzzies, interspersed with some riveting action. :D I love your writing!

    And excuse this comment from plain ol' me. I was just wondering, though, whether a sequel would be moot, counter-productive. I think the moment of truth is when Qui-Gon, armed with the Knight's passed-on confidence and seeing Obi-Wan's misery first-hand, merely tells Obi-Wan that they don't have to talk about it (now?), and then sends him off to sleep. That sort of indicates, at least to me, that this never *does* get resolved between them--just like there's always a bigger fish, there's always another excuse, whoops meant "reason" ;), why Qui-Gon can't find the time to reassure Obi-Wan of how much he means to QG (which just intensifies Obi-Wan's insecurities further?).

    Of course, this is just my fallible grasping at straws, and as English crit lit was *never* my forte...

    Well, anyways, thank you for another wonderful series.
     
  14. shanobi

    shanobi Jedi Padawan star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 11, 2001
    It's over? Really? I'm so bummed :(

    I can't tell you how much i've enjoyed this LE. There was just something about it that had me popping over here to see if you'd updated everytime I logged on. I loved the connection between Qui and Obi - the one that you showed us, even if they were unaware of it themselves - atleast until the end.

    Ullo was absolutely wonderful, and I wouldn't mind seeing him again. He was very good with both Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. He instinctively seemed to know how to handle both of them.

    I too would like more, but if not - this is great as is. The caring you showed us that Qui has for Obi assures me that they will be just fine.

    On the brighter side, now I can go check up on Threat and get all caught up. So many fics, so little time :D

    --shan
     
  15. PadawanKitara

    PadawanKitara Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Dec 31, 2001
    That was great- I agree with the peanut gallery- SEQUEL!
     
  16. Kadi

    Kadi Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Mar 24, 2004
    I loved this story. :) Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were written perfectly. Never once did they stray out of character.

    Sequel!

    Please? :D

    And if not with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan, how about with Ullo? :D He is such a great OC.

     
  17. Captain_Observant

    Captain_Observant Jedi Master star 2

    Registered:
    Dec 15, 2002
    Great Job LE, you certainly never let you readers down! You are a wonderful writer, and I always enjoy your stuff.

    And congrats from breaking out of prison, oops, I mean high school.

    And most importantly, I am adding my vote for a sequel!!

    ~The Captain
     
  18. dianethx

    dianethx Jedi Master star 6

    Registered:
    Mar 1, 2002
    Absolutely lovely. I'm just sorry I missed the last few posts (been away in hell). I really liked that Ullo told Obi-Wan about how much Qui-Gon cares for him and that he told Qui-Gon about what Obi-Wan thinks. Very heart-wrenching, lots of mush (thank you very much :D ) but I must add my voice to the majority and say we need a sequel talk - maybe an epilogue if you don't want to do the whole thing.....

    You're such a good writer! Wonderful =D=
     
  19. AnariaZar-Rel

    AnariaZar-Rel Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    May 8, 2004
    I loved this story, so many wonderful moments - I just love fics with Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan. Knight Tirr is such a well written character. The whole thing is so well written! So happy to see a sequel :)
     
  20. Tanith

    Tanith Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Nov 13, 2003
    A fantastic story - I can't believe how well you write, you're really talented.

    I've just read the whole story as a one-er today, and what a rollercoaster of emotions. I'm glad you didn't kill off Obi-Wan, well, not permanently at least [face_devil]

    I know you said you didn't like writing OC's, but Ullo is a fantastic character - I really hope that you use him again.

     
  21. Layren

    Layren Jedi Master star 5

    Registered:
    Oct 28, 2003
    Awwwwwwwww that was soooo sweet!!!! Glad I didn't have to wait through the evil cliffies like the rest [face_mischief]

    Brilliant job with characterizations on everyone. I love how well you do Qui-Gon that was wonderful..I had to reach for a hankie a time or two myself..

    What a great OC too! Very well developed and I enjoyed reading about him as much as I did reading about the canon characters ;) Great job!!!
     
  22. Durhelediel

    Durhelediel Jedi Youngling star 3

    Registered:
    Mar 5, 2004
    Well, my first word would simply be 'WOW'. Hm, I think I could expound upon it to be "freakin wow". lol

    Your writing is so realistic, so true to life that the reader believes anything to be possible. Like with any good book I found myself unable to be torn away (read it all in one sitting...ow my butt hurts). I alternated between fear for Obi-Wan's life (you should have heard my scream when he died), to joy and a pleased sense of balance when he became alive again and brought the rain with him, and then moist-eyed absorbed reading when the "talks" were being done (never cried but only because my eyes are soooo freakin dried out from staring at the computer screen so long). lol

    My recent undertakings are not nearly this good, not even a forth this good and you make me anxious and itching to write a loner again to see if I still have what it takes.

    Superb! Marvelous! And if there is a sequel, do let me know via PM where to find it.

    Hm, if I keep leaving all these praising posts like I have been lately, I'll lose my reputation for being a hard-to-please reader. But on this story, it is very well deserved for me to say what a absolutely wonderful job you did! And I totally LOVE your signature.

    Note: Congrats on breaking out of high school. I feel old because I did that almost four years ago now. Wow...I'm dating myself again... lol

    Edit: Okay, you guys totally screwed up Moulin Rouge for me. I had never seen it but by reading your posts I discovered what happened. Soooooooo a friend let me borrow it and all I can say is OMG. I cried and cried!!! But Ewan could sing to me ALL DAY LONG>>> lol
     
  23. The_Hutt

    The_Hutt Jedi Youngling star 1

    Registered:
    Jan 7, 2004
    Wow, I'm glad I stumbled on this story! I have to admit I was initially attracted to this story over the many other JA threads because 1. I live in a desert,and I don't get to see too many JA stories set in an arid climate, and 2. I work outside and I just experienced something similar to Obi about a month ago (The heat problems, not the insect!) So I can say, without a doubt, that it is not a lovely experience! You wrote about it in a great manner! I started it late last night and just finished it this morning, I couldn't "put it down." I particularly like Ullo, he rocks! As Qui and Obi spent the entire story doubting themselves and their worthiness to be with the other, it was refreshing for Ullo to be there to roll his eyes and smack some sense into them. And I'm glad that he might gain his own padawan, as I have no doubt towards his awsome capacity for love. Ullo was a well thought out character, and I love anyone whose sarcasm can match Obi's! Anyways, good story, good writing, and of course, good mush.
     
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