Saga A Scoundrel's Life

I like the cat thing's previous name better: It.

 

Oh don't worry guys...it will remain nameless, except when Loch yells explatives at it.

 

LOCH:

I ran into my father today. My REAL father?and I?m still dealing with the impact of it. My reaction startled me. ..I think it startled him too. I was at a tavern near the casino with Talia, a co-worker, and all of the sudden I heard, ?Loch??

Then he slapped me on the back and sat down across from me like everything was great. It took me a minute to even register who he was, but then it hit me. And all I could think was? Gods, I look like him. I look so much like him.

I stared at him and he asked me, ?Don?t you have anything to say to your old man??

?Yeah. What do you want?? was, I think, what I said. I?m not even sure.

Talia took one look at my expression and excused herself to go to the ?fresher.

And I?I...all I could think was I?m not a little kid anymore. I can take him.

And then I started shaking. Like I couldn?t keep my glass from rattling against my teeth, which made me pissed at myself.
He asked me how I was doing. Joked that I was handsome just like him?and then he asked how Nera was.

I told him she was dead. Really bluntly. I told him how and then I watched his face. His eyes welled with tears and all of the sudden this RAGE swept over me--like he has the right to act like he cared! I wanted to kill him. I swear if my blaster was on hand, I would have. I was Nera?s father?and brother?she was MY little girl.

I told him so. I told him that if he wasn?t a drunk bastard who abandoned his kids our lives might not have taken the turns they had. That maybe she?d still be here if she didn?t feel the need to fight some stupid battle over child welfare, so other kids didn?t have to live like us. Actually I didn?t tell him that. I YELLED IT.

The bartender came over and told me to keep our voices down or we?d have to leave. I threw some credits in his face and stormed outside.

And my father followed.

?Loch, who was your sister involved with? Are you certain it was an accident?? He grabbed the back of my jacket. I turned like a caged vornskr and threw him up against the wall. ?Don?t touch me! I?m not the little five year old you used to knock around!?

He looked at me. Nose to nose. ?No? you?re not.?

I wanted to knock out his teeth, instead I dropped him. He shook himself off and stood there, staring me down. I think I got his ire up. I think that he wanted to fly at me almost as much as I wanted to lay him out. But then his expression shifted a little and he said something about Nera. Said she was a good girl and she didn?t deserve any of what had happened to her.
I shot back, ?Then why did you leave her??

He told me he didn?t have to justify himself to me and he pushed past me to walk away.
And for no reason I screamed after him. ?Yes, you do!?

 

Wow! That was powerful... and unexpected. Loch's reaction was very well done!

 

Yet another wonderful post! I love Loch.

I wanted to knock out his teeth, instead I dropped him. He shook himself off and stood there, staring me down. I think I got his ire up. I think that he wanted to fly at me almost as much as I wanted to lay him out. But then his expression shifted a little and he said something about Nera. Said she was a good girl and she didn?t deserve any of what had happened to her.
I shot back, ?Then why did you leave her??

He told me he didn?t have to justify himself to me and he pushed past me to walk away.
And for no reason I screamed after him. ?Yes, you do!?

 

I'm betting that his father had a point about wondering if Nera's death was really an accident.

 

From The Journal of Darth Sidious:

Shadows awaken and lengthen, as when the sun slips quietly behind the mountains. And I have guided it here.

I have set the plans in place. I have melted away the wax that fuels the flame, until it has nothing to feed upon but itself. Until the fire wavers and flickers as it collapses under its own hunger. Until it gutters and dies, and from it?s extinguished spark curls the smoke of its ruin.

I am that smoke.

I am Sith.

I am secret.

My plans are infinite. Weaving in and out of one another like the threads to a spider?s web. Interconnected. One and yet separate. And no one has had the foresight to weave this tangled a trap until me. Until now. For I am patient. And I am silent.

My writings are for my reflection only. For me to look at my creation as a cohesive whole. For me to learn from the genius of my own workings. I have ensured that none shall find them. They are secret.

Like me.


LOCH:

I MISS the way I used to be. It?s like this weird, physical longing sometimes. Like the way I miss a glass of wine when I?m stressed out, or flying when I?m grounded for a bit. Or a woman?s arms around me. But in some ways, I?m not ?me? anymore. I mean, I don?t know who else I would be, exactly?

But this isn?t me.

This isn?t me.

It?s who I?ve become.

 

Golden:

Per last post--Thank you! I'm glad the father confrontation was unexpected! And powerful--I was having trouble writing it. It was getting me shaky! LOL.

Vader: Thank you! I love Loch too!

arthur: you'll just have to see!

 

Hello Sidious!

Loch is changed! Loch is reborn a hero!

 

One more hand and then I've GOT to find a new Sabacc table. This dealer is way too... brooding. There is no way I am going to put up a speeder in this crowd. Do I smell tidy fresher?

 

But this isn?t me.

This isn?t me.

It?s who I?ve become.

 

I MISS the way I used to be. It?s like this weird, physical longing sometimes. Like the way I miss a glass of wine when I?m stressed out, or flying when I?m grounded for a bit. Or a woman?s arms around me. But in some ways, I?m not ?me? anymore. I mean, I don?t know who else I would be, exactly?

But this isn?t me.

This isn?t me.

It?s who I?ve become.

 

LOCH:
I wanted to shut out what my father had said. But it kept ringing through my mind. Even before he said anything about who she may have been mixed up with, I keep getting a weird, nagging feeling like I?m missing something. Like maybe he?s right. Like Nera?s death wasn?t entirely an accident. But that?s just crazy. I mean, even if she were treading into something that she should?ve kept her nose out of, I don?t think that she was an important enough figure to take out a whole transport for. A lot of sentients died in that crash. Not just my girl. Still?I may do some digging.

NERA:

I feel so despondent sometimes, like everything I stand for is in vain. I?ve realized now that the reason why some things on Corellia are so contradictory is that there is such a strong organized crime presence here. I suspect that a few of the people?s representatives were somehow put where they are by crime bosses. Funny, Loch has had some dealings with legbreakers and loan sharks, and somehow that?s what I?ve always pictured them as. But they?re not. Well, some of them are, but many of them are well-known figures, well spoken. Well dressed. In places of power.

I feel like I?m finding out that most of what Loch has told me is true. I used to think he was so jaded and cynical?you know, distrustful, always looking for an ulterior motive, or an angle to be used against him. I thought he developed that from our tough life, but he?s right, dammit. He?s right.

 

Nera, don't mess with the bad guys!

 

and now we learn where the phrase crooked politician comes from

 

I thought he developed that from our tough life, but he?s right, dammit. He?s right.

Still, I don't think Loch will get much consolation through this...

 

I love how you're weaving this together. And Loch is such a great character!

 

LOCHLANN:

I slept with Talia last week. I don?t know what?s wrong with me. She?s not even my type really. I mean she?s cute. But we work together, and this makes things so much more complicated. And then to top it off, I feel strange about it. I keep thinking about Kyrie. Now, Kyrie and I have never been an exclusive item. I know that?s on both sides, and it works for us, that?s why I?ve always admired her so much. She?s not clingy or needy. And now, suddenly, I feel that way. It?s like this whole run in with my father has thrown me off balance. I?m trying to find my equilibrium again, and he has to come into my life and screw it all up. Like he always has.

I keep playing my run in with my father through my head. I still get heated every time I think about it. I wish that I?d punched him. He had to plant the idea that something deliberate happened to Nera. He just HAD to. And now that?s all I can think about.

That? and him. I?ve spent half my adult life trying to forget about the bastard and he shows up again.
Talia thinks I should forgive him. Why? What do I owe him? How could anything justify leaving your kids after their mother dies?

The thing is, I CAN?T forgive him. And I can?t forget. And I guess, maybe, I can?t ever move on.
Nera was always able to make a little more peace about it than I could. But then again, she was a better person than I am.

And wiser as well.

NERA:

I wish I had Loch?s wisdom. He just KNOWS things, he calls it instinct, but I don?t know what it is. He used to tell me ?Honey, if you chase a sand panther, it?ll try to fight. If you chase a vrelt, it?ll try to flee because creatures do whatever is in their natures. And sentients aren?t much more complex. Once you?ve watched someone long enough, you know what they?re gonna do.?

Now, I?ve never been able to do that. So playing this political game is a little more difficult for me. I can express myself and my views eloquently enough, but attempting to strategize where my opponent will move their piece is a bit harder.

 

Wonderful update!

 

I love how they both think the other one is wiser!

 

Thanks vadey!

arthur: That's because the other one is wiser.

 

It's heartwrenching how each sibling thought the other was the best/wiser one...

 

NERA:

I know that people think I?m being semi-hysterical, but I swear that the Republic is going to collapse under its own weight. Politics have mired everything to a stand still. Once a bill is passed into law, it can?t be overturned. Which is ridiculous.
Theories do not always work when applied to a practical application. Except, here?s the caveat?you don?t know that until it?s been tried out. If it doesn?t work?why not start with a new one?

It?s like the youngling welfare system in Corellia. The old ?orphanage? system was abandoned because in theory, it seemed that younglings would do better in an environment that resembled a ?nuclear family.?

Except that half the time the sentients who take in younglings have an angle. It seems like they want redemption for their sins. Or an extra set of hands around to do the work on the farm. And there?s no permanence. Loch and I were thrown around to at least a dozen different homes that ranged from neglectful to abusive. ONE foster home was loving. ONE. And they were deported back to Cerea on a legal technicality.

LOCH:

I?ve been doing some research into the transport crash. I commed the authorities on Coruscant in an attempt to get a little more information. They?re claiming that some of the information is classified right now and will be divulged to the public once the problem has been definitively solved.

Sounds like a crock of Bantha crap to me. I?m going to take a ?vacation? from work and take my ship and fly down there to see if I can figure some things out. But first I have to follow some leads up in Corellia. I am reading Nera?s journal from start to finish to see if I can find some clues?names?leads?anything remotely useful.

Reading through her thoughts is a little draining though. Part of me wants to throw it in a corner and never look at it again. It?s easier to believe that everything was an accident. Because if I found out that it wasn?t?I don?t know where that would lead me?what am I capable of? What will I do?

 

Alright Loch!! Time to get to the bottom of things.

 

I'll say it again, I LOVE Loch!