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Saga - PT "A Necessary Deception" OC Fall 2020 Challenge

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by WarmNyota_SweetAyesha , Sep 24, 2020.

  1. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha WIP Month Champion star 8 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Aug 31, 2004
    Title: A Necessary Deception
    Character: Lynnori Fardreamer [Jedi Knight I originally conceived for an RPG]

    In response to the OC Fall 2020 Challenge.
    Parameters:
    * The fic must be OC-centered of course
    * The fic can be of any length, but it must begin with the sentence behind the number chosen.

    #12 is this sentence:
    “Help me! I’m not your enemy,” I said.


    ------

    “Help me! I’m not your enemy,” I said.

    The official I addressed eyed me suspiciously. I was working undercover helping refugees emigrate discreetly from a trouble-zone. The identichips I had been furnished stood the rigorous tests of cyber-verification, as they were meant to.

    Officials on this world were expected to be "paid handsomely" for their "assistance." This irked me to no end!

    But the plight of the refugees made it imperative that I appear at least to cooperate.

    My partner in this venture suggested I employ a "mind trick" to persuade the official he had no desire for a bribe while he supplied with me with the necessary permits and then I could slip away.

    I had laughed and said: "Sure, I'd have better luck convincing him I'd given him the bribe and he lost it!"

    "That would work," Torve said. "Lynnori, we've got to help these folks any way we can!"

    I had sighed. He was right.

    So now I found myself facing a beady-eyed officious type, and thus I put forth all my efforts and thankfully it worked.

    On the transport, I removed my Zeltron disguise and was pleased to see my familiar blue-gray eyes and russet curls in the viewpane in my quarters.

    I could return to the Temple on Coruscant with the pleasure of a mercy mission concluded successfully.

    +++
     
    Kahara , Anedon, Kit' and 2 others like this.
  2. Kit'

    Kit' Manager Emeritus star 5 VIP - Former Mod/RSA

    Registered:
    Oct 30, 1999
    That was really short and sweet! Could definitely tell what was happening though throughout and a nice use of the prompt too!
     
  3. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan WIP Month Champion star 6 VIP - Game Winner

    Registered:
    Aug 21, 2006
    short and sweet and she is really helping
     
  4. Findswoman

    Findswoman The Tol Fanfic Mod (in Pink) star 5 Staff Member Moderator

    Registered:
    Feb 27, 2014
    Nice scene here, and nice to meet Lynnori! It’s definitely a rough call, but she and her associate came up with a very clever solution—the perfect mind trick to pull on those corrupt officials without sinking to their level, and help those in need. Thanks so much for sharing and for being part of the OC Challenge; always great to have you on board! =D=
     
  5. Anedon

    Anedon Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Registered:
    May 11, 2016
    Nice short story. :)
    Helping people while avoiding violence, the Jedi way.
     
  6. Thumper09

    Thumper09 Force Ghost star 4

    Registered:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Great job! It was neat to see that first line transformed into a mind trick. I got the impression that mind tricks may not be Lynnori's strong suit, but luckily for the refugees everything worked out this time. :) It's good to have a Jedi on your side. :) Great post!
     
  7. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Registered:
    Jun 29, 2004
    That was a very clever use of the first line for the challenge! Just the same as others have said, I loved meeting Lynnori here! She and her partner found the perfect way to deal with the corrupt official and - most importantly - help the refugees without sinking to their level. Job well done, indeed!

    I certainly wouldn't mind seeing more of Lynnori, too, in another story soon to come. . . . [face_batting]

    Awesome job with this, again. :D
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2020