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Saga - OT A Rose Has Five Petals (2021 Fanfic Summer Olympics; OC ensemble cast)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction- Before, Saga, and Beyond' started by Findswoman, Jul 1, 2021.

  1. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha 2 Truths 1 Lie Host star 8 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    "Exile is a sealing off; displacement is a barrier."
    This is a very true, eloquent insight. =D=
    I never thought about it overtly that Telfien has to be walled off on the Rose Evergreen ... usually visitors to planets with hostile atmospheres have to suit up temporarily. [face_thinking] But in her case, the mask and other physical barriers are a literal life-saver.
    Kahara, JediMaster_Jen and Findswoman like this.
  2. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    A great piece to describe the isolation she has to endure each time she comes out of her quarters.
  3. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 3, 2002
    Such tough circumstances she has to face with every time she ventures out of her room.
  4. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Oops! I was pretty sure I'd left a review on Everything is sewing, but apparently I forgot, so this is going to be a two-in-one.

    So, about Everything is sewing: I didn't know about Drabatans and this was quite the introduction! Not only because of this unusual language pattern (and I can't wait to see that fanon post, because you seem to have developed quite a bit of stuff about it) but also because of this amazing "old lady" character who brings everything down to her own dimensions and "fits" things in terms of sewing. I thought that the bit about making friends ("you a sleeve, they a bodice") was particularly touching, especially with the following paragraph when friends become not only those you are sewn to, but those who patch you up.

    As a side note, about Pao's ultra-long name (which I also found out about through this ficlet), I love your thinking that it includes both patrilineal and matrilineal elements – like the wildest combo of Spanish and Arab names that would include going back a dozen generations!

    About A Sealing Off: oh how I enjoyed seeing Telfien again, and here again you've worked wonders with her language that allows you to write a first-person story in the third person! Her story was really sad though, having to be always separated from her oxygen-breathing friends by the suit and also from her home by the Empire. This bit in particular:
    ... says so much about the saddest aspect of what binds these women together. But then they also have their friendship [face_love]
  5. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 29, 2004
    Aww! I loved this one too! [face_love]

    [face_laugh] I really appreciate Telfien's humor. It's quiet and dry but it's definitely there. Subtle like so much about Telfien is. [face_love]

    That really is true, isn't it? Everything about Telfien's introspection was thouching and poignant, especially -

    - this. Like Chyn said, what displaces them is also what brings them together as friends. They've bonded through their losses and are a part of their shared healing. Just beautiful. [face_love]

    I enjoyed this entry, again, and look forward to more! =D=
  6. Oddly_Salacious

    Oddly_Salacious Jedi Master star 1

    Dec 5, 2005
    3. The Findswoman / A Sealing Off
    I jumped to this after the beep-bop-boo-oop :r2h: petal because... Gand. It does not disappoint. Time to go and read the others.
  7. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Thank you all for the wonderful comments! :)
    Thanks so much! Yes, anytime she's out of her cabin (which has its own airlock) she has to wear protective gear, which means basically every time she's interacting with her crewmates and friends on board the ship. Which she wants to do, but there's also that constant feeling of being sealed off from them all the time, which I think must be a common feeling for non-oxy-breathers who have to deal with oxy-breathers a lot, and that's what I was exploring here. Many thanks again, and glad you enjoyed!

    (Taking these two together: )
    Thank you both, and thanks again for being here! It's kind of ironic: it's just when she wants to come out of her room and interact with the others that she feels the most barricaded off—again, probably not an uncommon feeling for members of non-oxygen-breathing species. But she does her best, and she makes it work!

    No worries at all—always glad to have you here, however many-in-one! :)

    Thanks so much! I enjoyed Pao in Rogue One and am still learning about the Drabatans myself; I don't think a lot has been established about them other than that they're amphibious and that they use volume to distinguish meaning, so I kind of ran with that bit (and I will try not to take too long with that post, I'll try!). I am glad you are enjoying Lua, who's been a fun and different kind of character to write (especially as I push on toward being "older" myself...). She's seen a lot of ups and downs in her time, and it's led her to understand not only how much of life really is about forming connections and stitching things together, but also to a bigger understanding of what friendship really is. As you point out, we sew each other to each other and patch each other up when we get torn.

    Hah! Yes, that's just the kind of thing I am guessing it might be, and something I'll play with further!

    Thanks so much—I shall say it wasn't easy, and I'll admit that I had to draft parts of her vignette in regular old first person and change them over later! :p

    Yes, being barricaded and sealed off is kind of the story of her life to this point, unfortunately, which is a sad thing. But one of the ways she reminds herself that she isn't alone is precisely by remembering "this bit in particular":
    ...namely, that the isolation she feels is not unlike what her friends are feeling, albeit with different specifics.
    They do, they do indeed—couldn't have said it better myself! Thank you so much once again. :)

    Thank you so much—so glad you did! :)

    Indeed—never let it be said that the Gand are humorless! :D

    Yeah, it certainly is true, and I feel kind of bad that after a long time writing about this species I hadn't really considered that perhaps as much as I should have. [face_blush] Well, this vignette gave me the chance to, I guess! Thanks again. :)

    Exactly. There are times when the shared experience of those barriers actually transforms into a connection—Lua might say that they're patching each other up and sewing an all-new quilt together in the process. <3

    Thanks so much—always great to have you here! :More will be coming anon. :)

    Great to see you here, old pal, and so glad you enjoyed! I figured you might be drawn to that particular vignette, and I hope you'll enjoy the others as well!

    More around the corner, so stay tuned, and thank you all again! :)
  8. Raissa Baiard

    Raissa Baiard Chosen One star 4

    Nov 22, 1999
    What a poignant look at Telfien’s thoughts here, and the various sealings off—mental, spiritual and physical—that she endures, not to mention the paradoxes of being sealed off physically from her friends but close to them spiritually when she is in the Mists in her cabin, but sealed away from them in her life support gear when she is among them. Either way is a sort of isolation, and for her, the isolation most people would find harder, being sealed into a room alone, is almost easier for her, because she can then walk in the Mists. I have a feeling that the others are more understanding about about Telfien’s need to be in her chamber than she seems to think. I’m sure they realize that she isn’t purposefully cutting herself off from them, and at least Shulma understands Telfien’s need to meditate and have that time to nurture her spirit.
    Yes, I can imagine it would, just from the sheer number of possible pathways one game would create :D

    I have to echo what other commenters have said—I never really considered what life must be like for Telfien, wearing a respirator and bulky suit whenever she is in a (for most of the Galaxy) normal atmosphere. It can’t be comfortable to have to wear that gear all the time. It is, as she notes, the price she has to pay for being out in the larger Galaxy and among friends—and to lessen the pain of that other sealing off of exile. Insights like this are why you are one of the best writers of non-Human cultures around [face_love]

    Can’t wait to see your next two entries!
  9. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Aug 9, 2002
    I came into this knowing nothing about your OCs, but I was struck by the depth of insight and also the humor - and the fact that you conveyed so much and told a complete story in such a short amount of words!

    Gotta love droid observations on meatbag behavior. [face_laugh] I like Rika!

    I was really struck by this whole concept, and as soon as I read these words I felt that I knew what you were getting at, on an intuitive level, if that makes any sense? And then the rest of the ficlet just confirmed that feeling.

    Okay, I love this. [face_love] I knew basic knitting when I was a kid, but I taught myself pretty much from scratch about three years ago, and I love it so much and have really enjoyed creating tangible objects that came from naught but my brain and a pattern and some yarn and pointy sticks. (If only I could knit and write at the same time, that would be great! :p) Anyway, all of that to say, I really appreciated this reference to hand crafts, and also the connection to engineering and electrical work and other kinds of technical fields. My husband works in a technical/mechanical field, and I can absolutely see the crossover between that and crafts like sewing and knitting.

    This is a really keen and poignant insight, and I really liked how you expressed it!

    Again, such a poignant metaphor, and yet not one I would have thought of. [face_thinking]

    I like how you zeroed in on this aspect of being different from the others, being a non-oxy breather in a galaxy dominated by people whose environments could literally kill you. I'm certain this sort of barrier could serve as a metaphor for all kinds of divisions that keep people isolated from one another, physically, emotionally, spiritually... very nicely done!

    And that's so true, isn't it? Just because they face different challenges, doesn't mean they can't connect with one another and form strong bonds. Great insight here, again.

    I enjoyed this intro to your characters and look forward to reading your responses to the last two events! :D =D=
    Last edited: Jul 27, 2021
  10. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Thanks so much for the comments, you two! :)

    Yes, they definitely are completely understanding about it, and Shulma especially would understand the need to have those meditative times alone—and that the Force/Mists/Ashla give us another dimension of connection to others that’s not always immediately apparent. If Telfien doesn’t realize that yet, perhaps it’s due to her own feelings of isolation and apartness getting in the way. But with more games of galactic tiles, perhaps they won’t so much! ;)

    Well yes, that, and not being able to actually sit near the people who are playing the game with you! :p

    Well, wow, shucks, thanks so much—I try, and I endeavor to give satisfaction, because those SW alien cultures are very dear to me and it’s the least I can do. [face_blush] The SW aliens books always talk in such an offhand way about respirators, protective equipment, etc., but it always seemed to me to be a much more complicated thing than that—wearing that sort of thing isn’t just like throwing on a tesh-tunic (see, e.g., Hoses, Masks, and Canisters). And how to balance that with the need to make those friendships that sweeten the exile so much? Zuckuss only shared his ship with 4-LOM, who’s a droid, so he could just keep the ammonia on all the time—but Telfien’s got not only a droid but three oxy-breathers around, and she feels she can’t cut herself off completely from them. It’s a balancing act, certainly, but as you say the others really do all understand.

    Thanks so much! They’re coming soon, as soon as the workday allows! :D

    Thank you so much for those kind words, Vi! It’s awesome to see you here, and I am so glad you’re enjoying these characters!

    Thanks! Droids just have that... unique perspective, y'know? :p

    Yes, that absolutely makes sense, and it means the ficlet did its job—so thank you!

    I have immense respect for people who can do things like sewing, knitting, crocheting, embroidery, etc., all of which are things I've tried at various points but never got very far with. It really is kind of miraculous how people can create something beautiful and useful from just a few raw materials like that. I guess I can kind of do that with cooking and words, but it's not quite the same! My husband is a techie, too, and he doesn't realize sometimes how close to a craft it really is—I think because his background is in theoretical physics. :p But it's good to have something tangible and grounding, too.

    Thanks so much! As was said earlier, making connections is what life really is all about. As with sewing or knitting, you really do end up with something bigger, nicer, and more useful than what you started with!

    Thanks again—that one was kind of a "sometimes I amaze even myself" moment for me, too! :p

    Exactly—any of those fits. Sometimes one really does have to keep oneself isolated to survive, as Telfien very literally does, at least as far as her breathing equipment is concerned. Sometimes, however, one thinks one does but doesn't really have to, and finding the fine line between the two can take some doing.

    Exactly. It's not a competition about whose plight is the worst; they know their plights are all similar in some ways and different in others. The bonds they form with each other go such a long way in surmounting those challenges, perhaps more than is apparent to any of them right now.

    Thank you again, Vi—really appreciate having you here, and I am delighted that such an OC authority as you is enjoying these characters of mine! :)

    More coming anon... thank you all again! @};-
  11. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Petal four, right here. Thanks again to @Raissa Baiard for beta reading. @};-

    4. The Pilot / The Glockelite Maneuver
    Prime Time Coverage

    “Hosrel Perimeter Control to unidentified vessel. You have entered Centrality restricted space.”

    Oh, have I, now? “Hosrel Perimeter Control, this is Marya-Glocke Sternenkranz, captain of the scout ship Rose Evergreen, and I have arranged with the Central Committee to—”

    “Identification and authorization codes are required. Transmit at once.”

    Sigh. Fine. “Transmitting.” Because I have them, because I knew I’d need them, because I thought we’d taken care of this long ago.

    “Codes received. Processing. Please wait.”

    “Acknowledged.” I wait. But I’m not sure how long the medical supplies in bay five can wait—the ones we’re supposed to smuggle to the secret subterranean research base without the Central Committee’s knowledge. Those freezepacks won’t stay frozen forever.

    “Hosrel Perimeter Control to Rose Evergreen. Your codes are invalid. Please retransmit.”

    “Er… acknowledged.” I retransmit, double-checking that I have the correct codes (I do, which I knew before). Perimeter Control acknowledges again. I wait again.

    “Hosrel Perimeter Control to Rose Evergreen. Your codes are invalid. Your presence in Centrality restricted space is unauthorized. Please leave orbit and exit this system immediately.”

    Kark. This wasn’t supposed to happen. “But there must be some kind of mistake. I checked the codes.” Meanwhile, the medical supplies in bay five continue to approach room temperature, but I don’t mention that. “And the Central Committee—”

    “Your presence is unauthorized. Please leave immediately, or you will be escorted away by a security patrol.”

    And, indeed, two hefty orange-red starfighters, each almost half again as big as my own vessel, emerge from the horizon. Fine. If this is the game they are going to play, I have only one thing to say.


    “Then you will be escorted away by the security patrol.”

    “Well, no.” I grit my teeth. “I… won’t be.”

    Rose Evergreen, if you continue to ignore our warnings, the security patrol will have no choice but to open fire. This is our final request.”

    Double kark. This is really not good. Delphine and Shulma are handy in the gun turrets if needed, but the guns on those patrol ships are much bigger than my bijou little laser cannons. I’m not sure we’d stand a chance if it came to a firefight.

    But I can’t leave! I just can’t! I have to get those supplies to the research base within the next few hours, or they’ll spoil and help no one. And I know from my contact that there is at least one serious case down there…

    All right, then! Time to extemporize!

    Rose Evergreen to Hosrel Perimeter Control. The hold of this vessel contains several kilotons of an extremely… volatile and explosive substance destined for… a highly placed Imperial client. If your vessels fire on ours, not only will the resulting explosion be… er… large enough to cause significant damage to them, too, but you’ll also… have the wrath of the Empire to deal with.” There. Not bad, if I say so myself.

    Air silence for a few tense moments. So far so good—I think…?

    Then my ship lurches with the sudden, distinctive lurch of a tractor beam, and my friend on the other end of the comm says, “Rose Evergreen, power down your engines and prepare to be boarded.”

    Okay, that’s better than being blown to smithereens. But now I’ve got a boarding party to deal with. How am I going to convince them that fifteen EcnaPharm freezepacks are actually deadly explosives? I’m only so good at extemporizing. Now, marksmanship, on the other hand…

    “Acknowledged,” I finally say, because what else is there to say? Rika questions me with a boop; I tell her to go ahead and initiate docking procedures. Then I head for the connector, my hand on my blaster.

    The engines siren downward to silence. I feel the massive thunk of the patrol vessel docking with mine, and then the door opens, revealing...

    “Administrator Qeek?!” Not some security henchbeing, not some Central Committee stuffed suit, but Administrator Xeep Qeek, my Omwati contact from the research base, the one I went back and forth with endless times by comm in order to plan this little rendezvous? I don’t know whether to be relieved or furious. “Well, hi—um—”

    “Captain Sternenkranz. I apologize profusely for the manifold inconveniences. You do understand that, given the extreme secrecy of our operation, it is necessary that we ascertain the true intentions of every vessel that approaches our—”

    “Think. Nothing. Of it,” I reply, my arms crossed tightly as I glare daggers at her. “Everything you need is in bay five. Down the corridor. To your right. And you’re welcome. (including Hosrel Perimeter Control)

    Except for the bit about the Imperial client, Glockel’s bluff was shamelessly cribbed from modeled on the one made by Captain Kirk in the Star Trek: TOS episode “The Corbomite Maneuver” (1×10). That, of course, is the source of the admittedly rather goofy title, too.

    Delphine is Glockel’s nickname for Telfien. See, for example, The Sisterhood of the Rose Evergreen and “Dearest Delphine!”
  12. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha 2 Truths 1 Lie Host star 8 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    Oh yes, we all know the essentiality of medical/research cargo that is temperature sensitive! =D= I can totally understand the need to be careful on each side but it's frustrating having to go through all that. :p
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  13. Seldes_Katne

    Seldes_Katne Jedi Grand Master star 2

    Mar 18, 2002
    "Sternenkranz"? From the notable Guildenstern/Rosencranz thespian family? That Imperial pencil-pusher has no idea who he's dealing with, does he? [face_laugh]
  14. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    Love the surprise meeting at the end. They had to be careful
  15. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Thanks so much, you all! :)

    Oh, for sure. There could have been some other way of maintaining the security of the installation without turning it into a test or playing a ruse! But since that's how it went, there were ruses on both sides, kind of. :p

    Oh, they have no idea at all, for many reasons! :p Glockel has been in my ocedarium for a long time in one form and another; I'm sure her surname started as a portmanteau of those exact two Shakespearean names, though the plural "Sternenkränze" turns out to be used in Goethe's Faust (part 2). It means "wreath of stars," of course; I was kind of going for a Germanic equivalent of names like Skywalker, Darklighter, Sunstrider, etc., that would be fitting for a spacer/pilot type.

    Thanks so much for reading and commenting! The surprise meeting was also at least partly borrowed from "The Corbomite Maneuver," in which the crew of the Enterprise finally meet the Intimidating Alien Warlord who turns out to be not at all intimidating. Yes, both sides definitely had to be careful, though, again, the people from the base maybe could have done so in a way that didn't involve putting the Rose Evergreen through quite so much nerve-wracking stress!

    Many thanks again for reading and commenting! :)
    Last edited: Jul 30, 2021
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  16. Chyntuck

    Chyntuck Force Ghost star 5

    Jul 11, 2014
    Glockeeeeeeel! And she still calls Telfien 'Delphine', which I remember from your 'Dearest Delphine!' ficlet years, years, years ago! Well, it seems that she's grown quite a bit, and I definitely need to make time and catch up on the rest of the stories where she appears. The title of this story is awesome and when I read it it sounded kind of familiar, but then you clarified this for us in the endnotes. And the surprise encounter with Administrator Qeek at the end was really neat, not only in that it provided a very satisfying resolution to this story but also because it allows Glockel's personality to show through. She may have grown, but she's still the same in the end :)
  17. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Thanks so much! :) Yep, same Glockel and "Delphine" as ever, and I am impressed that you remember "Dearest Delphine!" Glockel has indeed grown—gaining several new shipmates will do that to you, especially when it's your ship they're on! I also smiled when you mentioned getting the reference in the title—
    I've been rewatching a bunch of vintage Star Trek episodes with my family this spring and summer, so I guess they've been on the brain—and it's kind of fun to try some of the same plot points out in this different "star something" universe, too!
    As to the ending, that's slightly, slightly based on the same thing, only turned around a little: this time Glockel shows that, as the no-nonsense person she is (and based on the no-nonsense temperament I often encountered in some of my German travels), she is definitely Not Amused by all that Administrator Qeek and co. put her through, especially given the nature of the cargo. At least her mission is now accomplished, with no blaster fire exchanged!

    As always, thanks so much for reading, commenting, and just being here—always a pleasure! :)
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  18. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    All right! Time for the fifth and final petal of the Rose! Thanks again to @Raissa Baiard fo beta reading. @};-

    5. The Shaman / I Shall Return
    Fantastical Fencing

    From the journal of Shulma Trilasha Orrelios

    Last night, the Ashla seized me.

    (What gives you the right to talk like that, Shulma Vizuli Trilasha Orrelios? Who do you think you are, Osthi or Berura or some other one of the sage-maidens of your lost world? It was a dream, nothing more, nothing less!—But are not dreams the speech of the Ashla?—)

    I was seized, that much I know. There was a tremendous rumbling of thunder, a sudden tidal-wave wash of petrichor over my senses, and I was caught up in a rush of wind and light and star-clouds that lasted—oh, I do not know how long.

    Then it ceased as suddenly as it had begun, and I found myself in a strange place that was completely dark, completely quiet. As I walked forward to explore, my footfalls made strange liquid eddies that were suspended over... nothingness, blackness.

    As I kept walking, bright lines became visible, forming a path. Further still, and some of those same lines of light grew into archways, doorways, along the path. I began to hear sounds: voices, murmurs, music, but nothing distinct enough to recognize. Nevertheless, I heard myself vocalizing along with the sounds, as if chanting, as if attempting to make harmony.

    I approached one of the archways or doorways; it was all dark, and when I tried to enter, I hit an unseen barrier that eddied with the impact just as the path did against my footfalls. So I walked on along the path—the lines glowed brighter as I did—and approached another. Through this one I could see light, or rather a jumble of moving lights; I went closer and looked. It too was indistinct at first, like star-clouds or the polar aurora (which I only had the opportunity to see once, many dust seasons ago, when G. and I spent the growing season in the northern reaches of the Basalt Mountains). But if I looked hard enough, I found I could see faces among the moving lights, and hear some of the voices too:

    Mama. Papa. Great-Gran ’Zuli. Chorz and Chorg. Wise Chava. Rishla. Yhazi. Ninqua. My young chanters in the initiates’ class. Dearest, sweetest G., my mighty bristlecone…

    Assorted locals from my time on Svivren. Shopkeepers from the street where I used to live. The Human restaurant manager who told me I had to wear shoes. Lua’s Ardennian friend with the knitting shop. Dear Lua herself, and the rest of my new friends here on the Rose Evergreen: Glockel, Telfien, Rika…

    And then—flowering tree groves! Clear pools in courtyards of alabaster spires! Pearl-white cliffs, golden skies—and more Lasat! Multitudes of Lasat gazing up in awe—at what, at whom? Shamans and wise ones whom I did not know and who did not look like the shamans and wise ones I had known, and yet I knew that they were. And a sudden burst of blinding light—and from it emerged hands holding up a newborn Lasat kit, still bare and bloody and wet, crying with all its might! I reached out toward it, as if to take into my arms, and then—

    —a deep, rhythmic rumble welled up like the sound of a storm and drowned it out, and the portal went cloudy and jumbled again, and it blocked me with an angry eddy when I put a hand to it. And then the gloom parted to reveal—


    Of course G.; whom else? I have been seeing nothing but him in visions and dreams lately. But this was different (oh, of course keep telling yourself that, Shulma). For this time he was asleep, just like at home in our big bed long ago, his broad, striped chest rising and falling, and the storm-rumbling I heard around me subsided into his snores.

    Ashla’ka! Never in my life did I think that sound I scolded him for so many times long ago would someday become the most beautiful sound in the universe! Oh, how I saw and heard and yearned to throw myself onto that warm, strong breast and rest there amid his stripes, just like in the old times—

    I could not hold back. I hurled myself through the luminous portal, onto him. For a moment his softness and scent welled over me in the blissful thunder of his snores—

    —and I jolted awake in my cabin, where the only rumbling was coming from Lua’s snores in the next bunk.

    And that was all.

    What was that strange, dark place with the glowing paths and portals? Will I ever know? I do not know why I was taken there, or what it meant, or indeed if it meant anything. I only know that I shall return.

    Those of you who have seen season four of Rebels may recognize the place Shulma visited in her dream—it’s none other than the good old World Between Worlds, introduced in the eponymous episode (4×13). The portal through which she sees all the images ended up behaving somewhat similarly to the time portal in the Star Trek: The Original Series episode “The City on the Edge of Forever” (1×28).

    The characters Shulma sees through the portal come from various Lasan Series and Rose Evergreen stories, and particularly her diary, Shaman, Traveler, Oracle (2019 DDC). For the scene with the pearl-white cliffs, flowering trees, etc., compare Stand Together on the High Places, chapter 4.
    Last edited: Aug 5, 2021
  19. WarmNyota_SweetAyesha

    WarmNyota_SweetAyesha 2 Truths 1 Lie Host star 8 VIP - Game Host

    Aug 31, 2004
    Fantastic to wrap up with Shulma having a very wonderful unforgettable "dream." I love the lyrical vividness of her dream and I can well imagine it was one dream she didn't want to wake up from. ;)
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  20. earlybird-obi-wan

    earlybird-obi-wan Force Ghost star 6

    Aug 21, 2006
    a dream or a vision? She sure liked the place
  21. ViariSkywalker

    ViariSkywalker Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Aug 9, 2002
    Well, I'm always pretty amazed at the ways people can throw ingredients together on a whim and create the most amazing meals, so I'd say that definitely counts as creating something beautiful from raw materials! I can write, and I can knit, but cooking is so not my forte. :p [face_laugh]

    Those are the best moments. [face_love]

    I had the biggest, most ridiculous grin on my face when I first read this, so thanks for that. [face_blush] :p I'm certainly happy to spread the OC love and glad to finally be reading about your characters!

    Lol, Han's "boring conversation anyway" line springs immediately to mind... :p

    Ha, yep, I can definitely understand Glockel's frustration there! Thank goodness she didn't have to extemporize any further... or show off her marksmanship. ;)

    World Between Worlds! Yep, I saw what you did there. ;) I liked that Shulma was able to access it through her dreams. Was she there in the same sense that Ezra was, or is this different because she's not entering that realm through the temple? [face_thinking] (I don't necessarily expect an answer, as I'm sure that's part of the enjoyment of this scene, the not-quite-knowing. And I'm all about that Force vision/dream stuff. That's the good stuff right there. [face_batting])

    So heartbreaking thinking of all the little things we take for granted, like the sound of someone you love sleeping peacefully next to you. You captured Shulma's love and loss and joy and heartbreak throughout the whole World Between Worlds scene, and then distilled it to its essence right here. =((

    This was a lovely introduction to the crew of the Rose Evergreen, and I enjoyed reading and learning more about them! Congrats on finishing your pentathlon! :D =D=
  22. JediMaster_Jen

    JediMaster_Jen Jedi Grand Master star 4

    Jun 3, 2002
    Spectacular dream? Or perhaps a vision? Wonderful way to wrap it up. Congrats on finishing. =D=
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2021
  23. Seldes_Katne

    Seldes_Katne Jedi Grand Master star 2

    Mar 18, 2002
    Although I waited until this pentathlon was finished, I really am trying to be a bit more timely in reviewing, so:

    From the 110 Word Hurdle:
    Interesting how Rika’s observations and recommendations center mostly on technology. Not surprising, I suppose, since many organic life forms focus on food, relationships, and other necessities of life.

    Hmm… I wonder if my stories’ resident droid thinks like this, too. Oh Zeta, I’d like a word, please ….

    From the 400-Word Cross Country:
    This would be super helpful for any of us interested in writing a Drabatan character. (Not a group on my list at present, but that’s in large part because you’ve already developed them a great deal and are the undisputed Master of Drabatan Lore.) (Which suddenly sounds like a college degree….[face_laugh])

    As someone who does a fair amount of needlework, I thought this was an excellent set of observations Lua makes in this piece. Life really is about connections, of putting together dissimilar things that form a complete and useful whole, whether it’s bringing together people, resources, ideas, or a combination of any or all the above.

    From the 500+ Word Prime Time Coverage:
    “And pardon me if I ‘accidentally’ kick you in the seat of the pants on your way down the hall – it’s a gesture of greatest affection, and not at all about frustration or exasperation. Really!” [face_laugh]

    From the 200-Word Freestyle:
    I wonder if part of the perception of Telfien being “closed off” from everyone while in her quarters is at least partly because so few of fellow travelers can sense the Mists (or the Force, or the Ashla, or… yeah). So to them there’s no noticeable connection, while Telfien has a completely different experience.

    As an introvert, my need for actual face-to-face connection with other people is usually pretty low, but I do notice a difference between communicating via computer screen (or on the phone) and talking to someone in person (even at 6’ away). And there are certain people I enjoy speaking with/listening to when we get together. So the concept of walls and barriers, physical or psychological, makes sense to me.

    An interesting switch in perspective from Telfien to everyone else.

    From Fantastical Fencing:
    I know Shulma doesn’t see herself as one of the sage-maidens, but possibly a couple of centuries or so in the future, other people will. (Hmm. A time hop among the Lasat would be fascinating….)

    Although I have extremely mixed feelings about the World Between Worlds, this story works just as well as a dream sequence, with the doorways representing choices or possibilities or whatever doors are supposed to represent in dreams. Whether dream or World, I’m not surprised Shulma sees familiar people and places, those she misses and those she hopes to see again in some way. This piece has just enough mystery to keep the reader guessing, but seems familiar enough that we can recognize what is happening and follow Shulma’s vision.

    Overall, this has been a most enjoyable pentathlon. =D=
    Kahara, JediMaster_Jen and Findswoman like this.
  24. Findswoman

    Findswoman Force Ghost star 5

    Feb 27, 2014
    Thank you all so much for reading and commenting! :)
    Indeed she didn't, and I bet you can guess the part she especially didn't want to wake up from! Muy, muy prophetic, of course... ;)

    Some of both, I suppose, and yes, she did! And not just because she got to throw herself onto her long-lost husband ( :D ), but also because it appealed to her mystical sense, and she could tell it was a new and different kind of manifestation of the Force/Ashla.

    I try, I definitely try, and again, if you know how to knit, you have huge props from me! :D

    Yes, they definitely are! And they come so infrequently these days, with everything, so I try to cherish them (read: milk them for all they're worth) when they do.

    You are so welcome, and thank you for all you do to keep the OC love alive! So thrilled to have you here. :)

    Hah, yes, absolutely! Glockel is cut from similar cloth to Han, especially in situations like this.

    Now, whacking Administrator Qeek upside the head with a rolled-up newspaper for putting her through all this, that's another matter entirely! :p

    You are correct! And that is a very good question... of course, you're right that, this being a dream/Force vision/some of each, the answer is along the lines of "yes and no." I get the feeling that the WBW is meant to be a somewhat different experience for everyone who visits it, however they get there. More on the WBW further on in these responses...

    Oh gosh yes, we often don't realize how much we miss little everyday things like that until they're gone. =(( And thanks so much—I try! <3

    Thanks again, and I'm so glad you came by to read and enjoy! Always wonderful to see you here keeping those OC fires burning! :D

    Thanks so much, and thanks for being here! And I would definitely say some of both, and neither. For someone steeped in the Force this kind of dream is as palpable as waking, and all the lines can become blurred. But that's what's so cool about writing this sort of thing—the good stuff, as Viari said above! :D

    Oh, don't feel bad at all! It's always wonderful to have you here whenever you're able. :)

    I hadn't really noticed that before, but you're absolutely right! I guess it makes sense for a droid to see the world around herself through that lens.

    I could definitely see that!

    Well, shucks, gosh, thanks! [face_blush] They are still one of the relatively newer species to me, and I do what I can. Once some RL dust settles, I'd like to get that post together and properly posted. And you did an amazing and lovely job with both Pao and Lua in Final Mission, so by no means sell yourself short in the Drabatan department! It really meant a lot to me that you included them both in that story. :)

    Exactly. That kind of craft gives people an invaluable perspective on how those connections in life lead to something greater than the sum of their parts, and that's part of why I have so much respect for those who do those crafts!

    Yes, that pretty much exactly what she wishes she could add here! :D

    Good point; that's probably a good part of it. That kind of connection is a closed book to three of her four fellow travelers, and even the other Force adept on board (Shulma) is from a different tradition and thus still approaches it from a different angle.

    I'm a pretty introverted type myself, too, though I have to say that the isolation of the pandemic really ended up increasing my "people energy" reserves, and once things opened up I pretty much jumped on it. Face-to-face makes such a difference. Though it can wear one out, too, so it's not like those walls and barriers don't sometimes serve a helpful purpose. We all need them sometimes.

    Thanks so much, glad you enjoyed! :)

    Yes, indeed, she's there, and (And I agree! Shall put that in the bunny hutch...)

    Oh, I too am more than a little ambivalent about the WBW, to be quite honest. Parts of the eponymous episode are painful for me to watch. Here's the deal—
    The prompt I received in the Douglas Adams Quote Challenge is about time travel, which is not a topic I have a lot of experience with, but of course the WBW is one of the things that naturally (!) come to mind when considering the question of time travel in the GFFA, and I wondered if incorporating it into my own fanfic corpus somehow might help me sort out my feelings about it better. So although this vignette is not, strictly speaking, in response to that prompt, I thought I might use it and the "Fantastical Fencing" prompt as a warm-up or sketch of sorts. (In other words, when Shulma says "I shall return," she really will! I just haven't written that yet. :p )

    Thanks so much! That is definitely how dreams can be even in our world—and again, to a Force adept like Shulma, the mystical and the real are going to be strongly blurred in an experience like this.

    Many thanks for that and for all your kind words! Always an honor and a pleasure to have an experienced OCologist and alien specialist like you on board! :)
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2021
  25. Mira_Jade

    Mira_Jade The Fanfic Manager With The Cape star 5 Staff Member Manager

    Jun 29, 2004
    Don't mind me, playing catch up quite a little bit later than I would have liked. :p Because these two events were a very enjoyable way to round out the five petals of your Rose Evergreen. [face_love]

    Catching up with dear Glockel, first . . .

    You know, there was something very relatable here in being stuck going over something you already had taken care of. Even it the powers that be don't see it. :p

    Yep. That definitely sounds time sensitive!

    I was not expecting this! :eek: But way to go, Glockel, standing her ground! :D

    Definitely a time to extemporize, with what's at stake!

    And what an extemporization it was! [face_laugh] [face_mischief] This was so clever!

    Always good to have a solid Plan B. [face_mischief] [face_laugh]

    [face_laugh] [face_laugh] I can't blame her for that bit of sass at all. But all's well that ends well, thanks to Glockel's wonderfully quick thinking. [face_love] =D=

    The entirely of Shulma's vision was so vividly portrayed; I loved it. I particularly enjoyed her interrupting her own narrative to add this aside. On the one hand I can only imagine how monumentally bizarre it would seem to quite literally be seized by a higher power just like one of those shamans of old - one can only imagine the stories that will someday be told about Shulma's visions, that said [face_thinking] - but on the other, Shulma has had no small few incredible experiences as a shaman! Her humility is part and parcel of her character in an endearing way, just as much as I want to insist to her just how worthy - and indeed special - she truly is! ;) [face_love]

    Wonderfully powerful descriptions! And the first person POV just adds to that, as always. [face_love] =D=

    Oh! What a beautiful scene to remember in of itself. [face_love]

    Gorgeous and powerful descriptions, again! Wow!

    I particularly liked the phrasing whom I did not know and who did not look like the shamans and wise ones I had known on a technical note. (Shulma has such a distinctively poetical voice that I just adore.)

    And of course there are a few questions that beg to be answered here, such as the identity of that newborn kit. [face_mischief] I love that for as many things we can recognize, there are still questions to be answered!

    The interruption made this all the more poignant, knowing what we know as the audience! So close, but so far away!

    Oh!!! Beautiful and heartbreaking, again! I loved the detail about something that she had once scolded Zeb for being something she yearns for and even sees in a vision now! If only she knew just how real that moment was. But, soon, we know. [face_love]

    A wonderful line to conclude this on!

    Congratulations on finishing your pentathlon! I look forward to seeing what you may have to share with us next in this 'verse, as always. [face_love] =D= [:D]