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Before - Legends A Lesson under the Arboray Trees?—Winter fic-gift for earlybird-obi-wan

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Findswoman , Dec 19, 2015.

  1. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    Author: Findswoman
    Title: A Lesson under the Arboray Trees?
    Characters: Qui-Gon Jinn, Obi-Wan Kenobi (in his teens), Siri Tachi, OC
    Era: Before, sometime during Obi and Siri’s padawan years. (I think this would count as Legends—if not, let me know.)
    Genre: Slightly humorous slice of life with hints of SiriWan
    Notes: Winter fic-gift for earlybird-obi-wan. Her request was:
    I’ve also borrowed some elements from earlybird’s fanon posts on the Dunai-elder and Dunai (one of her original species) and on the Dunai language. I thank Ewok Poet, Admiral Volshe, and Jedi Master Kenobiwan for their feedback on earlier drafts.

    A Lesson under the Arboray Trees?

    Obi-Wan Kenobi was annoyed, frustrated, and worried. More so, he suspected, than was considered proper for a Jedi.

    It was bad enough that Master Jinn had dragged him along on this tiresome diplomatic (or some such; Obi-Wan wasn’t quite sure) mission to the Outer Rim planet of Mayno-Mayzee. At least they had been able to wrangle Master Gallia to let Siri Tachi join them, which had been no small diplomatic triumph in and of itself. But between the endless, boring committee meetings and nonstop appointments with planetary dignitaries, Obi-Wan had barely had any time to talk to his friend and fellow padawan. Nor did it help that Master Jinn was constantly coming up with various trifling errands on which to send both of them—separately from each other. Always, of course, while smiling and winking in his characteristic enigmatic way.

    In any case, the entire situation was infuriating enough without the girl going missing.

    For that is exactly what had happened. The girl, the little black-haired girl they had found three days ago crying in an alley, was not in the unused office suite that the committee had given them to serve as their base of operations. About six or seven Standard years old, Human-looking but with pointed ears that peeked through her straight, smooth hair, she had spent the last three days jabbering at them in a language Obi-Wan had never heard before—and the off-brand protocol droid the committee had lent them hadn’t been much help. It was only from the odd interspersed word or phrase of broken Basic that they were able to learn that she had gotten separated from her parents. (Indeed, from the intense worry pulsing through her Force signature, they had figured it must be something like that.)

    Each day since the three Jedi found her, she would wait in the office suite for them to finish their negotiations, after which they would all partake of a light supper. Siri had even left the girl her datapad and a Cerean puzzle cube to keep her occupied. But now all that was there, amid a flurry of Stikk-Itt notes, Wite-A-Way strips, half-exhausted color styluses, and sketched-on flimsi sheets, was the puzzle cube.

    Needless to say, this worried Obi-Wan. He had been specifically assigned by Master Jinn to keep an eye on the girl that afternoon. If she got lost on his watch, he was the one who would eventually end up sentenced to a session of what was known in padawan circles as “intensive topato meditation” in the Jedi Temple kitchens. (Though Obi-Wan had to admit it was rather fun to Force-ricochet the topatoes off each other in midair. He had done so many a time before.)

    Right now, however, there was nothing else to do but go look for the missing child. Obi-Wan combed the halls of the Republic embassy, asking everyone he met, droid and sentient, whether they had seen a little black-haired girl with pointed ears. Everyone he met, droid and sentient, answered in the negative.

    Exasperated, he went out to walk around the lush parklands surrounding the embassy. With its rich variety of arboreal and avian life, the Living Force was strong there, and feeling its flow lifted his spirits. For at least an hour he strolled along one park path and another, until finally a familiar Force signature wafted into his consciousness from a half-hidden grove of arboray trees. As he came closer, he became aware of a familiar voice wafting from there, too.

    “Okay, let me try this again.” It was Siri. “El anjië . . . soni . . . el verid lomin. Is that right?”

    “NOH!” came a second voice, a child’s, half laughing, half scolding. “NOH nonononoNOH! El anjii soni el verid lomin!”

    Obi-Wan entered the grove to see his fellow padawan sitting on the ground sitting on the ground beside none other than the little black-haired girl, very slowly speaking words he didn’t understand.

    “El anjii . . . sonin . . .”

    “Noh sonin! Soni!” Although trying to sound stern, the girl was really closer to squealing with laughter. “You conj’ate!

    “OK, so . . .” Siri cleared her throat. “Sona, soni, soni, sonë . . . no, wait, sona, soni . . . Oh, Gwylla, Dunai is so hard! . . . sona, soni, sonii—oh, hi, Obi-Wan!”

    “Hello, Siri, Gwylla,” he replied, nodding to each of them. “And what are you two doing out here?”

    “Me give Siri lesson!” came the jubilant response from Gwylla.

    “That’s right. Each day after the plenary committee meeting we’ve been coming out here, and she’s been teaching me her native language.” Siri paused, then continued. “You’ve been worried about her, haven’t you? Don’t try to deny it, Obi. I can sense it clear as day.”

    “I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t a relief to find you here,” Obi-Wan rejoined. “What language is it?”

    “Dunai. She’s from Moniron, remember? First thing she told us when we met her.”

    The girl nodded. “Moniron is home! Iron aarani, Moniron aarani!” she exclaimed, before launching into a barrage of exuberant Dunai.

    Obi-Wan nodded too. Moniron had come up in his Jedi coursework and archival research; he seemed to remember that all its inhabitants were Force-sensitive to some extent, and that it had several ancient and unique Force traditions of its own. And word in the healers’ wing (where Force knows he had spent his share of time) was that they were planning to open a Jedi healers’ academy there.

    Siri leaned closer to Obi-Wan and spoke in a quieter voice. “But, Obi, it’s hard. Master Weemsby-Halcyon’s advanced Olys Corellisi class was a blue-milk run in comparison.”

    “Try me,” chuckled Obi-Wan, sitting cross-legged on the grass between Siri and Gwylla. “There’s still a whole hour before the ambassador’s reception. I might as well spend it learning something new.”

    “Okay, if you say so . . . Gwylla, what shall we start him with? ‘Ghenesin tarba’?”

    “Yes, ‘Ghenesin tarba’ is good idea.” The dark-haired girl reached into a pocket and took out a datapad—Siri’s datapad—which she handed to Obi-Wan. “Here! Read!”

    “All right, here goes.” Obi-Wan cleared his throat, genteelly but audibly, and began to declaim the text on the screen. “‘Ghenesin tah-ba . . .’”

    “Tarba!” Gwylla corrected. “Tarrrba!”

    “‘Ghenesin tarrrba . . .’” Obi-Wan grimaced; the trilled resh felt odd in his High-Coreworld idiolect. “‘Sonin el engwari . . .’”

    “Go on, go on!” Siri enthused. “You’re doing beautifully!”

    “‘Nenya lomin e gwaygwah-lion lomin . . . ’” Obi-Wan raised a hand in a dramatic gesture and continued in an exaggeratedly lyrical, singsong tone. “‘Nenya . . . alt el engwa rhani . . .’”

    “Oh, Obi! You’re a natural! Isn’t he, Gwylla!” Gwylla bounced and clapped her hands in agreement.

    “‘Nenya alt el engwa . . . imdal!’”

    “Yes, yes!” Siri’s excitement was reaching fever pitch. “Keep going!”

    “Engwari . . . aarani!”

    “Oh, Obi!”

    “‘Aarani . . . GWAH-LI-ON!!’” concluded Obi-Wan, with a final grand flourish of his hand.

    “OBI!! That was so beautiful! You are so amazing!” And before Obi-Wan could respond, Siri sprang from her place on the grass and kissed him on the cheek.

    Well, now.”

    The two padawans froze. All of a sudden, standing before them there under the arboray trees, was the robed, flowing-haired form of Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn.

    “There’s just nothing to be done about you two amorous avians, is there? And in front of young Gwylla, too.”

    “If you please, Master Jinn . . . we were just . . . just . . .” Obi-Wan trailed off, his face the color of a Red Nebula onion. Gwylla was tittering profusely, a fact that she tried unsuccessfully to hide with both her hands.

    “It was just . . . part of our lesson,” put in Siri hurriedly.

    “Lesson. I see.” Qui-Gon’s blue eyes twinkled. “Well, if I were a certain kind of Jedi Master, I would say, ‘tell that to Master Gallia.’” Siri shuddered at the name of her no-nonsense teacher. “If I were another kind of Jedi Master, it might be more along the lines of, ‘oh, that’s what the young people are calling it these days.’ Still another kind of Master”—he trained a semi-menacing look on Obi-Wan—“would mutter something about unpeeled topatoes.”

    “Oh, Master Jinn, sir!” The girl wrung her hands as she looked imploringly up into his eyes. “Please, noh mad at Obi and Siri. Really was lesson.”

    “Oh, was it?” The Jedi Master raised one eyebrow.

    “Yes. Dunai language lesson. Not . . . binhir. Just lesson.”

    Qui-Gon laughed. “All right, if you say so, young one,” he said, playfully ruffling the girl’s hair. She giggled. “Anyway, I didn’t come here to play the stern Inquisitor. I came to tell Gwylla”—he leaned closer to her—“that I’ve found your mother and father. They’re waiting back at the embassy.”

    “Ooh, let’s go!” Gwylla jumped up. “Lesson ’journed!

    * * *

    In a matter of minutes they were back at the front stairs of the Republic embassy. Two strikingly tall and slender humanoids with the same fair skin and pointed ears as Gwylla stood there waiting for them: a woman with long, straight jet-black hair, and a man with long, straight white-blond hair. Gwylla broke into a run the moment she saw them. They caught her with outstretched arms and covered her with kisses, all the while cooing tender words in that inscrutably beautiful language of theirs.

    The three Jedi looked on, smiles illumining their faces as their young friend’s Force signature shone again with happy calm. Siri brushed an errant tear from her eye.

    “Oh, Obi,” she sniffed. “Isn’t it sweet?”

    “Oh, Siri,” Obi-Wan answered, mimicking her sniff. “Of course it is.”

    He glanced at Qui-Gon, who was now facing Gwylla’s parents and telling them the whole story of Gwylla’s finding in very slow, clear Basic. Then he glanced at Siri, then back at Qui-Gon. It didn’t seem quite the right moment to return that kiss Siri had given him under the arboray trees, but maybe—just maybe—there would be a suitably shadowy alcove at the ambassador’s reception.

    And even there weren’t, this had already been a much sweeter diplomatic mission than most. ¶

    Mayno-Mayzee is an original planet and is named for Mazomanie, Wisconsin, USA, a small and somewhat podunkacious town northwest of Madison.

    The Dunai poem recited by Obi-Wan is the one featured in @earlybird-obi-wan’s fanon post on the Dunai language (scroll down to the bottom of the post to see the poem and its translation). All the Dunai words used in this story are listed and defined in the same post. The exception is the verb forms recited by Siri, which were made up by me based on the word “sonin” (planted) that is part of the poem. As for “binhir,”look it up in the list. ;)

    Master (Floridamia) Weemsby-Halcyon is my own creation, though the name Halcyon is of course closely associated with the Corellian Jedi. I see her as being a member of that semi-autonomous branch of the Order who was specially called in to teach Olys Corellisi at the main Jedi Temple on Coruscant.

    Stikk-Itt notes and Wite-A-Way strips are my own creations. No doubt their in-universe functions are as obvious as their real-life inspirations.

    Wookieepedia links:
    Arboray tree:
    Cerean puzzle cube:
    Red Nebula onion: (It’s not made clear in the Wook entry if they’re actually red, but I’m going to imagine that they are.)
    Topatoes: (though I first learned about them from K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku)

  2. jcgoble3

    jcgoble3 Force Ghost star 6

    Nov 7, 2010
    Nicely written! I always love some Obi/Siri. :D

    Most of all, I really like the language barrier between the Jedi and Gwylla here. We see so many different languages in the Star Wars universe, but to see an actual language barrier is rare. Usually the characters know each other's language, or else someone is readily available to translate. To see a true barrier, where neither knows the other's language and no translator is available, is very interesting. :)
  3. leiamoody

    leiamoody Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Nov 8, 2005
    Well, thanks to your post, now I know what a Red Nebula onion is...see, fan fic is educational. ;)

    On a serious note, this is lovely. It's got the right mix of sweetness (Obi and Siri's padawan flirtation, the impromptu language lesson with Gwylla, Qui-Gon's amusement) and the world-building you provided by utilizing @earlybird-obi-wan's fanon while creating your own elements to make this fic your own.
  4. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Chosen One star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Oh this is very sweet and beautifully written. I love how you write the Dunai, Siri and Obi-Wan. Perfect characterisation
    Thank you^:)^=D=[:D]
  5. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha Chosen One star 8

    Aug 31, 2004
    Findswoman - that was wonderful, naturally. A fun and gently sweet read, and Obi and Siri muchly in character. =D=
  6. Ewok Poet

    Ewok Poet Force Ghost star 6

    Jul 31, 2014
    I can nothing but second Jon's comment. I know that at least one other author can write in other GFFA languages and I would like to see more of that in future...especially if it's as brilliantly executed as it is here. :) earlybird-obi-wan's Dunai language seems to be abstract enough to be different, yet its syntax and morphology make it human-readable. And I absolutely love the word anjii, I may have to come up with an idea of my character, Anjie, having been named by a Dunai. [face_love]

    It's always nice to see Qui-Gon and Adi - even if it's just a mention and even if they are being complete PITA to these two youngsters who are still trying to figure their feelings out and bring them to whatever the code allows them to. In my opinion, there is a grey area here and neither of the sides is completely aware of it...and then, the little girl sort of makes them all step into the said area, which is awesome.

    Mayno-Mayzee will always read Mayonnaise to me (sowwy, sowwy, absowutewy sowwy!), but the little bit of worldbuilding you did for it makes me want to see more. You can't just throw it out there and leave us with breadcrumbs. Is is [hl=black]the office supplies planet[/hl]?

    Teenage romance in its early stages is tricky to write and to get right and you got it right - then again, when did you NOT get something right? They're still somewhat bashful, and as insecure as can be, being padawans and all...

    Also love it how Gwylla completely OWNS Obi-Wan and makes him about the funniest babysitter, ever. :D
  7. Jedi Master Kenobiwan

    Jedi Master Kenobiwan Force Ghost star 6

    Oct 8, 2011
  8. KELIA

    KELIA Manager Emeritus star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Jul 26, 2005
    That was very sweet. [face_love][face_love][face_love]

    And I’m betting Obi-Wan found a time….or two to return Siri’s unexpected but lovely kiss.

    Very nice job on this

  9. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    (Reserved for replies to the above. Thank you all for reading!)
    AzureAngel2 likes this.
  10. mavjade

    mavjade Former Manager star 6 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 10, 2005
    This was adorable!
    I love little Gwylla and how eager she was!
    The Obi-wan/Siri parts were so cute! [face_love] I especially loved when Qui-gon caught them.

    ...a session of what was known in padawan circles as “intensive topato meditation” in the Jedi Temple kitchens. (Though Obi-Wan had to admit it was rather fun to Force-ricochet the topatoes off each other in midair. He had done so many a time before.)
    Bah ha ha... what a great name for that punishment! And the mental image of Obi-wan and others goofing off while doing so was great!

    Fantastic job! =D=
  11. JadeLotus

    JadeLotus Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Mar 27, 2005
    I really love the way you've written Qui-Gon in this, and Obi-Wan and Siri's little encounter was very sweet!
  12. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Ohmigosh, I was convinced that I had reviewed this fic when I first read it, but I'm realising now that I only "liked" the post and failed to reply. So here comes a review, and as usual I don't have much to add now that everyone else has been here before me.

    I love how every young Obi-Wan fic includes a reference to the time he spent in the healers' ward :p

    Besides the story itself -- little Gwylla, Obi/Siri cuteness and of course Master Qui-Gon "smiling and winking in his characteristic enigmatic way" ;) what I loved in this fic is the Hogwarts-ian feel you gave to the Jedi Temple. For instance:
    No wonder the padawans spent so much time with the healers. Similarly to the wizard apprentices in Harry Potter, having so many "gifted" youngsters in one place is a disaster waiting to happen.

    And when I saw in your notes that Master Weemsby-Halcyon's first name is Floridamia, well, it kind of confirmed my impression!

    Why do I sense that Qui-Gon didn't bring Siri on this trip entirely by chance?

  13. AzureAngel2

    AzureAngel2 Chosen One star 6

    Jun 14, 2005
    It relieves me that some beloved characters of mine live on in fanfics like this. Thank you! @};-
    Kahara and Findswoman like this.
  14. Kahara

    Kahara Favorites of Fanfic Hostess Extraordinaire star 4 VIP - Game Host

    Mar 3, 2001
    Love the beginning -- Obi-Wan is just the type to be annoyed at himself for being annoyed. ;) And I can only imagine what Qui-Gon is thinking about looking after two padawans -- it may not be herding cats since they’re generally well-behaved, but still... he probably thinks they can get in only half as much trouble on separate errands. :p

    Nice to see the earlybird’s Dunai fanon show up here, that’s a neat addition to the prompt! :D And it’s neat to see them working out communication a realistically haphazard way instead of having translation immediately available. (ROTJ weirds me out on that front, but that’s a whole other story. :confused:)

    [face_laugh] People forget that Obi-Wan has a not-so-deeply-buried mischievous streak. So glad to see that here! And it’s a nice reminder of his age, since Jedi padawans are often older than their years in some ways. But even they would surely have to act like kids sometimes. :D

    Though I’ll admit my experience is limited, Gwylla seems right on the mark for how a young kid might react. Really liked how she’s obviously entertained by Siri’s errors here, and how they’re all having fun with trying to then teach some of her language to Obi-Wan. It’s really sweet, and in a way that feels realistic. =D= They’re such an adorable bunch of goofs here.

    And of course Qui-Gon appears at the “incriminating” moment. [face_rofl] Poor padawans. But it’s pretty clear that he knows what’s really going on and mostly wants to tease them. Though I’d bet that he has some concerns with regards to the underlying feelings and that may have to do with all the errands. :p The complexities of chaperoning teenaged Jedi -- not a job for the faint of heart, or the entirely unsympathetic either. It’s interesting to see this side of Qui-Gon’s character a little. Makes me wonder whether he and Tahl were like that at Obi-Wan and Siri's age, and if it reminds him a bit of that.

    Glad they found Gwylla’s parents and so that story has a happy ending, even it does mean that the lesson had to be ‘journed. :) And the end with Obi-Wan’s thoughts on finding a way to return the kiss is cute!
  15. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    Goodness gracious, I have taken entirely too long to get back to these very nice and much appreciated comments, and I apologize wholeheartedly. Time—high time—to make that up to you all:

    Thanks so much for reading! :) Beisdes the fact that I find languages fascinating generally, I always felt like a lot of "space opera"-type properties (SW, Trek, etc.) never quite made enough of the language barrier concept; if you're dealing with a galaxy with millions or billions of forms of communication, how the Sam Hill can that not be an issue? And language classes were some of my favorite classes in my schooling days, so I figured I'd spread the joy to the GFFA. :D

    Thank you so much for those compliments—always great to have you here. :) This was my first encounter with Red Nebula Onions too! I came across them while scanning the Wook for some kind of plant or fruit or similar that was red (to which to compare Obi-Wan's blushing face), and that seemed like a good candidate. (The Wook didn't actually describe it as red, but heck, with a name like that one is allowed to extrapolate a little, oder?)

    The fanon parts of the story just kind of felt right; fanon is in almost everything I write fic-wise, somewhere. Since Obi and Siri were new characters to me from the writing standpoint, I threw in some elements of the kind I am used to writing about, just to balance things out. And it was a wonderful bonus that earlybird-obi-wan is an accomplished fanonista herself, because then I could borrow her elements rather than just pulling more stuff out of my own ear (though as you see I couldn't totally help doing that either :D ).

    You are most welcome, and I'm so glad you enjoyed this. @};- I was nervous when mavjade handed me your fic-gift request, because I'd never written these characters before and had to spend a lot of time Wooking them before I could even put finger to keyboard—so it's a huge relief to know they came off well. And thank YOU for having all that wonderful fanon on the Dunai, which made the process of writing this extra enjoyable! :)

    Why thank you. :) Again, it means a lot to me to hear that, since writing these two was a new thing for me. (I must say, too, that one place I went for inspiration was K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku 's excellent teenage-Obi stories.)

    Well, gosh, thank you as always, EP. :) I jumped for joy when I came across the word anjii too, because your boy was of course whom I thought of first! Like I said, I find languages really cool, and anything that I find cool you're liable to see come up in stories by me (music is of course another one, and cultural history tidbits of any kind). It would be very cool indeed if the Dunai made an appearance in your oeuvre. :cool:

    There definitely is a gray area here, or potentially several—in a way, the whole situation is a gray area, because, hmmm, are they on a mission? or babysitting? or flirting? or reading poetry to each other? or all of the above? And Gwylla is, indeed, pretty much the catalyst, the single factor that makes that area gray, since she's the whole reason they're there doing what they're doing. Qui-gon and Adi aren't trying to be PITAs, of course—just trying to run an acceptably tight ship in true Jedi fashion. Qui, in particular, never seemed totally unaware of the confusions and frustrations young padawans might have in trying to negotiate that tight ship—or at least that's how I was trying to portray him here.

    I'm glad too you felt the teenage romance aspect of this came off all right, because there too I sometimes feel I'm a little shaky. But bashful and insecure, heck, I can do that, because I'm somewhat that way sometimes myself.

    And yes, Mayno-Mayzee! :D So I created it kind of as the "boring, unspecified mission planet" to which to send fanfic characters when they need to go on some boring, unspecified mission that you as the author don't feel like specifying (and others are welcome to borrow it for that purpose if they like). But indeed I don't see why they couldn't be a prominent Galactic supplier of office suplies to the Galaxy. Maybe someday I'll do a fanon post on [hl=black]Four-Mern, Inc.: Mayno-Maznee Materials and Manufacturing, and their products[/hl].

    Thank you, Jedi Master Kenobiwan! I very much appreciated your feedback while I was working on this, and I'm glad you could stop by. :)

    Thanks so much, KELIA! Great to see you here. :) Yep, whether or not that kiss was returned is a point I leave up to the reader, but heck, parties like that ambassadors' reception do occasionally afford the perfect opportunities. :D

    Aww, thanks, Mav, and thanks for reading! :) The "intensive topato meditation" was almost certainly inspired by K'Tai qel Letta-Tanku 's Obi-Wan stories (indeed, I know that was the first place I read about topatoes); she's an absolute ace at describing the lighthearted side of padawan life and the fun little things Jedi students do to lighten the serious atmosphere that comes along with their studies. Obi's got that mischievous spark about him, so it just seemed perfect.

    Thanks so much, JadeLotus, and thanks for reading! :) I was going for that veneer-of-sternness-with-a-glimmer-of-wry-humor-behind-it feel with that passage, which seemed like a good match for Qui-Gon. He's not really so mad at them as all that, or he wouldn't be saying these wryly humorous things.

    OK, more to come in the next post—thanks again! @};-
  16. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    Thanks so much for reading, Chyn! :) Yep, InjuryProne!Obi-Wan seems to be a recurring theme of sorts (that too I must have picked up from K'Tai's stories). I suppose there may indeed be some subconscious Harry Potter influence here, since those books are pretty much the perfect (and by now archetypal) model for any school for "gifted" youngsters with special powers.

    And Rowling is of course so spot-on with the hilariously old-fashioned names she gives some of her characters (Nymphadora... Mundungus... Ignotus... Ginevra...), so yes, Floridamia Weemsby-Halcyon certainly proceeded from the same influence! I hope I can bring her into a story sometime.

    Why thank you, Azure. I appreciate that, and am glad you could stop by! :)

    Oh, thank you as always, Kahara. I always appreciate your reviews so much. :) See the post before this one for my thoughts on the language barrier theme and the fanon elements, which are both things I love getting into a story if at all possible. Gwylla's amused reaction to Siri's errors with her (Gwylla's) mother tongue was largely inspired by the scene in South Pacific where Nellie is practicing French with Émile's children and is struggling with simple phrases like "sur le table... sur la table," and the little girl corrects her with a big smile on her face, which seemed like a very believable reaction to me too. And Gwylla is the one who brings out the best in everyone here—her presence is what's making this a fun, lighthearted, goofy encounter rather than some kind of awkward teenage wooing attempt.

    Yes, as noted before, Qui-Gon isn't really all that mad at his students and he is mostly just yanking their chains a little. Even with all the strict Jedi tenets of nonattachment, I absolutely agree that those in charge of teaching young padawans can't be made of marble. I don't know much of Qui-Gon's history with Tahl, but heck, this is Qui-Gon, and undoubtedly there was some mischief of one kind or another involved!

    All good lessons eventually do have to be 'journed, alas (as these replies will be shortly). But the memories linger on, and whether or not Siri and Obi get their chance at another kiss at the ambassadors' reception, they'll take home memories of this trip (and of their young Dunai pal) for sure. :)

    Thanks again to all of you for reading and replying! @};-
  17. Hopefulwriter

    Hopefulwriter Jedi Master star 3

    Jan 6, 2016
    Finally getting around to reading more of my fellow writers work.
    Really enjoyed this. Glad the parents found the girl. Interesting language
    Lynda V.
  18. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014

    Thanks so much for reading and reviewing, Lynda! This was fun to write and a bit new for me, since it was my first time tackling these two characters; that's one of the fun things about the December gift exchange that it was written for! The Dunai language is something I can't take any credit for; it's all the work of earlybird-obi-wan, who describes it in this Fanon Thread post; the Dunai species is her creation too.

    Thanks again for stopping by! @};-
    AzureAngel2, Kahara and Ewok Poet like this.
  19. BookExogorth

    BookExogorth Force Ghost star 4

    May 4, 2017
    I really liked it. You managed to capture Qui-Gon nicely despite him not being in the story much.
    Obi/Siri is quite cute.
    You wrote the little girl well too. I really enjoyed this.
    Kahara, Ewok Poet and Findswoman like this.
  20. Mistress_Renata

    Mistress_Renata Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Sep 9, 2000
    And of course, this is one I missed, since I wasn't on the boards at the time. Love. Love. Love.

    But then, I always love the interesting little tidbits and fanon you work in. I was getting a little worried that Gwylla had been lost from her parents for so long; I'm glad they were finally reunited. And I love the detail of bored Obi-Wan making the topatoes crash into each other! Of course that's what he'd do!
    Kahara, AzureAngel2 and Findswoman like this.
  21. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Fanfic Mod in Pink star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Feb 27, 2014
    So, I happened to be looking back in this now-almost-three-year-old thread, and I noticed that somehow I managed to totally overlook these last two wonderful comments! Really sorry about that, and I hope both of you know that I really did appreciate your readership and comments! @};-

    Thanks so much, BookEx, I appreciate that! I hadn't had a lot of experience writing these characters (I still don't), so I'm glad they came off well. And Gwylla was a lot of fun to write, too; I really had a great time exploring @earlybird-obi-wan 's Dunai fanon! :)

    Thank you so much, Renata! I'm so glad you enjoyed this; it was fun to play a bit in a new "sandbox," and indeed adding those little details is one of my favorite things to do in a new sandbox. (And agreed about the topatoes! The younger Obi-Wan always seemed to have a tiny bit of a mischievous streak! :D )

    Thank you both once again, and again apologies for not acknowledging these wonderful comments sooner. @};-