Saga - PT Before the Saga A Shattered Minds Eye

Not my first fanfiction, but the first one I'm publishing just because I've found the topic interesting after reading Shatter point for the first time. The present-day sections are designed to be a little trippy, but that's the point. Constructive criticism always accepted.

Title: A Shattered Minds Eye
Author: ConservativeJedi321
Timeframe: Present 22 BBY-19 BBY (Flashback 61 BBY- 22BBY)
Characters: Depa Billaba, Sar Labooda, Mace Windu, Cyslin Myr, Yoda, Jor Aerith, T’ra Saa, Quigon Jinn, Sora Bulq, Kar Vastor, General Grievous, Other Council Members and OC’s
Keywords: Self-reflection, A Jedi's Life, Coming of age, Canon Compliant, Legends Compliant, Single POV, First and Third Person, Family, Friendships, Learning, Loss, War, Across Many Years, Trauma, Serious Topics. ONGOING
Genre: Drama
Summary: After falling into a deep coma following the horrifying events on Haruun Kal, Depa Billaba needs to pull herself together piece by piece and reconcile who she is with who she has become in light of the war.
Typical Disclaimer: I don’t own Star Wars, obviously. All this is the intellectual property of Lucasfilm and Disney.

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Chapters
Phase I Beginnings

Spoiler

• Prelude: Let me Introduce Myself: The Premise of the story introduced
  
  
• Chapter 1: Who are you?: Depa Billaba is introduced.
  
  
• Chapter 2: Where did you come from?: Depa acclimates to her capture.
  
  
• Chapter 3: Your Chains Are Broken: Depa is rescued by Mace Windu.
  
  
• Chapter 4: My First Mission: Depa helps Mace rescue the adults.
  
  
• Chapter 5: A reunion: Depa reflects on her failure and reunites with her sister.
  
  
• Chapter 6: All or Nothing: Depa tries to help the Jedi but bites off more than she can chew.

• Interlude 1: The Fires of War: Depa discovers a terrible secret.

Phase II: Education

Spoiler

• Chapter 7: Traditions and Exceptions: Depa joins the Jedi.
• Chapter 8: A Question for Home: Young Depa airs her fears and questions.
• Chapter 9: A day in the life…: of Initiate Depa Billaba (Part: 1) (Part 2)
• Chapter 10: A Reflection on Attachment: Depa gets a chance to talk about everything she is feeling and learn some troublesome news.
• Chapter 11 Faster and More Intense: Field Trips, lightsabers duels, and advanced training. (Part:1) (Part: 2)\
• Chapter 12: A Memory’s Blade: A cold and snowy world with crystals. (Part:1) (Part:2) (Part:3)
• Interlude 2: A Compromise of Morality: Depa tried to work with Kar

Phase III: Apprenticeship

Spoiler

• Chapter 13: Answers and Strength: A persnickety droid and lightsabers, lightsabers everywhere! (Part: 1) (Part:2)
• Chapter 14: Goodbye Sweet Yesterday: Depa’s growing up. (Part: 1) (Part: 2) (Part: 3) (Part: 4)
• Chapter 15: The Depths of Training: The depths does not merely refer to the training. (Part: 1) (Part: 2)
• Chapter 16: A Learning Experience: Depa finds herself back at square one. (Part #1) (Part #2)
• Chapter 17. A Dark Shadow: You might call it a foreshadow. (Part #1) (Part #2)
• Chapter 18 A Moment to Reflect: A new form and old friends. (Part #1) (Part #2) (Part #3)
• Interlude #3: Proper Introductions: Depa meets Kar

Phase IV: Knighthood

Spoiler

Chapter 19: Insight and Spirit: Depa and Mace part ways. (Part #1) (Part #2)
Chapter 20: Connection: Depa’s daily routine, vaapad, and a new tradition. (Part #1) (Part #2)
Chapter 21: Illumination: A look at Chalacta. (Part #1) (Part #2) (Part #3)
Chapter 22: The First of Many: Dead Jedi
Chapter 23: Look Back to see Forward: A funeral, and an old friend. (Part #1) (Part#2)
Chapter 24: An escalation of Action: A family reunion and a war (Part #1) (Part #2) (Part #3)
Interlude #4: A Light Lost and Restored: A Story of Greater Illumination

Phase V: Masterhood

Spoiler

Chapter 25: A Lesson for the Wise: Jedi families and Mandalorians.
Chapter 26: A Teacher and Student: It goes both ways!
Chapter 27: A Road for Justice: A couple familiar face’s show up to help Depa get dirt on a Hutt (Part #1) (Part #2)
Chapter 28: A New Trail: A lead, a massacre, and sand getting everywhere. (Part #1) (Part #2)
Chapter 29: An Important Decision: A “Judicial Action” and pivotal moment for Depa Billaba
(Part #1) (Part #2)
Chapter 30: Ascension: Teaching, Trials, Tournaments and a Vacancy in need of filling. (Part #1) (Part #2)
Interlude 5: The Rules of War: Depa has to deal with the strange reality of war on Haruun Kal.

Phase VI: Councilor

Spoiler

Chapter 31: Tedium and Refuge: Depa acclimates to being on the Council
Chapter 32: Refuge and Audacity: Depa works with the refugee movement.
Chapter 33: Silence and the Force: Depa takes a proactive role in fixing the problem.
Chapter 34: Age of the Jedi: The Warlord Falls.
Chapter 35: Peace before the storm: Ferocity, and a new face.
Chapter 36: The Uprising: The enemy begins to reveal itself. (Part #1) (Part #2)
Interlude 6: Lost: Depa Needs to find her path after tragedy

Phase VII: Rise of the Sith

Spoiler

Chapter 37: The Phantom Future: A boy with a natural gift, a debate, and a shroud of fear permeating the future.
Chapter 38: Coping and Enduring: The Council deals with the implications of tragedy and tries to get a read on the new political top dog.
Chapter 39: A Rising Darkness: The Jedi begin their search for the second Sith.
Chapter 40: Scum and Villainy: An underground beast ring and an old Master. (Part #1)
Chapter 41: A Dream of Regret: A dead queen and a mournful teenager.
Chapter 42: Rise of the Future: A speech that rocks the galaxy.
Interlude 7: Traversing the Shadows: Depa finds herself trapped in darkness.

Prelude: Let me Introduce Myself
There was a dark and formless abyss, not merely in my sight but in all my senses, a grand and perfect nothingness that was at once unnerving and yet for reasons I cannot explain also soothing.

I do not know where I am, I do not know where such an irrational void could possibly exist, I don't even know who I am. All I know now is the darkness, and for a long while I do not question it.

Eventually tedium sets in, and my mind wanders. Perhaps I am unconscious?
But this does not feel like a dream, I can’t so much feel my hands or my feet, but my senses tell me they are there, quite real and attached to me in a physical sense, not a mental one.
I observe the darkness in front of me with far more clarity than I think even faces can be visualized in dreams.

I try to rotate my head to see my limbs, to reassure myself I am not imagining this unexplainable sensation, but it remains stiff, locked in place, held by an invisible force. I lash it harder, and my forehead throbs in the effort. Well, at least that is a feeling.
But this inexplicable essence of restriction gives me pause, and for the first time since my arrival in this plane I began processing exactly the situation I was in.
I tried putting the pieces together and found that I only have the most basic foundation to work off of. For a minute I tried counting off the things I did know: mathematics, the sciences, I can name over a hundred philosophers, and five hundred Chancellors of the Galactic Republic, but when I try to remember where I learned this information my mind recoils like it's touching hot tar.

If I try really hard, I can visualize my own face, or rather what I assume is my own face, but the sight of it makes me sick in a way I cannot explain. Who am I? What have I done?

Am I mad? A dark laugh echoes across the land.
I haven’t gone mad, I’ve gone sane. There is nothing more dangerous than a Jedi who’s gone sane.

My eyes widen in shock. There is someone in here with me, and if I don’t find a way to get out of my chains then I am vulnerable! I pull harder, try to put one foot in front of the other, I feel my fear and anger boiling and for a moment it seems like my limitations are loosening.

But as my head thrashes, I see a light on the very edge of my vision, this ripple in the otherwise perfect dark startles me and for the briefest moment I halt my attempt to escape. Afraid that if I look directly at it the vision will go away, I try to position my eyes so I can see it out of my peripheral vision just a little bit clearer, and the beauty of the image inside draws me toward it.

The Past
Suddenly a tall, broad-shouldered man is sitting before her, a large man with dark features, in a beige tunic, radiating an intensity that should probably frighten her but who’s very presence seems to wash away all previous fear and uncertainty.

She sits across from him in an empty chamber, feeling shorter and younger than before, but for the first time she can look down, seeing her two hands folded in her lap in a meditative posture. The room smells of leather and dust, and a lone candle sits between the two. “It is natural to want control.” The man was speaking, his deep voice seeming to be reverberating in the light of the flame before them. “To the average person, wanting power over your own destiny comes as naturally as breathing. It means safety, security, health and predictability.”

The man leaned in, placing his hand over the light so closely it seemed to singe him slightly.

“The most important lesson for any Jedi to take in is a recognition that we are not in control, any power we can manage to collect with our own actions, in our own name, is fleeting. A convincing illusion at the best of times. The force alone will determine if we thrive…” In a quick motion his hand closed, snuffing out the flame. “Or if we die.”


Present
Shaken back to my previous position in the endless night, the memory restored some composure to me, and with that I actually felt the weight of my legs for the first time. I was able to look down, though I still could not see, I could feel my feet moving, and as they did the darkness seemed to shift, not so absolute after all.

In the far distance more lights shined, beckoning me, and I knew what I had to do.

Spoiler

"I haven’t gone mad, I’ve gone sane. There is nothing more dangerous than a Jedi who’s gone sane."- This is a line taken directly from the Shatterpoint novel by Mathew Stover

 

A magnificent start. I look forward to seeing what you write next.

 

I appreciate the support; I've been thinking about this for a while and have a pretty good breakdown of how I expect it all to go but things can of course change as time goes on. I actually wanted to wait for the Living Force to come out just in case it changes some of my plot threads, but I don't see a problem in starting now, I may just have a larger pause between posts as we get closer to the holiday and new year. My excitement is mostly what is driving me to go fast now.
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Chapter One: Who you are You?

This started as the happiest day of the young girl's life; words cannot describe the joy she felt in the arms of her father.
To an outside observer the circumstances may appear depressing, some might call it comical, but to the young Chalactan this was paradise, deep in the belly of a refugee frigate somewhere between the mid and outer rim, drowning in the stench of five thousand other beings of numerous species and ages; It could hardly be called ideal, but not only was this the first time in two years that her entire family was together in one place, it was also the fourth anniversary of her name day.

Across from her, her mother stood in a dark corner of the cramped common space. There was no place for her to sit, she had given the box she had been on to the plate that sat in front of the child now. The young woman was cooing to the baby in her arms. She was radiant in her faded flower dress. Adorned like royalty: the piercings of a Chalactan adept, and the crystal crown of a high priestess, she was perhaps the best dressed person on the entire cruiser. Her jewels could surely be sold for a hefty price, but no amount of money could replace the sentiment held in pieces which were forged centuries ago by her ancestors.
A couple holes were already poking through the head dress, damage she fiddled with almost nonstop with her free hand. She didn’t like talking about home, but the girl knew her mother felt a deep sadness when speaking of it, and each moment her hand passed over the damage to her cultural heritage it felt like a piece of her was lost as well.

Her father could not appear more different than his wife, he wore rags, his beard was unkempt, face dirty and hand callused. There were bangs under his eye's, and he was missing two teeth in his yellow smile. To a stranger he might appear the kind of person who would jump you in a back alley, but to those who knew him nothing could be further from the truth. Despite his darker ambience, internally he radiated like a star, his voice was a deep baritone, his brown eye's sparkled with the humor he could find in any terrible situation. He had honor, and a strong spirit that others would say is the only rational reason he could ever have successfully married so far above his station.

After being passed from one world to another, one refugee shuttle to the next for the last two years, he finally managed to see his family again, and nothing could ruin that moment. The cube of sour grain hardly made for a grand feast as was custom in their home world, or so the little girl was told, but to her at this very moment it was a banquet.
Scavenged together with favors and trades over the course of a week by her mother, it really could not be more perfect for the occasion.

To a Chalactan there is no greater celebration in the year than a person's name day, it symbolizes all that they were, and all their parents would dream they would be. The girl was told her name held a dual meaning, one that could either mean “Steady Breeze”, or “Stubbornly Defiant” depending on the context. Most simply called her Depa Billaba. The lights flickered as she took the small knife and made the first cut into the treat, and her father's folk song wavered only for a moment as she took her first bite. She could not pretend she enjoyed the taste, but she thanked her mother for the effort. Gratitude was a sacred Chalactan value.

Sadly, the older woman's response was cut off by a series of explosions, and instantly nearly everyone was on their feet. Her father swiped her into his arms and sat her on his shoulders. She saw above the crowd gathering around the window and witnessed as a trio of large grey and rusted ships flew in formation near their transport.
Someone shouted “Pirates!” and perhaps naively in hindsight, Depa felt only excitement in response. “Wow! Are they real Pirates?” She asked her father. His muffled reply, however, did not reach her ears. He radiated a nervous energy that seemed unnatural to him, and that tempered the thrill she felt in the experience. The ships she saw seemed small, surely only a dozen pirates each could fit in each one. Could they really be a threat to such a large vessel? But as the lights flashed again, a siren sounded, and the blast doors at the far end of the chamber clamped shut, it finally occurred to her that there might be other ships just out of sight.

A large, officer in a blue uniform tried to push his way through the crowd, and her father grabbed at his forearm. “I saw the crew when I got on board, you need help. There isn’t enough of you to defend against these raiders.” The two men stared at each other for a moment, the Chalactan had a furrowed brow that revealed not a hint of the fear he had bottled up. The young blond-haired officer had sweat dripping down his chin, and a quiver in his lip that revealed to all around that he saw death coming just around the corner.

Her mother was having none of this though. “Aqto, you can’t run off like this, that is not our way!” The older man blinked his eyes slowly and set his daughter on the floor next to him “Our way is why we are here to begin with, we need to fight if we want to survive now.” The woman passed the baby, Sar Labooda, to Depa's small arms. “I don’t mean the Chalactan ways, I mean our ways. You will not fight without me by your side.” Her father kissed his wife briefly, and with childlike disgust Depa looked away, though could not help but hear their argument continue. “Think of our children.” He pleaded, “I am.” She insisted.

Before Depa knew what to make of it, her mother bent down to give the two of them a warm hug, whispering in her ear she gave a firm order “Stay here, stay safe. We will be back soon.”

It was a lie; she never saw either of her parents again.

 

Another really good chapter. Obviously Depa was a very sweet kid. Her love for her family is very touching. It's a shame though that they could not stay together. I look forward to seeing how Depa ends up with the Jedi.

 

Chapter Two: Where did you come from?

Depa Billaba woke up with a splitting headache, her bed was a dusty rack, and everywhere she looked people were crowded in the cargo bay. To a child's eye the circumstances didn’t appear physically all that different than it did on the refugee ship: crowded, stinky, and loud. This cargo bay had the same dim lighting as the bunk given to her by the refugee group, and the floor was a very similar sickly rustic brown.
Despite these vague similarities, Depa could sense that it had all gone wrong. A small chain tied her to the box that contained her. The container she was trapped in was barely as wide as Depa was tall, the walls were a cobbled together Sheet metal and wood with small holes poking through into the adjacent chamber. The largest of these gaps was in the fringes of one of the corners, and through that one she could see and hear another human girl, maybe two years her senior, sobbing quite loudly in the neighboring room.

She tried to position herself so she could peak out of her limited sleeping quarter, if it could be called that. Looking down the walkways she saw she was in a corner, which afforded her something resembling a double view of those walking towards her and away at the opposite angle. Though she could only see any significant part of the other walkway if she moved her head by the bars at a very Awkward and painful angle.

At this moment a pokey faced Nikto and a Weequay were walking between the containers facing her mumbling to themselves. “How did we get stuck watching the diaper crowd?” the former spoke. “Edger told me he caught some Zeltron girls on that last raid.” The other one hissed under his breath, with a creepy toothy grin, and in a tone that sent a shiver down Depa’s spine. “Maybe we can request a transfer to his ship when we get to the rendezvous point.”

As the two turned the corner, the girl in the nearby box began sobbing even louder than before, and the Chalactan hushed her. She didn’t seem to get the message, only whimpering out that she missed her mother. This stung Depa, and for the first time she thought back to her parents running off to battle and leaving her to care for her sister. The Pirates had broken through, whatever her Parents had done it had not been enough. She wasn't sure why, but she was already convinced that they had been killed. It wasn't in her father's character to go quietly, and her mother would surely have been at his side. She could practically see them holding hands as they drew their last breath. That image brought a single tear down her cheek, but she would not lose herself as the other girl was doing. “I’m sorry.” She whispered. “But if we are going to get out of here, we can’t draw attention to ourselves.” The other girl quieted a little. “Do you really think we can make it out?”

The Chalactan wasn’t sure how to answer the question initially, but she had an unusual certainty that they would. Reaching her fingers into the small gap she took the crying girls hand, the only way she could show comfort with her limited mobility. “Yes. We will.”

With a new round of silence, she could hear their guards again.
“I hear there’s a new big client. Some warlords on the outer rim who is willing to pay big for these kids.” Nikto laughed in a guttural growl. “Probably safer for us to sell them to the Hutts. I don’t like working this far in Republic space.” The Weequay responded grumpily.
The Nikto spat a green goo at the foot of Depa’s box, and the girl had to cover her mouth to avoid reacting in disgust. “High risk, high reward. What’s the worst that could happen? It's not like they have an actual military.”

Before his companion could respond a shrill cry came from down the line and the pair moved shouting towards the noise.
“Shuttet you stupid little babies! Shuttet now or else!” The tone in his voice gave Depa the impression he wasn’t being rhetorical when he used the word ‘babies’ this time, and she quickly scrambled to the front of her box. “Sar!” She cried. Her little sister needed her, but before she could do anything else the Weequay turned back to her, pointed his weapon and a blue ring closed around her.

Suddenly Depa wasn’t in a cage anymore.
She stood in some kind of shuttle, the walls were a deep crimson, and at the control station a pair of beings were sat, one flipping some switches and the other meditating in an oddly serene position. The older of the two had dark green skin, and tattoos. The woman had a serious, and deeply edged face, quite the contrast from the smooth features of Depa’s mother. The younger one was a boy, maybe thrice her age. He had dark features and black hair. The pair were dressed like moisture farmers, but there was also an indescribable heroic quality in their disposition. Cross-legged and carrying a deep focus, the boy's eyes were closed, he may very well have been sleeping, until she saw the kids shoulder shoot up in an excited gesture. He looked to the other. “Master?” he called, turning to face the woman, who didn’t take her eyes off the controls, but rather raised an eyebrow, and held her hands steady in a way that made clear she was listening. “I know where the refugees are.”

Groggily, Depa Billaba’s eyes fluttered open, unsure of whether what she saw was a dream or a reality. The pictures grew blurry almost as soon as she pulled her head off the floor, and a new concern overwhelmed her.
Scooting stiffly to the wall she called out quietly to her neighbor. “Hey.”
No response. “Hey, are you still there?”
A moment passed, and she heard some shuffling. “Are you talking to me?”
The girl had a note in her voice that implied that she had still been crying.
“Yes…. What's your name?” “D… Dr… Dreara.” The other girl responded tentatively.
Barely registering the name Depa pushed on with her question. “What happened to the baby that was crying earlier?”
No response. “Please tell me.”
“I don’t know.” She sobbed nervously. “There was a lot of yelling for a while, and then it all went quiet.” Depa curled her hand into a fist, afraid of what it could mean. “Can you remember the specifics? What exactly was said?”
Dreara stumbled over her words a bit, but Depa got the gist. A lot of curse words, and another member of the crew warned the Nikto off, for fear of “damaging” the merchandise. The fact that Sar went quiet soon after led Dreara to assume she was stunned or drugged, Depa wasn’t sure which she hoped for.

The minutes that followed felt like hours, the next event of note was a rusty silver plate with a gray gruel on it that she suspected was supposed to be her meal for the day. She didn’t even look at it for a moment, choosing instead to keep herself entertained by speaking to her neighbor. “Dreara, where did you come from?”

When the other girl spoke, it sounded like her mouth was full. Depa didn’t want to imagine how hungry she must have been to eat the gruel so readily. “Somov Rit. Famine, we had to flee when I was three.” What followed was hardly an upbeat conversation, but it kept their mind off their far worse circumstances in the present. They had a lot in common, and some notable differences. Dreara had an older brother who fled the refugee fleet a year prior, her father died in a disease outbreak shortly afterwards, her mother made some money in the kitchens, but they just barely got by until their ship was raided a month before Depa’s.

The Chalactan in return spoke of what little she knew of her origins. She had been born on Chalacta to two parents of different rank, which to her clan was forbidden. They were exiled, her parents tried traveling independently for a while, they even tried to live as merchants on the hyperlanes, but inevitably found themselves flushed through the refugee system. They stopped at a dozen worlds, none of which could keep them for long. Her mother spoke of the home world sometimes, often with a wistful note in her voice. She was a traditional woman, and though she had never said as much Depa knew she always felt guilty about falling so far from her familial origins.

Despite that reluctant regret, she was determined to shower her daughters with unconditional love. Teaching them what she could, speaking of their culture and heritage, often with a very real pain in her voice. One that revealed a desire for her children to remember where they came from, but also a personal want to forget.
Theirs was a peaceful people, averse to violence. Their planet was coated in lovely planes that stretched as far as she could imagine, crisscrossed in lakes and rivers that ebbed and flowed all year, but the Chalactan's depended on them for survival.

There were seven grand ceremonies every year, and hundreds of lesser one's each with large banquets and cultural music everyone in the clan danced to. Every woman wore flower dress representing the clans that birthed them, every man wore a skin and reed tunic that represented the nature they depended on. The gentle Chalactan woman cradled Depa each night in her arms, rocking her to sleep as she spoke quietly on how as a high priestess each piece in her crown told of an ancient event that brought their people to Chalacta. There were so many stories of the practices and traditions that developed to allowed for their survival in the unforgivable dry season, or against the brutal beasts of the long-forgotten forests. The little girls' favorite tales involved the demons within, how the ancient Chalactan's fought themselves in a series of civil wars, it took them many generations to find the peace fueled balance they worshiped now. One that was built on a fragile and somewhat incoherent system of T'za Clan's cooperating in a pseudo hierarchy outsider often mistook for a theocracy.
Depa thought that sometimes she could see her mother's memories as clearly as the woman herself.

Many hours passed, and these conversations eventually died out. Depa was in the middle of a riveting tale about the Great Priestess Xindra the Incorruptible banishing the Blood Heretic Varntot into the Thorn Sea when she heard Dreara beginning to snore. Perhaps she wasn't as good of a storyteller as her mother. It probably didn't help that she kept forgetting a lot of the little details. Realizing she was alone now, Depa moved back to the rack that passed for her bed but could not sleep.
As silence engulfed her, a familiar feeling began to creep in the back of her mind. The mental pictures of her mother and her home world faded, and all she could think about was an optimistic but vague assumption she couldn't explain.
Speaking to herself, she whispered this hope, on the off chance that articulating it would make it real.
“Someone is Coming.”

 

Chapter Three: Your chains are Broken.

The cargo bay was never truly quiet, every moment of every day there was rustling, coughing, moaning, whimpering. The sort of noises you would expect in such a contained space where an indeterminate number of people were huddled together so closely. So, with time Depa managed to tune out this nonstop white noise, spending her time alternating between counting the screws in the bulkhead, talking with Dreara, and trying to relive her memories of her mother and father as many times as she could. Part of that effort went into trying to preserve the stories her mother told her in her deep memory. How many Qeil Trees were planted at the Peace Parade of 177? She kept wavering between three or seven, she knew her mother told her it was a sacred number, but it had been so long now since the last time she heard it, she felt ashamed she didn't pay closer attention when her mother had been speaking to her.

To make her feel better, she began to tap a tune on the side of the bulkhead, it wasn't an exact beat, but she thought her father might recognize it as the folksong he had been singing before he died. She didn't know the name of it, but it spoke of a solitary migrant, lost in the wilderness, a man on the brink, missing his wife, children, friends and relatives, but trusting the cosmic way and despite the horrors faced, he kept walking until he found the one's he loved. It was a melancholic tale, but one filled with hope, and one that kept her going even in her most hopeless moments.

She couldn't be sure how much time had passed, but she suspected it had been three standard days since her arrival here that the monotony of the sleep cycle was finally broken. While others snored and groaned distantly, Depa laid on her side, and her arm was aching as the hard metal slab she was laying on creaked under her. Her stomach was also growling painfully, and for the first time she was looking at the day's gruel with interest. Weakly she scraped one of her fingers on the side of the dish and licked it only a little before instantly losing her appetite again. At this moment she thought she heard a stifled shout. Shaking her head and rolling over, Depa assumed she must have been imagining it. Shortly later however another loud grunt was heard, and an audible cracking sound followed it, leading her to raise her head at last. She could not see far, the lights were dimmed, and the walkways between the containers were very narrow.

Still, she scooted forward as far as she could go, and peaked out of the bars at that awkward angle needed to look down the line parallel to her. What she saw led to a minor panic attack on her part. At the very corner of her vision, directly down the line from her corner cell, there was a mangled boot protruding from one of the far away containers at an odd angle. She couldn’t see the Pirate to whom the foot belonged to, but she had an odd feeling he was not merely slacking on the job. He looked hurt.

“Kieraz, what was that sound?” A woman called out from the other direction. Depa hastily fell back into the fringes of her cell and closed her eyes. Her heartbeat nearly masked the sound of footsteps approaching from the opposite direction of the fallen man. Whatever was going on she didn’t want to be a part of it. Still, as the woman passed in front of her, she couldn’t help but peek open one eye and see the gnarly faced female in damaged armor. She must be able to see her fallen ally by now, and there is an alarm in her posture that could not be put into words. “Kieraz!”
Her cry was muted by a boy's unperturbed tone. “Sleep.”

Then just like that she too was on the floor, her throat reverberating in a comical fashion that led the girl to stifle a giggle, almost forgetting the serious situation she was in.

The next thing Depa knew, she heard a snap hiss, and a beam of pure energy the color of aqua appeared between the bars, two swift strikes and the metal beams separating her from the outside world had fallen in before her. A dark-skinned human boy's face appeared in the soothing light. He had a serious expression as he looked in at her. For some reason his image appeared oddly familiar, and despite that she quickly closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. Depa Billaba thought she heard him snicker for a moment. “I can save you in the morning if you’d prefer?” Realizing she was outed she pulled herself up and looked at his waiting form. The boy was leaning on the edge of her container and tapping his foot impatiently. “Who are you?” She asked, no longer afraid but still somewhat cautious. In a swift motion he swung his blade down at the metal brace on her ankle as he answered her question. “I’m Mace Windu, and I’m here to rescue you.”

Depa tried to stand but her knees buckled. Mace Windu deactivated his blade, plunging the room into darkness, but she felt his hands on her forearms. He helped her stand again, and when she was confident she could hold herself up, he let go. Through the shadows she could just manage to see him smile for the first time. “Let's get this party started.”

She followed him out, and watched him cut open Dreara’s box, only then did she discover that where she had previously assumed her friend was alone, there were in fact three other children in that same tiny room.
Depa considered how lucky she must have been to have had a compartment to herself, and the sight of the other’s half-starved and clearly ill made her stomach leap to her throat. The small sliver she had seen of that cell from her own had not afforded her the proper understanding of the horrors the others here had suffered far longer than she had, and she didn’t want to look at it any more than she had to. Averting her eye’s, she glanced at the dozen other cells in this row, and wondered exactly how many others were trapped. Out of the corner of her vision she saw the blue flash of Mace Windu’s lightsaber, and only a second later felt a pair of frail arms around her shoulders. “Dreara,” she was surprised. “You were right.” The older girl sobbed quietly. “I didn’t believe you, but you were right. We’re saved.”

Awkwardly Depa patted her back as she cried, and as she comforted the other girl her eyes were locked on the new arrival, she watched Mace free several more groups of younglings until no occupied cells remained. The oldest appeared to be fourteen, he was of a fishy species young Depa did not recognize, though as their hero spent little time looking back after cutting their cells open, the eldest naturally took a leading role. Several children were told to keep an eye on the various routes in and out to avoid further patrols. Those who couldn’t walk were delicately moved into a single area so they could be tended to together and the unconscious guards were rounded up and locked in one of the few intact cargo containers. Mace had given strict instructions that they should not leave the cargo bay until he gave the signal, so Depa spent her time helping the others try to scavenge what little resources they could from the fallen and the guard station near the entrance. Depa had three days' worth of gruel she was more than happy to hand over to the sick and starved, it wasn't much but these people needed something, and they needed it now.

Finally, When Depa got a moment of freedom she ran forward and found her laser sword wielding liberator. He was crouched over a badly beaten guard, seeming to be rummaging through his supplies. “Sir.” She whispered in her most respectful tone, not wanting to offend him. He didn't seem to hear her, as all he did in response was pick up a ration bar from the man's utility belt and toss it to her.
Despite Depa’s previous hunger she only glanced at it for a second before looking at the warrior once more. “Sir?” she asked again. “All ears kid.” He responded as he picked up the man's communications link and shook it close to his head. “I have a sister. Sar Labooda. She’s only two years old, I last saw her when we were captured, but I know she has to be here, she has to be!” She shouted that last bit on accident, and Mace Windu gave her a harsh look, while putting one finger in front of his mouth in a quieting gesture.

“I… I’m sorry.” she stuttered. “But looking around I don’t see any kids younger than me. I was sure I heard her the other day, she can’t be far. I need to know…” She trailed off. Sar was her last link to her parents; she couldn’t lose her too.

The communications device finally flashed a green light, there was incomprehensible chatter over the static, but Mace looked pleased with himself. After a long moment he glanced at her and appeared to be the picture of confidence. “Your Sister is probably in the Nursery, one cabin over." A mischievous glint was in his eye. "My Master should actually be there now. Want to help me free the adults?”

 

Chapter 4: My first mission

Depa had never before felt claustrophobia, but she understood the feeling more acutely than she ever could have expected now. Four years old, she was slightly tall for her age, and quite thin from the limited amount of food even before her arrival on the Pirate freighter. She now found herself on all fours, squished from each and every direction, barely managing to slide inch by inch through the rickety air vent that connected the three cargo bays. As she scooted forward, she couldn’t help but wonder sardonically how air fit through these narrow tunnels.
In her right hand she clicked the commlink and asked the burning question that was on her mind. “Why do you need me up here again?” Mace’s voice vibrated quietly from the small device. “Two reasons, one: having you on the ground would be far more dangerous for you. Two: I need eye’s in cargo bay aurek, even if I couldn’t sense them, it would be pretty obvious that far more pirates will be stationed to watch over the adults than the kids.” Depa grimaced, unsatisfied with the answer. “I saw you kick the other pirates butt, why can’t you do the same to these guys?”
The next response came with a groan that told Depa she was testing her limits. “Because starting a fight there will probably get a lot of innocents killed. Stealth is my only option, now hush. I can hear you even without the comm, there’s an echo in there you know?”

Depa instinctively covered her mouth. Had her ceaseless questions alerted their enemy to her presence? She stopped moving for a second and heard nothing amiss. With a silent sigh, Depa inched forward a little further, and a few minutes of crawling later she found a vent opening, through which she could see a soft light coming from a lantern below. Around the light a group composed of various species was huddled, playing cards. Counting them off, she very hesitantly, whispered one word over the commlink.
“Five”
The response came so quick, and so hushed, she wasn’t sure she heard right at first.
“Find a way.”
What did that mean? Just as quickly as she thought of the question, she set a plan in motion. Scooting ahead towards the next opening a few meters away, she had to think about what she was going to do twice. Deciding it to be the only way, she dropped her only connection to the outside world down to the ground below. Mace’s voice echoed from it only a moment later. “Kid, did you hear me?”
But this time the gathered mercenaries did hear. Instantly they dropped their cards and raised their weapons, each turning a different direction too look for the fallen piece. One shouted “What was that!?!”, and the group spread out, alert for anything amiss. For a moment Depa was convinced she screwed up the mission, and she buried her face in her hands in embarrassment.
Something in her mind however told her to look down, and she did so just as the door between cargo rooms closed ever so silently behind them. She never saw Mace enter, but she couldn’t help but offer a whispered cheer as she saw the guard nearest to the door fall back into the shadow's unconscious. “Let's go Mace.” She felt so proud of herself. One of the other men had located her commlink, and was rolling it back and forth in his hand curiously. “Looks like one of ours.”

Another guard collapsed into the unseen darkness, while the one who found her dropped communicator turned to his nearest friend. “Did Amagi forget to lock his clip again?” For a moment Depa thought she saw Mace as he ran from behind one of the containment boxes but just as quickly as her mind registered the movement, he vanished. The two guards that were closest to her were turning around and began to walk back to their seats, and from her position Mace was clearly visible now: he was shadowing one of the guards from behind, barely a hair's breadth away from the bald man. The girl would laugh if it wasn’t such a perilous situation, she was in. Mace whispered something in the guard's ear, and he fell down unconscious only a couple paces behind the two remaining pirates, one of which was accusing the other of counting cards, apparently not yet realizing that all his other friends were conspicuously missing now.

At this moment the heroic warrior threw caution to the wind: he ran forward, his boots scuffing the floor, alerting his targets who turned in abject horror at the intruder, with their weapons only half drawn. The boy's fist collided hard with the first being's snout, not a fraction of a second later his heel busted the other's knee. A muffled cry was muted by Mace’s palm bashing the man's head against the floor and the last enemy’s eyes went out like a pair of lights. Depa was aghast, and amazed at his speed and maneuverability. In her frozen state she barely registered that the commlink she had dropped had flown back up like magic, landing back in her palm smoothly. Mace’s voice broke her trance. “Good thinking. But we’re just getting started.”

The walkways between the cages in this room were just as narrow, if not Moreso, then in the cargo bay that held her and the other children. It proved relatively simple for Mace to get the drop on the pirates making their rounds. Helped by the fact that many seemed clearly inebriated and uninterested in watching their backs. After getting Mace through the door Depa did relatively little.
Despite the challenge, she was determined to try and help. She scooted ahead of the warrior through the vents, trying to get a clear line of sight concerning the number of crooks stationed in each section of the cargo bay. If she could better visualize exactly what he was up against she could help him plan his attacks more precisely. Once or twice, she did manage to give him a good piece of advice.
"One down the row from you now." She spoke as quietly as she was able. "Another to his right." It wasn't a lot, but she felt like she was helping. In hindsight a few of her words could have been a bit more hushed, and Mace often had to duck into cover whenever she spoke to him.

It was only after she missed a pair of grunts coming from a dark corner that she thought she had already cleared that Depa realized her role had become entirely redundant. Despite no warning whatsoever, Mace managed to instinctively duck into the darkness of an open container, waited for the two to pass by, and got the drop on them when they least suspected it.
From here on out, Depa only concerned herself with watching the superhuman kid who single handedly seemed to be freeing the entire cruiser. She counted each pirate downed by him.
“Twenty, twenty one, twenty two.” She made bets with herself on how he would go about disarming each enemy, and secretly hoped he would take out his laser sword and dismember a couple of them. It wasn’t always easy to keep track of his movements, he clung to the shadows very closely, and sometimes seemed to teleport across the room without her seeing. Only when the alarm was raised did she realize her mistake. Mace was near the edges of the open area between rows of boxes, holding a burley green guard in a headlock. At precisely the wrong moment a lumpy faced woman rounded the corner. Realistically Depa knew Mace couldn’t reach her before she shouted. “Intruder! Intruder in sector 1138!”

Depa mouthed “No!” Mace glanced up at her position expectantly for a moment, and the girl thought she saw disappointment in his eye. As the blaster fire started, Mace initially disappeared, and perhaps irrationally Depa’s first fear was that he had abandoned them all. Tears streamed down her face, how could she have been so foolish as to think her job didn’t matter? He had asked her to help and she had failed him! Then suddenly the woman fell back with a thwack against the ground, but more pirates were running out from the crisscross of cells, and Mace would ultimately need his weapon. The light show that followed blinded Depa briefly, the entire area was illuminated by Mace’s blade and the blaster bolts ricocheting off of it. “You can do this Mace!” She shouted, abandoning all pretense of secrecy, only to hear several blaster bolts start pelting the ceiling near the metal tube she was hiding in.

Depa quickly entered a frenzied and fearful retreat, easier said than done in the enclosed area. To make matters worse she saw her mistakes more acutely than she wanted to admit even to herself. The Chalactan was horrified: In her excitement she had not only led Mace into being exposed, but now he was forced into the impossible position of fighting off dozens of pirates by himself, while also working to prevent any casualties among the captives, and preventing the enemies from hurting her as well. To her amazement he seemed to be handling himself quite well, one helmeted pirate fell clutching his belly, another cried in pain from an unseen wound, and a third was quickly disarmed. Despite the circumstance Depa held a hope that things would work out. By this point she was convinced he could do no wrong.

Then Mace’s light went out. No, no, no, no. Forgetting her failed attempt to retreat she pulled herself forward to the opening, trying to see better. In the darkness below all she could make out were shadows, and she couldn’t tell who was who. After a moment of silence, the sounds of a bone breaking and a cry told her a fight was still happening, Mace was still on his feet! More grunting, several of the silhouettes collapsed in pain before someone gave the order to turn on the ceiling lights, and that blinding flash disrupted her eyesight once again. Next thing she knew Mace was on the floor surrounded by the ten remaining pirates, his weapon was nowhere to be seen. She was convinced he would find a way out of this situation but the look on his face was far from certain. “You know I’m sure someone would pay big for a Jeedhai.” A scaly Pirate to his left spoke with a hiss. “But this one I think is too dangerous to be kept alive."

Realizing Mace needed help, Depa decided she couldn’t let that threat be carried out. She wasn’t sure how, but she had to stop it. In only a second many things happened at once: she pushed at the gate to the air duct, it swung open with surprising ease, she tumbled out of her hiding spot screaming into the air. A stern voice said “Two Jedi would be worth more than one.”, then Depa looked down, and saw the ground she expected to be falling towards remained static eight meters below her. Another blue blade appeared at the edge of her vision, the pirates turned, a weakness Mace exploited by tripping the nearest enemy. Two shots were heard, and the new arrival called out “Padawan!” There was a sound Depa could only say made her think of a loud breeze, and a cacophony of people screaming.

Finally the girl settled on the ground. Looking up through her tears she saw the remaining guards piled on each other at the far end of the walkway. “Master, I’m sorry.” Mace was saying. He was holding the hilt of his laser sword, a charcoal smoke was rising from a hole in its casing. He looked like someone had killed his pet, and his eye’s never left his feet as the older woman approached him. She did not look amused. “I told you to wait for me before coming here, what in blazes led you to disobey my direct order!?!”. To Depa’s immense astonishment Mace looked to her as if doing so would answer that question. Glancing around herself Depa felt humiliated, her gaze flickering back and forth between the young human and his green faced elder. Yes she screwed up his plan, but it wasn’t her idea in the first place was it? She couldn’t be blamed!

At this moment the boy looked far younger than he had up to that point, and for the first time since meeting him Depa saw a scared little boy not that much older than herself. She had a feeling that this was what it felt like before a sibling tattled on you. But he didn’t, instead he stood at attention, and looked his master in the eye.

“It's my fault. I misunderstood the signs. When I found her, I thought we could do this together. She’s the one I sensed back at the ship; she led us here. She's the shatterpoint for this mission.”

 

Chapter 5: A Reunion

Depa had a weak smile on her face as the doors between the cargo rooms were finally opened, and a rush of children of all ages ran in. Many immediately embraced the first adult they saw, some called out for their parents, and still others ducked through the crowd of people scanning for a familiar face. It was good to see so many families reunited, and somewhat of a miracle that in the fight no innocents had been severely injured.
Even in light of this fortunate outcome the girl had a sick feeling that many would not find what they were looking for. Her mother had told her only a couple weeks ago that their refugee ship could hold up to five thousand five hundred people. It had been nearly full when they had encountered the pirates, and looking at the gathered people present now she knew without counting it was nowhere near all those present on the ship when she had been captured. A few hundred at most. There were only two options she could think of to explain where the rest of the people had gone, and neither made her happy.

Mace and his master were having a lively discussion not far away, and the Chalactan sulked off to her own corner of the large room, finding a weird comfort in the confined space between two containers on the other side of the large room.
She didn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. She had messed up so badly and nearly got Mace killed. As she sat quietly near the bulkhead, she wondered what would happen to her next. Surely, they would send her back to the refugee group. Could she survive on her own? The relief movement provided some shelter, and weekly rations but it was barely enough to keep them alive even at the best of times. Her mother worked odd jobs around the fleet to earn some extra income, but who would accept the help of a four-year-old? What if her sister wasn’t here? If the captured refugees had been split up upon multiple ships, or worse…. her heart called out to know.

“There you are.” The boy was a little over two heads taller than her, but looked surprisingly short as he crawled to meet her in the crevice she had squeezed into so she could hide.
“I… I’m sorry you got in trouble.” She muttered. Mace waved the apology away. “Don’t worry about it.”
But Depa couldn’t stop. “I’m sorry your weapon was broken…”
He rolled his eyes at her words. “You had nothing to do with that.”
She continued. “I’m sorry I didn’t cover your back like I was supposed to, I’m sorry I shouted out when you warned me to be quiet, I’m sorry….”
She was hyperventilating now, and her friend was waving both of his hands back and forth in a frantic gesture. “Listen kid…. What's your name?” He offered his sleeve for her to dry her eye’s on, and after composing herself she answered “Depa Billaba.”
Mace smiled again. “Look Depa, absolutely none of this was your fault. I… got reckless." He sat awkwardly, unable to really get comfortable in the confined space.
"I feel the Force easier than most, so when I think I know something I can get a little bit cocky. My Master has to remind me the future is always in motion.” The cheer in his face faded a bit. “She’s going off to secure the bridge by herself.” He looked worried.

Depa looked at him in alarm. “But that's where the most Pirates are going to be! She’ll need help.”
Mace shook his head in response. “I don’t have my lightsaber, and she is adamant we will not put any more refugees in danger…” he gave a sheepish shrug in the pause that followed. “I really shouldn’t have even asked you to help me. I nearly got you killed.” The fact that he had used the same words that had been going through her own mind five minutes before was not lost on Depa, but she didn’t wonder about it. “I thought you said I was the key to this mission?” Mace seemed unsure how to respond to that. "I thought you were. I’m sure you are important. If not to this mission, then to me.” Depas' eyes widened again, and she looked at this boy she had met only an hour earlier and considered that she felt for him the same protective instinct she felt for Sar Labooda.

A light flashed in his eyes only a second after that thought came to her mind, and he pulled himself out of the cramped space. “Come on. I have something to show you.”
Depa only hesitated a fraction of a second, as she followed him back to the main gathering, she saw a small cluster of rusted GH-5 Medical droids. “This is what delayed my Master.” Mace explained. “Reprogramming the caregivers to actually give care took longer than she expected.”

Then she saw it, each of the machines had an infant in its arms. Depa immediately launched into a brisk jog, passing the first couple with barely a glance. Finally, the scrawny two-year-old with black hair and a button nose drew her attention. “Sar!” She threw her arms around her sister and found that the tears coming down her cheeks were no longer from fear or sadness but from joy.

 

Chapter 6: All or Nothing

Once again Depa found herself in an air duct, this time it was of her own accord though that made it no less uncomfortable.
After all the Jedi had done for her, she had to do what she could to return the favor. She wasn’t sure how, but what she did know was that Mace’s Master was going to get herself killed trying to liberate the bridge alone.

Passage between the Cargo Bay and the rest of the ship was locked and sealed. Mace made clear that the Jedi were confident their enemy's had to know the slaves were liberated by now, so the pair had decided that after the woman left, her apprentice was to close all the blast doors and fry their circuits. This ensured that the vents were the one way for the four-year-old to escape from the large gathering of freed refugee’s and make her way to the rest of the occupied vessel, and she hated every moment of it.

To be fair the connective tube between the storage section and the main freighter was wider than the one's uniting the three cargo bays. She suspected the containment section was designed to be jettisoned in case of an emergency, and that meant the ventilation system needed to be able to be sealed for such an event.
That was an image she really did not need in her mind right now.
Depa could hear a spinning fan in the distance, and the additional space meant air current passing her huddled frame was stronger now, and she couldn't help but shiver.
It wasn't like there was a lot of room, maybe two centimeter's on any side of her, just enough for her to slide around sharp corners, or past the various creatures that made this uncleaned place their home. As she forced her way through a Legrawler's web Depa considered the reality that was probably going to be having more nightmares about this specific experience than about her time being chained to the storage container.
After ten minutes Depa realized she still needed a plan. This was a poorly thought through action, even if she could find the bridge, she had no weapon and would probably just slow the Jedi down. But maybe if she reached the engine room.... ? Either way she needed a map to get a mental image of the ship, from there she could figure out what exactly she was doing.
After she passed two dead rodents that looked a lot alike only a few minutes apart she began to fear she might be lost.
Deciding to duck out of her hiding spot for a moment to catch her bearings, she instantly regretted that reckless action as she came face to face with a large, hulking, black haired Wookiee with a mechanical arm. Waving at him nervously, she tried to slide back into the air vent, but felt the creature take a strangling grip on her forearm, and she tumbled out into the main hall. For a moment she was sure her hand was broken, and as she cried out in pain she simultaneously began backing away. “Please sir…” she tried to plead, and closed her eye’s expecting no comfort, but the monster never touched her. Instead, she heard several thwacking noises, and the creature roared out in a fury all its own.

Looking back up, she saw Mace Windu holding a ginormous metal fist in his bare hands.
Though an impressive sight to behold, the words that were grunted out of his quivering mouth just then told her this was hardly a casual feat for him. “Run!”
She scrambled backwards once more, giving some breathing room between herself and the Pirate Wookiee, but did not flee the scene entirely. Instead, she turned around and watched the boy continue to fight a foe thrice his size and ten times as tough as he was.
His fists were like pellets shooting into the creature's chest.
His enemy was much larger than him, but also much slower, and much dumber. Even Depa could see that much after only two seconds of fighting. The hairy beast swiped twice at the Jedi, the first Mace easily dodged, and the second he used to catapult himself into an over-the-head kick that connected with his enemy's shoulder.

Another beastly roar led to the monster charging, and Mace leapt above the Wookiee’s towering form, throwing off his brown cloak, he swung it around the creature's face smothering it.
The human pulled down hard, but only caused the large pirate to stagger, before another swipe dropped the Jedi off his feet.
Fortunately, he managed to turn this lapse into a roll that landed him behind the Wookiee again, who had tried turning blindly and cried out as another twenty well placed jabs were bruised into the center of his back.
The creature was wearing down now, but not out for the count. He slammed the ground, causing Mace to lose his balance near him, and the Wookiee grabbed at the apprentice’s neck, pulling him high. Seeing her friend in trouble drove Depa forward, she grabbed at the fallen brown robe and threw it back at the monster's exposed head. An action she didn’t expect to have much effect, but the confusion it caused gave Mace an opportunity to pull the cloth across his enemy's neck, yank himself down, and this time the Wookie’s head went with him, hard into the floor.

“That shouldn’t have been so close.” the boy panted, one hand gripping the busted lightsaber at his hip, and the other rubbing his bruised neck.
Depa couldn’t help but tease just a little. “You really need to get that fixed.” she grinned. Mace eyed her as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard, before deciding to go along with it. “Blue was never my color anyways.”

Leaving the unconscious pirate, he took her by the shoulder and led her into a nearby room. “Coming here was foolish.” He spoke. “But I want to help!” She stomped her foot.
“You could have been killed! Again!” Depa folded her arms. “I wasn’t!”
“Because I was here.” Depa opened her mouth for a retort, but then realized he wasn’t even looking at her. Instead, his hands were dancing over a security consol deeper in the chamber. Then a question came to her mind. “Wait, how did you get here anyways? I thought the security doors were hardwired shut!” Mace didn’t respond for a minute. When he did his answer sounded decidedly halfhearted. “You didn’t think I wouldn’t notice you left, did you? I couldn’t leave you to run off by yourself.”
Depa felt confident she had him trapped. “You didn’t hardwire the doors, did you?”
Mace looked ashamed. “I don’t make a habit of breaking the rules, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell Master Myr.” Walking forward she tapped her mouth in a gesture designed to indicate his secret was safe with her. “What are you doing?”

Two quick taps of the screen and the distant echo of a siren was heard across the ship. “False alerts: fuel leak, asteroid impact, life support malfunction. Should make My Masters job much easier, if they buy it.” Only a minute later a message popped up on the screen indicating the first escape pods had been launched. “And it looks like they have.”

“Have what, my young Padawan?” The hard-edged voice put a spike through both their spines, and Depa knew they were caught.

 

Interlude One: The Fire of War

As I collect myself, I feel an intense sensation of loneliness overcome me. Every time a memory faded, I became acutely aware of the ever present and endless darkness that seemed to go on forever. That void made the lack of others weigh all the more on me, and I found myself craving the comfort of the past more and more. Reliving these visions gives me purpose now, but the moment I find myself back here it seems like these answers are so distant as to be barely tangible. Still, I find some comfort in the first few pieces of my puzzle: I am Depa Bilaba, I am a child of Chalacta, sibling of Sar Labooda. I am a refugee and survivor, friend of the Jedi, strong, kind, clever, independently minded and so much more.

I know I am still missing most of the facts, but each part of my identity I fill in seems to make the black canvas I am walking through less intimidating. I see more cracks in the horizon that before I thought to be perfectly blank. Sometimes I smell flowers, sometimes my hair feels damp, there are voices… not the intimidating cry from earlier. These seemed friendly, but they were only on the very edge of my awareness. I can't make out the words, but they are there. The first time they appeared near the fringes of my awareness I thought I was going insane.
I haven’t gone mad, I’ve gone sane. There is nothing more dangerous than a Jedi who’s gone sane.
That shrill cry again…. It sent a shiver down my spine; it sounded so familiar, but my consciousness strained at the very thought of placing it. Instead, I entered into a sprint. Looking for any escape I throw myself into the nearest glowing ball of remembrance.

The Past
The world is on fire.....
The dead were stacked on top of each other....
Her weapon was in hand, but her mind was frozen. She couldn’t process all that was happening. Death defying screams brought her eyes into focus, and her blade intersected a few gleaming red shots aimed at her torso.
“Retreat!” A male voice cried. She turned, seeing one armored soldier pulling another from some thistle vines. “Rocko is dead.” He cried, just before another blast collided with his shoulder and knocked him on his back.

“General!” A soldier with red painted armor approached her wielding a DC-15 rifle. “We can’t hold this position. I recommend we fall back to camp 3-8.” It was then that Depa saw their enemy, a motley assortment of people in scaled armor, some of which barely looked older than she had been when Mace found her all those years ago. “Yes. I think that would be wise Commander Grey.” She managed to whisper, feeling quite ill at the sight. Before her order could be executed however a large growl was heard across the camp, and a migraine inducing voice echoed in her mind
“STAND YOUR GROUND! We fight here or we die here!”
Depa took a moment to process what had happened, before turning to the largest man she had ever seen, a giant in all but name. “There are children here Kar!” She shouted back at him, an explosion nearby rocked Depa and Grey off their feet, but Kar Vastor stood unphased.
"If they are old enough to hold a weapon, they're old enough to die by it. This is the Korunnai way, learn it."
Pulling herself back up, the Jedi Master held her ground. “But this is not my way, and this is my command.” Kar stared at her, his expression betraying nothing.
Depa felt several more explosions rock their ranks before his response.
"You will learn soon enough. If you don’t fight the forest, it will claim you."

Present
I am back on the ground in a sweat, I don’t fully understand what I just saw, but I do know I never want to see it again. Whatever surface is holding my weight seemed to glisten under me. An intense feeling of guilt and disgust rushes over me. “What have I done?”. The words seem to echo around me for a moment. What terrible circumstance could have driven me to such an evil alliance? The ring of truth in the man, Vestor's, words worried me deeply.
You should never have sent me; I should never have come.
That same voice from before, I didn’t want to risk falling back into that hellscape, but there was no other way out of this situation. After some minutes spent collecting myself I pull myself to my feet and I slowly begin to trod to the next vision. I needed hope, if this one didn’t offer it I don’t know how I could continue.

Spoiler

"You should never have sent me; I should never have come."- Another line taken directly from Shatterpoints by Mathew Stover.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

That is the end of Phase One!
Each Phase is expected to be six chapters and an interlude, and I'm planning around five Phases.
I've already drafted the next few chapters but probably won't post the next one until after the New Year. I'm still trying to get the flow just right, and I want to do some rereads and revisions as I progress. I appreciate the support and am open to any advice or suggestions from any more experienced writers than myself (Or even less if anyone has an opinion, I will happily consider it!).

This is an interesting thought experiment for me primarily because Depa is a character that kind of clashes with my own natural instincts. She's a bit of a maverick Jedi whereas I'm instinctively more sympathetic to the traditions and institutions of the order. This is also a chance for me to delve deeper into the psychology of a character that has an interesting dynamic between both Legends and Canon that is both a drastic contrast but also extremely and interestingly reconcilable.

Yes, she does come off as somewhat mature even at an early age, and from my point of view there is a multitude of factors feeding into that. Her force sensitivity first and foremost naturally, but also her alien culture and the way she was raised in a poor refugee station. I expect that forced her to grow up faster than most.
Another important dynamic going on, that I'm afraid may not be obvious on the first readthrough is the importance of hindsight. The framing of the story is Depa looking back, and so there is a thread being woven of her reflecting on her life as an outside observer even as she is reliving it. In this context not all of her mental notes are necessarily what she may have been literally thinking at the time, but it adds more depth into her character arc as she is trying to put herself back together so-to-speak. In that sense a certain degree of her maturity at least in the narrative sense is because she *is* an adult at least in the present day.

Thank you for the reviews. I really am enjoying writing this.

 

I love how you write Depa as a child in a refugee shelter and her meeting with Mace

 

Greetings,

It's Theodore Hawkwood from the December Review Challenge and thought I'd give this story a looksee. I'll apologize in advance for some gaps in knowledge I have about different parts of the fandom, as I've only just recently returned to it.

This first sentence is a great opener. The stark imagery of a 'dark and formless abyss' sets the tone for how things are for Depa Billaba are from the start. Great way to set the tone right from the get go.

Great depiction as to how lost Depa Billaba is at this poarticular junction. Though fandom blind to this particular storyline I get quite a good sense that things are really in a bad way. This adds to the imagery of the first line without overdoing it.

Cool perspective shift from first person to third person and back to first person again.

Nice cliffhanger at the end of the story.

I appreciate the bookending of the memory with another Jedi and the imagery of Depa Billaba awkaening from a coma in this story.

Keep up the good work,

Theodore Hawkwood

 

Happy New Year to All and may many wonderful stories be published in the months to come designed to entertain us all!
Phase Two Begins!
Chapter 7: Traditions and Exceptions

“Too old. She is too old for the training.”
Depa Billaba found herself sitting in a squat circular waiting chamber, her sister napping on the chair next to her, leaning on her shoulder.
Mace Windu was on the other arm pointing out the various switches and knobs on his lightsaber, though to her chagrin he refused to let her actually hold it.
Mere feet away a gaggle of elders stood near the door to the room, speaking as if she were not there at all.
To be fair as a child Depa paid little mind to their words, it was only looking back years later that she felt the smallest prickle of annoyance at their quick dismissal of her.

She noticed Mace’s Master Cyslin Myr among them, and two of the others had the same green skin as her. She deduced readily that they were of the same species, a people Mace told her were called Mirialan. One had a thin and bony face, the absence of tattoos on her made the woman stand out among the three. Depa felt uncomfortable looking at her, in part because her upturned nose made her look quite haughty.
The other’s face was rounder and coated with long gash-like diamonds that made her look regal but respectable. Standing next to the older woman, she came off as cautious but not quite so rude. She seemed to be listening to both sides and it was hard to determine where she stood. Sometimes she appears in favor of Depa, and other times seeming just as reluctant to support her.

The hard featured one was clearly the most hostile towards her, that much couldn't be more obvious.
“I thought I trained you better than this Cyslin, a Jedi must have no attachments, no fear, no preconceived notions. Do you really think there is any chance at all that this girl will forget what she experienced out in the galaxy?”

The companion to her right spoke with a softer tone. “Perhaps the fact that she won’t forget is reason enough that we should accept her. She is strong in the force, no doubt Jor.”
The other woman snorted in response, clearly not convinced by her tentative defense.
“Strong in the force and dangerous Katri! She may be able to manage her feelings, but will she ever truly overcome them?” Jor folded her arms, stubbornly defiant.
Cyslin seemed unperturbed by the skepticism of her Master. “Would you rather her out in the galaxy? who knows what kind of damage she could do with her untrained abilities!”

Almost as quickly as breathing Katri turned around and defended Jor
“She wouldn't be the only untrained adept out in the unknown."
This emboldened Depa's fiercest critic, who responded quickly. "The real danger is in allowing her to master the force when she’s of the mindset to fall to the dark side.” Finally, another voice broke in, this one from a tall, gray, long faced male crouched over a walking stick. “That seems rather presumptive Master Aerith. She would hardly be the first to join our ranks at the age of four.”
Cyslin readily latched onto that fact. “Master Sinube is right, I know for a fact one of my Padawan’s peers was brought in at that same age after scavenging on crime ridden Nar Shada for his first few years.”

Hearing his Master's word, Mace Windu’s ears perked, he glanced between the two girls and his elders and seemed reluctant to leave them to entertain themselves alone in order to defend one of his friends.

After a moment he seemed to come to a decision, he closed his eyes and Depa watched the hilt of his lightsaber fall into pieces in his hand. The weapon had been halfheartedly patched before their arrival at the Temple, and she was surprised to see him dismantle it so casually. Finally, he pulled a crystal out of the casing, and placed it in her palm. “I’m giving you a lot of trust by showing you this, there is no more important part of a Jedi’s weapon, and I’m going to want it back.”
Depa’s eyes lit up, as she cupped the crystal delicately in her small palm. There is nothing a four-year-old loved more than being told they were being trusted with something important!
She nodded readily, eye’s glistening in the pretty sparkles of the natural wonder in her hand. She barely noticed as Mace walked away.

“Eeth Koth is one of the best apprentices of my generation, his past has made him a better Jedi than most ever aspire to be. He has skills no other Jedi has, his empathy rivals that of the Iktotchi and the other telepathic race’s….” “You mean his attachment to the world around him.” Jor Aerith argued pointedly. “I swear, he’s going to find himself kicked out of this order someday.”

Mace opened his mouth as if to bite back, but another Master spoke from behind the gathered trio of Mirialan.
“Exceptions can be made, yes, but if frequent they are, then they are no longer exceptions, hmmm.”
A small green gremlin creature hobbled his way into view and tapped his own wooden walking stick expectantly.
Master Sinube smiled at the new arrival and nodded in partial agreement. “A good reason must be given I agree, but we should hardly say two four-year-olds in ten years is anything extraordinary.”

Master Aerith raised her arms as if she was at her wits end. “Yes, only two in ten years, but hardly the only two in recent memory. Lest we forget Master Yoda’s old Padawan, the Cerean. He too came to us late!”

The Other Masters were struck silent, and the gremlin eyed Aerith with a look Depa could never truly decipher. Finally, Aerith bowed her head.
“My apologies Master Yoda, it is not my place to demean your apprentices.”
To everyone’s surprise Yoda did not reproach her but rather laughed, an impish laugh that eased all tensions. “All opinions in this Council of value are, but not even you can deny, Master Aerith, that Ki-Adi Mundi has become a great Jedi even by your own high standards.”

A calm settled in the room; the elder Jedi commanded such a respect that it was immediately apparent whichever way he came down everyone else would naturally follow. As he turned to Mace and Master Myr he asked with an authentic openness in his tone. “A reason there must be, so a reason you have, yes?”

Myr turned to her Padawan, and while there was little warmth in her tone there was a defensive edge to it. “Mace Windu says she is important, I trust him.”
Mace looked away embarrassed, or maybe he wasn’t sure how to handle his Master deferring to him in this instance.
“He’s stubborn, he can get tunnel vision at times, and as with many Padawan’s he’s occasionally disobedient.” These words hit him like a ton of permacrete, and his eyes met his master's with disappointment, yet no apparent offense. “But his instincts are better than most Masters. When he says something is important, it is.”

Mace raised his hands in a defensive gesture. “I can’t exactly articulate what I am sensing…”

The Masters passed glances around each other as if these words alone told them all they needed.
“But she unconsciously reached out to me when she was captured." Mace hastily continued. "She helped me free the adults, she has the maturity of someone far older than herself and an innate self-sacrificing instinct that even a fully trained Jedi can struggle to maintain. If she can’t overcome her past, nobody can.”
Yoda nodded along with each word, and the first person he looked to was Master Sinube. “Long have we known of his affinity for shatterpoints.”
There was that word again, Depa wasn’t sure what it meant but the other Jedi all seemed to understand instinctively. “It's not an exact science.” Katri conceded.
“But little in the force is.” The long-faced alien smiled.

No words were spoken following this, it was as if a whole conversation was being had in the back of their minds that Depa knew nothing of.
When the Masters turned and left Depa and her rescuers alone there was relief in the air.
“You were most fortunate, Padawan.” the Mirialan spoke bluntly. “Your record speaks for itself.”
Mace looked as if he didn’t believe what he had seen but offered a deep bow to his teacher. “They never would have considered my proposal without you backing me up Master. Your reputation carries far greater weight than my record.”
One corner of Cyslins mouth peaked as if she was preparing to tell an especially witty joke. “Don’t thank me yet Padawan, let's not forget you have Refresher Cleaning duty for the next ninety days as reparations for disobeying me twice. Now get your Kyber crystal back before the infant chokes on it.”

Depa looked down and sure enough her sister was now awake, gazing at the beautiful relic in her hand, it truly had a hypnotic quality to it, and now one day she would have her own.

 

Chapter 8: A Question for Home

The weight of the last few days fell down on Depa’s shoulders all at once, and that wave of exhaustion made it hard to stand when Mace suggested he would lead her to her quarters. She took his hand, and only looked back for a second to see her sister being taken away in the arms of Cyslin Myr.

The halls were nearly empty as it was late into the twentieth hour of that day, and even those few strange aliens they passed as they walked didn’t interest the girl. Instead the numb feeling that had guided her this far lifted from her mind and tears began to well in her eye’s.
She missed her mother,
She missed her father,
She already missed her sister,
She worried about the other children, infants and adults that were rescued but ultimately passed back to the refugee movement without a second thought.

They had captured the freighter and used it to carry everyone back to a Republic Outpost where they had received food and medical support. A small team of other Jedi had boarded and taken the captured pirates into custody. Then Mace had asked her and Sar to join him and the Jedi back on Coruscant. She had nowhere else to go, but still looking back it felt wrong to leave the others. Would they be safe? What if another raid took them? She remembered what she had overheard when locked in her compartment: there were other teams or pirates operating deep in the Republic Space, unusually bold for criminals. Stopping one crew from delivering their cargo hardly seemed to matter in the grand scheme of things.

Despite this conflict, a part of her felt lucky to have found this place, simply looking through the large windows and seeing the seemingly infinite number of lights passing by her every second made her feel so small.

Mace Windu’s hand touched her shoulder, an attempt at comfort even as his face remained stoney and mute. She trusted him but did not understand him, at least not completely.
She wanted to know more, and so begrudgingly broke the silence.
“Will I see Sar again?” she asked as they passed over a large terrace. He hesitated, and that moment before his answer broke her heart in a way she knew would never be fully repaired. “She will be assigned to her own Creche. She is staying here as you are, but the Temple is a large place.”
He was clearly searching for the right words.
“Look at it this way, you no longer have one sibling. You have ten thousand, and countless others who are going to depend on you now.” He glanced down at her, but there was an uncertainty in his eye.
“Mace. Can you read minds?”
This honest question brought a full smile to his face, clearly, he found it funny for some reason. “‘Reading minds’ probably isn’t the best description for it.”
He raised his free hand in a reverential gesture.
“The Force flows through all things, we aren’t just crude matter, we are ethereal.”
Looking back at her, he seemed to be on a roll.
“I feel it like a great body of water, and your thoughts echo like boulders dropped in it. As you get older you will be able to control them better.”
Depa gave him a look that must have communicated her befuddlement with his words.
“Yes, I can read minds.” He sighed.
“Then you know what I’m thinking now.” she responded, a little weirded out, but also kind of hoping for a positive answer.

He stopped walking and turned towards her. “I know you are in pain; you miss your family, you worry about the other refugee’s.” There was a sympathy in his voice, and the weaker smile that followed was sincere. “You are bubbling with about fifty other questions only tempered by the fact that you know you will pass out the moment you lay down.”

Depa grinned weakly in return, if she didn’t understand him at least he understood her. She wasn’t sure why that tamed the worry on her heart.

They entered a lift, and Depa leaned on him momentarily, finding contentment in the warmth of the sleeve of his robe, she closed her eyes. “Will I really be a Jedi, like you?” she felt him move in a way she interpreted as a nod. “Given time. I’m going to ask you to spend some parts of your day receiving counseling from Master T'ra Saa, she’s a skilled empath, who can help you overcome all that has happened. Or at least compartmentalize it.”

When the door slid back open, Mace shook his arm gently and roused her back to attention. Once again, she was astounded by the size of the Jedi Temple, as they walked down the long hall before them, she saw only one other being in the area, and she was waiting at a door nearby. An older Jedi, she had brown hair and a similar diminutive size and green skin as the Master known as Yoda.
“Master Yaddle.” Mace gestured to her. “This is our newest Initiate, Depa Billaba.”
The kindly creature smiled and radiated positive energies that immediately made the Chalactan feel at home. “A pleasure to meet you.” the green skinned Jedi said. “You will be joining Clawmouse clan.” Mace nudged her to approach the Master and after a moment she did so. “A bit late to introduce you now, but in the morning, I am sure the rest would love to welcome you.” She turned and the door next to her slid open, Depa couldn’t help but look back.
“Will I see you again?” She called out to Mace Windu.
This time there was no hesitation. “I would count on it.”
This was a relief, and she followed Yaddle without question.
All she wanted now was sleep.
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Authors Note: The Next few chapters grow exponentially longer and thus I may end up dividing them into multiple posts to make them more readable.

 

Great interactions between Mace and Depa. And knowing more about her and how she was resqued. Nice to see you continuing this intriguing look into Depa

 

Chapter 9: A day in the life… (Part 1)

Words could not describe Depa’s disappointment when she learned that a Jedi’s waking routine began before dawn. The first day was of course the worst. Her scattered dreams were washed away by a blinding light, and only a moment later the sound of dozens of other kids scrambling out of bed and getting dressed. She didn’t want to wake up though and pretended to be unperturbed by the distractions. Even as she rolled over onto her stomach, she realized this pretense could not last long.

“Awaken. There is a long day ahead.” This familiar voice jarred her eyes open, and she was greeted by the smiling face of Master Yaddle. The small green female had a squarely folded beige tunic in her hands and placed it delicately on her mattress. “You may find the refresher near the entrance.” She pointed down the line of beds, where a large number of younglings were gathered chatting eagerly about the day ahead. “Meet me outside when you are ready.”

Depa groaned into her pillow, before forcing herself to flop on the floor, she grabbed the tunic and tentatively went about getting ready for the day. So many other children were running between the bed posts, she nearly toppled over another girl the moment she tried to take a step out of her row. Careful to Avoid the others now, she followed the Masters directions into the refresher.

It was a large cream tiled room that was consumed by the busy morning routines of children aged from three to eighteen. The oldest of which were aided by a couple droids in helping the youngest clean themselves and get dressed.
Depa paid little mind to them, simply finding the nearest open waterspout, next to which she found a small package that had her name on it. She turned a knob and splashed her face, and stared at the stranger in the mirror, as she barely recognized the greasy looking black-haired girl looking back at her.

Choosing to hide behind the privacy screen of one of the free wash stations, she pulled out some hygiene products and for the first time in who knows how long she cleaned her mouth, sudsed her hair, and scrubbed herself until she felt clean and tidy. It wasn’t easy to straighten the tangled mess on her head, but when she managed to get it running smoothly down her to her shoulders, she felt an odd sense of pride at the accomplishment.
Drying quickly, she dressed in the monk's tunic and found her way out through the crowd, easily pushing her way to Master Yaddle who happily greeted her at the entrance of the sleeping quarters. “This way.” She signaled for Depa to follow. “Clawmouse clan always begins its day with meditation exercises.”

They passed through a long series of training halls and Depa saw a number of younglings representing all species pass by on their way to their morning studies. Some waved at her, and she shyly nodded back. Finally, they entered a large chamber of a room lined with flowerpots, in the middle of it was a small fountain where ten kids around her age sat in a circle with their legs crossed.

In front of them meditated a familiar tall and boney-faced Mirialan. “Master Aerith.” Yaddle offered an introduction. “You’re late.” the other Master answered in an irate tone. Depa recognized her from the group gathered the previous night and found the woman to be quite cold in contrast to Yaddle’s warmth. “I’m sorry.” Depa whispered, but her companion seemed unperturbed. “Most Clans have up to twelve members, and each one is led by one Master responsible for overseeing your training. She will take you to your classes, test your recollection at the end of the day, and teach you the ways of the Jedi.”

Aerith had stood, clapped her hands and drew her clan to attention. “Everyone, we have a new initiate joining us today. Meet… Depa Billaba.” She gestured stiffly towards the new arrival. Depa tried to smile but it came off as awkward and forced. “Does she teach every class?” Depa asked mutely, but clearly too loud as several in the group before her held back childish giggles at the question. Yaddle shook her head, and Depa felt a degree of relief at that answer.
“Take a seat.” Aerith pointed towards an open spot. “There will be plenty of time to play the jester later.”
Depa hastily did as she was told, and her Jedi training began.

It was a strict routine.

For the first hour of the day they meditated, it was a different location in the temple every day, and she often got lost on the way there. Aerith had little tolerance for tardiness and those who showed up last had to take the spot right next to her watchful eye. Even with such close supervision she often struggled to find the inner peace Master Aerith demanded. Instead, she fidgeted, and daydreamed, imagining what it would be like to be a Knight, waving a lightsaber around and lifting rocks with her mind. Sometimes she wondered what her parents would think of all that had happened to her. Such contemplations only served to further distract her and given she still hadn’t learned to “master her thoughts” as Mace had suggested it was always an awkward moment when Aerith called her out for being more invested in adventure and excitement than calm tranquility and peace. This usually meant Depa had to leave meditation last as their Master assumed that those who struggled so simply needed more practice.

The second hour of the day was for the morning meal in one of the smaller refectories near the youngling dorms. This was her first chance to get to know her clanmates, but she quickly decided that she had little incentive too. She learned very quickly that the stout Roonan called Maton proved himself the attention seeker. Pretty much immediately after being released from meditation he approached her and called her weird. When a pair of human boys scolded him for it he tried defending himself. “I’m just saying most of us have been here for years, it's weird to have someone brought in late like this.”

Depa ignored him, instead following Aerith, and looking at each of the other clans of younglings that passed by them, paying particular attention to faces. Of course, she knew she wasn’t going to be seeing her sister, she doubted two-year-olds had the same schedule as the older kids. But one day she would surely appear among the gathered young Jedi traveling between classes. Depa would never forget her, and always hoped to see that face she recognized among the wandering Jedi. The Chalactan grabbed her meal and sat in a far-off corner: near the door, but away from the other younglings. It wasn’t until her third day that she made her first real friends. As she sat by herself, carefully watching the people who entered and left, someone coughed from behind her. “Mind if we take these spots?” The human and Twi’lek pair smiled at her, and after a moment of surprise she nodded. “I’m Khaat Qiyn, this is Finn Ertay.” From that moment on the trio was inseparable.

The third hour of the day was Defensive Education led by Master Sinube in the Hall of Endurance. It was a sight to behold, watching her peers do somersaults and headstands as if they were light as a feather. Depa found it difficult to do more than twenty pushups, and when they were paired off to practice their fighting stances Depa found herself on the floor more often than not. On her tenth day she managed to pin Finn, and she was so proud of herself! Maton of course had to ruin the moment by shouting “She let you win!” This event was humiliating, but the support of her friends carried her through it. “It's natural you would struggle a little.” Khaat said. “Most of us have been preparing for these exercises our whole lives.” Finn pointed out. The pair gave her a hug that reminded her of her mothers, and she smiled. “I guess this just means I need to work twice as hard to prove him wrong.”

The fourth hour of the day was mathematics, and despite the fact that it was led by Master Aerith, who made no secret of her distrust of Depa, the Chalactan excelled. Her mother had taught her addition and subtraction in her youngest days, her earliest memories involved preparing for bed by counting the crystals in the woman’s headdress, and it was only a small leap to multiplication and division. Depa could do the basics in her head while most of her class still needed to use physical symbols to help them keep track of what they were dealing with. Once to twice she even helped Finn, who tended to struggle with larger numbers. Only Depa and a young Nikto boy passed the first exam of that year, and though she hadn’t shown all her work as expected, even Master Aerith had offered her begrudging approval at the newest Initiates prowess with numbers by the end of that week.

The fifth and sixth hours were Science and History, both proved more difficult for Depa, but she kept detailed notes, and her friends helped her sort through them as time went on. She eventually began to find them genuinely interesting. In her fourth week she managed to answer a particularly difficult trick question from Master Rancisis about the succession of Chancellors during the New Sith Wars: a period where the Jedi were integrated into the Government of the Republic in such an extreme fashion, so that for a time every leader of the government was a Master of the order. In her tenth week she managed to get the upper hand on the bully Maton who was putting together a model of a midichlorian, but had inaccurately counted the number of microbes attached to each membrane. She happily pointed out his mistake, and the purple blush that came to his complexion in response gave her indescribable pleasure. Even her friends and one or two of the other younglings laughed along with her at the boy's angry stuttering in response. Master Katri seemed to approve as well, since when the other children lined up to leave, she placed a sticky golden star on Depa’s wrist. A common sign of approval from the kindly Mirialan.

(To be Continued)

 

No Problem! I added an Index in my OP if that makes it easier to keep track of.
I'm happy you're still interested and hope you enjoy reading as much as I've enjoyed writing.

Chapter 9: A day in the life… (Part 2)

There was another standard period of meditation exercise before the seventh hour midday meal, during which time she found herself feeling more and more relaxed.
Laughing with her friends, she was really feeling integrated into the group and genuinely happy for the first time since her arrival.

One month into her time at the temple, Lilit Twoseas started a food fight in the refectory and Depa and her friends flipped a table, turning it into a fort from which they reigned berry flavored hell down upon the others. The fight wasn’t long, maybe five minutes before the Masters arrived to break it up, but it was extremely memorable. There were a hundred kids, and too many alliances to keep track of. When someone threw something at you, you returned the favor, and things changed fast. By the two-minute mark it was for all intents and purposes the west wing of the food court vs the east wing.
When one of Depa’s pastries exploded on the back of a redheaded boy, someone who was on her half of the battle line, and who had only ten seconds before been trying to help them ward off the flying fruit, the three girls couldn’t help but lose themselves in their hysterics at the ‘betrayal’.

Sure, they ended up spending the next month being forced to decipher agricultural treatises in the library as penance, but it had been extremely worth it.

There was only one standard class in the afternoon, lightsaber training with Master Yoda. He was a polite, humorous but firm Master who clearly enjoyed his role as a teacher. Despite the fact that they were using wooden sticks, metal rods and electro blades her mind went back to the pirate freighter and Mace warding off all those enemies with his blue light of energy. She couldn’t help but wonder what color her own lightsaber would be, and when she would get to build it. Her favorite color was red, and she wondered if that was one of the colors she had to choose from.
Wandering through the halls Depa sometimes saw some of the older children with cylindrical hilts on their hip, and she thought of asking when they built their weapon but was too embarrassed by her own ignorance. There didn’t seem any rational pattern to when someone got their lightsaber: some year twelves didn’t seem to have any weapon at all while other year eights could be seen proudly practicing with live beams in the room of a thousand fountains.

One day while she and her clan were practicing the Form I stances Yoda had shown them the previous day, Master Yaddle entered the veranda, and Yoda told them to halt their exercise. “Younglings! A visitor we have.” They put their training blades away and called out a greeting to the stout female who was only slightly shorter than the shortest of those gathered there. “What help can I be?” Yoda asked the other Master, who waved his question away. “I was just observing our newest arrival.” Depa blushed as she looked towards her, only managing a weak wave. “Picking up the first form fast she is, great skill with the blade she will one day have.”

Yoda’s praise did little to tamper her embarrassment, if anything the compliment exasperated it. Made all the worse by the hushed whispering she heard behind her. She couldn’t make out what her peers were saying but she hated being the center of attention.
Clearly sensing the concern, Yaddle suggested she should go, but Yoda interjected. “Perhaps a demonstration would do them good? Hmm?” There was a playful sparkle in the Grand Masters eye, and though Yaddle was clearly hesitant, the younglings managed to goad her into it.

After she passed through the gathered clan, she took out her weapon and the twin green lightsaber locked, and the fight that ensued could hardly be called a demonstration.
Each second it seemed like Yoda’s blade was in ten separate strikes, he flew above and below, each attack measured but quick. Sometimes he seemed to teleport magically from one position to the next in the blink of an eye!

Yaddle in contrast hardly seemed to move at all, and it was her stance Depa felt transfixed by. She never attacked, intercepting each of Yoda’s blows with a casualness that she suspected most elder Jedi would be stunned by. These two creatures had lived centuries, had fought an innumerable number of foes, had perfected their chosen forms, and actually seemed evenly matched despite their drastically different styles. Yaddle’s impenetrable defense seemed to be holding off an unstoppable force. Depa felt a kinship with that restrained approach, and she knew one day she wanted that for herself. Yoda struck high, and Yaddle twitched her blade at an angle that led the older Jedi to fly past her.

Depa and a few other younglings clapped excitedly. To be able to accomplish so much with so little, it seemed like the pinnacle of all that a Jedi is and should be. Finally, the pair bowed to each other and put their blades away. “Good it is, to see that your defense has not wavered in your commitment to teaching.” Yoda seemed impressed. Yaddle nodded in return, before looking to the rest of the gathered children. “Remember younglings, there is much more to being a Jedi than simple bladework.” There was a winded note to her voice, and for a moment Depa couldn’t help but wonder who would have come out on top had this battle been real. The female Master left then, with only one last cursory goodbye to the gathered children. Then to everyone's disappointment Yoda ordered them to return to the remotes.

It wasn’t until the end of class that Depa realized that someone had snuck some sweats into her pocket, and when she passed Yaddle in the hall the Master gave her a look that left her confident she knew where the candies had come from. She didn’t hesitate to happily share it with her friends. It was only four pieces, enough for herself, Finn, and Khaat. The one remaining, Depa gave to the nice boy named Ort who she had ‘betrayed’ in the food fight some days previously. Sure, the ambush had been funny, but she didn’t want a reputation as a traitor as her first legacy in the temple.

The afternoon wasn’t as structured as the morning, there were the expected meditation exercises, and Master Aerith always spent some time before the evening meal asking the younglings to review their knowledge from the day. She was quite strict. Maton often attempted flattery by regurgitating math facts from his notes in her class. It rarely worked, and Depa was happy that Mirialan's ice cold voice wasn’t directed at her for once.

Besides that, this time was mostly spent for electives and advanced training. A time for studying, refining what was learned that day, and an opportunity to explore the variety of other options available for specialized Jedi Training: Maton went to a flight simulation class, Lilet went to learn about Diplomacy and Rhetoric, Ort studied philosophy. Finn and Khaat suggested Depa try extreme nature survival, or perhaps cultural studies, but the Chalactan felt she had enough on her plate, at least for now.

She did after all still have a regular appointment with Master T’ra Saa she had to fit into her free time. A meeting she wasn’t particularly eager to attend at first.

 

Interesting and detailed descriptions about what Depa is learning and who her new friends are.

 

This week's chapter is a fair bit shorter, but I think it's a very necessary one.
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Chapter 10: A reflection of attachment

It always started the same, Depa found herself outside T’ra Saa’s room, her hand curled into a fist and ready to knock but refusing to make a noise. After only a couple seconds of hesitation the woman's voice bids her to enter. It will never not be strange to Depa, the Jedi’s ability to instinctively know when someone is nearby. She steps through the door and looks around. The large circular chamber had a natural aesthetic: the carpet was as loose as grass, and the vines on the wall had flowers of various shades sprouting from them. Far more private than the youngling dorm the young girl would grow used to.

T’ra Saa was a wooden faced Neti Jedi Master, who’s smile seemed surprisingly soft on her placid features. She would often be tending to her plants when Depa entered, and invariably asked the young girl to take a seat upon seeing her. The Master was easy to speak to, eventually Depa began to presume that the woman knew everything she was thinking before she said it, but it didn’t make it any less painful to recollect. T’ra Saa rarely said much, her questions were usually pointed, designed to make the youngling think deeper about her situation. They discussed everything, her earliest memories, her parents, her sister Sar and most of all the night she was orphaned.

The greatest challenge was articulating her feelings about her rescue. “I really am thankful to Mace for saving me.” she huffed on one particular day. “If he hadn’t, I don’t know where I would be today.” T’ra Saa nodded calmly, offering no hint of the question Depa guessed was on her mind. “Why did it take me so long to say it?" She wrapped her arms around her knees and buried her eyes in her sleeve. "I don’t know. In every way today I am better off than before: warm food, clean clothes, a comfy bed. I should be happy.” She averted her eye’s. “I should be more grateful.”
“You feel like your life is better now than if your parents had lived.” It wasn’t a question, and there was no judgment in the woman's tone, but the words still stung. Depa looked up to meet the Master's kind eyes. “I miss them.” The silence that followed was deafening. T’ra placed her hand on Depa’s, and there wasn’t an ounce of anger or disappointment in her voice when she finally spoke. “Your feelings are natural. Feel no guilt for them.” She let Depa sob for a few minutes, and the girl felt overwhelmed. She didn’t know how to articulate her thanks, while distinguishing it from her guilt and here this Jedi Master was offering a shoulder to cry on.

“In time you may consider that there are many possible divergent points in any given timeline.” Depa looked up through her red eye’s. Confusion prickled her mind as she tried desperately to understand what the Neti was saying. “Perhaps you would have found your way to the Jedi even absent the Pirate raid?” This theory hadn’t occurred to Depa, and as unlikely as it was it gave her pause to think. It didn’t put everything in a new light, but it gave her the hope that maybe this tragedy was not the sole cause of her current privilege. "The galaxy is much more complicated than mere cause and effect."
These words settled on her, and Depa could only nod with a deeper consideration at their meaning.
That session lasted for an hour, and Depa found herself returning every day in the afternoon. Sometimes they didn’t even talk about her past. On some occasions T’ra asked her to help tend to the plants, another time they played a card game for the majority of the hour, and once or twice T’ra even read her a story. These few occasions were welcome surprises, a chance for her to get her mind off of all the emotional weight that she carried with her every day.

In time Depa began to look at T’ra as a maternal figure, a fact that surprised her and began to make their sessions increasingly awkward. Naturally this did not get past Master Saa. “We Jedi teach attachment is dangerous, that being connected to family, loved ones, and the outside galaxy means we naturally will fear losing them. That is ultimately the path to the dark side. There is a value to be had in such traditions.”
Depa took a step back, expecting T’ra was about to ask her to leave and never come back, but the older woman simply smiled. “You are a dear friend Depa Billaba, I will never be a replacement for the family you’ve lost but I trust you know you can come to me with any fear or concern you have. The Council may not always understand but sometimes it can do you good just to have someone to speak to.”

A little at a time it seemed a weight was being lifted off her shoulders. She was doing better in all her classes, and six months into her meetings with T’ra she was told that she no longer had to come daily if she didn’t want to. Initially she thought she might stop, but still found herself showing up the next day at the appointed time. It was only shortly after this however that she was notified via courier that T’ra was being sent on a mission to the outer rim, leaving Depa feeling lost for that hour she now had free. It was that next week Finn Ertay finally convinced her to try out some of the extra courses she could have been taking at that time instead. Depa ended up rotating between Cultural Studies and Astrobiology, the former of which she found a particular interest in as it was taught by a particularly bombastic and elderly Ortolan Female called Udanipo Zen who enjoyed playing games and tricking the children into learning on their own.

Feeling more confident in herself Depa even began exploring the Temple more freely, the endless labyrinth fascinated her and there was always more to discover. One day, nearly a year into her life as a Jedi while passing through one of the meditation alcoves she overheard a harsh whisper.
“A horrible tragedy… did his Padawan….?”
Freezing in place the girl watched as a trio of shrouded Masters chatted in a circle around a nearby corner. The first voice she recognized was Master Katri. The Querman male standing opposed to her she suspected to be Yarael Poof, a long-lived member of the council she had read about in her history class. He was bowing his head in a grieved gesture. “Master M’ins managed to rescue the apprentice, but the child will need extensive counseling to overcome this trauma.” Depa ducked down beneath a window as they passed by.

The last Master was an elder male Gotal she thought to be T’un, he seemed quite disturbed, his voice quivered but seemed surprisingly firm when he declared “What were Pirates doing operating so deep in Republic space?” He stroked his white beard thoughtfully. “Are the Judicial Forces so incompetent now they can’t handle this nuisance?” In response Katri interrupted with a solemn tone. “This is not the first such attack, Master Cyslin Myr and her apprentice liberated another freighter full of captured refugee’s some months ago.” There was a brief pause as her voice cracked only just audibly. “That mission proved more successful.”

Master Poof raised a hand in a conciliatory gesture. “This is a pattern we need to look more deeply into. They aren’t targeting the Refugee movement for no reason.” A sympathetic note was in his voice. “A disproportionate number of their captives have been younglings compared to the normal border ruffians we have suffered in the past.”

T’un nodded along with each word. “We need to reevaluate our policy when dealing with these criminals. If another pair of Jedi were to be involved with such a tr…” His voice was cut off by Master Katri’s hand. A look passed between them, and the Masters split up. Next, Mirialan's voice broke Depa’s concentration. “I trust you have overheard all you intended to?”

 

T'ra Saa sure is helping Depa. A very nice Jedi-knight. Exploring the temple and what is she overhearing?

 

All things in time.